//------------------------------// // Diamond Tiara is annoying // Story: Text Tuesday // by Sausagefanclub //------------------------------// Apple Bloom was at Sweet Apple Acres, playing with her pet apple when suddenly Diamond Tiara came in. “My apple is sooo much better than your apple. It has two stems, and yours only has one! Ha ha!” Apple Bloom examined Diamond’s apple closely. “Nah, you just split its stem in half. And it has three worms in it.” The worms ate Diamond Tiara’s apple, and the core rotted and fell to the ground. Diamond Tiara threw a tantrum and ran away. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle came out of the barn. “SCOOTALOO, I HAVE ALREADY CONFIRMED THAT YOUR SCOOTER IS NOT LOCATED WITHIN THIS FACILITY. WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TO CONTINUE TO SEARCH INSIDE IT?” “I need to find it. It’s the only scooter I have! Except the one in that bush near your house, the one Twilight is storing for me in her basement, the one I hid in the closet in Rainbow Dash’s house that she never opens and the one that Fluttershy’s dad is keeping safe in his stomach. And the ten extra ones I have at home.” Scootaloo said. “YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS SEVERELY AND TRAGICALLY LIMITED. CONSIDER YOURSELF FORTUNATE THAT I HAPPEN TO HAVE SELECTED YOU AS MY ACQUAINTANCE.” Diamond Tiara came back. “Looks like your friendship isn’t as stable as you thought it was! Ha ha!” She stuck out her tongue. “Go away, Diamond Tiara.” Apple Bloom said, annoyed. “FINE! I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS I’D RATHER DO THAN BE NEAR YOU BLANK FLANKS!!!” Diamond Tiara threw a bigger tantrum and ran away again. “HER INTELLIGENCE IS NOTABLY MINISCULE COMPARED TO YOURS, SCOOTALOO.” “Wow, that must be REALLY low!” Scootaloo said with a smile. “I SUGGEST WE RETURN TO MY RESIDENCE AND ACQUIRE ONE OF YOUR EXTRA SCOOTERS, SINCE MY SYSTEMS HAVE CONFIRMED YOUR PREVIOUS SCOOTER HAS BEEN KILLED IN BATTLE.” Sweetie Belle teleported them to the bush near her house before they could reply. “Ya forgot mah apple!” Apple Bloom protested. “NEGATIVE. APPLE HAS BEEN TRANSPORTED TO: SWEETIE BELLE’S STOMACH.” Apple Bloom, for a moment, considered joining her sister to work on her reality television series. “NOW RETRIEVING SCOOTER.” The scooter was lifted out of the bush with magnetic power. “SCOOTER HAS BEEN FOUND. INITIATE CELEBRATORY SEQUENCE.” Sweetie Belle began to vibrate, attempting to simulate dancing. “No, wait. Something’s wrong…” Scootaloo took a closer look at the scooter. “There’s a…” “…Message saying ‘Blank Flanks Suck!’ painted on it? Yup, all me! Ha ha! Stupids!“ Diamond Tiara shook her rump at them. “You don’t have Cutie Marks!” “Gettin’ reeeal tired of your crap, Diamond Tiara.” Apple Bloom grumbled. “What the heck is wrong with you?! You know you’re not wearing anything, right?” Scootaloo said. Diamond Tiara blushed with embarrassment, and stopped taunting them. Scootaloo continued. “And I wasn’t talking about that message anyway. I have that written on all my scooters so that it’s pointless for you to try writing it since it’s already there. I was just going to say it’s kinda dirty. Sort of like your mind.” Diamond Tiara got angry. “How would you know I’ve been shaking my plot at ponies I’m secretly attracted to?!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders went silent. Sweetie Belle broke the silence after a minute. “SCAN COMPLETE. DIAMOND TIARA CONFIRMED AS INSANE, OBNOXIOUS LUNATIC.” Diamond Tiara was vaporized instantly. “DELETING MEMORY FROM THE PAST TWO MINUTES.” Suddenly they all got their Cutie Marks. It was a picture of Diamond Tiara’s head. Apple Bloom groaned. “Even in the afterlife, she’s STILL following us?!” “Suddenly being a Blank Flank doesn’t seem so bad.” Scootaloo said. Discord appeared. “Did you know there are TWO meanings for ‘Blank Flank’?” Scootaloo scratched her head. “Huh?” “Just don’t think about it too hard.” Discord flew into the sun. Rainbow Dash was never seen again.