//------------------------------// // 'A Lonely Chance' // Story: Words // by TheIdyllStar //------------------------------// Words 'A Lonely Chance' A singular moment of idiocy had wrecked the previous few days, possibly permanently. It was something he'd done in the past, but he still could never get over how much it hurt. Knowing his own stupidity may have ruined his first real chance for a friend since his days in school. If he did see Words again, he'd have to make it up, do his best to fix the problem he created. Or less his luck run dry and his new friend say enough. Making a pact with himself, he wanted to do whatever it took to make this stallion pleased with him, make him want him around. He was running out of opportunities, in his eyes, he viewed this as one of his last, or possibly the last chance. It was lonesome and had to keep cooing the flame or it may simply fade away if he were not careful. Thus the light of hope for him would die off again and he'd be forced to restart all over. It was a lonely little chance, but he'd take what he could get, and though the odds were low, he'd bet all he had if it meant happiness. Beginning the day kinda feeling okay, Adaptive just went about business as usual. Went out in the morning and tried to find some work, unsuccessfully. Searched around bargain stores for some food, ending up with ramen noodles like usual and headed home. He spent the large majority of the morning keeping his mind off of Words or anything that reminded him of Words. He didn't wanna break down when he was job hunting or going to get something to eat. That would be really embarrassing to him. After cooking his lunch, he cleaned himself up and headed back down to the store, hoping maybe he'd find Words there today. Though he wanted to see him again, he tried to keep his mind occupied on the way there, Adaptive started thinking up little stories. Even deciding he would write one sometime. Arriving at the store, he came in and seen the almost permanent cashier standing behind the counter once again. "Do you ever leave? I see you working here everyday." Giving a small chuckle, he walked over to her. Smiling, he was happy to see her again, like she had now become familiar to him. "I'd like to!!" She laughed a bit as he came over. "But alas, I own this fine establishment," A bit of kind sarcasm rolled of her tongue with the word 'fine'. "and I'm the only employee as well. So, you know, kinda stuck here and all." Adaptive thought for a moment, maybe she'd hire him. He needed the job and by the looks of it, she'd like some free time. "Hey, well, if you ever need any help, I'm available to work for you if you want. I'd like to help. I mean, if you want that is." Nervously waiting to see what she'd say, he looked at her with his best puppy dog eyes he could muster. Thinking for a moment, a smile came across her face. "Actually, yeah, I saw how well you arranged all your magazines you were reading yesterday and it'd be nice to have some time for myself." She smiled at him, right before she looked like remembered something. "Oh, also, did you meet your friend yesterday? He came in just before we closed last night looking for you." "He did?" Adaptive was surprised he'd shown up. 'I should've stayed longer yesterday. I knew he'd show. I just wasn't patient enough.' "I guess I didn't hang around long enough." Turning away from her, Adaptive looked at the door as if to see if Words had walked through or something. "I should probably talk to him sometime today." "Yeah, he said he'd be back tonight sometime. Not exactly sure when, but nevertheless today eventually. Regardless..." She reached down and pulled a form from her drawer of items. "Here, fill this out for me and you can start tomorrow. Though I'll warn you, I can only pay minimum wage since I just opened up. I don't have much extra revenue to spend." "Right, that's okay. It'll be nice to just have a consistent job finally though. Thank you." Grabbing a pen, he began to write his information down on the form for her. It didn't take long before he was done and slid it over to her. Glancing it over, she turned to him. "K, everything looks in order. I'll see you tomorrow at eight alright? I'll teach you everything about this place. If you don't know everything already, hangin' around here day after day." Taking the form and sliding it into a spot under some other forms. "Oh, wait, you're waiting here till your friend arrives anyways aren't you?" "Yeah, if that's okay." Adaptive turned to stare at the door again, hoping his eyes could make the stallion appear. No such luck, but he tried valiantly anyways. Thinking for a second, he really was thirsty. He wanted to run for a bottle of water really quickly. "I think I'll just go get some fresh air actually. Let him know I'll be back in a second if he shows up alright? I'll only be gone a minute." "Oh, okay. I will let him know." Heading out the door, the blue colt headed to the nearest convenience store he knew, a little 'Mom and Pops' type shop just two blocks down. Entering, he found what he wanted, a simple bottle of water and paid. Almost chugging the whole bottle in one go, he threw the barely full container in the nearest recycling bin and took off back to the store. Little under ten minutes had passed before he got back, but Adaptive returned to find his stallion friend at the counter talking to his new employer. They looked like they were amidst a rather involving conversation. Not wanting to interrupt, he quietly placed himself next to the door. A few minutes passed before either noticed his presence. "Oh, hey there he is, we were just talking about you!" His boss turned to him, waving a hoof. "Come over here and talk for a second." Words had turned to him, a gentle smile planted on his face. He had his saddlebags again, but this time they appeared fuller than usual. "You guys were talking about me?" He cautiously stepped over next to his grey unicorn pal, curious as to what they had been discussing about him. 'Maybe they were just talking about me getting hired here. Or maybe he had asked her if she knew what was wrong with him the other night.' Adaptive didn't really want to know now, but he knew he'd find out. "Eh, it was nothing," Words started off, only to be interrupted by the mare across the counter raising a hoof in protest. He shot the clerk a stern look and a bit of a stare before turning back to Adaptive. "I'll tell him later. For now, we've got work to do, you and I." With that, the stallion pulled Adaptive by the neck towards the door. Leading him, the blue colt tried to turn and say goodbye to his new employer, but only managed a quite, 'See ya'' before being taken out of the store, almost roughly. Once outside, Words let go, but kept going, heading in the direction of his apartment once again. "Hey, what was that about?! Just dragging me out of the store like that was kinda rude, so why'd you do it?" Adaptive aggressively caught up to him, trying to not feel weak. He'd just been made someone's possession in front of his employer, and strangely enough, it felt okay. Like, he liked how Words handled him. "Just calm down, I'll explain 'that' once we get back to my place, alright? Be patient." He hadn't turned around, nor had he displayed any real emotion, he merely walked onward. Leading the way. Adaptive admired how he was so direct about everything, it was something he couldn't do. He'd always either shied away, or given any sort of leadership role to someone else. It was something he wasn't particularly proud of, but he couldn't help it. Following along, Adaptive stayed quite till his curiosity got the better of him. They had reached just a few blocks from Words' apartment, but he just had to ask what they had talked about, if only to break the silence that had stayed over them the way there. "So... I know you said you'll explain it when we get to the studio, but can I ask... what was going on back there?" Stopping, Words slowly turned his gaze on Adaptive, as if to say 'I'll tell you, just not now.'. Thoughts ran through his eyes before turned again, looking up and down the streets. They were surprisingly empty for the time, it wasn't even night time yet. Taking a second longer to debate what he wanted to say, Words waved a hoof for him to continue following him. But instead of leading him towards his place again, he took Adaptive to a nearby alleyway. Thoughts of fear ran through his mind at first, his paranoia kicking in, but he knew if he wanted Words to like him, he had to trust him. He followed him into the dark alley, stepping past Words only to be quickly swung around, staring into Words' dark, almost angry eyes. Adaptive was struck dumb for a second, only for his ignorance to be replaced by fear, the look on his face becoming rather displaying of his emotions. Taking notice, Words lightened up. His eyes went soft and he lightly placed a hoof on the blue colt's shoulder before tilting his head down. "Look, understand I'm not angry but..." He raised his eyeline to Adaptive's showing he had no intention of scaring him further. "What happened yesterday? You were fine, then as soon as I mentioned you needing to go home you flipped out. I don't know what's up, but you can tell me. Is it trouble at home, family, what bud? You're my friend now, and know I've nothing against you, but I need to know to help. Okay?" Adaptive quickly tried to think of some excuse, anything to keep from telling him he liked him. He didn't want him to find out like this, not when sympathy was why he was asking. It'd make him look weak, like a foal, but all he could think of was lies, or things he didn't want to tell Words. He didn't know what to do. Lifting Words' hoof from his shoulder, he sat back against the nearby wall, looking away. The tears he'd been trying to suppress had started to build up before lightly running down his cheek, splashing on the cold hard ground below. He didn't say anything, just sat there and quietly cried for a minute as his friend waited patiently. "Come on, whatever it is, I promise not to judge, you just have to tell me. I can't do anything about it if you don't." The grey unicorn gently sat his saddlebags down and seated himself next to the crying blue earth pony. Adaptive turned away, wiping the tears from his eyes. "It's just... I... I don't know what to say." He sat there, contemplating what he should say. Words waited while he thought for a moment. After a while, he finally spoke to his stallion friend. "I... I didn't want to tell you this, heh, I'd kinda hoped you'd pick up on it on your own actually." Adaptive turned and looked into the greenish blue eyes watching him. "I'm gay." Words' expression dropped from a veil of concern over his friends well being, to a look of question. Like, he was re-evaluating what he knew of the earth pony across from him. Taking a second to dwell, he looked away and spoke. "So... you're gay? This is what this is all about, you fancy me and you've been scared to say it?" His tone was cautious, he didn't want Adaptive jumping the gun. He didn't want the blue stallion to think he was saying that he in turn liked him. "Y-Yeah..." The emotions running through him were putting him in a state of fear, he didn't want to hear Words' response. The thought of being rejected... it hurt him. He hadn't wanted to tell him. He'd just wanted it to happen, and if it didn't. Then he still wanted to be friends. This though, this could cause conflict. Words may not want to be around him anymore now. "I... I don't know what that means to you, but, I really like you." Tilting his head back, Words breathed heavily. Running through how he would handle this news. Not knowing what to do, he just thought for a minute. Letting out a audible sigh, the unicorn turned to his friend, looking him caringly in his eyes. "Listen, we're friends, that's not changing. You obviously need this relationship and I won't take that away. BUT, I'm not attracted to you." In an instant, Adaptive's heart sank, the tears coming back once again. Taking notice, Words placed a hoof on his should and kept on. "Understand, I'm not attracted to you now, but I've never claimed myself exclusively gay or straight, and who knows, someday down the line, I may change. Just not right now, okay?" The sad little earth pony just lowered his head and tried to keep from looking over at him. He didn't want any of this, he didn't want to tell him, nor did he wanna hear Words' answer. It was what he had feared. Rejection. Adaptive wasn't exactly a stranger, but he also didn't like it either. It made him hurt. "Just... why? What's so bad about me you can't like me? I just want a chance Words, I'm not asking for marriage, or to fall in love, I... I just want to be given an opportunity. That's all. Can't I have that?" Adaptive looked at the stallion beside him, his face filled with anguish. The unicorn, unsure of what he himself wanted, just looked away. Letting time pass. After figuring out he wasn't about to say yes, Adaptive chuckled sadly to himself. "I'm a fool, an idiot. To think I could actually be attractive enough for someone like you to give me a chance. I've been hurting myself, you know? I've been letting my daydreams corrupt my reality. I made myself believe you would give me a shot. I gave myself hope," Adaptive looked away, unsure of what he wanted to say next. "...and yes, maybe it's a little selfish to assume something like that, just blatantly opening up to you, would work, but I want so badly for you to care." Words' head shot up at the last sentence, he looked like he'd been insulted almost. Like Adaptive had just questioned his willingness to care about another pony, him in particular. "I do care, really I do. But I'm not going to force myself to lie to you, in hopes it'll work out. It wouldn't be fair. If I didn't like you, and I let you in, made you my boyfriend. Then well, I'd be forced to hurt you, to abandon you. And I'm not sure I'd be able to be friends with you afterward. It... it just wouldn't work. This, staying separate, it's the only way to guarantee our friendship. I want that more." Forehooves encompassing his head, Adaptive was struggling to keep from bawling. He'd opened up, not that he wanted, but he did, and now he's being told it won't happen. That his dreams should be forgotten until Words thinks it's the right time, not when he thinks so. It wasn't fair to him. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't have feelings for you. If I did, well this whole scenario would be so much easier to handle. But I don't, not now at least. I'm just trying to set you down gently. I don't want you to hurt, I can tell you've already dealt with alot of that in your time. I know it's not easy. I'm not going to pretend it would be. And I understand how you could be attracted to me. I get that. Just, please... accept what I'm saying." He didn't want to hear it. It hurt. Adaptive didn't want to give up. He wanted to keep asking, to keep trying, but he couldn't. Love and care doesn't work that way. Either a pony has feelings or they don't. It's not exactly black and white, but the shades of gray are limited. There's only so much he could do, Words would have to change on his own. So, he accepted. Adaptive accepted that he would have to wait, to be patient. Or risk losing his closest friend. Even if he hadn't had him around before for too long, he needed Words now. If it was just as his friend though. "Okay... okay, we'll just be friends. But please, keep my feelings in mind. I... I still want a chance, but I need you as a friend more. Alright Words?" The tear ridden face of the blue pony looked the unicorn in the eyes, the gaze weakly staring into his. "Okay, we'll be friends. Now come on, we've got work to do." Standing, he extended a hoof. Pausing for a moment, Adaptive took his gesture and got to his hooves. He wiped his face of the dried tears and dusted himself off, trying to make himself smile. Weakly, just to show Words he was okay. Even if it was a lie.