CHAPTER 40
ASH'S CARETAKER
"Twilight?" Fluttershy asked emerging from the kitchen. "You don't look so good; is everything alright?"
"Uh..." Twilight quickly turned around a little nervously. "I'm uh...fine." She didn't look too fine. "Look Fluttershy, you don't have to worry about Ash. Psych can take care of him while he's here."
"Huh?" Fluttershy asked wondering where that came from. "Well, I'm glad his brother's here to keep him company. Ash could use somepony like him now."
"Right...Somepony like him..." Twilight replied shifting her weight from side to side.
Something was definitely wrong. "Twilight?"
"Fluttershy just...Just be careful around him OK?" Twilight said trotting away. Fluttershy raised a hoof, but her friend had already left the cottage. Alone, she turned her head upstairs towards her room where Psych was most likely tending to Ash. For a pony who knew hot to treat his brother so lovingly, he sure was scary. Maybe that was why Twilight told her not to talk to him.
Then again, she had to go up eventually, and she decided to check up on them just then. She headed upstairs and gently opened the door immediately drawing the attention of the colts inside. "Um...Is everything alright in here?"
Both pairs of eyes were on her. "Um..." Ash slowly pushed his fruit bowl away from him. A quickly glance told her that it was empty.
"Oh good; you've finished it." She entered the room and headed for the bed. Through the corner of her eye, she noticed Psych gaze on her the entire time. He looked like he was...studying her? Whatever he was doing, it was unnerving her. "I'll just um...get this now..."Dark rose eyes burrowing into her, she grabbed the bowl with her teeth and quickly left the room. Even from the safety of being behind the door, she could feel Psych's gaze on her. Indeed, while Ash sighed and laid against his pillow, Psych was gazing at the closed door thinking intently about her.
When he had flashed her that sinister smile earlier, she was frightened by the glee in his eyes. That gaze...it told her that he would do unspeakable things to her just for his own amusement. But those same eyes had just shown mercy and kindness once they were turned on Ash. She had never met a pony who changed expressions just as suddenly as he did before.
Maybe it would be better if she just avoided him...
"She certainly does lack backbone." Psych commented once Fluttershy left . "I totally lost count of how many um's or er's or any other variations of the sound while she was talking."
Ash's gaze turned away from him. "But she has her strong moments..." he replied quietly.
"Hmm, indeed. She may be a pansy, but she has some inner strength of her own." Psych said remembering all those friendship reports about her. "But even the mightiest of ponies have their vulnerabilities."
The pegasus looked towards his brother and noticed the malicious grin on his face, no doubt imagining just how to properly torment the shy pegasus mare. "You're really going to hurt her?" he asked.
"Well, not now, but soon." Psych answered. "A pony like her doesn't stand a chance against me."
At that, Psych started laughing in that same evil manner. Already, Ash's mind started forming images of Fluttershy, images of her sobbing and screaming as Psych looked on laughing heartlessly, of her thrashing about in agony of the unspeakable things being done to her, of her voice soft and hoarse quietly begging for death..."Ash? Is everything alright?"
Said colt as as stiff as a board, his eyes wide and his frame shaking. His breaths were slow and heavy, and his thoughts were erratic. With a growl, he clutched his head and shook a little more violently, but the images just wouldn't go away.
Why do I care? I don't care about her. He clutched his head tighter and gritted his teeth. I don't care...Don't care...Don't care...Don't care...Don't care...Don't care...
"Ash?" came a much softer, kinder voice. "I-I heard you growling and got worried. Are you OK?"
Slowly, his eyes opened and instantly met a pair of softer, concerned cyan ones. Just as instantly, his agitated mind calmed down. His breaths grew steady and his trembling ceased. Seeing her unharmed and untouched by Psych strangely brought a sense of relief.
This didn't go unnoticed by Psych who raised an eyebrow. "Is he in pain? Are his bruises acting up?" Fluttershy asked him.
"N-No." Psych answered knowing that Ash's pain wasn't physical at all.
"Oh...Hang on a moment." Fluttershy lifted Ash's foreleg and ran a hoof over a slightly darker patch causing Ash to wince a little. "Sorry...Did that hurt a lot?" Ash nodded. "Your bruises are still in the middle of healing. Just give me a moment."
She fluttered away and quickly returned with a bowl of some dark green paste that smelled moldy. "What is that?" Psych asked plugging his nose with one hoof and wafting the air with the other.
"It's a herbal ointment I made. Ash needs a new layer on him." Fluttershy scooped up a small dollop of the paste and applied it to a bruise on Ash's foreleg, gently rubbing in small circles. Ash inhaled deeply the second she held his foreleg but remained silent as she slowly treated his bruises. As she moved onto another one higher up on his arm, Psych watched the scene intently. Fluttershy was far too busy with her treatment to notice how Ash was reacting to it. His entire body had strangely stiffened; his mouth would give an occasional twitch as if something was troubling him.
He felt heart was pounding and also a strange calm along with it. Gritting his teeth a little and closing his eyes tightly, he forced the feelings away. Every time he did, they suddenly came back, angering him even more. He couldn't feel these things, not towards her, not towards anypony. It was impossible.
"There. All done with you forelegs." Fluttershy said giving him a kind smile. She then fidgeted a little. "Now um...now for your um...body..."
Ash's eyes widened, but he didn't protest as he scooted up and lifted the blanket away exposing his slightly bruises belly to her. She scooped up another dollop of ointment and gulped as she climbed on top of him. Ash saw her cheeks flush as she extended he hooves and gently laid them on Ash's chest
This time, she did notice something odd as his pupils shrunk and quickly withdrew them. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..." she apologized rubbing her hooves shyly.
"N-No. It's OK...I don't mind..." Ash replied almost as quietly.
Now knowing that he was alright with it, Fluttershy pressed her hooves against his chest one again. Cheeks burning up even more, she gently rubbed the ointment in circles all over his chest occasionally dipping down to his stomach. It's even worse now that he's awake. she thought. I've done this lots of times with animals, but never with another pony before...And he's a colt!
Ash wasn't doing so well either. As much as he hated to admit it, her hooves were so soft rubbing gently across his body. Nopony had ever held him so gently as she did before. Every soft brush against an ugly bruise would bring soothing warmth to his chest instead of stinging pain. The warmth however seeped into his face as she went lower. Once again, he forced the feelings back into his mind even as soft yellow hooves brushed over his belly, his chest, his-
"Pfft..."
Both Fluttershy's and Psych's ears perked up at the sound. Eyes wide, Ash let out a few coughs and convinced her that it was just that. Passing off the strange sound, Fluttershy scooped up another dollop of ointment and continued off where she stopped, a spot on opposite sides of Ash's body right around the hip area.
"Guh...Pffft...Ha..."
This time, the other to ponies did notice as he had fidgeted in his place. "Ash? What was that?" Psych asked never having heard him make that sound before.
Fluttershy appeared to have understood more. "Ash, are you...ticklish there?" she asked hesitantly pointing at his hips.
"Wh-what? No it...just hurts..." Ash said panicky.
"You're lying." Psych pointed out.
Dammit. He should've know he'd never get away with it with Psych around. "F...Fine...Maybe a little..." he admitted turning away.
As Psych looked on surprised, Fluttershy held her ointment-covered hooves up. "Um...I still have to get that, so um..."
Ash sighed and nodded. Fluttershy gulped again and pressed a hoof against a bruise on his left hip. "Ngh..." Slowly, she traced a small circle on it. "Grr...Pfft...Ngh..." She repeated the motions with Ash's other hip. "Ahh...Huh...Uh..."
At that point, he was fidgeting slightly fighting desperately not to laugh out loud. He quickly jammed his right hoof into his mouth and bit down on it stiffing his laughter. A little startled, Fluttershy continued rubbing ointment all over his hips all while Ash's body spasmed, his left rear leg twitching, his teeth digging deeper and deeper into his hoof almost to the point of drawing blood.
"Ngh...Mnn...Ahh...Pfft...B...Bwa...Aha..."
"Ahahahahaha!" Ash finally reached his limit. He spat his hoof out allowing several peals of laughter to erupt out of his mouth. As he squirmed around thrashing his legs about, Fluttershy found herself giggling as she dug her hooves into his sides, intensifying his laughing and struggling.
"Ahahaha-St-Stop! Please-Ahahaha-Please!" His tormentor only giggled some more as her tickling intensified. "No more-Ahahahahaha! No more please! Ahahahahahah!"
A whole minute of ticklish agony later, Fluttershy finally pulled away. Ash's laughter slowly diminished until he was just lying eagle spread on the bed chuckling lightly, his stomach aching from all the laughing he did. He was hurting slightly all over, but he couldn't remember feeling so relaxed, so...good. Opening his eyes, the first thing he saw was his brother wide-eyes and slack-jawed completely frozen.
Ash's blood instantly froze, his chuckling stopping. In a second, he grabbed the blanket in his teeth and threw it over himself shutting out the rest of the world. Confused and a little startled by everything, Fluttershy lifted a hoof but stopped upon seeing the shaking going on under the blanket.
"Ash?" The colt under the blanket flinched away at the sound of her voice. She could hear him whimpering pathetically under the sheet. "Ash I...I'm sorry I upset you...I was just trying to..." From underneath the blanket, she saw him shake his head. Her spirits quickly fell, retracting her hoof and frowning. "Never mind." She sadly climbed off her bed and turned to him. "I'll just go...Sorry again..."
All covered up, Ash heard her retreating footsteps followed by the door swinging shut. Shaking and whimpering like a hurt foal, Ash did his best to think of something, anything else, but the mare who had made him feel so safe and comforted was all he could think about.
Downstairs, Fluttershy was pacing around her kitchen feeling guilty for having upset Ash. "Oh, Ash is even worse than I thought Angel." she said to her pet as he sat on the table munching on a carrot. "I'm trying so hard to be nice to him, but all that does is make him even sadder." She stopped and faced him. "I can't keep treating him if he keeps saying he doesn't deserve it; what should I do?"
Putting down his half-eaten carrot, Angel pointed at the door. "Angel, I can't do that." Fluttershy protested.
Angel looked like he was about to suggest something else when he suddenly froze and glared at something over her shoulder. Puzzled, Fluttershy turned around shrieking as she suddenly noticed the pony standing right behind her. "Ps...Psych?"
He blinked twice at her as if he still couldn't believe his eyes. "I...I haven't heard Ash laugh in years." he told her.
"R...Really?" Considering how he was now, that wasn't so surprising to her. Gasping, she suddenly remembered just who she was talking to- a maniac who would torture her without a second thought. "I'm so sorry I upset Ash." she said quickly backing away from him. "I swear I didn't mean to; I just wanted..."
Psych raised his eyebrows and waited. Trembling, Fluttershy cowered before him with no idea how he intended to punish her. Nothing happened for the next half minute after which Psych simply said: "Go on..."
Fluttershy gulped still terrified of the earth pony. "I...Ash is just so..." She struggled for the right word so as to not infuriate Psych.
"Miserable? Angry? Self-destructive?" he suggested.
"Um...Yes..."
Psych's expression softened taking away some of Fluttershy's tension. "You wanted to make him laugh?"
"Y-Yes." Fluttershy found herself more at ease. "Ever since I met him, he's always looked so sad and hurt. And I keep hearing him say horrible things about himself. I guess I just wanted...to make him feel happy...even if it was just for a while..."
Psych just gazed at her, sorrow in his own eyes. "I've spent years watching Ash in pain and blaming himself for everything. All I ever wanted for him is for him to be happy, to let go of his self-loathing and try to live in peace, to turn that hatred, that anger, that loathing to those who hate-"
He suddenly stopped closing his eyes tightly, fighting the rage surging through him. Fluttershy could tell that he had more to say but stopped himself from getting off topic. After half a minute, Psych sighed. "Do you know why I'm not torturing you at the moment?"
She squeaked at the word "torture" and shook her head. "Kindness, for the past few days, I've been tending to Ash, and he's rejected everything I've done for him. But you...You got him to eat, you got him to allow himself to be cared for...you got him to laugh when I've spent years trying to get him to smile..."
"Actually, I wasn't trying to make him laugh at first. I didn't know his hips were ticklish..." Fluttershy admitted shuffling around nervously.
He waved her off. "The point is, Ash needs you right now." Psych told her. "You seem to able reach him in a way I can't. I want him to recover from this, and I believe you're the only pony who can help him do that...And you can't do that being savaged by wounded and sick animals and begging for death can you?"
Beneath the threat, Fluttershy knew that all he wanted was what was best for his brother. He was right; now was a very dark time for Ash. More than anything , he needed ponies who wanted nothing but what was right for him, ponies like herself, ponies like his brother.
"He needs you too Psych." Fluttershy said. "Listen, I'm...I'm really scared of you, but I still want you around. Ash needs his family at a time like this."
Psych nodded in understanding. "It seems like we've come to a truce." He paused for a moment. "But when Ash is well enough to leave." He glared at her threateningly causing her to back up. Satisfied with their talk, he trotted away most likely back upstairs to his brother.
Alone, Fluttershy thought about the hurt, anguishing pony recovering on her bed. When she had first met him, she thought that he was just a plain old mean pony who did mean things for no reason. A few meetings later, she began to see past the mask.
He was in pain and hid that beneath a mask of cruelty. She had no idea where this pain came from, but it looked like he had spent years suffering. He needed more than somepony to heal his body, but also his heart, his soul.
And right now, she was one of the only ponies who could do just that.