//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Life of a DJ 
// by XyroX 
//------------------------------//

Hey, diary.

Here we are again. It's 3:30am by now, and again I can't sleep. What's going on? Since days I wasn't able to fall asleep at a proper time , I'm always awake till almost 6 or 7am. Again, it's not that I'm not tired, I just can't sleep. I don't know. I wake up at the same time as always, I just fall asleep a lot later. Of course, this time usually isn't a big deal for me as I'm often still in the club, spinning records, but when I'm at home like the last few days I usually don't stay awake this long. In a few days I'll have to work again, maybe my sleep will normalize then. And what do I do all the hours I'm lying in my bed, trying to finally fall asleep? Thinking. I never thought I could be that kind of pony, but the past days, actually since the happenings in the bunker, I'm much more thoughtful than ever before. Most of the time I just think about all the stuff I already reported to you, but then there are others things, too. Octy, for example. We spent a lot of time together since we're a couple, of course, but I slowly get the feeling that our relationship is different from any relationship I ever had by now. Not in the bad way, I mean that as a good thing. Octy is the first pony of which I really start to think of not just as my marefriend, but as... more. Of course it's way too early to propose to her or something like that, but I catch myself sometimes imagining how we could be a real little family. Isn't that just... weird?

What's wrong with me? When did I evolve to the emotional pony I seem to be at the moment? I'm DJ-P0n3, I'm awesome, loud, cool and I don't show my feelings to anypony! Well, I used to be. Somehow I start to be somepony else... maybe I start to be actually me? I hid behind my DJ image so long, I think I just forgot about how to be Vinyl Scratch. And Octy is able to show me how to be myself again, how to break through the wall I built up inside my mind and how to get my real me back to the surface. Seeing this written down is weird, I start feeling like I'm schizophrenic. But even if I am, so what? Octy seems to be the 'cure' for it, and I don't plan to leave her, so I'll be alright. Yeah, planning to leave her is like the least thing to do for me. I mean, I just admitted I think about us as a real family. 

Coming back to his thought, is this even possible? In my opinion, a family consists of two certain things: A married couple, no matter which genders the two ponies have, and a son or a daughter. And these are two things I'm not sure about how our chances are to accomplish them. Are same-sex marriages allowed in Equestria? I never heard about an actual married couple of mares or colts. Of course, I know a few mares and colts being in same-sex relationships, but I never heard someone say 'Hey we're going to marry, wanna join the celebration?' And even if they're legal, would we find somepony to wed us? I don't know anypony who could do this, but I heard that a lot of them are quite uptight and bourgeois. What if we'd be the first couple to take this step? Would we get the honor of Celestia herself wedding us as a shout-out that our style of living is alright and nopony should be offended by it? Man, that would be awesome. 

And again, I can't recognize myself in these words. That's so kitschy, talking about a wedding and stuff! It's stuff I would expect Octy to say. But it's not her, it's me. How is this possible? Anyway, first I'll come to the next point of the family thing: Having a foal. I know, for us it's not possible to have children together, I'm totally aware of that. But there are things such as adoption. I'm not sure how we could be able to do that. After all, who'd give an infant pony to a lesbian couple? Most of the ponies are just to intolerant and think of us as weird and deviant. Of course we're different, but why is it so common to think that different is the same thing as strange? Who said that homosexual couples are a bad influence to a young pony? I won't say every fillyfooler and every coltcuddler is a nice and trustworthy pony, but neither is every straight one. In every group there are nice and less nice ponies, you can't just pick one bad apple and project his attitude on every other pony in this group. 

I think that's not just restricted to ponies, though. For example, everypony, and I mean like everypony, thinks of changelings as bad and evil. I don't. I'm sure there are nice changelings out there, who just don't have any other choice than doing what they do. After all, they need to suck love out of ponies to survive, and so they need to copy ponies to get near others and devour their love. But that doesn't make them evil. They just do what they need to do to stay alive. Of course, the attack on Canterlot was a big thing, but after all Queen Chrysalis just wanted to make sure her subjects won't starve. I won't make her a victim now, she definitely is evil, not because of being the queen of the changelings, but because of the level she put their behavior. This wasn't staying alive, this was war. But not every changeling is like their queen, not even every changeling who fought in Canterlot. It's like in every war. Neither you like your commands or not, you have to try to fulfill the task your leader has set. So the changelings attacked Canterlot, though I'm sure many of them actually didn't want to. 

But even if all of them did, we can't infer on every changeling in existence because of this. The changelings in Canterlot were soldiers, but I don't think every changeling is a soldier. I refuse to think that there aren't any changelings just like us, living a life similar to ours. I'm sure there are changelings out there who hate to fight who'd never hurt any of their congeners or even a pony, at least not more than they have to stay alive. I believe there is good in every creature, no matter what kind of. 

Oh man, where are my thoughts going? I started with marriage and now I'm here, talking about the good and evil inside changelings. I definitely should go to sleep.