To fly again
The wind ruffled his mane as he soared through the clouds. He could barely see through the thick darkness that enveloped the world around him but at that altitude he wasn’t afraid of any collisions. He flapped his wings faster hoping that he would be able to reach his destination on time. He had a magically sealed scroll for Princess Luna that was marked time critical. He couldn’t speculate on its contents but he knew it had to reach the alicorn on time. He wasn’t like a regular mail pony, he was an elite messenger that was reserved only for important communications, whatever was written in that scroll had to reach its intended destination as fast as possible, they wouldn’t have sent him otherwise.
There were storm clouds up ahead and he knew he had to fly above them if he were to have any chance of reaching his destination in one piece. He was so very tired, he had been flying continuously since the crack of dawn and it was past midnight, but he was close to Canterlot and he had no intention of giving up. He flapped his wings harder as he tried to gain altitude, the wind was trying to throw him off course and he could feel his hair standing on end as he approached the cloud. He kept pushing upwards but he had been too slow and instead of avoiding the cloud he flew straight into it. The sudden rise in humidity made him sputter and he felt as if he was drowning but he persevered in spite of the resistance. An electric current travelled through the length of the cloud before it was discharged in the form of a lightning bolt to hit the ground somewhere. The smell of ozone filled his nostrils as he tried not to contemplate what would be left of him if one of those were to pass through his body.
He broke through the cloud cover just as another lightning discharge went through the cloud. Without the resistance provided by the cloud he climbed in altitude at dizzying speeds. The stars greeted him and as he managed to level himself he looked below to see the cloud that had given him so much trouble. He couldn’t help wondering what had gotten into the weather ponies to unleash such a storm. Letting himself glide above the clouds he tried to determine where he was. Somewhere to his right a large mountain reached for the heavens. It seemed the strong winds had blown him off course so he banked until he was aiming straight for the mountain as he knew that on the other side, hidden from view, stood Canterlot.
The cold air helped him stay awake as he shot through the air. He wouldn’t be able to maintain his speed for much longer. He could feel his body straining to keep up with his demands and each wing beat seemed to come slower than the last. He approached the mountainside and he knew he didn’t have the strength to fly above it so he banked trying to go around. He slowly began to lose altitude, the treetops getting closer and closer to his hooves. It seemed like that was as far as he was going to get when a powerful air current pushed him upwards and towards his destination. It seemed he had managed to hit a thermal just in time. He would have whooped with joy if he’d had the strength left in him.
Canterlot, the majestic capital of Equestria with glittering walls and tall spires greeted him with its warm lights. Even at this hour there were plenty of windows glowing and lamps illuminated the streets of a city that no longer truly slept. With his goal in sight he began to relax letting himself be carried by the currents. It had been a mistake as treacherous mountain winds suddenly flung him towards the ground. He tried to fight against them but it was too late as he broke into an uncontrolled spin. Without the strength to correct his course he plummeted towards the ground. He felt himself losing consciousness as he spun faster and faster…
He closed his eyes as he plunged towards the ground but the impact he was expecting never came. Slowly opening his eyes he took in his surroundings. He seemed to be flying through the air at high speed his wings extended to either side of him. The sky was pitch black and he couldn’t see the ground beneath him. Why was he flying? Where was he headed? Why didn't he think he was about to crash? He felt as if he should know the answers to these questions but his mind didn’t seem to work properly anymore. His memory was muddled and he couldn’t recall what he had been doing before he awoke in the darkness.
Oddly enough there were no stars decorating the sky, he’d flown countless nights and he always admired Luna’s sky, yet tonight the moon was the only light in the sky and even its glow seemed somewhat subdued, as if seen through a filter. He slowed down to take in his surroundings, his mad dash turning to a gentler glide. The darkness enveloped the world below and he couldn’t distinguish any land, he could try getting closer to the ground but a sudden fear that he would just keep diving and diving without ever reaching it filled his heart. He knew in his mind that it was an irrational fear, even pegasus ponies had to land sometimes, but the fear did not diminish. Too afraid to attempt a landing, yet not knowing where he was going, he decided to fly towards the only source of light, the moon.
He didn’t try to literally fly to the moon. Every flyer knew that the higher the altitude the harder it was to breathe as the atmosphere thinned. He had never tried to fly so high, that was something a daredevil pony would do, like the Wonderbolts. He didn’t know how high he was but he seemed to be able to breathe just fine. He felt the sky calling him and the fear of landing hadn’t ebbed so perhaps flying a little higher couldn’t hurt. After all it was impossible to see and he could always be heading straight for a mountain. He flapped his wings harder as he shot upwards but it felt strange, it didn’t seem harder to climb in altitude than it had been to hover. The powerful air currents that should be trying to hamper his ascent seemed to be on vacation. He stopped flapping his wings waiting for gravity to show him the way to earth but all that did was stop his movement. He just hovered in the middle of the night sky, the moon as his only companion.
The impossibility of it made his eye twitch. It seemed gravity was broken, just like the wind. All his life as a pegasus he’d known which way was up and down and now there was no way for him to tell. If there was no up or down and no earth to land on perhaps flying towards the moon was a good idea, he had always wondered what it would be like to reach it. He flapped his wings once more as he angled towards it. The pegasus couldn’t remember for how long he had been flying but his muscles didn’t seem tired at all. If fatigue didn’t work against him in this dream perhaps the moon was an attainable goal. He only hoped nopony would wake him just as he was about to land on it.
He wasn’t sure if what he was doing counted as flying, it was more like floating. Now that he was aware that it was a dream his brain didn’t seem to bother to mimic the sensations of flight. The wind didn’t caress his coat and he felt no resistance as he forged onwards towards the celestial body. He decided that this wasn’t flying. His memory was fuzzy and he had trouble to focus on specific memories but he knew the sensations of flight. As a high speed messenger he had flown for most of his life all over Equestria delivering high priority messages. Perhaps he couldn’t fly faster than the Wonderbolts and he might not be able to perform any acrobatic stunts but he was certain he could fly longer than most pegasus ponies could dream.
He continued drifting towards the moon when he noticed nothing seemed to change. The moon didn’t appear to be getting any closer. Was he even moving at all or had that been another illusion created by his brain like the sensations he thought he was feeling at first? He stopped flapping his wings and he just floated there in the nothingness. He wasn’t sure how to describe flying in words but he knew this wasn’t it. He loved soaring through the skies, even if his memory didn’t seem very reliable at the moment he was certain of that. What he was doing now wasn’t exciting or interesting in any way. It was plain boring.
He longed to feel the wind rustle his mane, to feel the moisture in the air and the sun on his coat. His memories of all the times he had flown seemed to come back to him. Like most Pegasus ponies he had learned to fly by instinct long before actually going to any flight school. He’d been a clumsy flier, unable to control his trajectory very well as the smallest air current veered him off course. His small wings had always brought him to his destination however. That was the sole purpose of flying as he saw it. Once when he had been asked by an earth pony: “What’s it like to fly?” He had simply answered: “What’s it like to walk? It’s just another way to get from point A to point B.” After all as a messenger that’s what he had used his wings for hadn’t he? His friend hadn’t been satisfied with his answer but at the time he couldn’t think of a better one.
No longer sure what to do he continued to float in the void, for some reason that question kept popping up in his head. He felt like the answer to it was important. It seemed as if the moonlight was dimming, perhaps if he waited a little longer even that would fade leaving him in complete darkness. He wanted to be able to fly away, he didn’t want to wait until the moon itself disappeared from the sky. He flapped his wings with all his might but nothing happened, there was no air that could carry him. There was only the never ending void surrounding him.
Thoughts about all the times he had flown came unbidden to his mind. His muddled brain seemed to have an easier time focusing on those thoughts, so he just let his mind wander to the times when he had taken to the sky before thinking what his destination should be. The more he went through memories he no longer thought he had the more he realised that he had lost something during his time as a messenger. That spark that drove others to insane speeds or that had compelled his race to build flying cities made out of clouds. Pegasus ponies didn’t just fly for travel, it was much more than that, and in his blindness to get the job done he had lost sight of it.
Flight was something most pegasus ponies took for granted but the other pony races could only dream about it. As far as he knew not even the most magical unicorn could fly. Now that he no longer seemed to be able to use the air currents to push himself through the air he wasn’t so ready to dismiss it out of hoof. To think that he had taken something so wondrous for granted just because he had been born with wings. When he woke up from this lackluster dream he was going to fly again and appreciate the experience in its fullness. The moon was almost indistinguishable now and it was harder and harder for him to focus on his thoughts. Perhaps when the moon disappeared so would he.
The pegasus flapped his wings trying to propel himself towards the celestial body that seemed to be as unreachable as ever. He could feel a sense of urgency now. He didn’t know why he had to reach the moon, but he knew that what had started as an idle curiosity was now something of utmost importance. The world didn’t seem to agree with his plans however for his efforts were in vain. Without any air there was no lift and without lift a pegasus didn’t get off the ground. He wasn’t on any ground strictly speaking but the principles still applied as he strained his muscles trying unsuccessfully to launch himself towards his destination. He stretched his front hooves towards his target and tried one more time.
He felt a rising panic but his body wasn’t showing any of the signs that would normally come with the powerful emotion. His heart beat wasn’t rising and his breathing was unchanged, yet he wanted to scream. Maybe he was doomed to stay there for all eternity, never to fly again. That idea scared him more than he believed possible. To think mere hours ago he had compared flying to walking. Flying wasn’t just something he did for his work or for traveling. It was everything for him, it was his life. Nothing could ever make him feel more alive than the feeling he got when he broke out of a dive just before he hit the ground.
He wanted to fly again, one last time. With that thought his memory snapped into place and he realised that before this dream he had been plummeting to his death. Perhaps this was what came after. It could’ve been worse. Abruptly a surge of pain went through his entire body. The darkness was melting away and he could feel the hard ground underneath him. Every fibre of his being was hurting, his ears were ringing and one of his eyes was swollen shut. He tried to look around with his good eye but he couldn’t move. The sound of approaching hooves brought him hope. Opening his mouth to scream for help the only sound that came out was a pathetic whinny.
“Sweet Celestia he is still alive!” A voice exclaimed from the darkness. “Quickly, we have to stabilise him before we take him to Canterlot.”
Two other ponies reached him and started working on his injuries. He drifted in and out of consciousness as they fought to keep him alive. He wanted to tell them that he had a message to deliver and didn’t have time to be stabilised, unfortunately his vocal cords didn’t want to cooperate. He had to get their attention somehow. A large shadow landed next to the three ponies that had come to his rescue and coalesced itself in none other than Princess Luna.
“I see you have found him,” she said calmly.
At the sound of her voice the pegasus thrashed trying to turn towards her, to tell her that he had an important message, that he hadn’t failed. The princess of the night sensed his distress and unstrapped the carefully packed parchment that had been tied to his body. Instead of reading it she set it aside and flared her magic. He could feel his pain ebbing and his mind was no longer drifting into the void. With this new clarity came the realisation that his body was in a very bad shape. Although she had alleviated some of the pain most of his injuries were still there. The princess looked at him with gentle blue eyes. He wanted to ask her if he was going to live but instead he said something entirely different.
“Princess, will I - ” his voice cracked halfway through ” - fly?”
“You have done well to bring this to me so quickly, your service will not go unappreciated. Rest now, your wounds are not as bad as you may think.” As if she understood the meaning of his question she added. “You will fly again.”
He could feel himself drifting back to sleep as the other ponies strapped him onto a stretcher and prepared to transport him to the hospital. He could finally rest.
He would fly again.