//------------------------------// // Bonus - Chapter 1.21 // Story: The Secret of Pie // by Cesar //------------------------------// Twilight stared blankly out the train window. They’d been traveling for over eight hours. Eight. Hours. Sure, she knew the rock farm was far away, but this train had taken them to Dodge Junction, a little town on the other side of the country, in a fraction of the time. And she’d seen the train lines on maps, she knew that there was no way that was possible without breaking the sound barrier. So what was it? “It’s the Tesseract Effect.” The sudden sound broke Twilight out of her daze, and she glanced over at Pinkie, who was reading a newspaper. Upside down. “Sorry, what?” Twilight asked. “The Tesseract Effect. That’s what causes the strange train times.” Twilight gave her a funny look. “How did you know that I was thinking about that?” “You had the ‘this train’s times don’t make any sense’ look. Don’t worry, everyone who rides this train gets it at some point. Even I got it, the first time someone told me about it. Then I bought a ticket and it was just obvious.” “What’s obvious?” “Duh! The train arrives when it’s meant to arrive. Not a minute before, or a minute after. It does this by manipulating the amount of track space it has to travel before it reaches its destination.” Twilight thought about this for a minute. “Then how come that one trip from Canterlot to Ponyville took all night? I can fly there in about half an hour.” “Simple. The train took some minutes from other fast trips, when you needed to get to Canterlot in a hurry. Minutes can’t be created or destroyed, so the train just shuffled them around a bit until there was one super long trip, and the rest were super short,” Pinkie gave Twilight a confused look, “besides, aren’t you the super-sciencey one? I expected more from you, Twilight. Tsk tsk.” “Did you just say the words ‘tsk tsk’?” “Yes. Yes I did.” And with that, she went back to reading her upside-down paper. As much as she wanted to, Twilight couldn’t really find a flaw in her explanation. It made just about as much sense as most of Pinkie’s other theories. A little more time passed, and Twilight stared out the window some more. She got up a few times to keep her legs from falling asleep, and got some snacks from the diner car. But the ride just kept going on and on and on and on. Finally, Twilight decided to think about something other than the train’s impossible physics. “So Pinkie, what’s your family like?” Pinkie sat up from her paper (which she had somehow turned into a chain of paper dolls without any scissors) and looked thoughtfully at Twilight. “I don’t know, actually.” “What? How do you not know?” Twilight asked, confused. “Well, I haven’t seen them in several years. Last time I saw them, I was a little older than Scootaloo is now. For all I know, they’ve all changed so much I wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them.” Now Twilight was really confused. “But Pinkie, I thought you were friends with everypony. How could you leave your family like that?” “I didn’t leave on purpose.” “Huh?” “Well, maybe it’d be better if I said ‘I didn’t not come back on purpose’.” “Pinkie, that makes no sense, physically or grammatically.” “Well, you’ve been around me long enough to know that things don’t always make sense, haven’t you?” Twilight smiled. “Okay, you’ve got me there. How come you weren’t able to go back?” “Well, basically, I went out to get some ingredients for my super-ultra-deluxe party cake. It was still in its beta stage at the time. I hadn’t quite figured out the ratio of gumdrops to éclair filling. Anyways, I needed one final ingredient to take it to the next level, so I ran towards the nearest store to get some. However, when I tried to find my way home, I just couldn’t find it.” “So what you’re saying is, you got lost?” Pinkie shook her head. “No, no, nothing like that. I followed the only road that led to and from my house, but no matter how much I traveled, I couldn’t find the house. So, I eventually gave up, had a snack, and joined the nearest circus I could find.” “You joined the… actually, never mind, that part makes perfect sense.” “I know, right!? It was a lot of fun! I became good friends with a tiger who jumped through a teeny tiny ring of fire. He still sends me a card every Hearth’s Warming!” “Um… okay then?” Twilight scratched her head in confusion. “Um… well then, what do you remember about your family?” “Hmm…” Pinkie looked around the train car nervously, as if worried someone was listening in. “Well…” “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, you know,” Twilight said, reassuringly. “Oh no, it’s nothing like that,” Pinkie said, still looking a bit uncomfortable. “It’s just… well, they’re kinda… strange.” Twilight stared at Pinkie for a moment, before bursting out laughing. “Hey! What’s so funny? Is there something in my teeth?” “Sorry Pinkie, I’m not laughing at you, it’s just…” Twilight struggled to hold back her laughter, “you say they’re strange. You. Say they’re strange. I’m sorry, but that’s just kinda funny.” Pinkie just smiled nicely at Twilight as she regained her composure. Pretty soon, she had her laughter under control. “Feel better?” Pinkie asked, one eyebrow raised. “Much better.” “Good! Laughing is good for you!” “Well, you would know. You are the element of laughter, after all.” Pinkie giggled. “I guess you’re right! I am the world’s best expert of laughterology!” Twilight couldn’t help it. She started laughing uncontrollably again, and this time, Pinkie joined in. They laughed so hard, they didn’t notice the conductor enter their train car. “Could you two keep it down? There are passengers who are trying to do business.” He said sterny. “Sorry… he he… sir! We’ll try to be… quieter,” Twilight said between giggles. He just rolled his eyes and trotted away, muttering something about the bar opening too early. “Ooh, okay, that felt good.” Twilight said, pulling herself up off the ground where she had been lying. “Now then, where were we?” “I don’t remember. I think we were talking about my family? All you really need to know is that they’re a bunch of grumps when I’m not there throwing parties.” “Really? That’s all?” “You’ll know what I mean when we get there. Speaking of which…” Pinkie paused for a second, as if waiting for someone else to speak their line. Twilight looked around, but didn’t see anyone. “Pinkie, what are you-” “Now arriving in Last Ditch Effort! Everyone for Last Ditch Effort, get your things!” the conductor called out from the hallway. “See? Tesseract Effect! Now come on, let’s go!” Pinkie bounded up and out of the train car. Twilight just rolled her eyes and followed after her.