//------------------------------// // The battle of the streets // Story: Reign of the shy-pony // by The_Swedish_Horror //------------------------------// The streets of Canterlot were filled with Fluttershy's troops. Ponies everywhere, dressed in various items of military clothing and armed with everything but the kitchen sink. Some of them had seen too many winters and some too few... A young pegasus mare hovered above the ground, shouting commands to her troops. "Hurry up with that barbed wire! No, don't put it all in one place! It needs to reinforce the roadblock... For Flushy's sake!" cried Pizelle, wiping the sweat from her brow. "The defences must hold when the barbarian horde arrives! We must throw back their furious assault, and defend the divine light of civilization against the darkness of obsolete, deranged celestianism! What are you doing, private?!" "I... I'm sorry..." said North Star, who had gotten her dress caught on the bared wire. "I'm not used to putting up barbed wire, you know. Yesterday I was happily at home, minding my own business and today I'm being pressed into service as a soldier! I don't really know what I'm doing... I'm so sorry..." "Is that so, unicorn? Would you rather want to return to you home and hide under your bed? Perhaps your precious silk dress is too exquisite to be worn in the midst of battle?" Pizelle said, slowly closing down on the poor North Star with a joyless smile on her face. "Just try to leave and then we'll see what happens... But I wouldn't recommend it if you value your life. Especially since you were a mare of the royal court and now has a lot to prove if you want to make yourself worthy of our divine ruler's trust." "Oh... I... I didn't mean to..." "No, you didn't. Cut her loose and we'll have no more of this idiocy. I want to see you in the first line of defence when the battle commences and if you try to turn tail, your tail will be turned into a fly swatter! Is that clear?" Two unicorns immediately began cutting away a small piece of her dress with their bayonets, forever making an ugly rift in her most precious possession. "OH NOOOO!!!! What are you doing, you BEASTS!!!!!" a voice suddenly screamed in horror from across the street. They turned around and saw a shocked Rarity, hyperventilating and almost brought to tears by seeing such a crime against fabulosity. "Y-you cut her dress... How could you?!" she stuttered, galloping towards North Star with needle and thread at hoof. "Of all the horrible, dreadful things that has happened lately this is THE... MOST... HORRIBLE... THING!" "This?" asked Pizelle, with a truly baffled expression on her face. "Yes! Do you even know how much work it takes to make such a dress? Griffonian silk is not very cheep these days and... and..." Rarity stopped in her tracks, dropping the needle on the cobblestones. With rising terror she looked at the badly designed and cheaply made uniforms of the ponies around her. Some of them even wore helmets with chicken net on them where small twigs and branches had been put to act as a crude camouflage. "Oh, I think... I think I'm going to faint..." Pizelle rolled her eyes. "Wait a second... Aren't you the minister of finance? What are you doing here?" she said, putting a hoof on Rarity's cheek. "I am?! Now I'm going to double-faint...." * * * At the same time a certain deranged ruler was reclining on her bed, sipping on a bottle of champagne. Princess Fluttershy was celebrating the upcoming demise of Celestia while enjoying herself with the best beverages looted from Celestia's own wine cellar. She was not used to drinking but for once she had decided to emulate the luxurious ways of the Centerlot nobility. She could clearly see why they seemed to enjoy this beverage so much... "At last I will have my triumph! Now I have that pesky Celestia at my mercy! AHAHAHA AHAHAHA!!!" she cried and tried to take another sip from the bottle but in the process got some of the champagne in her eyes and in her snout. "Pppfffhh! Blasted thing... I'll have all the remaining champagne... hic... arrested tomorrow!" With her magic power she threw the half empty bottle away, shattering it against the wall without as much as looking at the mess she created. "Your royal majesty?" chancellor Derpy asked, slowly emerging from behind the curtain. The alicorn had no idea how long she had been standing there... "I... It... it just slipped out of my grip..." said Fluttershy and reached for another bottle. "Oh. A bottle slip! Or maybe a.... battleship? I must think of something clever to say about..." "A battleship? I didn't know we even had those, Derpy..." "But we do have! Otherwise the admiral wouldn't have anything to sail in." "Be that as it may," the ruler said and rose from her bed. She began pacing around in the room, a little unsteady on her hooves but absolutely not drunk, she assured herself. "The enemy is scattered, the princess is in chains and soon Rainbow Dash will arrive with even more troops for my disposal... Soon my power will be... be... very... um... powerful! MWAHAHAHAA!!!! I am about to be invincible... invincibler... more invincible than I was before? Invinciblabla...?" "Invivicectivincible?" "That's the word! Insectivincible! So powerful that all my enemies will look like insects compared to me! Of course, insects are completely adorable, so I will find them very endearing... But they will look very much smaller than me! That's the point I'm trying to make!" Fluttershy tried furiously to open the second bottle, but it slipped her hooves all the time. "All threats seems have been eliminated. But why am I still so... stupid, bucking bottle... Why do I have the feeling that... that something really, really bad will happen to me?" "I know! I know!" Derpy said, eagerly waving her hoof like she was a little filly at school. "Yes, chancellor?" "It's because you have a large, conscripted army sitting idly in the streets, teacher." "Oh... is that a problem? I thought that it would only add to my security?" Derpy shook her yellow mane. "No, no... It is actually quite dangerous," Derpy assured. Fluttershy rolled her eyes. "Haha, don't be ridiculous! Your jokes will always make me smile... my faithful student. You're kidding, right? How could more troops possibly mean less security? Your mathematic doesn't add up!" "What's a mathematic?" "Well, to me, Derpy, mathematic is mostly a confusing Tartarus of tears and F:s... I have never been so... um... I mean I have not very often been so humiliated as in math class... sniff..." Fluttershy sobbed in a complete mood swing worthy of a great ruler. Derpy Hooves gently patted her wing. "I'm so sorry... I'm sure everything will be just fine...," she said. "It will be as soon as... sniff... as soon as I have turned that blasted Celestia into a potato!" * * * The thunder of hooves echoed in the alleys of Canterlot, cloppering away against the cobblestones when a unit of Fluttershy's militia suddenly broke formation and began to gallop towards the city gates. It was the third battalion, also known as the Sparkling Cavalry Elite Battalion. But despite the name there was nothing "elite" about that unit at all; it consisted entirely of conscripts without any military training and only half of them had any weapons. Raven, princess Celestia's former secretary, had been pressed into service among the ranks of this unit and now she fled together with the rest of them. "Stop! Stop this instant!" a voice shouted. The sound was followed by a flash of magic and a thundering bang. In a brief moment Raven saw a white unicorn with a moustache and a blue mane firing his magic in the air. He wore an officer's hat and a monocle. When his horn began to glow for the second time he was jumped by several other ponies. "Run! They're using magic! The officers are using magic against us!" somepony cried. Raven got pushed forward by the panicking crowd. Everywhere there was terrified pony eyes, galloping hooves and pinned ears. Suddenly another pony bumped into her and her glasses fell off, disappearing to be crushed by the trampling horde. "Oh no! My glasses..." she cried, but it was nothing she could do. Somehow she got pushed aside and found herself in an unknown alley. Raven could only see the silhouettes of ponies rushing by, but without her glasses everything was a blurred mess of colours and shadows. In distress she crawled behind a barrel to seek cover. Everything was so confusing and she didn't know where she was anymore... She felt so helpless. For a while she thought she saw a blue, tall shape passing by, but the poor secretary couldn't identify what it was. "Raven, is that thou?" a concerned voice asked. "Let us help... We will bring thou to safety." A hoof was reached out to her and she grabbed it. Meanwhile, but closer to the city wall, the Sparkling Cavalry Elite was being pursued by two other units, the Second Unicorn Battalion and the Seventh Pegasi Volunteers. Magic flashed everywhere and pegasi swept down from above to restore order. In the midst of this chaos was North Star, fighting in the first line of battle armed with a guardspony's spear. She wasn't exactly sure what was happening or whom they were supposed to be fighting against, only that she had to fight bravely or her commanding officer, the ever watchful Pizelle, would punish her severely. A furious blast of magic was seen near the gates themselves, tearing the chains from the windlass and making the drawbridge come down in one, breath-taking motion. It hit the ground like a giant flyswatter with a thundering bang, so powerful that North Star could feel a gust of wind from it. If any unlucky pony had been standing there it would have been smashed to a bloody pulp. But thankfully the drawbridge could only fall outwards and not inwards, so nopony was killed. * * * Spike was not in the mood for more ice-cream. He had an ache in his stomach and felt slightly nauseous. Aimlessly he wandered around in the city, oblivious of the battle that was taking place near the gates. Not even when he heard the distant thunder of the drawbridge hitting the ground he as much as looked up. "I'm so tired of always being left out..." he mumbled, kicking a small pebble across the street. "I just wish I could find a way to help Twilight... I'm so worried about her." "Yeah, Ah know that feeling too, Spike..." a voice suddenly said from behind. Spike turned around. "Applejack?!" The orange earth pony tapped her hat with a smile. "I'm so happy to see you!" Spike cried. "Me too, Spike. Me too," Applejack said as she gave the dragon a hug. "Ah came with the train from Ponyville... Ah've heard all about the stuff that Fluttershy's been doing and Ah don't like it one bit." "I think she has gone mad with power..." "Granny Smith always use to say that you should beware of the nice ponies... They may seem innocent, but they seldom are. Ah always thought she was wrong." "Do you know anything about what Twilight's up to? I haven't seen her in a while and I'm starting to worry," said Spike. "No, Ah haven't... Ah thought you'd know where she was?" Suddenly two completely drunk mares appeared around a corner, heavily laden with suitcases and dressed in sunglasses, head-scarves and trench coats. Their clothes looked like they had been looted from a charity and they reeked of champagne. When they saw Spike and Applejack they almost dropped their bags in panic. "Drat!" one of them whispered, perhaps a little to loud. Applejack tapped her hat. "May Ah help you?" she suggested and reached out a hoof to assist the staggering ponies. "No, it's fine. Absolutely fine! Nothing to worry about here, he he..." one of them said and tried to hide the suitcase behind her back. "But that luggage sure look heavy, you're sure you don't want a helping hoof?" "I'm obsoletely... absolutely sure, positively... eh... sure... hic... that we need no help at all." "Okay, then..." "We're just on a... eh... on our way to a... a very important meeting... at the suitcase and... hic... alcohol exhibition!" the drunk mare explained, shaking her suitcase in front of her. "So there is nothing fishy about these suitcases and..." In the next moment she bumped her suitcase against the other drunk mare and the case burst wide open. A flood of banknotes poured out on the cobblestones. Among the money was a black ski mask and some classified files carrying the stamp of Her Royal Majesty, High Empress Fluttershy. "Oh drat," she said, her ears turning backwards underneath her scarf. "You're burglars! Dang, dirty horse-thieves!" Applejack shouted. A chaotic struggle ensued! Applejack and the drunken pony fought over the stolen money while the other mare threw away her suitcase, spread her wings and took off! But before she could escape Spike got hold of her tail. As he was only a little dragon, he was pulled from the ground and dangled helplessly in the air behind the furiously flapping pegasus. "Get off! Let go of my tail!" she cried and gave Spike a kick, sending him falling to the ground clutching a fistful of blue horsehair. The poor dragon landed on the cobblestones with a thud. When Spike opened his eyes the fight was already over and a triumphant Applejack had tied up the remaining pony with her lasso. She looked very proud and struck a pose. "And that's how we do things in Ponyville! Now let's unmask this bandit!" she exclaimed. She tore away the culprit's sunglasses and head-scarf with a dramatic gesture... "Blossomforth?!" The pegasus gave her an angry, but still drunk, look. "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling ponies... pony and dragon!"