//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8: Taking Initiative 
// Story: Letters for Cheerilee 
// by MephileztheHam 
//------------------------------//

	

My eyes fluttered open to the morning sunlight, the bright rays of Celestia's sun greeting me to another new day. I should be happy this morning but all I can feel is contempt for the pesky ray of sunlight, isn't it weird how the sun always seems to have perfect aim? Shining right on your eyes just to wake you up to its annoying luminescence. And I thought for sure that I closed the blinds before I slept last night, how did they get open? 

“Scootaloo” the little pegasus's name rolled off the tip of my tongue as I half groaned half yawned. She most likely opened the blinds so that I wouldn't sleep in, smart little filly that one. But there is no point in moaning about the sun and Scootaloo, it's time to start the day.

“Carpe diem Cheerilee, carpe diem” I chanted aloud as I got off the couch, performing the regular morning ritual of ridding myself of every kink caused by my damn couch. As I popped and stretched out my back I went over the plan for today in my head. Drop Scootaloo off at school, head to the library for my part time job and what else?

"Romance Twilight into your marefriend?”

“Maybe I will do just that”

“Really?”

“Yes, I plan on trying to do...something”

“That isn't very assuring, sugar”

“I'll think of something, let's just worry about getting through the day for now, okay?”

“Roger that, how's your back?”

I didn't have to say anything as a sickening pop came from my back, that didn't sound healthy at all. I can't keep sleeping on the couch, the old springs inside of that thing are going to be the death of me! I really hope Scootaloo doesn't think this is going to be a regular thing, she can't stay over everyday. Sure a few days is okay but sooner or later she has to go back to the orphanage. As terrible as that sounds it is the way it has to be for now. And I don't think Scootaloo will take it well when I tell her. 

As much as I hate to say it, Scootaloo has to stop coming over for her own good. That, and I don't think my back can handle this much punishment anymore. But then I think about how much I adore that pesky pegasus and how I appreciate her company.  Yet no matter how much I care for her, the orphanage is still her home. She has to go back sometime, and besides, she can always visit me. And if she keeps sleeping over, folk will start thinking I adopted her already. I am not going to lie that I haven't considered it, but right now it was out of the question.

Maybe when I have stable income again, then maybe I might do something about her. But can I handle it?

“And in comes the adoption papers as a result. Can you imagine that? But it doesn't seem like a bad idea you know. I hear that same sex couples adopt all the time!” I shook my head at my conscience's words. I love Scootaloo, I really do but I can't adopt her as much as I wanted to. First of all I don't have the funds to care for both myself and her. 

“Yeah you have a point, so let's talk about the whole Twilight thing. Next time you have the chance to tell her how you feel you can't just go all shy and introverted on me. You have to buck up, take it to her and show her who's boss in this war on love!” war on love? I guess that is one way to put it.

“I just hope that, oh...Celestia I don't feel well...” I trailed off as I suddenly felt a heavy pressure on my gut. I feel like a sack of bricks just settled in my stomach

“Butterflies, maybe?” if only that were the case.

“Hurk! Oh crap, the exact opposite!” I retched as naseua began to fill my senses. The world began to spin, my mouth began filling with saliva and my stomach started contracting. All this added up to one thing. “Crap, I'm going to barf!”

“Alright just calm down and quickly get upstairs and-hey your natural color isn't green right? Maybe you should hustle, like now!”

“You don-urk, have to tell me twice!” I managed to utter as I retched, forcing myself to hold back the ever building pressure in my gut. My body was screaming for me to release the building bile in my gut but I held back as I rushed upstairs to unleash hell on my porcelain throne. But to my horror the door wouldn't open, the door knob was stuck fast and no amount of force would budge it. 

“Hey, occupado! Wait your turn!” Scootaloo's voice yelled out from within the bathroom. You have got to be kidding me, now of all times?! I don't have time for this!

“Open up please! This is an emergency!” I begged as I banged on the door with all of my might. But try as I might Scootaloo wouldn't open up and I was running out of time. 

“And judging from that rumble from your belly I don't think you have much longer till you spew! Don't you have another bathroom?!”

“No I don't I....wait a second” I trailed off as I noticed a window cracked open in my bedroom. A portal to the outside just begging for me to use for some much needed relief. Should I? Buck it, if anypony is walking past my home they better duck. It's either puke out the window or spend the afternoon cleaning fish chunks out of my carpet. I don't have many options here....

“Warning, if you are in the front row you will get wet!” ignoring my conscience's witty comment I dashed to the window and right as the pressure became too much I let loose. The most disgustingly grotesque sound filled my ears as the fish induced sludge escaped my stomach. Seconds that felt like hours passed and soon enough I felt relieved to be rid of the evil fish from my system. But before I could relish in my newfound emptiness I heard a blood curdling scream come from outside the window.

“What the heck?! My mane! Who is responsible for this?!” screamed somepony, whose voice was very whiny and familiar.

“You don't think?” gasped my conscience. Letting my curiousity take over I dared to peer out the window and caught sight of something both horrendous and hilarious, for me anyways. There down in the street covered in a green goopy mess stood none other than Diamond Tiara herself. And by Celestia did she look pissed. I watched as she growled obscenities and threats at nearby passerbys, no doubt attempting to find the culprit to her current soiled state. I felt bad at giggling at Diamond Tiara's expense, I wasn't trying to hit anypony with my little spew fest. And Celestia knows that not even Diamond Tiara deserved to get puked on.

As rotten as that little filly was, getting spewed on is not right in any circumstances. 

“Hey Cheerilee, what's with all the yelli-oh my gosh you didn't! No freaking way, oh gimme a hoof bump, teach!” I looked over to see a very giddy Scootaloo with her hoof outstretched towards me. Not willing to leave her hanging I bumped my hoof against hers. “But wasn't that a bit mean, even for little miss spoiled brat out there?”

Did she really think I did that on purpose? I dislike the little tiara wearing filly but I would never go so far as to dump vomit on her. That is just not classy.

“It was purely accidental, but it did save me from cleaning up the bathroom. Too bad for Diamond Tiara though, today is going to be a interesting school day for....” I stopped speaking as the same sensation from before rumbled through my gut.

“Oh crap it's a aftershock! Run to the toiler, sugar!” ordered my conscience in a shrill voice and I heeded it. I have never ran so fast in my entire life and I thought about throwing up out the window again but I didn't want to hit another innocent bystander again. And so I jumped into the bathroom with my target in sight. My pristine toilet that was about to receive the most punishment it has gotten in years. So without holding back I unleashed hell on my poor toilet. The next moments were agonizing, no it was excruciating.

And that was putting it lightly, this purge was worse than the first one!

“Ew, grody Cheerilee! What in the world did you eat?” I heard Scootaloo ask from somewhere over my shoulder. I felt her little hooves massage my back as she spoke, but it did little to make me feel better. My guts felt like they were on fire. 

“F-Fish, last night with Twil-ech....” I managed to slur out before another wave of vomit escaped my stomach. Buck this, no more talking until this is over.

“Fish? Really? Didn't you give us a lesson about how ponies besides pegasi get really sick after eating stuff like that? And here I thought you were smart enough to follow your own lessons” Scootaloo said with a laugh. I only groaned at her which only caused her to laugh even harder. If I wasn't puking out my insides I would give her a firm scolding. She doesn't know how it went down during dinner last night. I had to make a split decision!

“Just focus on purging, sugar. Out with the bad and in with the things that are not able to cause terrible sickness” my conscience spoke. That wasn't eloquent at all, at least he tried. Eventually I felt the painful thrashing in my gut subside as it was replaced with a dull stinging sensation. Now all that was left to do was to clean up. With the help of Scootaloo I got back on my hooves and what I saw in the toilet bowl was pretty damn horrifying. 

A beautiful meadow, a magnificant palace, the great hot springs of the Everfree forest. All are the things that represent the exact opposite of the horror that now resides in my toilet. Green was the word I could use to describe the mess, and maybe the word abomination. So without taking another glance at the green mess I flushed it away. Watching the green gunk swirl down the drain leaving only clean water behind. For good measure I flushed again just to make sure the remains were washed away.

“Okay, now that that is out of the way how about you get your stuff ready so we can head out?” I said as I turned to Scootaloo who was grimacing, no doubt at my recent explosive display. 

“Roger that pukerella, make sure you don't puke yourself to death on the way downstairs!” Scootaloo giggled as she disappeared downstairs and out of sight.

“And you might want to wash your face, pukerella” I rolled my eyes at my conscience's comment and abided to his words. With a quick wash later I grabbed all of my essentials from my room and left the house with Scootaloo at my side. 

On my way to the library I spotted Lyra and Bonbon sitting together on a bench. They were chatting away, with Lyra laying her head on Bonbon's lap. As I got closer I took note of how chipper Bonbon was and how miffed Lyra looked. It looked like they were arguing silently to themselves, that is until Bonbon did something adorable.  I felt my heart flutter as Bonbon cutely kissed her marefriend on the forehead. So sweet I could get diabetes. 	

“Morning you lovebirds, I see you two are enjoying your morning?” I greeted the two with a smile.

“Good Morning Cheerilee, heading to the library I assume?” her greeting caught me off guard. How'd she know? I haven't even told them or anypony else about that yet, who sold me out? I was planning on making it a surprise....

“Yeah, going off to see your new boss slash marefriend” grunted Lyra. Crap, by the sounds of things it look like somepony gossiped about Twilight and I, maybe somepony at the restaurant from last night?

“Oh hush, Lyra! Don't mind her Cheerilee, she's just a little upset about The Rusty Horseshoe closing down” what? The bar was going what now?

“Did you say the bar was closed down? How did that happen?” I asked feeling a bit disheartened at the very thought. I spent a lot of time in my younger years partying there back in the day. It was favorite place to get drunk with friends, sure I almost got roofied back there but I still have fond memories of that bar.

“It's the weirdest thing, the whole place was put out of business on the account of illegal drugs being circulated there. That's what I heard anyways, the royal guard themselves came all the way down here to close up shop. Happened just a few nights ago, must have been something serious huh? I can't believe those kinds of things were happening right under our noses! Drugs, now that is a word you'd never think to associate with Ponyville....”

I was surprised to say the least, the royal guard came in and struck down the hammer on the ol Rusty Horseshoe.  The royal guard, maybe Twilight had something to do with it? They wouldn't just crack down on a hunch that a bar held drugs. Perhaps somepony tipped them off or ordered them to search the bar. I should ask Twilight about it.

“Yeah, Twilight called the guard to shut the place down and everything. Our new substitute gave us a weird art project thing with newspapers. And while I was cutting it I found a article on the whole thing, Twilight's picture was there and everything! Twilight the crime stopper princess pony, how cool is that?”

“Crime stopper princess pony, it has a nice ring to it I suppose. But calling Twilight cool, what would Rainbow Dash think if she found you calling somepony else cool? Especially a teacher?” I teased the little pegasus as I ruffled her mane. Scootaloo just grumbled under her breath while she pushed my hoof away.

“It really is too bad though, we had some good memories there huh?” Bonbon said with an air of nostalgia. I nodded in agreement, truly our trio had quite a few moments in that dusty old dive.

“Memories shmemories, they shut down the bar! Where am I going to get drunk now?” Bonbon and I could only shake our heads at the mint mare.

“The Rusty Horseshoe isn't the only bar in Ponyville, Lyra. We can always go to that new place, Tapper's-”

“It won't be the same! I had a stool that I sat in, my favorite seat. Do you know how many nights of sitting in that chair it took to form it to my posterior? It was formed to my butt just right, now I have to start fresh....”

Oh no, one of the first signs of a lover's quarrel. The disgruntled rambling of complete nonsense, time for me to go.

“I'll leave you two alone, I will talk to you two later okay?” I said my goodbyes as I left the bickering couple behind and made it to the school without any further interruptions. As we made it to the front gate we were welcomed by two familiar faces. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle came over and tackled me with a hug. A hug to which I returned with one of my own. I didn't think they would miss me at all with them being on family vacation.

“Your students love you, why wouldn't they?” my conscience stated in a drol fashion, I just never thought I would be hug worthy is all. 

“Howdy Cheerilee! Nice to see you again! Oh yeah, uh, sorry about your job and stuff....” Applebloom muttered as she hugged me tighter. When she pulled away I saw tears threatening to leave her eyes. 

“Yeah! That was really mean what the principal did! But Scootaloo told us you got a job with Twilight so things are looking up though right?” Sweetiebelle said. Things were indeed looking up, that much was true.

“You bet! But enough about that sad business, how was your vacation? Did you have fun with your families?” I asked, giving them both one final hug before letting go.

“Oh yeah, Big Mac, Granny, AJ and I went to Appleloosa(EDIT) again to meet with the apple family! It was so much fun, why we even....” try as I might I couldn't keep up with Applebloom as her lips spun words faster than I could follow. Such a energetic one she is.

“I came along too! Rarity didn't like the, the humdrum town. I think that was the word she used, but she got used to it when she found a buyer for her design line. Buffallo! They wanted dresses and suits for....” and just like Applebloom, Sweetiebelle's lips sped off into the speed of light. Two chattering little fillies full of energy, why I might even get exhausted just from hearing the stories themselves if I could catch what they were saying. But I didn't interrupt as I listened to them go on and on, it gave me a smile to see them so excited about their travels.

“And that's when we learned about not judging a book by it's cover....or something like that ah think!” finished Applebloom. 

“Yep, that's pretty much it!” Sweetiebelle squeaked. Just as they both finished their story the school bell rung.

“Oh crud, we're gonna be late, cmon guys! See you late[r] Cheerilee!” and as the trio scampered off into school chattering amongst themselves I continued my journey to the library and arrived safely. With a quick knock on the door and a few seconds later I was greeted by Spike. Looking past the little dragon I noticed Twilight writing on what looked to be a scroll, her eyebrows furrowed, her expression showed she was in deep concentration.

“Oh, morning Cheerilee. Ready for another day in the library?” Spike greeted with a yawn, poor little guy had bags under his eyes. Must have been a rought night for him. 

“Sure am, but the question is are you?” I teased the Spike as I strode past him, intent on saying hello to a certain purple alicorn. 

“I'm still crashing after eating all those sweets last night, can you really blame me?” Spike grumbled as he yawned. Seeing him yawn nearly caused me to do the same but I caught myself. I hate when that happens. But besides that I noticed Twilight hadn't so much as felt my presence. Whatever was on that scroll must be pretty important to ignore your surroundings. So I took the chance and snuck up on her. Well it wasn't so much as sneaking as much as just walking up to her side, still counts though right?

“No it does not”

“Killjoy”

Sighing inwardly at my conscience I brushed his negativity off and focused on my target. Her ears, or more specifically the one on her left. I watched as it twitched too and fro instinctively at every small sound in the room. Maybe it was a little quirk she had when she focused intently on something? Either way I found it oddly cute.

“Hey, Twilight?” I whispered to Twilight yet she still hadn't looked up from her scroll. She was oblivious to the world, whatever she was writing must have been important. With one final attempt I poked her and that was the worst decision of my morning. To put it lightly she freaked out.

“Jeezum crow! Who is it? Oh, hello Cheerilee. You startled me!” Twilight gasped. Spike and I laughed at her little scene. Twilight on the other hoof just grumbled to herself as she rolled up her scroll and handed it to Spike. I watched as he breathed fire on the scroll causing it to burst into green ashes. That must be the fabled delivery method that Twilight and her mentor Celestia use to communicate with each other. I'll never understand why a dragon is required, such an odd way to send letters, no matter how efficient.

“Okay so let's get the pleasantries out of the way and get you two started for today. Here is the list of things to be done today” and just like that Twilight passed a slip of paper to us and left upstairs without so much as a how do you do. 

“She didn't even say good morning, how are you, or anything. That is a bad sign, sugar” mused my conscience. I felt my heart drop a little, what if she doesn't want anything to do with me and just feels awkward about last night? No, she is probably just busy with something and has to get right back to it. Hopefully.

“Starting the work day with the dead eye thing already? Got something on your mind, Cheerilee?” Spike's voice tore me from my thoughts and back to the task at hoof. I just muttered an apology as I looked over the list of things to do for today.

“New books have arrived and need to be put in their proper places, dust the floors, take out the trash....” the chores went on and on, nearly fifteen items took up the list. Compared to yesterday this was a much heavier workload. According to this the number of tasks had been tripled. Either Twilight is confident that we can get everything done before night, or she is cross with me over last night. I have a feeling it's the latter one. 

“Dang, and here I thought it would be a easy day. Well let us get to it, my trusty steed!” with that said Spike and I went to work. The day went along fairly well with the two of us getting through most of the chores rather quickly. Although I wasn't much help to be honest, I was too preoccupied with my own thoughts. My mind being clouded with thoughts of a certain purple alicorn. Is she mad with me? Does she hate me for that whole thing last night?

“Honestly I just think she wants some distance to think about this whole thing. Trust me when I say this, but I don't think she hates you. Twilight just wants some time to herself. And I should know about these things, I am a flamboyant drag queen after all. My area of expertise is in romance” my conscience explained. Well that is reassuring.

“Because your credibility is so great on these kinds of things right? I guess I will take your word for it in this case. So what should I do?” I disdainfully resigned. I really hope I don't regret this decision....

“Hush up and look alive, sugar. Here she comes, nine o clock, coming downstairs! Casually look over and wave at her with a small smile!” I rolled my eyes at his commands but I did as he asked. Looking over my shoulder I saw that Twilight was indeed coming downstairs, her gaze fixated on a book floating just inches away from her face. For just a moment she looked up from her book and made eye contact with me. I waved and smiled at her, to my surprise she returned the wave with a shy smile of her own before she went back to her book.

“Hah! See? And did you notice the little blush on her cheeks? She totally still likes you! You are worrying over nothing, now go back to work all casual like and wait for my next word, sugar. Ten hut!” I scoffed at him mentally but abided to his command. I noticed Spike watching me from the corner of my eye but I ignored him. Hoping he wouldn't ask any questions. Thankfully he stayed silent throughout the rest over the next few chores. We didn't say much to each other save for the occassional yes or no on whether we should take breaks and what not.

We eventually got to dusting the floors, Spike and I agreed to divide the work with each of us dusting one half of the ground floor. Repeating the same idea for the upper areas of the library until we finished. Besides that we still hadn't said much to each other, although Spike's expression showed that he was deep in thought over something. Probably about his crush Rarity, poor little dragon is still in the throes of puppy love. Although I was silent on the outside, inside of my mind I was arguing with my conscience over the next course of action I would take with Twilight. And I was losing.

“But what if-”

“No if's, sugar. Next time Twilight comes near us ask her how her day is faring. Keep up the small talk and accidentally bump a hoof against one of her own. Touch is key here, you have to recreate that experience from last night on a much smaller scale. Do it, and no ifs ands or butts, young lady!” ordered my conscience. All of this seemed unnecessary but I gave my conscience the benefit of the doubt. The flamboyant drag queen earned that much with his advice earlier.

So I took his advice and waited. Sure enough Twilight made another round downstairs and came by with a check list hovering nearby. 

“Hey you two, just wanted to check up on your progress! I see that you have started sweeping the floors which is great progress, I estimate you will be done with the chores way before dinner time. Keep at it!” and with that said Twilight turned to leave but I stopped her with a simple cough.

“While I am glad that we are doing great I would like to know if you had a great time last night. I know we both said we did but I just wanted to make sure is all” I asked, my heart speeding up with every word. And it didn't help that her purple eyes bored into my own. I was having trouble just trying to keep eye contact with those entrancing pools of purple.

“Pools of purple? Blegh!” my groaned as he made a gagging noise. I really wanted to roll my eyes, but breaking eye contact with Twilight was a major no no.

“Oh I had a wonderful time, trust me. We should go out again sometime, maybe somewhere more private. I felt like I embarassed you when everypony noticed me, but I suppose it would be hard not to be, right?” Twilight spoke softly as she shyly wrung her hooves over each other nervously. She was too adorable. 

“I wasn't embarassed at all, it was a little jarring to be honest but it wasn't unexpected. When a princess comes to dine in your restaurant, ponies are bound to take notice. Quite a interesting experience, one that I would love to experience again if you don't mind. But a private dinner sounds great don't get me wrong! I was just saying that I would be okay with either choices is all!”

“Smooth Cheerilee, Smooth” groaned my conscience.

“Shut up!” I fumed as I began to grow more tired with his snide comments. 

“Okay, if you say so Cheerilee. I'll talk to you later though, I think I kept you long enough...”

“She's pausing! She's giving you the go ahead, bump a your hoof against hers casually. Act like it was a accident, go!” my conscience screamed, as if it was a decision that meant life or death. Or in this case, loneliness or romance.

Following my inner drag queen's advice I barely brushed a hoof idly against her own. I watched for her reaction and noticed she returned the motion with a bump of her own hoof. I didn't know what to make of that, but I remember hearing from my students in class that this was a way to show somepony you liked them. During Hearts and Hooves Day I watched as several students bumped hooves casually with one they fancied. There were a lot of blushes that month. It was a childish way to show one your affections I admit, but it works....I think.

“Of course it works, otherwise she wouldn't have bumped her hoof against yours! Unless it was a coincidence, then I would be wrong. But that almost never happens!”

“Right, so what now, mister know it all?” I asked, feeling a bit more comfortable and relieved that my conscience's advice was working. 

“Keep it up with the casual conversation and right when she is about to leave you swish your tail against hers. Timing is key here, so get ready!”

“Oh! Like in the romance novels! Why didn't I think of that?” my thoughts went back to “The Lust Equestrian Maid” and it's one notable scene. The infamous tail embrace between lovers.

“Cause you are one oblivious mare when it comes to romance. You'd think with all those trashy novels in your home you'd have the right mind to notice this crud! Now go do the thing!” I really wanted to roll my eyes at that comment but I didn't want to give Twilight the wrong idea. Plenty of time to roll my eyes at my conscience later.

“So I guess I will talk to you later, Twilight. See you later” I said shyly. Twilight just smiled as she turned to leave, now is my chance! Right as she was about to leave I quickly turned my back to her and swished my tail, hoping that I would hit my mark. For a second I thought I missed, but just as I was about to berate myself for missing I felt a tug against my tail. Glancing back I saw that her tail had intertwined with my own for just a moment. But just as our ghost of an embrace had begun it was over, with Twilight returning upstairs and I was left pondering over what just happened.

“Now then, what have we learned?”

“That I should probably listen to you more often about romance, I get it!”

“Good girl, sugar”

After my rather awkward, yet successful attempt at flirtation I continued dusting the library, eventually we ended up tidying up the entire ground floor. Leaving the second floor the last area of the library to clean up, so Spike and I moved on up. What I saw next puzzled me, or lack of what I saw actually. Twilight was nowhere to be seen, her bedroom vacant, not a single sign of her at all.

“Now where did Twilight go?” I thought aloud, my eyes scanning to and fro all over the room for my purple goddess to no avail. There is only one exit from this floor, and I doubt she left through a window.

“Twi must have teleported, to where? I dunno, she doesn't tell me sometimes. Probably to Canterlot to do princess stuff, she's been doing that a lot lately” Spike explained as he began his sweeping.

“You know, that reminds me. Why does she still live here if she is a, you know, a princess? Doesn't she have to be with princess Celestia and Luna at all times or something? Seems kind of odd to me, not that I am complaining of course” truthfully it did make me wonder why she even stays in Ponyville still. Then again she has her friends here, but she can't stay here all the time. She must get called over to Canterlot for urgencies of any kind.

But I wouldn't want her to go back to Canterlot anytime soon, not before I tell her how I feel. When the time is right of course. 

“Princess Celestia told, well more like ordered Twilight to have a little vacation so to speak. Something about her aclimawhatzing to her alicorn form in a comfortable environment. And what better place to relax than the place with all your friends just a short walk away?” well that makes sense. 

“I see, can't argue with that logic I suppose. Oh, and the word you were looking for is acclimating, Spike” I corrected the little dragon. Not willing to resist the urge to do so, being a teacher makes you do that. I just get antsy when somepony does something incorrectly. And Snips and Snails drive me up the damn wall in that area.

“Yeah whatever, I said it right the first time” Spike grumbled as his sweeping grew more frantic. Little guy has to let out that aggression somehow, heavens I wouldn't want to know what happens when a dragon keeps that pent up. Probably something firey and explosive, best not to figure out exactly what happens. I like keeping my fur on my body and not in a pile of ashes. The rest of our time sweeping and dusting was spent in silence. Not so much as a casual “how about that darn weather today?” topic. 

And then I noticed something I wouldn't have if the love bug hadn't bit me so hard. A purple pillow just resting in the corner of the room. It wasn't a amazing pillow by any means, but the color just reminded me of her, Twilight. With my hooves on autopilot I daydreamed about her, I couldn't help it. Her mane, her body, her voice and those eyes of hers. My gosh do I have it bad or what? Just thinking about her makes me feel all tingly inside.

“You really do have it bad don't you? It hurts being so close to her and not being able to say you like her. I mean, you could but would she return your affections? Maybe yes, maybe no. Based on those little touches earlier, she must feel the sameway despite what she said last night. Why don't you confront her about it today? Right when she gets back?” I listened to my conscience's words, expecting for him to make fun of me near the end of his statement. But the joke never came, this was my conscience being serious. 

And that is a rarity in itself.

Nonetheless, I thought over the drag queen's words, should I ask her? Should I tell her how I feel? What would I do if she doesn't feel the same way? That all those signs earlier were just coincidence, a misunderstanding on my part?

“I...I think I will wait a while until I tell her anything. I mean, I have my admirer on the side you know? Do I stay with him and keep sending love letters hoping for something to happen? Or do I test my luck with Twilight, and just hope that all those signs, those touches mean something? Give me a few weeks to see where things go, if the whole admirer thing doesn't work out I'll go with Twilight and vice versa. Mister admirer seems quite lovely, but Twilight is on a whole 'nother league, I just don't know right now....”

Damnit, what do I do?

“Cheerilee! Equestria to Cheerilee! You're doing the thing again!” once again Spike woke me from my trance and I found myself sweeping a spot that had been long clean of any dust. I must have looked like a zompony indeed. But Spike's timing is terrible, right when I was having a sensible conversation in my head for once.

“Sorry about that, I was just thinking about Twi-er I mean something!” I barely caught myself as I  nearly uttered Twilight's name. Hopefully Spike didn't catch that.

“You know, Cheerilee....can I ask you a question? It's something important” Spike muttered, nearly whispering from across the room as he swept.

“Sure, what is on your mind my scaly friend?” I asked with a smile on my face. On the outside I was completely calm, but on the inside I was on the verge of freaking out. Please don't do what I think you're going to do, Spike.

“Please don't be about Twilight, please don't ask about Twilight!” my conscience stammered, sharing the same anxiousness as I. Please just be a question about how to talk to mares or something....

“So you really like Twilight huh?” oh come on! Is my luck really that bad?

“Shh! What are you crazy? Saying things like that out loud!” I half whispered half yelled at Spike. Yet he smiled, no doubt my defensiveness confirming his suspicions. 

“Ahah! I knew you did! We need to talk, c'mere” Spike whispered as he raised a single claw for me to follow. I thought against it but what if he goes to Twilight about this if I don't? I don't have much of a choice here. So I obliged his waving claw and stooped down to his level. Spike eyes darted all around the library, no doubt checking to see if we were truly alone. His actions started to make me feel even more anxious than before. What if somepony were listening?

“What if your beloved Twilight Sparkle was listening right now?” 

“Don't even joke about that!”

Holding back the urge to bolt out of the library I focused back on the little dragon before me. And his ever growing smirk, great, this is not my day.

“Now before you start lying about how you don't love my friend slash mom I am gonna lay down some ground rules!” oh kill me now, I am getting the “talk” from a dragon and a child no less.

“Ohoho! This should be delicious!” giggled the drag queen in my head. Ignoring the flamboyant idiot I kept my attention on Spike, and his rather threatening gaze,

“Look, I know you like Twilight, anypony with half a brain could see that. Those googly eyes you've been giving her last night, and the little show earlier? Not as discreet as you think. And you might be thinking I want to blackmail you. I won't lie that the idea hadn't crossed my mind, so I am going to do you a favor” I opened my mouth to ask just what kind of favor but he placed a claw to my lips. Utterly silencing me as he gave me a stern look.

“And that favor is that I will help you do whatever it takes to get you two together. I may not be an adult but I am old enough to know that if you love somepony, you should do everything you can to make them yours. Heck, I try every chance I get to show Rarity I am more than just a kid with puppy love. I haven't been successful so far....but that is besides the point! What I am trying to say is that I am totally cool with you going gaga for Twilight, you would be cute together. Blegh, I am never saying that again and you better not tell anypony!”

A multitude of emotions were running through me in this moment, particularly relief and reassurance. If there is one thing that can prove that I have a chance in all of this is getting Spike's green light in dating Twilight. I was scared there for a second, totally expecting him to pull the blackmail card for something ridiculous.

“A fabulous drag queen in your psyche, your two lesbian friends and now a baby dragon giving you tips on relationships. Quite a rag tag team you got here, sugar. What could go wrong?” normally I would yell at my conscience for jinxing me like that, but right now? I feel like nothing could go wrong for once, I just have to find the right time to set things right.

“All right everypony, it's time to close up shop for now. We have an appointment at school and we cannot be late!” Spike and I heard Twilight announce as she descended from upstairs. I looked to Spike with a confused look and he shrugged.

“What appointment?” I asked, a hint of curiousity in my tone as I spoke.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you, remember how Paperweight is currently in deep with the law, correct? How Celestia had left him a letter as well?” I thought back to that day and immediately remembered. How could I forget that complete look of defeat on his face.

“Well that letter was a summons for the student council, nothing incriminating was written on it I assure you” Twilight said while a satchel drifted downstairs after her. I watched as it fit itself snugly on her side. I don't think I will ever get tired of her doing things like that.

“It did seem sketchy, I thought we blackmailed the poor stallion” I said thinking back to the night we stuck it to Paperweight. Blackmail, how hypocritical would it be if we did that to him? It would make us no better than him, us breaking the law like that.

“Quite the opposite, just a friendly reminder for him to attend a meeting for his, and I quote, evaluation of protocol due to discrepancies with work etiquette. an assumingly simple topic for a meeting. But in reality it is just an excuse to get him to show up so I can reveal him to everypony. Crude, yet effective in my opinion. It was either this or outright blackmail him, the choice was obvious” Twilight explained as she prepared her things. I watched as she packed a folder into her satchel that looked strikingly similar to the one she used to reveal Paperweight all those nights ago.

“So basically a slight misdirection to set him up? And you made a copy of the evidence, that's devious of you” I said, impressed that she had planned ahead. Very sneaky.

“Hardly, a devious thing would be working undercover with private investigators to scour Ponyville's seedier parts of town. Specifically for undesirables and narcotics deem illegal to harbor by citizens. The Rusty Horseshoe was a complete mess, I can't believe you spent time there to begin with. Such a disgusting secret was hidden right under our noses, I just hope there aren't any more places like that in Ponyville...”

“So you DID have a part in the bar closing down then?” I asked and she nodded, a smirk on her lips.

“The funny thing was that I had planned on investigating my hunch that night, and then Scootaloo came to me about your disappearance. Quite a coincidence, but not an unwelcome one. With your help, albeit indirectly, you helped me put the last nail in the coffin of that horrible bar. That and I could help out my favorite school teacher in her time of need” Twilight said in a rather holier than though tone. Obviously pleased with how things played out, so was I.

“You are one sly mare you know that? What would I ever do without you?” I said in a sing song voice, flicking my tail ever so softly against her own.

“Probably neck deep in buckets of ice cream, wasting away eating dairy products. Letting your poor figure go to waste” Twilight teased, poking a playful hoof at my belly. Oh, so she wants to get touchy huh? I said nothing as I swatted my tail against her muzzle.

“And who said you could stare, princess?”

“I was simply pointing out the obvious, one should not eat themselves out of their good looks” I blushed at that one, well played, Twilight.

“Um, guys? Hate to break up this whole...thing between you two but we are going to be late to your appointment!” realizing that Spike was still here jolted me from our flirting. My face felt heated and I was no doubt sporting a blush, but I noticed Twilight had one as well so I felt a little relieved somewhat. After our little ruined moment we traveled to school and ended up in the auditorium. This certain area of school was usually used for pep rallies, school plays, those sort of things you'd partake in school as a student. But this time, this room will be the center piece for Paperweight's fall.

And boy did I want to see him get revealed in front of everypony with high standing in the student council. 

So here we were, walking right into the auditorium. Rows upon rows of empty seats spread out before me, a few ponies sat here and there but I didn't recognize them. They were possibly journalists or ponies without anything better to do with their time. This little occasion with Paperweight isn't exactly a public event. Then I saw him, the bastard that fired me sitting in the front row. Paperweight was sitting there reading a book, unaware of what was to become of him this very day. He probably thinks this is a routine meeting over budgets or something of similar importance. Oh what a surprise it will be for him when he figures out just what was going to happen to his poor hide.

Drawing my eyes away from the corrupt stallion I inspected the table on stage spotting the student council themselves, they all talked amongst themselves. Seemingly unaware that we had arrived. I knew them all, but not only on a first name basis mind you. All my years of teaching in this school and I never really got to know these ponies, it wasn't my fault, really. They were all a reclusive bunch, always keeping to themselves and only speaking to you when it was urgent. But I wouldn't say they were bad ponies, they were quite popular actually. 

But then again there was Bookworm, an old collegue of mine from college. I spotted him in the middle of the student council line up, he was quite easy to spot. A rugged looking unicorn, a coat of green, his mane a bright gold. He had dull brown eyes and a well kept beard upon his chin. To top it all off he was the type of stallion that never aged well. Laugh lines on his face and furrowed crevices atop his forehead. 

From first glance you'd think he was one mean son of a gun. But he was the exact opposite let me tell you. He was the kindest pony you could ever ask for, I actually thought of dating him at one point when I was younger. But alas my efforts were all for naught, for he was a fan of the male persuasion. Alas that time has come and gone, I had no idea if he found that special colt in his life. Either way I waved at him, hoping to catch his attention with my frantic motions. I was sure that anypony that saw me would label me as a spastic lunatic but I didn't care.

Thankfully Bookworm noticed he noticed me and smiled instantly. Bookworm waved back with as just as much vigor as I. With that little moment I turned back to companions and noticed they were already seated in the front row. Well this is awkward. And so with a quick dash later I found myself sitting next to Twilight on her right and Spike flanked her left. But still the council had not noticed that the stars of this meeting had arrived, all except for Booworm, that is. Unfortunately before we could introduce ourselves proper, Spike chose to speak up first, much to my and Twilight's disdain.

“Ahem! We are here and are ready to begin if you would be so kind!” Spike yelled, everypony in the room including me cringed as his voice echoed loudly across the room. Damn, this place had really nice acoustics I'll give it that. And the look on Spike's face as the entire student council glared at him. Judging by the look on his face it was safe to say he regretted his decision. But his yelling wasn't all bad, it caused Paperweight to look up from his book to notice us. 

The look of utter fear was plastered all over his face.

“I apologize for my friend speaking out of turn, but as he had rudely announced, we are here and ready to begin” Twilight apologized as she elbowed Spike right in the ribs. Poor Spike only managed to utter a silent apology as he slunk in his seat. 

“It is no problem, now what was the reason you asked us here today? Oh and I, Bookworm,will speak on behalf of the council for this meeting, pleased to meet you, princess” Bookworm was the first of the council to speak up and the only one to do so.

“Greetings as well, Mr. Bookworm. I would like to go over a special case you no doubt went over recently. Specifically on Paperweight and his outlandish crimes as of late” Twilight's words woke everypony from their morning daze including Paperweight. I couldn't help but smirk as I saw all the color drain from his face. Bookworm on the other hand looked confused, and so did the rest of the student council.

“I...do not understand, princess. What crimes do you speak of?” by the sound of Bookworm's tone I could tell his confusion was legitimate. Had they really not heard of Paperweight's crime? Then that must mean he hid the whole thing from them, but how? Maybe he pulled another favor from Filthy Rich? 

“I believe this will bring everything to light” as Twilight spoke she levitated a folder towards the council. I watched as Bookworm and the others took turns flipping through it's contents. And with every page turned, their expressions grew more and more serious. By the time they had finished looking through the entire thing they all wore the same expression. The look of utter and complete disdain for a coworker.

“Paperweight, what do you have to say for this?” Bookworm spoke, his voice devoid of emotion as he magically threw the incriminating evidence right on Paperweight's lap. I watched with sick glee as Paperweight took one look at the contents and recoiled in fear from it. Suddenly realizing just why he had been called into this meeting, and he realized far too late.

“But how did you....I thought I had the only copy?” Paperweight voice barely above a whisper. The tone of a stallion who knew his number was up. 

“I always back up things of importance with copies for future reference, mister Paperweight” as Twilight spoke, I saw Paperweight sink lower and lower into his seat. Not even willing to say a single word to protect himself. What would be the point if he did? He was bucked beyond measure, and no amount of yelling on his account would remedy it.

“This is outlandish! This entire thing is a fabrication, a mere accusation I assure you all! I ought to bring the authorities into all of this, this is not fair!” I watched as Paperweight stood up from his chair as he yelled. He was doing everything in his power to make himself seem big, threats,  puffing out his chest and everything. But it was to no avail, the student council didn't even flinch.

“Threatening the student council will not make things better for you, Paperweight. So I warn you that such actions are not tolerated here, sit down” said Bookworm, his voice stoic and stern as he spoke to the corrupt principal. 

“But-”

“Silence, we are severely disappointed with you, Paperweight. Bribes from outside sources, claiming a finders fee on Cheerilee's job, the list go's on. You have dug yourself quite a hole, and no amount of yelling will fix this. I believe we all know what must be done?” Bookworm said as he looked to each of his collegeus, receiving nods from every single one of them. Oddly though I noticed one of the council, a pegasus mare, excused herself from the group. Silently she left the auditorium without another word.

What is that all about? Bathroom break maybe?

“Paperweight, we hereby remove you from your position from principal. In laments terms you are fired” we all watched as all life seemed to drain from Paperweight's eyes, all the hope of winning this just vanished.

“I-I understand, I will gather up my things and-”

“I was not finished, mister Paperweight. You are fired as I had said, and you will become incarcerated for your crimes. The guard will soon be here to take you in, I am sorry but this is how it must be” as soon as Bookworm had finished speaking, all eyes turned to Paperweight. I expected him to scream, to fight back or perhaps even attempt to escape the room. But he didn't budge, his head held low, ears flat against his head.

“I see, well there is no point in defending myself then. Yelling and screaming would only humiliate me more. Before I go however....” Paperweight stopped midsentence as he turned to me.

“I am sorry” and just as he said those three words the sound of the auditorium doors busting open sounded throughout the room. We all looked back to see a pair of armored pegasi marching with purpose, and they headed right towards Paperweight. The auditorium was silent as everypony looked on as Paperweight was handcuffed and dragged out of the room without so much as a yelp. The last thing I saw of him was that dead look in his eyes, the lack of expression on his face. 

He was broken, and I felt truly sorry for him. Even though he was part of the reason I lost my job.

“Sad to see such a once star employee go to such corrupt lengths to get a few more bits in his wallet. But alas that is the end for this meeting, thank you for your help in revealing this to us, princess. We would have never have found out otherwise, and Cheerilee?” my ears perked up at my name being called. Turning back to the council and Bookworm I was met with his smiling face.

“Expect to get your position here back soon, a letter will be sent to you when everything is sorted out. Good day” Bookworm said with a nod as he left with the student council.

“Phew, glad that is over!” Spike was the first of us to speak up, and I shared the same sentiment with him. 

“Took the words right out of my mouth” I agreed.

“You said it!” suddenly squeaked a voice in my ear. Knowing the owner of the voice I looked over my shoulder to see a grinning Scootaloo resting her head on it.

“Now when did you get here, Scoots?” I asked the filly, ruffling her mane with a playful hoof.

“I just got out of class a while ago and I saw you guys walking on in here so I thought I would drop in. I wonder who our new principal is going to be?” now that was the question of the millenia. Who would take up the torch from Paperweight? Only time will tell.

“So anyways, can we go now? Sitting in this chair is making my behind sore” Spike grumbled. Now that he mentioned it, these chairs really don't give much in lumbar support.

“Can I come with you guys? Sweetiebelle and Applebloom already went home so I just wanted to, you know, hang out?” Scootaloo asked with a pouty lip to seal the deal. 

“Of course you can, and you can help me with library work while your hanging out”

“Wait, what?”

Some Hours Later...

“Ugh! How many more chores are there to do?” Scootaloo whined for the hundreth time today. 

“I already told you Scootaloo, we only have two more to do. And you missed a spot on that window to your right!” I chided the orange pegasus while I turned my attention back to my own chore at hoof. We knocked out quite a few chores off the list in about two some hours, and it was all thanks to the extra pony power with Scootaloo. Since she was the only pony capable of flying in our trio I asked if she could wash the windows while Spike and I focused on categorizing books that had come in recently. 

Everything had been going quite smoothly, save for Scootaloo's occassional whining. Nonetheless we all were having fun working together and keeping each other company. I also took any chance I had during the day to flirting with Twilight, with my conscience being my wingstallion of course. Let me just say that things have not taken a turn for the worse, yet. 

“So has Cheerilee finally told Twilight she liked her?” I froze, dropping the book that I was carrying right on the floor. Slowly I turned to see Scootaloo with an eyebrow raised at Spike. Spike himself only shook his head as he picked up the book before setting it in its rightful place.

“Nope, she's doing some weird flirting thing with her. Like touching hooves and stuff when she thinks nopony is looking. It's a mess if you ask me” Spike said with another shake of his head.

“Okay, tell me something straight up. Does anypony else know about me liking Twilight? Or is it just you two?” I asked in my stern teacher voice, hoping I could maintain the control in the conversation. But Spike and Scootaloo looked less than amused at my attempt, their faces screamed “really?” as they went about their chores.

“I think Bonbon and Lyra know, I kinda sorta told em about it when I was buying candy from them the other day” Scootaloo spoke up first, and her answer brought a heavy feeling in my gut. My gosh, if they know then they will never let me hear the end of it later!

“How do you kinda sorta tell somepony? Seriously, Scoots?” I groaned as I stacked a few more books into my bookcase, albeit a bit passive aggresively. 

“Aw calm down, the poor books don't deserve that! Take a chill pill, sugar” said the drag queen in my head. I ignored his advice, still feeling a bit betrayed that more individuals know about my once private affair. 

“To be fair, you weren't really being discreet you know. And you wanna know the worst part? Don't tell anypony you heard this from me, but I think Pinkie Pie knows too!” just hearing that name made my heart get caught in my throat. Crap, if Pinkie Pie knows....

“Then that means you have a ticking time bomb that knows your secret. That can be either good or bad, but if Pinkie knows one thing. It's that keeping a secret means life or death, so I don't think you have to worry about her spilling the beans” Scootaloo added and I had to agree with her on that one. Pinkie Pie isn't a pony that would go around gossiping. Here's hoping that Rarity doesn't know.

Knock Knock Knock

Wonder who that could be?

“I got it!” said Scootaloo as she flew to the door. Shaking my head at her enthusiastic break from work I went back to organizing. That is until my entire field of vision was filled with a letter. Carefully taking the package in hoof I looked over to Scootaloo who saluted before returning back to cleaning the windows.

“Our favorite neighborhood mailmare?” I questioned, wondering if Ditzy was the one to delivered this. 

“Yup! She said it was sent right to you, something important!” Scootaloo yelled from above.

“What is with all the yelling, girls? Use your inside voices!” said a very irritated Twilight whom was coming downstairs. 

“I got a letter from....Young Hearts Orphanage” now why do I have a bad feeling about this?

“Hey, that's my line!”

Ignoring my conscience I tore open the letter revealing a pretty boring piece of stationary. Said stationary had one single block of text on it, all written in cursive. 

“Dear Cheerilee, as much as I wish this letter would be sent under a more pleasurable circumstance I am afraid we here at the orphanage have taken notice of something. And that something is how much time Scootaloo is spending away from the orphanage and spending said time in your custody. As you may not be aware, all children must turn in to the orphanage before a set curfew, in our case it is eight pm. And Scootaloo has been breaking this rule for that past few weeks. You can see be a cause for concern. It is unlawful for her to be in your custody after curfew, this problem can be a detriment to both you and Scootaloo.”

As I read aloud I felt a new weight on my shoulder, I looked to see Scootaloo with a worried look in her eyes. And she had good reason to be worried, so far this letter has been nothing but anxiety fuel. Something tells me this letter is not going to be all happy and smiles in the end. No matter how the letter may end, I continued to read.

“I do not know if you are forcing her to stay or if she is staying past curfew on her own accord. Whatever the reason I must ask you this politely, this must not continue. As I had written earlier, this is unlawful and unless you are planning on adopting her, she cannot stay in your home any longer. Consider this a friendly warning, I do not want to put anypony in jail believe me. You always come over to bring her back home safely her, always coming to say hi to Scootaloo on most days. I understand you hold a place for her in your heart, but as I said before, this cannot continue.”

I paused, rereading what I had just read only to find the same message from before. This was happening, whether Scootaloo or I liked it or not. And it was bullshit.

“This is...this is bullshit! I'm just hanging out with you, how the heck is that unlawful?” Scootaloo was right to be angry, but this was just the law. There was nothing I could do.

“Shh, it's alright Scoots. Calm down, let's see what the rest of this thing says” I did my best to calm the angry pegasus to no avail. She wasn't having any of my attempts at calming her, and the spite fulled look on her face said so.

“This will be a hard topic to present to Scootaloo, we here at the orphanage know how attached she can get to somepony. We regret to send this letter in the first place, but such is the law. You can however, come to visit Scootaloo at the orphanage as a visitor of course. Spending time with her during the day is fine as well, but when curfew comes along, she must be here on time. One more late arrival, and we find that you are a an atrributing factor, you will be held responsible.”

I heard Twilight gasp, looking up from the letter I saw that she was mortified. And for good reason, I could go to jail just for spending time with my Scootaloo. 

“This is so uncool, but they're right. It is the law, but it doesn't make this any less sour” Spike said as he paced around us. Twilight said nothing, but she joined me by my side. A single wing of hers draped over Scootaloo and I in a reassuring hug. It definitely felt reassuring, but it did little to relieve the heavy pang in my chest. Taking a breath I continued to read the final passage.

“And so I end this letter with my apology. I understand how much you mean to Scootaloo, she talks about you all the time whenever she is here at the orphanage. So I shall leave you with a choice, if you are so inclined. If you have the chance please consider adoption, you would make a fine choice for her. Again, I am sorry this was such a distasteful letter and I hope you have a good day. Sincerely, Young Heart.”

"I do not make the rules, and I apologize for any displeasure this letter may have brought you" reading the last line aloud I crumpled up the letter, tossing the damn thing into a nearby trash can.

"What do we do now?" Scootaloo grumbled. Looking to the little pegasus I placed a hoof on her shoulder.

"Well this means you can't sleep over in my house anytime soon, but we can still hang out during the day. Just no more crashing at my house, okay?" I tried my best to make things better but Scootaloo was still pissed.

"This sucks!" Scootaloo yelled as she picked up and tossed a book on against a wall. Much to Twilight's disdain, but she kept quiet, not willing to berate a already dejected Scootaloo. 

"I know, but we can't break the rules. No matter how they suck" and boy did I want to shove the rules right up their behinds over at that orphanage. Regardless of the bad news we all continued to work on the chores, finishing them just as the night had begin to fall. I walked Scootaloo to the orphanage, stopping just at the gates to have a word with my young charge.

"Look, I know this sucks but this doesn't mean we can't keep hanging out, okay? I will always be here when you need me, I'm just a knock on the door away. And don't give the folks here a hard time, they're just following the rules"

"Fine, but that doesn't mean I have to be nice"

"Fair enough, now get your flank inside before they send the authorities to my house. I'll see you later" I said as I gave Scootaloo a hug, to which she returned in her earnest. As we broke the hug, Scootaloo scampered off into the orphanage and I left home. As I stepped into my abode, something crinkled underhoof. Looking down I found I had trampled a poor letter. Wait, a letter? Did somepony slide it under my front door? Maybe Ditzy made her rounds and I wasn't home? With those thoughts floating around I examined the letter in hoof. 

Under closer examination I recognized the envelope to be the very same ones my admirer sends me, it has been a while since I received something from him. Without a second thought I tore open the letter and began to read. Instantly I felt that all too familiar flighty feeling at the sight of his tell tale penmanship. Ludicrously cursive with a side of meticulous neatness. 

"Dear Cheerilee, it has been a while since you sent me a letter. Are you well, you aren't sick are you? Forgive my forwardness in this matter, but what have you been up to as of late? It must have been quite a diversion for you to not have sent me not one missive in all this time. I do hope I have not offended you in some way, if that is the reason I would hate to lose you due to my own faults. I truly have missed you." 

“Well isn't he being quite the needy one? Isn't he, oh fabled drag queen in my noggin?” I said aloud, noting the obvious change in my admirers mannerisms.

"All the more reason to dump his ass and focus on your beloved princess. But wait a second, I thought you really liked him?" my conscience said, a hint of mischevous intent in his words. I thought for a moment, have things changed that much that I would just toss my admirer way like that?

“Well, I won't lie when I say that the appeal of writing love letters has grown boring for me. Comparing him to Twilight, she is so exciting to talk to and he is just....nice, you know?” is nice the right way to describe him?

"I see what you mean, he's just a nice stallion and that is all he will ever be. That first paragraph is a bad sign, sugar. The first sign of a shaky future relationsips is being overly needy over somepony. Tell him it's over, sugar" my conscience said with a yawn. Clearly bored talking about anything that has to do with my admirer. I don't blame him, this whole thing between him and I has gotten stale. But I won't lie when I say I am still a bit interested. But only a bit mind you.

“You know, I don't think I will just yet. I still find myself being fond of him, sort of. But I will keep communicating with him, just in case Twilight and I don't work out. And if Twilight and I do become an item, I can still have a wonderful friend to chat to from time to time” I explained my plan,  feeling a little guilty as I realized how manipulative I was. Is it really the right thing to do? To string my admirer along for the ride as a safety blanket to fall on in case I fall?

For a moment I expected my conscience to answer but all I got was cold silence in return. And that was an answer in itself. Regardless, I cast my admirer's letter aside and began to write my reply.

"Hello my admirer, I apologize for my lack of letters as of late. Things have been quite hectic en la casa de Cheerilee, you have no idea. I have been busy working my part time under my new boss until I get my old job back. And believe me when I say that she is something else. I am the luckiest mare in the world to have her in my life, she's like my guardian angel. You remember all those times she has helped me right? Have you ever had somepony like that in your life, somepony to take shelter against everything life may throw against you?"

I paused for a moment to think of what to write next when I realized how possesive the passage I just wrote was. How hypocritical of me, oh well.

"Hope he doesn't take it the wrong way, even thought it's exactly what it sounds like. Poor mystery stallion, how played you are by the one you love. You black widow you!” my conscience said. Almost sounding resentful of me as he spoke. I guess I am not the only bothered by this whole thing.

“And here I thought you would approve of this, all is fair in love and war, right?”

"You are right, but I still don't like teasing somepony with a relationship when they are going to get the exact opposite. I still vote you dump him right here and now to avoid any crap later on" I thought about what my conscience had said, as always he was the voice of reason. But I still continued to write nonetheless, I had to do this my way.

"But enough about my luck with her, what have you been up to yourself? I am curious to see what you have been doing, something juicy no doubt? Regale me in your next letter, my turtle dove, until next time!"

Finishing my letter with a signature I folded it back with my admirer's letter and headed to bed. As I dove into the covers and wrapped myself in a warm cocoon of bed sheets I felt a pang of guilt. Guilt that Scootaloo wouldn't be able to sleep in this comfy bed anymore. Isn't that funny? I finally get my bed back, to be free of back pain once more. And I can't help but feel like my home was empty. A void that only that rambunctious little pegasus could fill.

I should visit her tomorrow, maybe invite her to spend time with Spike, Twilight and I at the library again. With that thought I began to drift off to sleep.

“Good night, conscience”

"Night, sugar. And turtle dove? Really?"

“I have to keep him hooked with pet names, I gotta keep things fresh with pet names”

"Oh you shrew. This won't backfire at all, here's to another terrible idea!"

My conscience and I shared one last chuckle as sleep took us both. Neither of us knowing just how quickly things would get out of hoof, and boy did things get weird.

Three Days Later....

It has been a uneventful past three days spent at the library. Well, as uneventful as three days of putting up with a excessively needy admirer and a gay conscience yelling at you. “Make a move on your honey” this, and “Hurry up and do the do” that. Three days of arguing with the voice in my head, three days of wishing I had a psychologist. Besides the ramblings in my head, today I was busy organsing bookcases for what felt like the hundreth time this week. You would not believe how many books this library gets weekly, the collection literally doubles in such a short time.

Thank Celestia that Twilight donates any copies of books we already have. I love it that we get donations most weeks, but I love how it increases the amount of work I have to bucking do. But right when I start to moan and groan, I think about my boss. If Twilight wasn't here I probably would be bitching more openly, my alicorn anchor during the day, my daydream marefriend at night. 

“Hey, quit day dreaming and pass me the A section” without even looking I passed the box of extra copies to Spike and returned to my own work. Speaking of the little dragon, we had become quite close as of late. Half because of the time we had working together on chores, and half due to our little talks over romance. Most days he and I would swap stories of failed romance attempts, other days we would make up plans on how to finally get together with our would be special somepony. I guess you could the little guy and I have become kindred spirits in a way. Both of us are love the one we care about the most from afar. 

Neither one of us having enough gall to strike up the nerve to confess to our symbol of affection. 

"And speaking of objects of affection, Twilight just came downstairs on your six. Did I use thar right code word thing? Any who, she's right behind you, get to it!"

Just from hearing my conscience's warning my heart began to beat faster. The tell tale warmth of a blush threatening to show up on my face, if I was this stricken from being in the same room with her then how will I manage confessing to her face to face?

"It's easy, all you gotta do is start with small talk. Go ahead, you got this!" with a shallow gulp I strode over to Twilight. She hadn't noticed me yet, good, now I have the element of surprise. Okay, just talk casual and bring up the dating topic....easy enough. Buck. 

“H-Hey, Twilight. Rough day, huh?” I said as I poked her side. She made a little squeak at my touch, but relaxed when she saw it was me. She smiled and poked me back playfully.

“Oh I wouldn't say it's a rough day, more like a slow one to be exact. How goes the organization?” she asked while she magically sorted through a random bookshelf without even looking.  No matter how many times she performs magic I never get tired of seeing her do it.

“Pretty good, pretty good and stuff”

"Pretty good and stuff? Oh kill me now" groaned my conscience. 

“That's good I guess, well I spent enough time chatting and you still have work to do. We'll talk during lunch, have fun, Cheerilee” and just like that my chance was lost. Twilight returned to her room upstairs and I was left looking like a fool. I bucking froze, I completely forgot to ask her the thing!

"Gosh you are such a scatterbrain at this! You're a teacher for Celestia's sake! Try to at least act like you have half a brain!"

“I'll try again another day, calm down! She isn't going anywhere!”

"Excuses, if you didn't suck at romance you two would already be a couple. Ugh, just don't mess up next time, you know what? We are going to start rehearsing, just you and me later okay?"

“Fine, just shut up will you?”

While my conscience and I argued there was a knock on the door. Spike muttered something about getting it and disappeared to answer it. Moments later he returned with letter in his claws.

“Ditzy came by, said that this one is for you” I took the letter from the baby dragon and unveiled what I already expected to be inside. It was another letter from my admirer, took him long enough to reply. And so with bated breath I began to read.

"Dear Cheerilee, I am happy to see that you are doing well with yourself. It is also interesting that you are bonding with your friend, who is she, might I ask? Don't get me wrong, she sounds wonderful but what of importance is she to you? It is a simple question, one I hope does not seem too intrusive. I am simply curious to know about this so called guardian angel of yours."

Well now if that isn't passive aggressive, I don't know what is.

"Looks like he is on to us. This is going to be a long week..."

Two Weeks Later...

My conscience was right, the following week dragged on, soon enough it turned to two and then three. Even though time had passed I still had not received anything about my job, not a single letter or anything. Unfortunately I have been getting quite a lot of letters from my admirer. And with every letter I revieved from him I noticed how progessively more paranoid he had become. In every letter he asking about Twilight, even going so far as to ask for her name, where she lived! I understand if you're jealous, but come the buck on! There is a line that you so simply cannot cross, and he has crossed it.

He was starting to get down right creepy, what happened to the likeable intellectual from the first letter?

"Honestly we should have seen this come, sugar. But I didn't think he would turn out to be the possesive needy type. I imagined him to be more of a stoic jealous type that new when to stop acting out. I mean, that is what I gathered from all of his previous letters. Whatever, at least it helps you choose between the him and Twilight, right?"

I had to agree with that logic. Right from the start I had my eyes set on my admirer, but now...now he was just a fall back. And now this drastic change in his attitude, I caught a glimpse of the true stallion masked behind a calm intellectual shell. A pity that this turned out this way, a romantic reltationship sired from love letters was too much to ask for. It was really too bad, I was hoping this would end up like one of my romance novels where the heroin finally meets up with her admirer. The occasion would be done under moonlight as the two star crossed lovers exchanged their confessions face to face.

Oh well, everything can't end up like those moments in trashy novels.

"Speaking of books, how about this library huh? And the resident of said library, the puplr alicorn that has been throwing you a dozen hints a day to ask her out? The one you love so much, the one who makes you all gaga, the one you should have asked out bucking weeks ago?!"

I groaned, not this again. Every day my conscience raves at me to make a move. I know that I have been bucking things up, but I was getting tired of having crap repeated to me.

“I will ask Twilight when the the time is right, so drop it!”

“Ask me what, Cheerilee? And who are you whispering to?” I froze, realizing that I had just said all of that out loud. Slowly I faced Twilight and met with her inquisitive gaze. I opened my mouth to speak, yet no words came out. A deer caught in chariotlights, I must be the prime example of one right now. Buck my life.

“Well?” Twilight asked with a tilt of her head, her ears flattened against her head as she spoke. Oh crap, that head tilt, the ear thing! Stop being cute damnit! She is totally doing that on purpose.

"Perfect! This is your chance! Remember what we rehearsed, remember the words! Dig deep and let your inner lesbian out!"

No pressure at all then...you can do this, self! Taking a precious second to choose my next words I swallowed dryly. Celestia I need wate-

"Don't go off track, focus!"

“Twilight, I have s-something I have been m-meaning to ask you...” I started to say, doing my best not to stutter and failing terribly at it. Celestia, I must look stupid! 

"Calm down, you're doing good! Don't panic"

Felling a bit better with my conscience's words I chugged along.

“I-I have been thinking this over for a while now and it's been killing me keeping this boiled inside. We have had a lot of time to get to know each other, so I think this is as a good a time as any to ask....” my heart raced, already I felt the beginnings of a cold sweat break out. Remember what your conscience said,  don't panic, don't panic! During all of this I expected Twilight to just tell me to spit it out, but she stayed quiet. The alicorn epitome of patience, everypony.

"Keep it together! This is your moment, bring it on home!"

Here goes nothing!

“I wanted to ask you if....if you can help put in a good word with the folks down at the student council?” I said with a sigh, I couldn't do it...again. 

“The student council?” Twilight's said confusedly. My answer seemed to disappoint her, I don't blame her. I blew it, why can't I just say it?

“Yeah, it's been a while since I got a letter from them. I'm getting worried....” I lied through my teeth, hating myself with every word. I couldn't look her in the eye.

“Is that...is that really what you wanted to ask me?” I felt her touch against my cheek, she wanted me to look at her. I wanted to look, I really did. But I didn't, I couldn't bare to look at her.

“Yes...” I can't believe myself, I had another chance and....buck me. Why is it hard to talk to her? I can talk to her about anything, but not this it seems. Pathetic is what I would say I was being right now. Utterly pathetic.

“Okay, well I suppose I can send a missive to ask them why it's taking so long. I'll handle it, don't worry. I will...talk to you later...” I didn't see her face but her voice told me everything. Sad and low, the tone of utter disappointment. Without giving each other so much as a single glance we went our seperate ways for the rest of the day. I felt terrible, but my conscience and Spike were there to comfort me. 

I didn't even manage to complete the chores, and as I said my goodbyes I noticed Twilight hadn't come down to give me a goodbye hug. That alone hurt me, hard. That dashed my hopes away in an instant, was a relationship possible now? 

One Week Later...

Another week, another seven days without a single flirtation attempt on Twilight. It has been pretty much platonic between us. When we were in the same room you could cut the awkward in the air with it being so thick. But I would catch her glancing at me, and she no doubt noticed I was doing the same. Perhaps she was waiting for me to finally make my move, and stupidly I was doing the same. I wanted her to tell me herself so I wouldn't have to. If I couldn't muster the gall to make my move last week then what hope do I have at another try?

"I got nothing, I did everything in my power to train you. We rehearsed and everything, I guess you don't have what it takes to have the balls in a relationship. What a shame."

My conscience's words echoed in my skull as I sat home alone, my only company, a half filled tub of ice cream at my side. As I ate spoonful after spoonful of ice cream I glossed over another letter from my admirer. I wasn't really reading it, more like skimming it here and there for any interesting tidbits. The good news is that his paranoia has finally dissipated. The bad news? He is still talking about Twilight.

Twilight this, Twilight that. It did nothing but call forth images of her in my head. Along with the memory of my awkward failure one week ago, it just sucked. 

"At least read it, and I mean really read it. Least you got it somepony that loves you to death. Albeit in a bit possessive way, but it still counts!"

Not even feeling like arguing I reread the letter. 

"Dear Cheerilee, judging from your last letter, is it safe to say that you are downright grumpy with me? Or perhaps that grumpyness is aimed at something, or perhaps somepony? You told me that you didn't have the will to go through with something. I say something, because you never told me just what it was. Whatever the topic it was that led to the dispute between you and that mystery pony, I say you must reconcile with him or her immediately!"

I raised an eyebrow and scoffed at the writing. Like it was that easy, I can't just stroll up and say, hey Twilight I like you! Like a whole lot, or some crap like that. It just can't be that easy. Regardless of the difficulty, I still continued reading. Interested to see just what my admirer had to say.

"From your words you described yourself as a complete wreck. Forgive me for saying this, but grow up. That is right, you read that sentence correctly, grow up. You can't keep wishing for a fix to your problems from anypony, it won't always happen. I don't know what kind of argument you got into with that friend of yours, but you need to take initiative and fix this! Think about it, from all those letters about your friend and how she helped you so much. You haven't solved anything yourself, somepony just popped in and helped you!"

My eyes widened in realization, he was right. Every time I got into trouble, Twilight or sompony happened to come by to help me out. I've been the damn damsel, just like those mares in my novels I read. He is right, I have to do something about this! 

"So I will tell you as politely as I can, my dear. Buck up and dig deep, bucking dig deep! Seize your instinct, just grab that feeling in your gut and go with it, enough with the cowardice!. Don't even think about the reperucssions, think about the goal! Think about the success that is to be had, the victory that you have done something on your own. Just like how you fought to become a teacher, how you fought to bring your students knowledge and understanding! Do the same with yourself!"

Reading my admirer's words brought a smile to my face, and I knew why. I am such a idiot, buck feeling sorry for myself! I will fix this myself! No more bullshit, no more loafing around like a sloth waiting for something to come along to help. I have to help myself! Fail or not, I will try!

"Oh come on! I kept saying the same thing to you over and over this past month! And not once did those gears in your noggin start turning. Unbelievable! You just hate me, you really must if you hear the same advice better from somepony else! Buck everything!"

“It's cause he worded it differently” I teased the drag queen, only to enrage him even more.

"Oh really?! All I had to do was put a few curse words and you would listen? Who am I to have failed so much going with the whole nice and steady approach to your stupid ass? Ugh, I am done, don't call for me until tomorrow!"

“And first thing I am going to do is break up with my admirer. Not that we were ever going out to begin with, but I am still cutting him loose” for a split second I felt a little bit bad that I was going to do it. But it had to be done, and with a newfound pep in my step I marched my butt upstairs to my desk. With pen in hoof, I began to write.

"Dear my admirer, thank you for your words of wisdom. Your very letter has sparked inspiration in me to do everything in my power to take hold of my situation. And with it I shall fix this on my own terms, no more waiting for somepony to rescue me. No more wishing for a white knight, I will be my own white knight for once! I promise you that things will be different, you have my word."

And now came the sad part, with a heavy heart I began to write what I had to. 

:And with that said, I must express both my greatest thanks and my apologies for what I am about to write. I know we have been quite the couple, the pen pals to rival all pen pals perhaps. But I wish for this to end. Before you gain any notion that any of this is your fault, I assure you that it is not. It is just that I have realized something, the reason that I have been so distressed lately is due to one thing. Romance, even the word causes my heart to race, and not for the right reasons."

A pang of guilt struck me for but only a moment as I wrote the lie. I still wanted romance, I craved it. But my admirer must never know, never find out that I will never crave his affections as much as I do with Twilight. It's better this way instead of out right telling him I was just using him, like Mortar used me in a way.

"Again I want to apologize, you have been such a pleasure to communicate with. To share feelings with, but it is time for our mutual attraction to end. A relationship is just something I do not want, I have realized. Nor will I ever think of such pursuits, for it will be a fruitless endeavour to ever love somepony. I am a loner at heart, friends are enough for me and love is pointless in my eyes. I hope you understand, and that we are still friends, farewell."

With a heavy sigh and a quick trot to the park later I placed my final letter in the nook of the old oak tree. Giving the tree one last nod, I went back home.

Shame, yep, that pretty much is the right word for what I am feeling with myself right now. Even now as I lay on my bed with a tub of ice cream right beside me I still felt terrible. Shoveling another spoonful of rocky road into my mouth in hopes of quelling my despair I found that the once soothing ice cream no longer had any effect. All I felt was disgusted and filled to the brim with dairy products. I imagined my admirer's face as he checks the oak tree, a small smile upon his face as he tears open the letter to see what lay inside. And then, the slow transformation as his expression morphs into at the act of betrayal hits him.

I feel terrible now...

"Let's stop thinking about that, you did your thing and all you can do now is focus on the future. Sure, he is going to be pretty sour over all of this but he will get over it, maybe. Either way, you did the right thing. Now I hope you won't waste this opportunity tomorrow with Twilight?"

“I won't, I promise”

"Good, cause if you mess up again you will never hear the end of it. Seriously!"

“Yeah, yeah, go to sleep”

Needless to say I had trouble falling asleep. Not because of guilt, the exact opposite actually. I could just imagine what will happen, things will work out right? 

The Very Next Day...

It was a beautiful morning in Ponyville, the sun was out and the birds were doing their thing. A chorus of birds woke me from my bed this great morn, my back wasn't hurting and I felt wide awake. Not even a little bit groggy, my senses are on full alert today! When was the last time I woke up feeling this glorious? I feel like I can do anything!

"Meh, speak for yourself, sugar..."

“Aw, did somepony wake up on the wrong side of the imaginary bed this morning? Where is my peppy drag queen I know and love?”

"Buck you...bleh"

Giggling at my conscience's rough start I took advantage of my great start. With a quick shower and a bowl of nutritious cereal in my belly I left my home, my sights set on the town library. And the hopefully future marefriend of mine. I can't wait to tell her! With my mind set on Twilight I almost didn't notice a cream blur dash to my side.

“Hey! Good morning Cheerilee! My, do you look happy this fine morning, what's the occasion?” turns out the blur was Bonbon, and flanked by her tail was Lyra. They both carried baskets of sweets on their back, and Lyra looked like she was struggling to stay awake. Poor thing, not all of us can have such a great morning like mine.

“Oh nothing special, I was just planning on doing something I should have done a long time ago. Now it's my turn, why are you two out so early? I thought you don't open the sweet shop until the afternoon?” I asked the cream mare as I continued my steady pace. 

“I just want to get a head start with stocking up these new candies, we got rushed by customers yesterday. You would not believe how much candy a bunch we sold yesterday, it was a mad house I tell you. And you wanna know what the worst part is? We still have a a bunch more baskets back home. Lyra and I spent all night making candies, carmalizing them, the works!” Bonbon explained with a yawn.

“And how many hours of sleep did you get last night?” I asked flatly. My question caused Lyra to groan, Bonbon on the other hoof only giggled maniacly.

“Only two hours! But I drank a pint of expresso, so I'm good! You don't even notice the eye twitches!” taking another long hard look at my still giggling friend I noticed just how wired she looked. Bonbon looked like she would snap at any second, the caffeine crash is going to be stupendous. “So, are you dating Twilight yet? What's the story there?”

As Bonbon interrogated me she got all up in my face, just inches away as we were muzzle to muzzle. Lyra on the other hoof was uninterested as she was more focused on staying awake. Nearly falling over with every step she took. Rolling my eyes at the two I thought for a moment, I sped up my walk. Intent on getting to the library as fast as possible and away from these two.

“I would love to chat but I have to go!” and with that, I galloped to the library. But not before Bonbon screamed a final question.

“You still didn't tell me why you're so bucking happy!” for a second I thought about saying nothing. But why keep it a secret? 

“I'm going to tell Twilight I love her!” as soon as the words left my lips, Bonbon instantly let out the most ear wrenching squeal over.

“Bucking finally!” Lyra's voice was the last thing I heard from them as I sped away. 

'Bucking finally indeed. I am rooting for you! I got imaginary pom poms and everything up in here' smiling at my conscience's words I increased my speed, a burn began to work up in my legs but I refused to stop. Nothing's going to stop me now.

“Morning Cheerilee!” or maybe not. Looking over I saw Scootaloo flying by my side, her little wings flapping as hard as they could to keep her lifted.

“So what's the...ugh...what's the rush, teach?” Scootaloo said, panting as she flapped even harder to keep up.

“Gonna tell Twilight that I, oof, love her!” as soon as I spoke, Scootaloo gasped, nearly crashing from shock of my news no doubt. Taking a quick look back I saw the little pegasus punching the air victoriously. A big grin plastered across her face.

“Yes, finally! Sweetiebelle owes me twenty bits!” yelled the pegasus in triumph as she cartwheeled through the air. Giggling at Scootaloo's antics I continued to the library. After nearly crashing into several ponies I arrived at the library out of breath. My body setting off painful alarms, my legs nearly cramping up and I was sweating. I bucking hate sweating.

"Jeez, out of shape much?"

“Shut...up!” I barely managed to say as I knocked on the library door. I waited a few moments, yet nopony opened up. Knocking once more I heard a shuffling noise from inside of the library followed by a muffled groan. It sounded like Spike.

“The door is open! Quit knocking and come in!” yep, it was Spike. And he sounded pissed. So without further ado I swung open the door only to see that the inside of the library was a complete mess. Well, saying it was a mess was a complete understatement. The entire interior looked like it was hit by a tornado, books were scattered just about everywhere. A coffee table had been flipped over, and everything that wasn't nailed to the ground was either tilted on it's side or was upside down. Looking to the stairs I noticed a trail of papers led all the way up to the second floor.

Taking another glance at the mess I looked back to Spike and his less than pleased expression as he went about picking up the fallen books.

“What in the name of all that is good and holy happened here?” I asked, expecting him to say a ghost or some apocalyptic anomaly attacked the library or something. 

“Twilight” Spike simply said as he made started putting books back on the shelves. 

“What?” I asked again, did I hear him right? Twilight did all of this? Spike said nothing as he wordlessly pointed at a few books nearby. Nodding to the little dragon I began helping him clean up. 
We cleaned up in silence, and I still had not gotten an answer from Spike. 

“What happened, Spike?” I asked again, this time adding a bit of sterness to my voice as I did. This seemed to grab his attention as he looked at me, he still held the same expression from earlier.

“You want to know what happened? You did this, you set her off” Spike grumbled as he placed a book on the shelf with a heavy thunk. I was beyond confused, I set her off?

“What are you talking about?” I said, utterly bewildered at the little dragon. Spike just sighed angrily as he pointed to the stairs silently. 

“I guess I should talk to Twilight then...” leaving Spike to his cleaning I cautiously climbed upstairs. Taking care as to not slip on the scattered pieces of paper on the steps, I began to hear the sound of something scribbling against paper. It sounded like somepony was writing, and by the sound of it seems like they were writing like there was no tomorrow. Finally as I made it to the top I saw the door to second floor was open, and as I entered I noticed it had been spared the destruction that plagued the room below. Although the floor had been covered with crumpled pieces of paper, and spent inkwells.

And following the trail of crumpled pieces of paper I was met with a peculiar sight. There bent over a desk was Twilight, her back was facing me but it was easy to see that she was the source of all these wasted papers. I took a single step forward, and as I did so the scribbling stopped. For some reason I felt a impending sense of doom surround me, like I was about to regret even setting hoof up here. Slowly I took another few steps, not willing to outright approach her in case she was still upset.

“Twilight? Are you oka-”

“What is it?!” Twilight yelled as she whipped around towards me. And what a sight she was, her mane was a complete mess. And her eyes, they were blood shot. The fur beneath them was slightly matted, streaks of what looked to be dried up tears surrounded her eyes. Had she been crying?

“I-I wanted to s-see if you were okay, Spike said that the whole mess downstairs was your fault. Are you okay? Is today a bad time for me to be here?” I asked softly as I took  step back, just in case she exploded at me again. 

“Nothing, everything is just peachy! And no, today is perfect! Here is your list of things to do today, have fun!” Twilight's voice just reeked of sarcasm as she threw a balled up piece of paper at me. I didn't say anything to her as I inspected the projectile, opening it up to see a incredulous sight. No less than twenty or so items were listed, there is no way she expects me to do all of this in one day?

“Okay, what did I do? Did something happen?” my question seemed to piss her off even more as her wings flared in all of their glory. Like a feathered warning to tell me to back the buck off, but I stood my ground.

“Twilight, what's wrong?” I asked with the most soothing tone I could muster. And to my relief she relaxed, her wings folded back to her sides and she sat back on her haunches with a sigh.

“Nothing, just...just get to work, okay?” not willing to anger her anymore, I obeyed her wish and left the room in silence. But I had to say something, right?

“Hey, I wanted to-ow!” before I could even say anything, the door shut right in my face. Twilight didn't even give me a chance to say anything, she just shut the door on me...

"And right on your muzzle too, let's hope it isn't scrunched up permanently..."

“Is this really the time, mister drag queen?” I whispered to my conscience, not a hint of humor in my tone. He said nothing, only giving me a silent sigh. Yeah, didn't think so...

“What happened to her? This isn't like her, not like her at all...” I muttered to myself as I returned downstairs. But as I made it to the final step I slipped, falling flat on my muzzle as the floor and I crashed into each other. 

“Fanbuckingstatic, bucking papers!” I grunted, picking up the offending slip of paper that caused my fall. Taking a glance at it I noticed something, something that made my heart race. 

“Is this...” I said, shocked at what I held in my grasp.

"Your admirer's letter?" finished my conscience, sounding no less perplexed than I. What in the world? Looking at the letter once more to see if it really was from my admirer I found that it was legitimate. His tell tale cursive hand writing was there plain as day.

“Okay, just what the heck happened? Why is...this here? Please tell me, Spike” I asked, waving my admirer's letter in front of him. Spike took one look at the letter, and then at me as he sighed angrily in response. I watched as he left to the stairs, leaning down as he picked up a few papers from the stairs. As he returned to me he thrusted a single page from his stack towards me. Raising an eyebrow at him I took the piece of paper and read. What I saw only made me even become even more befuddled. This is my letter I sent to my admirer yesterday. Why is this here?

“How did th-” I began to say, only to have Spike shove hand across my muzzle. 

“I am so disappointed in you, why would you write something like that?” I could only raise a eyebrow at him seeing as how I was effectively silenced by his claws. Realizing that I couldn't speak, he released me from his grasp as he mumbled an apology. Ignoring that I was just colt handled by a baby dragon I asked my questions.

“What are you talking about? How did you guys get my letters? Why is Twilight even going through my letters? What is going on here?” my questions only irked the dragon even more as he rolled his eyes at me. His frown growing even bigger he flicked a claw on my muzzle.

“Are you really that dense? Riddle me this, did you tell anypony else about that so called secret hiding spot for your letters?  Who else knew about it? Think about that for a second!” as I listened to Spike's words I felt my jaw slowly drop. The sudden realization hitting me like a ton of bricks.

“Oh shit...then that means...”

“Yeah, oh shit would be an understatement, huh?”

“That you're my secret admirer! And Twilight found out about it and got upset that I was secretely hooking up with her step son! No wonder she-SMACK” the sound of scale hitting skin echoed in the room. Raising a hoof to my cheek I looked down to see Spike, his arms crossed. Did he just do what I think he did?

“Did you just slap me?” I asked incredulously as I rubbed my cheek.

“Yeah, cause you got it all wrong! And I am going to set it straight cause I am tired of keeping this a secret. I am not your admirer, it's Twilight!” hearing her name caused my jaw to fall to the floor once again. My heart dropped, the world seemed to slow down as Twilight's name reverberated in my ears.

“She's my...”

“For a teacher, you have got to be the dumbest smart pony...yes, she is! The pony you've been flirting with on paper is the same mare you've been falling head over heels with! Jeez and here I thought a teacher would figure this crud out, gosh!” Spike said with a groan, pacing in front of me as he spoke. Without thinking I dashed upstairs and tried to open the door. I say try, because no matter how hard I twisted the knob it wouldn't budge.

“Twilight? Open this door right now! We need to talk!” I yelled as I banged my hooves against the door. Seeing that my banging wasn't doing anything I pressed an ear to the door. Silence, nothing but silence. 

“Twilight, please don't shut me out...” I begged, resting my forehead against the door. Hoping she would give me a chance. And from the other side of the door I heard a silent whooshing noise as the door slowly opened. Cautiously I entered the room finding Twilight no longer sitting at her desk. I glanced around the room and saw her sitting on her bed facing the window. Slowly but surely I made my way up the small staircase and stopped just short of her bed.

Neither of said anything for a while, the tension in the air was unbearable. Not willing to endure the silence any longer I broke the ice.

“Twilight, Spike told me about the letters. I didn't know it was you, you have to believe me that I never intended for you to read that. Had I known...” I trailed off, just realizing how insensitive I was writing that letter. Even if Twilight was never going to read it, it is inexcusable to send somepony something like that. Again, silence, that is until she turned to face me. Fresh new tears cascaded down her face as she looked me in the eye.

“Did you mean what you wrote? That you never wanted any of this? That love was pointless?” her questioned pierced me.

“I was just-”

“Did you?”

“No, it was just...give me a minute to explain, okay?” Twilight said nothing, but her gaze never faltered.

“I like you, Twilight. I think I always did, but I never noticed until recently. Ever since that night at the restaurant, that moment we had...” I trailed off as I recalled that moment, a warmth began to grow in my chest at the memory.

“But why did you write all of that? Saying how love was pointless?” my ears flattened as the guilt hit me like a truck.

“I wrote it like that to cut myself off from my admirer, I didn't know I was sending it to you, believe me. Sure, I grew attached to my admirer but then I noticed my feelings for you. And when I saw that I was falling for you, that I didn't care about my admirer anymore like I used to. That's when I realized that a relationship with him, er I mean you...nevermind. What I mean is that I didn't like him like I liked you, so why keep being involved with somepony I didn't care about anymore? That is what I thought at the time though.”

Twilight said nothing as she listened, and her silence was killing me. Why doesn't she say anything? Say something!

“That is...really mean. Your letter was pretty uncaring, you tossed me, er I mean him, away. Was it really that easy? Didn't you feel guilty?” her question only made my guilt worsen. 

“Of course I felt guilty, I did like you, him, a lot. He was interesting, he knew about me. We shared similar interests and all of that. I was losing a love and a friend, I felt terrible for it. Look, I didn't want to be the bad guy there! I was between a rock and a hard place, I had to choose between two ponies I cared about. But when I think about it, I fell in love with the same pony huh?”

Twilight laughed at my answer and I could only feel a bit confused.

“This whole thing is my fault, isn't it? I should have been more direct! Come here” Twilight giggled again as she patted a spot next to her. Not willing to disappoint her, I went over and sat next to her side. 

“You know, if you don't mind me asking, where did you get the idea for the whole admirer thing?”

“Oh, right...I thought that if I got to know you better via letters it would give me a edge to asking you out in person. I didn't expect you to fall for my persona like that, I was surprised myself when you wrote back to me with such vigor. But I never expected you to cut me er...him, off like that. Quite a bold move on your part, bravo miss heart breaker”

“I try not to make it a habit, the whole heart breaking thing. But I still don't know one thing, who told you about trying out the letter thing?”

“Heheh, um, Rarity did. I was asking her for tips on dating, romance and all of those things. She gave me a fashion magazine chock full of so called fool proof plans to try out. I researched and studied on every method she gave me. Eventually I had two options left, pretend to be your admirer and see what makes you tick. Or take you out on a romantic dinner in the moon light.”

“Something tells me you regret your choice”

“Not one bit, it all worked out in the end I suppose...”

“You suppose?”

“Yes...and that leads me to my next question. Do you...love me?” Her question echoed in my mind. Again my heart started racing, I felt like my face was going to burst into flames with how hot I felt. I must have looked like a tomato with me blushing so much. The seconds ticked by as I struggled to speak, but no matter how hard I tried to speak my piece I ended up fumbling my words. But Twilight's smile never faltered as she waited patiently for my answer. And so I gave her my answer.

“I love you, Twilight” as I said those three words I felt like a huge weight had left my shoulders. All was quiet in the room, not a single word was said as Twilight looked at me, and I looked at her. Slowly I inched closer to her, and she mimicked my motions. We were muzzle to muzzle now, just inches away from her lips. But then a mischievous thought popped in my head. And so I took leap of faith, literally. Without giving her a chance I lunged at her, tumbling into the alicorn as I pinned her on the bed.

“What are y-mph!” poor Twilight couldn't finish her sentence as my lips silenced her. She struggled against me but I held her down against the bed sheets. With my hooves pined against hers I deepened my kiss. And to my joy she  kissed back, just as eagerly as I. But as much as I wanted to continue I pulled away. I watched with sick glee as she tried to follow my lips only to be stopped short, barely inches away. But as fun as it was to tease her, I felt she had enough.

Letting Twilight go I leaned down to her once more, kissing her on the cheek.

“Sorry, I got caught up in th-” I couldn't finish my words as Twilight dove at me. I let out a squeal as she attacked me, straddling me and effectively trapping me beneath her. The tables have turned and I could do nothing about it. But my hooves were still free, maybe I can still get the upperhoof! But to my dismay, Twilight's horn glowed as ethereal bindings surrounded my hooves.

“Kinky” I giggled, batting my eyelashes at her ever so slowly. Undeterred by my bedroom eyes Twilight moved in for the kill. I could do nothing but wait as she oh so slowly inched closer. And like the good little prisoner I was I waited, never taking my eyes off of her as she brought her lips to mine. As cheesy as it sounded, even though mere seconds passed, it felt like hours to me. Suddenly I felt a warm sensation rub against my lips, silently I obliged Twilight with a parting of my lips. 

Not a second later and she invaded my mouth with her tongue, the warm appendage aggressively searching for my own. And here I though she would take the methodical approach, but I'm not complaining. I moaned into the kiss as our tongues met in a warm embrace, coiling around each other in a stalemate. Not so long as a month ago did I dream of something like this happening, and now here I am. Lip locked with a princess, my princess. But that word didn't sound right, Twilight Sparkle sounds just fine to me.

"Yeah, go get it sugar! Make me proud!" I rolled my eyes at my conscience's interruption, focusing on the mare on top of me. And right as I felt a hoof trail down my belly a sound of creaking wood stopped both of us in our tracks. My heart stopped, slowly Twilight and I looked over to see Spike, his face redder than the sun itself.

“I-I-I d-didn't see anything! Sorry for interrupting!” screamed Spike as he covered his eyes. We watched as the dragon ducked downstairs, and then came the awkward silence. Twilight's horn flashed again and my bindings poofed away. Twilight and I said nothing as we both sat up together. 

“So uh, erm, the moment is gone huh?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence between us.

“Yep, and we probably scarred Spike forever now” Twilight chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Not knowing what else to say I leaned into her side, nuzzling her neck as affectionately as I could. My heart skipped a beat as she returned favor, I savored every second. Taking in her the warmth that was Twilight. But like an idiot, I ruined the moment or so I thought.

“So...does this make us a couple?” what a stupid question, of course we were. Why the hell did we end up doing all of those things earlier if we didn't care for each other. I guess I just wanted to hear her say it herself. Twilight said nothing, and for a second I was worried. But only for a second until she nuzzled me all tender like.

“Of course it does, silly. Worried that we just made out and scarred Spike in the process for nothing?”

“No way, I was just a little...”

“Unsure?”

“Yeah, sounds stupid doesn't it?”

“You're not stupid, quit saying that okay? Believe me when I say that you're the most intelligent, beautiful mare I know. And I am lucky to have fallen in love with you” Twilight said, cementing her point with a soft kiss upon my lips. I felt my ears fall flat against my head, my blush worsening from her words. Gosh, she makes me feel like a little school filly. I feel so giddy that I could just die.

“We should probably head downstairs to apologize to Spike, right? The poor little guy is freaking out downstairs over catching his adoptive mother in the act” I said, feeling a little bit bad for the dragon. But only a little bit. To my surprise Twilight shook her head at me as she embrace me with her wings.

“I think he will be fine by himself for a little bit longer, I'll just erase his memory with a spell or two”

“You're kidding, right?” 

“Yup, got you there for a second didn't I? I learned from the best party pony!”

"And one more thing, where did you get the idea for those magic cuffs back there?" my question set Twilight's blush ablaze. If she were any redder she would burst into flames.

"Rarity's magazines..."

"Well that explains that" I laughed. 

"What? Did I rush into things? Was it stupid? I'm sorry if I-" Twilight sputtered, her speech growing erratic as she went on. Before she could ramble any more I kissed her, stopping her before she went full panic mode. 

"It's fine, Twilight. It was surprising, but I kinda liked it" I huskily said as I broke the kiss.

"Well, ahem, good! Frankly I was having a mental panic attack when I did that. This whole thing has been rather unorthodox, nothing went quite like the books said it would..."

"You tried planning this out? Did any of the books or magazines say anything in particular about letter misunderstandings?"

"Unfortunately no,I had a list and everything yet it didn't work out like I expected. Maybe foregoing a plan or two isn't so bad once in a while. I got you in the end because of it, didn't I?"

“Heh, goof ball...” I muttered as I snuggled closer to her, embracing the warmth of her wings. As we snuggled in silence I took in her scent, her warmth, her everything. Relishing in the presence of my love, finally getting what I have been missing for so long. It felt good, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can't wait to see what the future brings and I'll have Twilight by my side to face it. 

Meanwhile...

I watched from afar as the two love birds embraced each other, kissing one another in a lovey dovey mess. It made me sick, and somewhat jealous. Looking down to the barely crinkled slips of papers in my hooves, Cheerilee's letters that I oh so cautiously stole from her home. She didn't even think to check around for a intruder when she found her front door unlocked, if only she noticed that a few of her letters went missing. Once a fool always a fool. She never did learn her lesson to be more aware from college.

Glancing around to see if anypony noticed me I saw I was still hidden and alone. Crouching in a bush just outside Twilight Sparkle's tree house was risky, but I had to see what was going on in there. To see what they were planning, but never have I expected this. And hearing their droll love confession, Twilight was the admirer...how disgustingly cute. Look at her, how happy she looks to have a loved one that cares about her. And her old job was going to be given back to her soon.

My back is killing me, and this crouching is hell on my knees. I feel old. But I shrugged off my pointless thoughts and focused on the sight above me. The two idiots all snug looking out the window in quiet contemplation together. Blegh!

I can't stand to see her happy, getting everything that I wanted. A dame to mooch off of, a job she will soon get back. She get's it all out of luck, and unlike her lazy ass I had to cheat my way to get what I wanted. Cheating, working honorably, same shit different name in my book, so what if somepony get's left in the dust? I didn't have a stupid princess or something as pathetic as friends to fall back on. Bitch get's the hero's treatment while I end up losing my damn teeth and my job I stole! Does anypony know how it was to bypass laws while listening to that oaf, Filthy Rich, spew crap about his spoiled brat? I deserve a damn medal for pretending to be buddy buddy to the bastard.

A fool proof plan to get a new job, to pick up from my old losses with a cushy teaching job. I was lucky to even get approached by that sleazy stallion, who knew he would have a vendetta with Cheerilee? What luck! Or so I thought, it all went smoothly. A little too smoothly, and then bam! Bucking princess Twilight Sparkle pops in to ruin everything! 

And even after all of that scheming, I still lose, perhaps drawing Cheerilee to the bar was a bad idea. I was too excited with beating her to think about the possible outcomes. Just a simple night out that ended with happy time for ol Mortar, and the purple harlot shows up, mucking everthing to hell with her presence. Cheerilee's lucky to have a guardian angel, but what would happen when she's separated from that little alicorn tether? Only one way to find out.

“Enjoy it while it lasts, poppet. Soon I will get the last laugh, just you wait. Somepony has to knock you off your dandy little pedestal, nopony makes a fool out of me. Nopony...”