//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: The Conversion Bureau: Simple Mistake // by Avery Quillfeather //------------------------------// Cyrus just stared at the pillow. Worse than anything he had ever encountered before. It was as if this pillow had decided to be a bane on his existence. It was stuck on what Cyrus believed to be his horn. ‘My horn...as in part of me.’ He struggled with the pillow, rolling on the floor to try and get a better angle to get it dislodged from his forehead. He tried to lay his head on his bed and hold one of the corners and try and back up slowly only to have the offending pillow slide back down the horn once he removed his hoof. “Augh, forget it.” He said out loud only to shove a hoof in his mouth. ‘I can’t stand the sound of my own voice.’ He found himself moving towards his kitchen, and he looked up at his fridge when he realized something. “How am I supposed to open that with hooves? Wait, if I can’t even get the fridge open...how do I get the front door open? How will I survive? Am I going to starve in my own apartment? What about my neighbors? How will they react when the police open my room after weeks of not hearing from me and find my body just laying on the floor emaciated and rotting?” Cyrus stomped around for a bit, the pillow bouncing in time, as if to mock him. He glanced up at the white pillow and glared angrily. “I will end you and all you love.” He said when he heard something he was unaccustomed to, Knocking at his front door. “ Oh man...” He moaned loudly. “Who could that be, I didn’t order anything off of the holo-net, I haven’t broken any la-” He stopped to stare at the vial that was rolling around on his floor. He quickly walked over to the vial and give it a swift kick, knocking it under his bed. He then walked quietly to his front door, and realized he wasn’t tall enough even if he stood on his hind-legs to be able to see through the peep-hole. He heard knocking again, and he quickly ran to his bed and jumped under the covers, so only the demonic pillow was left above the top of the covers. “C-Come in.” He heard his door-knob turning and someone walking into his apartment. “Uh, it is Sandra, your neighbor from down the hall, uh my shift just ended and you left the cafe before getting your change. I made a mistake, it was a simple mistake really, The water and sandwich was only supposed to be six dollars, not seven so I came to give the other dollar back.” He heard her say, slightly muffled by the sound of the blanket draped over him. “J-Just l-leave it in the glass bowl near the door. No need to come all they way inside.” He said hearing her respond with a quick okay and the rustling of change in the glass dish he kept at the front of his apartment for when he had loose change. Oh how he despised the sound of loose coins jingling about. He heard her beginning to leave only to hear a new sound. the sound of clanking metal, and hooves on hardwood floors. He heard talking in the same language that had permeated his trippish dream earlier. He heard the sound of his neighbor saying something to whoever was trying to enter his apartment but it was muffled and undecipherable. He heard laughter followed by foot and hoof-steps going in opposite directions. He sat cowering, expecting to be dragged off in hand-cuffs or shot. His mind was racing through a thousand and one different scenarios of what could be waiting for him on the other side of the thin blanket he was using to cover himself. He heard someone ‘or somepony’ he thought clear their throat, the without warning the sheet was lifted off of the bed, revealing the cream pony with a pillow attached to their forehead. Cyrus looked up afraid, not sure of what exactly was standing in front of him. ‘Another Pegicornicus?’ He found himself shivering looking at the two guards that stood at her side, dark gray haired ponies in black armour with what Cyrus assumed was non-functional black-bat wings arched at their sides. ‘Ah! The other one did mention that her sister would be there to ‘guide’ me.’ === She stood taller than her guards, her hair was a flowing black and blue mass of stars and celestial bodies. The horn on her head sprung to life and she gently touched it to the scared pony’s forehead. She smiled gently as the cream colored pony opened a single bright blue eye, the other eye was covered by a hoof. “Do not fear, I am sure thy will remain whole and unharmed under my watch and my watch-stallions' watch.” Luna said to the scared mare. Her wings stood out proudly “we will be taking you shortly to Canterlot, away from these humans, who as of right now would wish you ill-will.” Luna watched as the pony rolled off the bed. “I-I Uh...” Luna noticed that the pillow from her bed was impaled on the mare’s horn. “I don’t want to leave. This apartment has been my home for the last ten years.” She said looking up at her, the pillow flopping in front of her face, causing her to stick a hoof out and lift it so she could get a glance at Luna. “Oh? I spend an hour preparing a teleport spell strong enough to get us and my guards through the barrier and you would rather ‘stay here’?” Luna questioned looking down at the mare who at this point was cowering, using the pillow as a poor form of cover. “FOR THIS I REQUIRE THE ROYAL VOICE. FILLY, YOU WILL RETURN WITH US TO CANTERLOT AND EXPLAIN YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES TO MY SISTER.” === Cyrus was a common man, he had grown up in a nice neighborhood, with nice neighbors, and it was all around easily described as nice. He graduated from college and worked a few years before AI took over. Horses were no longer a living species on earth. However he knew that words, a word that this mythical being just screamed at him, and it echoed around his mind. ‘Filly. She just called you a filly. Cyrus, you dolt, how could you not realize something was that badly off...’ Cyrus sat dumb-founded on his apartment’s cold hardwood floor. The universe itself seemed to be slapping him on the back leaving a ‘kick me’ sign. He watched from under the pillow as she continued to scream. He paid no attention and stood up and began walking away listening to her raise her voice even louder. ‘I don’t think that was even possible.’ He walked into his bathroom, hooves clacking on the chipped and well-worn tiles. He stood on his back legs and looked into the mirror, aside from a face-full of pillow he noticed things he already knew, like the fact he was cream coloured, and now had two pair of hooves. Then an idea formed in Cyrus’ head, he was surprised that it had taken him that long to figure it out. He shook his head from side to side launching the pillow across the bathroom into the bathtub with a soft thump. He turned his head to look in the mirror and quickly wished that he hadn’t shaken the pillow off his head. The mirror reflected Cyrus’ face. The face of a cream-coated mare with a cocoa colored mane. Her eyes stared back, large round bright sky blue eyes. ‘With girly eyelashes’ he thought before he turned to see a pair very angry guards staring down at him. Cyrus’ ears folded down, He knew the princess had spoken the truth. He was obviously lacking in a very important piece of anatomy that had identified him as a human male, and its lack of presence was bothering. He also knew that there were two angry faced guards staring down at him in his own home. “Ma’am, Princess Luna requests that you don’t walk away while she is speaking to you.” One of the guards said, his wings flared out intimidatingly as he tried to walk around the scared Cyrus. “We will take you back to Her Highness and allow you to voice any complaints. She has calmed down significantly and is willing to listen reasonably.” === Cyrus sat on his bed, feeling odd as his new legs were bent in ways he wasn’t used to as a human. Princess Luna just stood in front of him, her mouth hanging open, and her guards looked equally shocked. After a while of silence She cleared her throat and spoke. “I-I guess then you have your mind set on staying here?” Cyrus found himself nodding, staying quiet as the guards shuffled from hoof to hoof. “We would recommend that if you truly wish to remain here that you at least spend some time in Equestria learning etiquette, and necessary skills that you would find beneficial.” One of them said. “It will be hard for you to manipulate objects that were designed for humans, doors and most electronics will be a task to get to work right.” The guard said glancing over at the Mind-set. “Now ma’am, excuse us.” The other guard said walking behind the Princess and her front guard. Cyrus heard the front door of the apartment close. It finally sunk in, everything said over the evening. Cyrus was female, living on her own, and was tired. She crawled under her bed covers and was quickly asleep despite being yelled at by a Monarch, yelling back at a Monarch, and being told she could keep her home despite all other warnings. === Cyrus woke up early, to the sound of ambulances and police sirens. She pulled herself out of bed and walked over to her front door, and stared her new nemesis in the face. The all terrifying and horrid door-nob of doom. She fiddled with it for a few minutes before finally getting it open, allowing her to look out into the hallway. Paramedics, and EMS moved by quickly toting a man in a lab-coat covered in burns. He paid no attention to those surrounding him, and only stared at something invisible floating above him. “Shut up. I made ONE mistake, ONE!” He yelled after the paramedics commented on his now ruined hand. Behind the paramedics stood a balding, fat and otherwise angry looking man. That man was none other than Frank, the landlord. “Looks like ya finally got a nickname, We can all just call ya Stubs from now on.”  Frank said before pulling out a cigar from his sweat-pants pocket, and laughing as he went back into his office at the end of the hallway. “I hope I don’t have to sign anything about how he hurt himself on my property considering it ain’t none of my fault.” Cyrus felt terrible, seeing her neighbor being carted away in such a terrible condition, missing parts of his left hand and burnt badly. She wished sincerely from the bottom of her heart that she could have done something but found that no matter what she thought of she was almost useless. Hooves put a major damper on attempt to apply bandages, and the fact that the EMS were already taking care of the man. A woman walked into the hallway, a young boy clinging to her leg. “Momma, Why are they taking Mr.Calico away?” He asked looking innocently at the man being carted away by the paramedics. “Because he made a mistake with a project he is working on.” The woman said. “Now get back inside. Frank doesn’t like children out in the hallway during business hours...Also his last name is Kaifka dear.” The woman said as she stepped back into her apartment with her son. After a few moments the sounds of sirens receded, the hallways cleared, and everyone else went on with their lives. Cyrus pushed her way out into the now empty hallway, she felt almost afraid for no reason, she felt like she was being watched. She walked slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible for no reason beyond the fact that she felt like she was being observed. She walked through the front door, glad that Frank had opted for the lazy-man’s doors,  automated doors. She walked slowly down the street catching odd glances from people as she walked. Before long she walked into the ‘Top-hat and Monocle.’ She noticed immediately that she was getting neutral stares from the other patrons. Sandra walked out to the sound of the bell and came face to face with the now pony Cyrus. She stared for a good three seconds. ‘Dear God, SO ADORABLE!’ she thought staring at Cyrus. She watched the small pony stared at the seat nearly twice as tall as cyrus was. Sandra almost couldn’t handle the adorable.  “Welcome to the Top-hat and Monocle. I am Sandra and may I help you get seated?” Cyrus looked up at her. She saw Sandra’s giant grin and couldn’t help smile back. “Yes please.” Sandra stopped, clutched at her heart and just smiled even bigger. ‘How on god’s not-so-green earth did something so adorable exist without me even knowing about it?’ she thought to herself as she ushered Cyrus over to a booth.  She watched as the pony just stared at the booth’s seats for a few seconds and did her best to try and climb onto it. ‘M-My heart is full of D’awww, and I am not sure why.’  Sandra thought as Cyrus finally managed to get up into the booth. “I will give you this...” She said laying down a menu, “ and I will be right back.” She said running to the kitchen. She began working on orders when she heard something that she hadn’t heard in a long time. Silence. She walked back out into the cafe area and glanced at the patrons. Most of them had their eyes locked on the television screen. Sandra found herself staring at the three-vee as well. ‘A unicorn/pegasus/ thing... is standing at the presidential podium.’ She stared agape as she looked at her. She was majestic, she was regal, and she was TALKING. “People of Earth. I am Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, and I am here to inform you about the ‘Walls’ that you are calling them. They are actually dimensional rifts opened up by a very malicious spirit of chaos as his one last Hurrah before being sealed in stone by my faithful student and her friends.” Princess Celestia said. The Three-vee cut back to two news anchors. “The Walls have been steadily growing, very slowly, we project that they will make land-fall in a few years. We have also determined that the walls are in fact radiating energy unlike any we have ever known.” The male anchor said looking at his female co-anchor. “When asked about the energy being given off by the wall, one of the diplomats brought along by the Princess had this to say.” The woman said before the screen cut back to a purple unicorn standing at the same podium, a worried and concerned expression on her face. “The ‘Walls’ are giving off what you would call ‘Magic’ an energy that apparently is lethal to your kind, I have heard the stories of those that tried to get close to the walls. I would like to extend my apologise and condolences to the families.” She said as tears budded at the corner of her eyes. The screen again was back to the news anchors. “That was Twilight Sparkle, Diplomat, adorable unicorn, and Kind hearted pony.” The female anchor said “The Diplomats also had this to say, on the topics of the growing walls and Magical energies.” The screen again revealed a pony standing at the presidential podium, she had an orange coat, and was wearing a cow-boy hat. “Now Ah know some of y’all might be scared about the walls, but don’t be. We ponies are goin’ to be openin’ Conversion Bureaus. Buildin’ specifically manned with trained doctors and unicorns using a mixture of nanites and magic to transform humans into ponies so that you can live among us and not worry about the walls, seein’ that pony-kind ain’t affected by magic considerin’ that a third of us use it on a daily basis.” Sandra wasn’t entirely sure about what she just heard, walls, talking ponies, conversion bureaus, and magic. None of it made any sense to her, but she noticed the little unicorn at the booth fumbling with the menu. She laughed to herself and walked over. “Do you need help?” She asked “Ah, I, no.” Cyrus said looking at the menu. “I want a sandwich and water.” She said, she could feel her ears flattening as she tried to hide herself away from the Waitress. ‘Oh it is her...I really really hope she doesn’t realize who I am.’ “Okay, I will be back shortly.” She said running back into the kitchen, leaving Cyrus alone in a room full of people all on edge after that news broadcast. Now matter where Cyrus looked she was met with angry glares or happy stares, and before she could stop herself that nasty habit started up again. “One of them. Trying to take over no doubt.” “The fuck did that orange one mean when it said ‘Conversion Bureau’?” “I heard that there is an apartment nearby filled with people against these ponies. Calling themselves Human Liberators.” “I think it is kind of cute. If you can get past the fact that their race is trying to steal our world.” “I, for one, Welcome our new Pony Overlords.” Sandra walked up with a larger glass of water than usual and a sandwich on a plate. She took the time to unwrap the sandwich. “I specially made it, I have a feeling that you don’t eat meat.” She said throwing the plastic wrap in the trash-bin as she walked by over to the cash register. “When you are done feel free to just leave the money on the table and leave.” Cyrus just stared at the taller-than-usual glass of water and sandwich devoid of meat. ‘Why is it now that I am some sort of extra-dimensional creature that she can give me extra water and a specially made sandwich?’ Cyrus thought before attempt to eat the sandwich with her hooves, she fumbled, squished and generally flattened the poor sandwich. The entire time while she was doing this the other patrons watched, half expecting her to grow tentacles or extra eyes. “I rescind what I said, it is just plain adorable.” “Human Liberators you said? What building?” “I hope it didn’t notice, but I took a picture with my micro-phone.” “Even after you explaining it I don’t understand, WHAT IS A CONVERSION BUREAU?” Cyrus eventually shoveled the squished remains of the sandwich into her mouth. Now a new daunting task awaited her. Drinking her water. Using her hooves she managed to actually grasp the glass, even without fingers. She drank slowly, enjoying the fact that she was able to drink the water like a normal, dignified being. After the ordeal named lunch was over Cyrus realized a major oversight.  She had no way to pay for her lunch, at least not without leaving the building and returning to her apartment to grab her wallet. She hopped off the booth bench and walked over to the cash register. “Uh, I forgot my money at home, but I have my bank number ready if you are willing to type it in for me.” Cyrus said to the young woman running the cash register. The girl looked down at Cyrus, and shurgged. “Whatever.” Cyrus quickly spat out a string of numbers and watched as the girl lazily punched them into the cash register she was working. “Done. Cyrus J. Freed was billed for Six dol...You aren’t Cyrus.” The girl said flatly. “That dork comes in here once a week and you don’t look a thing like Cyrus.” “I-I uh....” ===