//------------------------------// // Carrot Craziness // Story: A Bushel of Carrots // by GreyGuardPony //------------------------------// Lyra cantered through the streets of Ponyville, twitching with nervous energy as she made for post office. It was a little before noon, the sun moving towards it’s zenith point in the sky as she weaved past ponies who were on their way inside for the traditional noon time break. Normally she’d do the same and just wait for her friend Ditzy to make the afternoon deliveries, but today she wanted to go and pick up her post directly. Rumors had rumbled through the musician vine that some juicy contracts might be coming down the line from some of Equestria’s neighbors. Some of the theatres in larger, more cosmopolitan cities would sometimes hire Equestrian performers for an exotic flair; a practice shared by Equestria itself at times. So far, Lyra hadn't been lucky enough to be picked for such a prestigious opportunity, but every time she heard the rumors swirl, she would sneak down to the post office to see if any such requests had been sent her way. A tingle of excitement ran down her spine at the thought of getting paid for such an adventure. To see some of the exotic cultures outside of Equestria, dazzle them with her music and then sweep back home to Bonnie. The door to Bon Bon’s Confectionarium was boldly thrown open, the conquering hero Lyra striding through the door. Wrapped in the traditional dress of the elk, a deep blue vest with geometric red embroidery patterns was fit snugly across her chest, a matching skirt draped across her loin and croup. “I have returned from Elkhiem my love! I have slain dragons, sung of glorious deeds and climbed the highest boughs of the world tree!” “Oh Lyra!” Bon Bon dramatically swooned, falling into Lyra’s forelegs, “I missed you so much while you were away. I was so afraid that some elk would sweep you off your hooves!” “That would never happen my love.” Lyra cooed into her beautiful mare’s ear, “But I did learn some new things…” She gave Bon Bon’s ear a playful nibble, “’Kärlek är bron mellan två hjärtan.” “Elkish? You fiend! What did you say?” “Love…” Lyra responded, moving her kisses down Bon Bon’s neck, “Is the bridge between two hearts.” CRASH Lyra’s fantasy was interrupted as she crashed into a cart that she completely missed while lost in her romantic daydreams. Stumbling back from the point of impact, she shook the stars out of her head and looked to see exactly who she had run into. She did a double take at the smiling face of Carrot Top. The earth pony’s smile was disturbingly wide; a lopsided grin that split her muzzle like a tooth filled canyon. Lyra’s stomach twisted as she took another shuddering step back. “Carrot Top?” She gaped, a horrible thought occuring to her, “Are you okay? Is Doctor Crane back?!” Carrot Top giggled, shaking her head, “Nope! Just helping Trixie! Gotta go!” Without another word, Carrot Top tore off, her cart of supplies and blue flowers clattering loudly behind her. Blinking a few times, Lyra began heading for the post office again, a little quicker this time. Lyra slid through the post office door, quickly turning to look for her mailmare friend. “Ditzy! You won’t believe what’s going on with Carrot….Top?” She trailed off, eyes going wide at what greeted her. A gray hoof was barely poking from a massive pile of mail and parcels, waving frantically as Ditzy’s muffled cries drifted from within. It was an oddly familiar sight for Lyra, except for one thing. Sitting atop that pile, somehow, was Carrot Top engaged in the most perplexing of loops. Reaching over to a smaller pile, she picked up another parcel, examined the address closely and then placed it on atop of the pile that had her friend buried. Apparently satisfied with her efforts, Carrot Top nodded and reached for another item. “What are you doing!” Lyra shouted, running forward and grabbing Ditzy’s hoof, “Can’t you see that she needs help?” “But I am helping!” She pouted as Lyra dragged Ditzy from the depths of the letters, “I’m moving the mail.” The pout turned into an even deeper frown as she began to sniffle, “I just don’t know what went wrong.” “You pushed the shelves over!” Ditzy moaned as her head broke the surface of the stack, “I wanted you to help me move some packages from the inbox to the front so that I could deliver them.” “How are you even here?” Lyra asked, arching an eyebrow in confusion, “I just passed you in the street.” “Oh! That was Carrot Top.” Ditzy and Lyra exchanged confused glances. “But...you’re Carrot Top.” Ditzy pointed out, as if this were the most obvious fact on the planet. Which it kind of was. “That was Carrot Top. See, Carrot Top needed help helping ponies. So Carrot Top got help from Carrot Top, Carrot Top, Carrot Top and Carrot Top! Then even more ponies needed help, so Carrot Top got help from Carrot Top, Carrot Top and Carrot Top!” A very confused silence descended over the mail room, Lyra and Ditzy staring at the crazy sounding mare before them with furrowed brows and open mouths. “Okay Carrot Top.” Lyra grinned nervously, eyes wide as she pushed Ditzy towards the door, “We need you to stay right here and do not move. At all.” She grinned wider, nodding to add emphasis, “Right here, okay?” “Okay!” Dragging Ditzy outside, Lyra gave a surprised yelp when her friend spun around and pressed her up against the wall. “Lyra, what’s going on here?” “I don’t know!” She moaned, nervously tapping her hooves together, “I passed her on the way here. She was running a cart of blue flowers over to Trixie’s. I was rushing over here to tell you, about her, when I saw…her.” She finished, lamely gesturing towards the building. “Blue flowers?” Ditzy blinked, “You didn’t see what kind, did you? Because if that Carrot Top is like this Carrot Top…” “Trixie!” Lyra yelped, a thousand horrible possible fates running through her head, her hooves already carrying her across town, “We gotta go!” “Wait!” Ditzy yelled, rushing after her friend, “What about *this* one!” - - - - One of the more distinguishing features of the Official Residency of the Representative of the Night Court of Luna was its rather large yard and the wrought iron fence that blocked it in. Lyra and Ditzy could only stare at what now filled said yard from the front edge of the house, all the way to the fence. A veritable sea of distinctive blue flowers greeted their eyes, broken only by the yellow and orange mare that was planting more. The other Carrot Top hummed happily as she dropped another flower into the ground, beginning to work her way around the side of the building. “Carrot Top!” Lyra gaped, “What are you doing?!” “Making the yard beautiful!” Carrot Top beamed, already beginning to dig another hole, “Trixie told me to surprise her!” “With poison joke?” Ditzy asked, cocking her head slightly, “Carrot Top, have you forgotten what this stuff does to ponies? You’re the one who taught us about it.” Carrot Top froze, looking to the hole she had just dug, to the flowers that she had already planted, then back to the hole. She repeated this process a few times, before a distant gaze settled across her features and she stopped moving, seeming to have completely locked up. Exchanging a quick glance, the two ponies rushed to the side gate. Throwing it open, they tore across the part of the lawn that was still safe, Lyra grabbing the earth pony and pulling her away from the flower field. Ditzy waved her hoof in front of Carrot Top’s eyes, a deep frown crossing her muzzle when there was no response. “We need to get her...I guess both of them...to the hospital.” She observed, “They need help- ahhh!” At the mention of “help”, Carrot Top had become animate again, pressing her face right up against Ditzy’s, causing the gray pegasus to yelp in shock as she stumbled back against the wall of the building. “DID YOU SAY YOU NEEDED HELP?!” She shrieked through a completely manic grin. “Y-you need help!” Ditzy cowered, folding her wings in front of her head like a shield, good eye peeking through a gap in her pinion feathers. “Yes!” Lyra forcibly nodded, taking a few steps forward and placing a hoof on Carrot Top’s withers, “Listen to the pegasus. You’re not acting like yourself. ...Also, there’s two of you...somehow.” “NOPE!” Carrot Top beamed, tossing Lyra’s hoof off her with a roll of her shoulders, “Gotta go HELP ponies!” One of the office windows slid open, a distrungled looking Trixie sticking her head out. “Discord’s mismatched horns, what is going on out here?” She shouted, her gaze moved from the forms of her friends, to the field of poison joke, her eyes going wide in disbelief. “And why is my lawn covered with poison joke?!” Before an explanation could be provided, Carrot Top ran. Jumping over the wrought iron gate with the kind of goofy bounce that would be more suited to Pinkie Pie, the earth pony then took off, tearing through the streets like a foal on a day long sugar binge. Lyra groaned. This was going to be one of those days. - - - - “Two Carrot Tops?” Trixie asked, quickly trotting along as her friends brought her up to speed, “Are you sure?” “Yes.” Ditzy said simply, “We left the other one back in the post office. Also, there might be more.” Trixie stopped suddenly, almost tripping over her own hooves. “What.” She asked, voice flat, but the question still demanding, somehow. Lyra shrugged. “Well, she said that Carrot Top had needed help, so that she got help from Carrot Top, Carrot Top, Carrot Top and Carrot Top.” “Yup,” Ditzy nodded, “And that then other ponies needed help, so Carrot Top got help from Carrot Top, Carrot-” “I get it!” Trixie snapped, kneading her forehead with a hoof, the beginnings of a headache beginning to drill into her skull, “So, do we have any idea why we’re dealing with a bushel of Carrot Tops?” “Magic.” Lyra nodded sagely. Trixie stopped, looking right at Lyra with a raised eyebrow. Lyra grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. “It’s true!” “Of course it is!” Trixie threw up her hooves, “But I was hoping that you could narrow it down some.” “I have no idea.” Lyra commented, shaking her head, “I didn’t get a chance to check for any magic auras on her before she bolted.” “Well, when we find her, we’ll make sure that we examine her properly this time.” Trixie muttered. A shout of anger erupted from a building a few streets over. Ditzy winced, fitting into the air for a moment before dropping back down. “I think that it came from the library.” With a synchronized groan, Trixie and Lyra began to run for the hollow tree, Ditzy flying along behind them. As they approached, they could hear loud bangs, crashes and impacts echoing from inside the building. The front door slammed open, Lyra and Trixie skidding to a stop as a Carrot Top came stumbling out of the building, Twilight Sparkle right on her tail. The librarian had a pair of books brandished in her magic aura like some manner of righteous sword. Her purple coat was marked with ink, a flurry of dates marked across her body from crest to dock, withers to pastern. “Well,” Lyra remarked dryly, “This won’t end well.” - - - - Carrot Top happily hummed to herself as she dropped another batch of grape seeds into the ground. Green Grape was working the other side of the same row, her steps full of pep as they came closer to finishing off the repairs. A soft smile crossed her muzzle. Everything had gone well yesterday and so far everything was going well today. She had definitely made the right decision. - - - - “Have. You. Gone. COMPLETELY CRAZY!” Twilight shouted, violently whipping one of the books at Carrot Top, who quickly ducked the attack, “You were just supposed to stamp the cards in the front of the books! NOT THE WHOLE BOOK!” Hitting the ground, the book flopped open, revealing that the interior pages had been marked much in the same way as Twilight’s coat. “What happened?” Trixie asked, suppressing a bit of a giggle. Twilight glowered, waving a hoof at Carrot Top. “She came in, insisting on helping me with the library. So, I told her to stamp the return dates on some of the returned books that I hadn’t gotten to yet.” She motioned to the fallen books, brow becoming even more furrowed, “And you can see what that lead to.” “And what happened to you?” Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow. “I got...annoyed.” Twilight sighed, “Sarcastically mentioned that she might as well stamp me with her logic...which she did.” She finished, glaring daggers at the mare before her. Carrot Top seemed completely nonplussed by this. Instead, she just grinned and waved back. “Okay Twilight! Just let me know when you need help again!” Turning to rush off to inflict her “assistance” upon some other poor resident of Ponyville, she was interrupted by Trixie springing into action. “Get her!” Trixie shouted, jabbing a hoof the farmer’s way. Lyra and Ditzy dove for Carrot Top, tackling the mare to the ground. Once again, Carrot Top proved to be oddly agreeable to the events that were swirling around her. “Hi girls!” She grinned happily, the smile once again almost manic, “Do you need my help again?” “Just hold still.” Trixie commanded, her horn lighting up as she extended her magical senses forward. To her view, she could observe dual magical auras- one light orange, the other pale green- swirling around her friend’s form. “Transmuation and Conjuration? That’s an odd combination. ...It’s also not what I expected at all.” Trixie began to pace. “I mean, logically, with the way she’s acting it should be some kind of Enchantment based spell. Suggestion, maybe? Of course that wouldn’t explain the other ones… The Conjuration aspect could help explain the others. Mirror clones in a way? But whoever cast the spell would need to be around to maintain it…” “Trixie, I hate to interrupt...” Lyra frowned, looking skyward, “But incoming.” “What?” A moment later, a jasmine colored blur crashed into Trixie sending, the magician rolling end over end. Groaning, Trixie shook the stars out of her eyes, looking up into the face of Raindrops. The pegasus’ eyes were wide, her expression panicked. The overall effect was very out of character for her friend. “Raindrops?” She frowned, “What?” “Just shut up and listen to me!” Raindrops snapped back, “Carrot Top is over at the weather station “helping” out with the schedule, and grinning like a complete and utter loon! It’s Doctor Crane again, I just know it!” “Ruled that out already!” Lyra commented, “Something else strange is going on here.” “How can you tell?” In response, Lyra just pointed at the Carrot Top she and Ditzy had pinned. Raindrops stared at the copy of her friend for a few good minutes before looking back to Trixie with a raised eyebrow. “Explanation?” “Still looking for one.” Lyra sighed, “We should probably round these Carrot Tops anyway.” She frowned a bit, “Then we can figure out which one’s the real one.” “Right.” Trixie muttered, rubbing her chin as she worked out a plan, “Lyra, you’re with me on the ground, Raindrops and Ditzy, you’re going to spot from above, Sparkle...I don’t know...think you can store the clones in the basement until we can work out what to do with them?” Twilight raised an eyebrow at first, uncertainty etched on her features. But after a few minutes, she shrugged and motioned to the interior of the library. “Come on Carrot Top. I need your help to catalogue every spec of dust down there.” Not-Carrot Top grinned, bouncing to her hooves as Lyra and Ditzy let her go. She followed Twilight back into the library, happily chatting away about all the things she knew about dust, while Twilight sighed. Raindrops shook her head, taking to the sky with a few flaps of her powerful wings, Ditzy right behind her. “So,” Lyra raised an eyebrow, “Post office and weather station first? Then we look for the rest?” “Yup.” Trixie nodded, “Shouldn’t be that hard to find them though. Just follow the annoyed ponies.” “I hope the library has enough room in the basement for all of this.” Lyra sighed, quickly trotting alongside Trixie as they began the trek to the weather station. “I mean, we still only have a vague idea of just how many doubles we have, and we don’t know what the cause is.” “Which is why we need to round these doubles up and quickly.” Trixie countered, waving a hoof in a half dismissive gesture, “Besides, just how many of these things can there be?” - - - - “...They’re all the same.” Pokey twitched at the devastation that now filled the town hall office, “You filled out every form exactly the same. The tax forms, the census forms, the immigration forms, *all* the forms!” The once ordered stacks and drawers of documents were now scattered and thrown the room, the papers marked with splatters of ink from Carrot Top’s frenzied writing. The farm pony was sitting on top a stack of those completed documents, wide grin on her muzzle, ink smears marring her coat. “Yes!” Carrot Top beamed, hopping off the stack and trotting for the door, “You’re welcome!” - - - - “All right everypony!” Cheerilee grinned, “Let’s stick together.” Among the citizens of Ponyville, Whitetail Wood was considered to be the safer of the two forested areas that surrounded the town. Devoid of the large Everfree monsters and ill reputation, it was where Cheerilee preferred to take the foals of her classes on nature hikes. Carrot Top stood behind behind the collection of foals, keeping an alert eye open as Cheerilee launched into her lessons. “Now,” She began, gesturing to a small series of fruit bearing bushes growing near a large tree, “Do any of you know what this bush is?” “Carrot!” Carrot Top beamed. “Errr…” Cheerilee blinked, as a ripple of laughter rolled through the class, “That’s a very good joke Carrot Top, but no! These are lingonberries! While normally native to Elkhiem, there’s a small patch here in the Whitetail Wood when travelling-” “Carrot traders!” Cheerilee paused, staring at her friend. A googy grin was suddenly plastered across her muzzle, like her constant references to carrots was some kind of hilarious joke. Putting a brave smile on her own face, she turned back to her foals, trying to forge ahead. “When travelling elk merchants passed through here decades ago. Now, while lingonberries are cultivated for preserves, many wild creatures also eat them, such as-” “Carrots!” The students laughed again, Cheerilee maintaining her teacher mask with a smile. “Raccons-” “Carrots!” “Opossum-” “And carrots!” “And *squirrels*!” Cheerilee finished with an exasperated sigh, firing a glare her friend’s way while her students were busy laughing their tails off at the back and forth between teacher and guide. She almost did a double take at the very strong impression of Ditzy, Carrot Top’s eyes were doing at the moment. That, combined with the loopy grin was enough to make her worried indeed. “All right everypony.” She sighed, surrendering to the inevitable, “Let’s go back to the school house.” And find Trixie to figure out what the Tartarus is going on here. She thought. - - - - “I think this is the last one.” Lyra declared, leading the Carrot Top clone down stairs, Cheerilee walking along behind her. It had taken the group a few hours to run through Ponyville and round up all the Carrot Top clones...and explain to the ponies they had been bothering, what was going on. “Thank Luna!” Twilight exclaimed, throwing her hooves into the air, “I’m not sure I could take too many more of these. Lyra couldn’t entirely blame the librarian for her frustration. These ponies seemed to be completely devoid of common sense, following the whole idea of “help” in ways that only seemed to make sense in their own minds. Six Carrot Tops were currently milling around the basement, not saying much except for when they’d ask if anypony needed any help. Lyra, Ditzy, Raindrops, Cheerilee, Trixie and Twilight had formed a huddle on their side of the room. “All right,” Trixie sighed, “Any conclusions we’ve worked out so far?” “None of these are the original.” Raindrops said simply, “They’re all acting goofy.” “Yeah.” Ditzy nodded, frowning slightly, “What are these things though?” “Well, I can’t say what they are exactly but,” Twilight interjected, perking up, “After you dropped off the first two, I began to notice something.” “Lay it on us Sparkle.” Trixie nodded, motioning for Twilight to continue with a hoof. “They might have some kind of hive mind.” “Got proof of that?” Trixie asked, her eyebrow raised, “It does sound kind of far fetched. A mental link would radiate some kind of Divination magic, normally.” “Well, at the very least they seem hyper aware of what’s going on around them. ” Twilight countered, horn glowing as she floated a book over to her, “I’ve noticed them picking up on things that they weren’t directly looking at. And I do have a quick way to find out. Trixie, if you stand in front of the group there.” Shrugging, Trixie acquiesced, trotting over to the collection of Carrot Tops. Twilight walked over to one of them, leading her over to where Raindrops and the others still waited. “Can you line up there?” Twilight asked, pointing to a spot on the floor in between her and Trixie. Once they were in place, Twilight opened the book to a page displaying a bird and held it up to the copy, making sure that none of the others could see it. Waiting a moment or two, she lowered the book, and nodded to Trixie. “Ask them what the picture was.” “What was the picture that Twilight showed?” Trixie asked, an eyebrow still raised suspiciously. “Robin!” They all said, save for the one that shouted “carrot” in the back. “Okay,” Raindrops piped up, “How do you explain stuff like that though? They all have a hive mind, but they keep acting all weird. And annoying…really kind of annoying.” “You know,” Lyra commented, tapping her chin, “I wonder if they’re like that *because* it’s a hive mind.” Idly waving a hoof at her friend’s stares, she continued, “Like, when you have a whole orchestra trying to read off of one copy of sheet music. Ponies are going to miss notes.” “So, where’s the original?” Ditzy inquired, frowning deeply. “Don’t suppose any of us checked her home?” Raindrops asked. - - - - Carrot Top looked up from the mayonnaise she was making for her salad at the sound of the knock on the door. Dropping the whisk to the table, she trotted out to the front door. “I was wondering when you were all going to get ba-” She began, expecting to be greeted by her erstwhile copies. She trailed off to silence when she was actually greeted by the frowning faces of her friends. “We need to talk.” Trixie frowned.