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// LET'S DO THE TIME WARP (AGAIN)! 
// Story: 113 Extremely Short, Incredibly Horrible, & Shamelessly Bizarre Slashfics, Plus 1 That's Just Plain Insane, Not to Mention a Character Uprising, a Bomb Threat, a Few Optional Stable Time Loops, a Foalnapping, & Additionally Saving the World 
// by Super Trampoline 
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	Acting as the audience surrogate, Twist  spoke up before Twilight could continue taking roll. "Yo Twilight, I’m really happy for your thoroughneth; Imma let you finith, but thith roll call story arc’th getting really tediouth. Maybe we thould jump ahead to the acthual discuthion, don’t chu think?"

Rather than be upset, Twilight paused to ponder thith this problem, and after a few moments nodded her head in agreement. "You’re right Twist. This fashion’s arc’s getting old. The time has come to welcome an actual open discussion about how to deal with this shipping menace. Hmmm… I know! I’ll use my awesome alicorn awesomeness to build a time warp!" she announced more than a little loudly.

Twist clopped heartily in approval. "That thoundth like a great idea! You’re my favoriteth princeth!"

Twilight smiled genuinely. "Thank you Twist. I’ll remember you when I take over the world. Now stand back everypony, it’s about to get all magicky up in this joint! Neeeiiighh!" She actually neighed in excitement.

Her horn began to glow, and weird atmospheric distortions appeared in front of her. The air turned an ugly brownish teal color, and the distinct smell of fish was noted. The master magician channeled more and more power into the spell, and her eyes got all freaky and her mane all messy, and she rose into the air as the stereotypical wind that always seems to accompany powerful manifestations of magic swirled around her, throwing lose papers and pastries into a wild and fevered dance. The focal point of the casting crackled and shimmered, and as the spell reached its apex and Twilight’s power surged, she cried out in a voice like that of one possessed by a thousand demons: “DEUS EX SPARKLECUS!”

There was a thunderous explosion, and when the dust settled and the terrified ponies dared to reopen their eyes, they found before them an ecstatic Twilight dancing and hopping around a vortex to the future about a celeste in spherical diameter. “It worked! It worked! It worked!” she shouted with childlike joy.

After several minutes of this, Twilight calmed down and resumed her stately awkward princess demeanor. “So, what this means is that those of you I've already noted as “here” may now step into this time warp of sorts and into the future when I have completed roll call and group discussion is set to begin. Any volunteers want to test it out?”

Immediately a crowd of ponies and other sapient beings rushed the stage, hoping desperately to escape the increasingly crazed Twilight. Within a few minutes, the room had about two-score less people in it. One particular pony wasn’t very happy about this development.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie Lulamoon is flabbergasted that there are ponies who wouldn’t want to hear her Great and Powerful name called by her frienemy Twilight Dorkle!" 

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Trixie, give it up already. You’re a washed up has-been. I won’t lay on the smack too hard, but suffice it to say that nopony but Sethisto cares about you. Just step through the damn portal already and get out of my life for the next ten minutes.”

Trixie harrumphed. “Fine. You may have bested Trixie this time, but the battle is far from over, Sparkle. But!” she exclaimed, changing to a less antagonizing and douchey voice, “Speaking strictly as a fellow professional prestidigitator and not at all as a mortal frienemy, I, err, I mean Trixie must confess her enthusiastic admiration for that most excellent time spell you performed. Though she must question, how did you know when to send it to?”

Twilight blushed sheepishly.  “Uh, well, I didn’t. I left the wormhole destination undefined. So until I anchor it on the other side ten to fifteen minutes from now, or whenever I’m done with roll call, everyone and thing that enters the rift is trapped in the trans-dimensional nothingness of space-time--a void of unbeing, if you will.”

Trixie nodded her head and made a face, as if nonverbally saying "not bad." "Huh. Sounds very Neightzsche-esque, this temporary nil state you speak of."

"Yeah, I suppose it is," Twilight concurred, “but without the syphilis, insanity, or questionable ultranationalism.”

Something clicked, and Trixie’s façade went back up: "Well, whatever is on the other side of that vortex thingie, I sure bet it beats this lame scene. The Great and Powerful Trixie is out. Later foos." And with that the showmare haughtily sauntered into the unfinished chronological shortcut.

Twilight watched her disappear with a shrug. “So, uh, how are you today, Wheel?”