“Shawn… wake up…” a voice faded into my hearing. It sounded indistinguishable and really, really deep.
“Aajasalaksjlksj.” I gibbered, still not fully conscious yet.
“I know you can hear me, Shawn,” he (I can confirm the gender of the voice now) said while poking me in the sides. “Get your ass up.”
My ears perked up as I instinctively jerked back further into what feels like a bed. Wait, how did I get into a bed? Wasn’t I in a car or something?
“Come on, Shawn,” the voice, which definitely sounds like Dante muttered gingerly. “You know we had a bet not too long ago.”
I yawned and lifted my head up, feeling my hoof rub one of my brows. I shot Dante an accusation repelling look, “I’m not in your bed, the hell are you talking bout-“ my sentence ended early as I took in my first sight since waking up, albeit a blurry one. My head darted left and right as I made out the environment to be the teenage boy room I grew accustomed to all these years. Hmm, how did I get here though? I think Dad carried me or something.
I shook my limbs while yawning again, albeit with more volume. “Yoooooooooooo, how long was I sleep?” I groggily enquired.
My vision was still somewhat blurry, but I made out Dante’s figure shrugging. “I don’t know, man, I just came home.”
“What time is it?”
“Six something.”
Damn, I probably was down for three hours.
I rubbed my chest slightly while kicking my hindlegs to the side of the bed. “Damn, today was crazy, man.” I noticed Dante was wearing glasses. Hmm, he usually takes them off when he comes home from school; maybe he became fond of having extra weight on his eyes? I hope he did, Dante looks funny with glasses. An accurate description is a white Steve Urkel.
“Oh really?” he asked sardonically.
“Yeah. I would tell you, but that would be a longggggggggggggg story.” I waved my hoof to emphasize.
He rubbed his chin quizzically. “Now you got me interested…”
I contemplated telling Dante the human disguised extraterrestrial encounter or the shenanigan-filled evening with Jessica, or I could tell everything in chronological order. Well, Dante finding out about the murder is inevitable since it’s gonna be broadcasted on the news indefinitely, but I still think it’s too soon to tell Dante about ‘kissing’ another male even though it’s really a female. Yeah, Dante might have warmed up somewhat, but people’s perceptions doesn’t change in one day.
“Yeah, well I guess you’re gonna have to stay interested,” I said while slowly rolling off the bed.
“Where did you come from?”
“None of your business, son. Now, excuse me, I gotta take a piss.” And do some other things.
I marched towards the door, but Dante all of a sudden hindered my path by stomping his foot right in front of my face. I grimaced and trotted to the side, but the kid predicted my movements and repeated his foot motion. After a couple more futile attempts of trying to advance through Dante, or should I say Dante’s foot, I finally gave up.
“What do you want?” I hissed.
“Hmm… tell me what happened.” He got straight to the point.
Might as well, he’ll probably find out soon anyways. Besides, brothers tell each other secrets, right?
“Okay,” I sighed, giving Dante my full engrossment, “Look, I went to Jessica’s house for awhile. We did some talking and- some other talking! Yeah, that’s all, hehe.” I swear I was going to say ‘and some other stuff’ because that sentence slips off my tongue easier than a sticky note. But, that’s too implying and not so subtle.
Dante eyebrows tapered as he quizzically rubbed his chin. “Jessica… isn’t Jessica a dude now?”
I paused for a couple of moments. Oh boy, I know what’s coming up next. “Yeah, you’re point?”
“Oh, okay. It’s nothing.”
I simpered, actually feeling pleased with Dante’s lackadaisical reaction. “I thought for a second you would accuse me of doing something intimate.”
He grimaced. “No, why would I? You still were a dude a few days ago, right?”
I nodded, knowing that it would be pointless to dispute those facts. “You right, I’m just being paranoid.
Dante sighed and finally moved his skinny, fat ass out of the way. “Where are you going?” he asked.
I shrugged again. “I don’t know, is Katie home?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I’m going into her room.”
Hey, I have a brilliant idea: why don’t you sleep with her for now on?
Ughhh, sleeping in a girl’s room. It kicks sleeping on the couch’s ass, but would she let me do it or nah?
Why don’t you go see?
While I started to walk, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of stickiness during my short gait. Did I sit in something by accident or-
Holy crap, I almost God shitting forgot!
“After I use the bathroom actually,” I muttered.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
After finishing my unsettled business, I walked to Katie’s room and knocked on the closed door gently. “Hey Katie, can I come in?”
“One second!” Katie called out.
I nodded. You know, I wouldn’t mind staying in Katie’s room. It’s not always cleaned up, but it smells nice and fresh in contrast to our room, which smells like armpits and wet towels sporadically. It has a big radio, a nice bed, a blue ray system, and most importantly, it has beanbag chairs! I’m not mad, and since Katie is a tomboy the room isn’t really that girly. Or she was a tomboy… because Katie is more feminine these days.
The door creaked open. “Oh, hey Shawn!”
I raised my head to meet Katie’s eyes. “Hi Katie.” The moment I entered the room, I felt something tangle against my hind legs, which made me stop in my tracks to get a look at it. Ah, a rubber band. I looked across the floor and saw rubber bands in abundant amount just lying. “So what’s up with the bands?”’
She smirked. Instead of responding, she dug into her pockets and took out a roll of bills, and most of it to my surprise were at least 50 -100 dollar bills with a rare 5 dollar bill in the stack. My jaw dropped open. “How the hell did you get all that money?”
“Don’t worry about that, snoopy, just know I got connects,” she replied reassuringly.
My right eye twitched. I thought the age of scamming was over and people decided to get money the venerable way: Work. Oh wait, medium wage can’’t even get anyone a happy meal from McDonalds’s! I’m not gonna judge at all. Even if it’s wrong, I just get this haughty excitement when money is involved.
“W-who?”
“Well, I’m not gonna say any names, but I know this guy who knows this guy who knew this guy who knew this who knew this guy who knew this guy’s cousin, who knew this guy who knew Hitler who knew -“
“DEEZ!” I bellowed, in which caused Katie to giggle to my discomfiture. “Does it look like I’m laughing with you? And wh- wait, did you say a guy knew Hitler?”
She directed a baffled look towards me. “I did?”
“Um yeah, you just told me tha- never mind.”
“So, what brings you here,” she inquired, quickly changing the subject.
“Well, how was your day?” I started the convo with small talk.
She shrugged. “Practice was horrible, but it’s whatever.” Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my sister plays for the girls basketball team in my school. Ha, ain’t that something. Katie and I clearly got the athletic/smart gene, while Dante got the um… I forgot.
Shit, I had practice today.
My mouth twisted. “Wait, hold up one second, did you see the varsity team practice?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who was there?”
She shrugged once more. “Once again, I’m not sure. I mean, a saw a couple of students across the day, but that’s it. Coach wasn’t there.”
My ears hung flaccid. I see, the lack of appearances is probably an indicator of the pony ‘epidemic’ ? Or maybe it was just canceled today? I hope not, that would be an impediment on my end of the field. Remember I said I was gonna do something about this sudden alien mayhem? I will need the most help possible and believe it or not, humans are a salient part of my ‘plan’. If the whole team is inflicted, I’m gonna kill myself, real talk. “Oh, okay. Hold that thought, Katie.”
“What?”
Without further elaboration, I dashed out the room and re-entered into my brother’s domain. Dante, who was now lying on the bed, glared at me suspiciously. “What do you want now?”
“Can you pass my phone? It’s right next to you.” I pointed towards the small dresser on the right side of the bed.
He glanced at it then bounced his eyes back to me while scrunching his eyebrows. “Get it yourself.”
I sighed. “Dante, c’mon, this is serious business.”
With an arch of the eyebrows, he grabbed my phone and slid it on the floor until it was in my possession. With the phone stopping about 3 inches in front of me, I picked it up and turned it upside down (or should I say downside up) so the buttons were more accessible.
I calmly swiped my nose on the screen, bypassing my lock screen. Now into the main screen of my phone, I immediately noticed a coefficient next to the message icon on my screen, which made me smile. Ah, messages, I need someone to talk to besides me, myself, and I.
Or to be more clear, me and my dysfunctional brains. Wow, I said ‘brains’. What am I, the two headed monster?
I clicked on the icon and looked at the first message that appeared on the screen, which was from… my basketball coach? My eyes widened as I expanded the message. Uh oh, I do not like this so far.
“Shawn, get your ass to practice tomorrow! And tell the rest of your teammates! It’s important!”
“Practice isn’t tomorrow…” I muttered, my voice reflecting the haze I’ve recently been put in. Hmm, he said it’s important… but when does he want us to meet? Usual time or..? I think I’ll just use my judgment and go for regular time. I should probably show Katie this.
I put my phone in my mouth, biting down on it softly to get a firm grip in my mouth. “Seeja Wamte!” I mumbled while walking out the room.
“Where are you going? And who the hell is Wamte?”
I ignored him and once again entered the ‘sister’ side of the house and caught Katie on the floor with a bunch of Benjamin’s Franklins scrambled on the floor. In her left hand looked like 400 dollars in total while her right hand had a rubber band. The sight itself astonished me so much my mouth gaped, causing my phone to drop on the floor.
I looked at the object that dropped under me and frowned. Unfortunately, the impact was too much for the phone to sustain the battery. "Shit!”
“Are you swell?” Katie asked.
I sighed. “ I’m swell. Well, coach said something about… something urgent tomorrow. Even though we don’t have practice, I got to meet up with him.”
Katie raised an eyebrow. “What do you think he wants to meet up for?”
“I don’t know, but what if he turned into a pony himself, huh? You know what that would mean, right?” I apprehensively gulped after I ended my question.
“Um, not really. Besides the fact you will have a pony teaching you.”
I responded with a quick bark of laughter. “Haha, no. I need him, but I need him as a human!”
“For what?”
“I need him to arrange a trip to Washington DC with the team. If he turns into a pony, how he’s gonna do it? I had this perfect idea but now it’s ruined because this pony shit is spreading faster than-“
“Hold up, derelick, he can still book a flight whether he’s a pony or not,” Kaite interjected with scorn.
“I know, but I need as many humans as… FUCK!”
Katie flinched. “What happened?”
“Nothing, my plan is very flawed right now,” I muttered.
“What plan?”
I scowled. “Exactly, there is no plan… yet. I need to brainstorm, and I thought about talking to you. Let’s be honest, Katie, you are the brightest in the room.”
“Aww, thanks Shawn,” she cooed while smugly putting a hand on her neck.
“But that must means you’re brighter than a lightbulb,” I snarked, which elicited a middle finger towards my way. I chuckled, “Haha, anyways, we need to go over a few ‘things’. You saw the news, right?”
“Nope.”
“Good. I’m going to show you a clip, then I’m going to explain to you the ‘whole’ story. But, I just need to ask one favor from you.”
“What?”
“Can I sleep with you tonight?”
Katie erupted with an obnoxious laugh that was a mixture of guffawing and giggling. She sounds like a ghetto Mickey Mouse. “Why?”
“Look, I have a vivid mind, so I might keep you up all night with my ideas.”
“Wow… you must have a lot of shitty ideas…” she muttered.
Surprisingly, I took Katie’s snide comment to the knee and laughed. “Not even, in fact, some of them are so esoteric that it’s finna blow your head o-“
“Alright alriight! But," her tone became more somber, “I swear, if you complain to me tomorrow about broken ribs, just know I warned that I kick alot.
I shrugged. “Hey, it’s whatever. Just know I’m not sleeping on your floor.”
“Why? You’re scared of mice running on you or something? I rather that than getting my ass kicked all night.”
I rolled my eyes. “You right. Now, shut up and listen to me.” Katie glared at me for a second, but didn’t linger on my comment and nodded ‘yes’. “You see, my initial plan was to- go to Washington D.C. with coach and the rest of the team, have him schedule a meeting with the ‘president’, and then interrogate him. If he says the wrong word, we’re jumping him and I’ll rape his mouth with my hoof! How does that sound?”
Katie cringed “There is one hundred problems with your plan, but the main one is you’re not going to enter the white house, especially since you come from a hood rat school where everyone’s lifestyle is to smoke weed, gangbang, spit at people, and dropout of school just to come back a year later. Plus, the varsity team sucks.”
I frowned. “It's not as frivolous as you think, bighead, and did you say we suck?”
She nodded. “No defense, all you got is offense. Just like your plan: All offense but no defense!”
“Whatever. What do you plan, Ms.Ed?”
“I say you should just sit back and let the police do the work before you get yourself in more trouble.”
"You're just pessimistic! Guess what? Ima go through with it! You think you know everything but you don't!" I turned around and galloped out the room apace.
It will work, I just know it! I need a few tweaks... but I think I got it!
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
End of day three.