"Pinkie we need to talk."
"About?"
"There's something that I need to tell you, but I just... Can we step inside first? I don't want to make a scene outside."
We stepped inside and went to the living room. I sat on the couch and Neon on a chair at the opposite end of the room. Pinkie sat down beside me, handing me my little brother who had the biggest smile on his face. I ran my hoof through his mane a few times and kissed his forehead.
"So what did you want to talk about?"
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves for what was about to happen next. "Pinkie, while I was away, I...I..."
"You what?" Pinkie said, looking at me with concern.
I stared at her, fear filling every inch of my heart. How can I tell her? She was too innocent, and I betrayed her. What kind of a mare am I?
I stood up from where I was sitting, gave Boombox back to Pinkie and ran out of the house. I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I couldn't bring myself to hurt her like this. I love her too much to tell her. My mind was clouded with fear, fear of losing the one I love the most, fear that the truth will rip us apart, and fear that the lies will consume me.
I found my self huddling under a tree in the Ever Free Forest, letting the tears flood the ground as they fell from my face.
You're pathetic, running from your fears when you should be facing them.
How can I? I don't want to lose her forever.
So you'd rather lose yourself in the lies?
The lies are what's keeping me safe.
Safe? Your lies are eating away at you from the inside, and you think you are safe? You're only hurting yourself if you let this continue.
B-but...
NO BUTS! You need to get it together and go tell her the truth. Because if you don't, you WILL lose her forever.
Just then I felt something grab my shoulder, causing me to jump. I turned to see who or what it was. Pinkie was standing behind me, looking at me with concern.
"Are you alright?" she asked, her sweet voice only bringing me more pain.
"Pinkie, I-I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I'm sorry about all the lies. I should have told you sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt you."
"Tell me what?"
"I never thought that I could do something so terrible. But, I was too caught up in it all to even think about it."
"Whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm here for you, and I always will be," her kind words were enough to send the sword into my heart.
I couldn't respond. There was nothing that I could say that wouldn't hurt her. The tears began to drown me in my suffering, bringing on pain that I never wanted to have. I couldn't run from it anymore, it took a hold of me and it wasn't about to let go.
I stood up once more, grabbing Pinkie, holding her close so I wouldn't lose her. She put her hooves around me, stroking my mane a few times to let me know she was still there. My tears fell on her shoulder, turning her coat a darker pink. My gasps rocking my body. I felt Pinkie's lips touch my wet cheek as she tried to comfort me.
I broke our hold and wiped the tears from my face, "Pinkie, I'm sorry. I have to tell you now, or else it'll be too late." My gaze cast down to the ground, the words choking me as they came out of my mouth, "I cheated on you!"
There it was, out in the open. My breathing was heavy, the world was still, and the silence was never ending. I could her a faint gasp coming from Pinkie, and I knew it was her time to cry. I looked up at her, her body rocking from small gasps, tears making their way to her eyes. I could feel the pain welling up inside of me.
"Y-You..."
The only thing I could do was cast my gaze back to the ground. I couldn't even face her like this.
"How? After everything that we've been through."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
She fell to the ground, tears streaming down her face. I sat next to her and put my hoof around her, only to have her push it away. I don't blame her for being mad at me. I know how it feels to be hurt by somepony you love. I just sat there with her as she cried, waiting for for her to stop.
"I'm sorry Pinkie. I truly am."
She just shook her head.
"I understand how you feel."
"N-N-No...y-you...d-don't"
"I do, I've been where you are."
"Y-You don't kn-know w-what it's like t-to h-have your heart sh-shattered by s-s-somepony."
I jumped up from the ground, anger replacing my reason, "You think I don't know what it's like? I've had to grow up without even having a mother to care for me. I lived on the streets, selling myself to random stallions to make sure that me and my brother had everything we needed to keep going. And you think I don't know how you feel?"
I stood there in shock. I just shouted at her. Her small sobs began to turn themselves into full blown cries, cries of fear, and pain.
I sat back down, turning my gaze away from her, "I'm sorry."
"J-Just go."
I took a deep breath and got up from the ground. I began to walk away, turning back to get one last look at the one I loved most. With a tear in my eye, I left her there.
I got back to Sugar Cube Corner an hour later. Neon was standing outside waiting for me.
"Did you tell her?"
I nodded, not even bringing myself to look into his eyes.
"I know it hurts. But, it was either that, or keep lying to her and hurting her worse."
I kept my gaze at the ground, tears filling my eyes yet again, staining my face as they fell.
Neon walked over to me, I pushed him away, not wanting to have anything more to do with anything. "I know you feel bad right now, but trust me, you did the right thing."
Neon and I left for the train station an hour after Pinkie got home. I didn't want to be there as a reminder of the pain I caused her. The walk was slow and painful, the sun setting over the horizon making things more gloomy.
When we made it to the station, I stopped walking, letting Neon keep going until he noticed that I wasn't next to him anymore.
He turned and stared at me, concern filling his eyes, "What's wrong?"
"I think you should go back by yourself."
"You've already tried to comfort her. There's nothing more you can do."
"That's not it."
"Then what is it?"
"It's just something I have to handle on my own."
"Whatever it is you can tell me."
"I can't tell you, you're not a part of this. This is my story and you're not a part of it."
He face turned from concern to shock, "So, the Vinyl I know is long gone. Fine, I see how it is."
He turned away and went on without me. I stood there, watching the train leave without it's last passenger.
Once it was gone, I walked to the ticket counter, placing 150 bits in the counter and made my demand, "Manehatten, one way."