Princess Celestia sat as she always did. Face neutral, posture proper, and a small comforting smile on her lips. Princess Twilight Sparkle sat to her left and Princess Luna sat to her right. Each was attempting to mimic Celestia's pose with varying degrees of success. Luna, who had practice from long ago, was doing well. Though, unlike Celestia, she wore an expression that could not be called comforting in any way, shape, or form. The scowl she wore could curdle milk and the fuming frustration in her eyes could melt snow. Though this was understandable. She was after all supposed to be asleep now. Twilight, bless her, was not doing so well. She shifted uncomfortably on the pillow, ruffled her wings, and kept smiling sheepishly at the being across from them.
Saying the negotiations were going badly would be an understatement. The simple fact that the leaders of both realms were required to overlook it personally said volumes. The issue at hand involved a lake , half of it sat in Equestria, the other half in the Griffon Lands. This has never been an issue before, but it would seem an interesting development had occurred. The griffons used the lake for fishing, had for centuries. But recently it would appear that the fish had grown smart. Because for some reason there were no more fish on the griffon side of the lake. They all seemed to have moved to the Equestrian side. Seeing as how there were several towns that survived almost solely from the fishing of the lake, this presented a rather large issue as the griffons started to fish in Equestrian lands. Causing lots of problems for the ponies near the lake as the griffons scared the animals and disrupted the weather.
This has led to over eight months of meetings, petitions, ambassador visits, and a few fist fights among said ambassadors. So it came to pass that the leaders themselves were called in to oversee the negotiations personally. And they were no closer than before at reaching a consensus.
"Celestia, I must again state the importance of the fish in this lake to my people. If we do not think of a way to have the fish return to how they were before, equally spread over the entire lake, then my people will need special sanctions to fish in your lands or several towns will fail." The Griffon King stated. The current king was named....Asmodius? Celestia inwardly sighed, it was hard to keep track when they changed every few years. She just decided a few centuries ago to use a catch-all term when meeting the current king.
"Your majesty, you must realize that seeing swarms of griffons dive bomb repeatedly upsets many of the local animals, and has caused not only large amounts of chaos but also structural damage. Not to mention the disruption to our weather, that the reactions in the weather that your people bring with the wind kicked up during their fishing has prevented the crops of the region from having a proper rain storm in months." Celestia spoke with an air of surety. She was planning the next four hours of discussion in her head, the emotional outburst of Luna, the whispered questions of Twilight, the accusations of the King. After running the politics of a kingdom for over a thousand years she started viewing the proceedings like a chess game. She could see her checkmate but it would require several hours of talks.
"Indeed, thy think that your people be the only to suffer Azmodys?" AZMODYS! That was the name. Celestia felt a swell of pride for her sister. She always was better at remembering the smaller details. How much she enjoyed having her by her side once again. Not only for her usefulness in situations like these, but the emotional support she offered helped greatly.
"I fail to see how the suffering of one should indicaaa...." As the King began to speak, a very loud and very nearby horn bellowed a tune that made both Celestia and Azmodys's eyes shrink to pinpricks. Celestia's normally calm facade shattered and she started to hyperventilate. "WHY NOW?!" being the thought hammering inside her head. The Griffon king had scrambled to the window looking out it then back to Celestia.
"We have ten and a halfminutes tops Princess!" He flew back to the table, almost knocking it over as he grabbed a red pencil and drew a red line slightly curving into the Equestrian side. "There,/! let us agree to allow my people to fish into your region this far for now. Continued negotiations can take place at a different date, yes?" The hope and terror in his voice was matched by the look in Celestia's eyes. She hated making decisions so quickly but it was necessary. As she was about to agree and end the matter, she heard her sister and former student speak up and actually outwardly groaned.
"WHY I NEVER! What has got thine in such a state? Why would we listen to..." Luna almost bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice while Twilight was spouting off how, as a temporary solution, it would maybe solve nothing as it was exactly what was happening already. Celestia took in a breath as the King snapped at the two.
"You do not understand what is happening! Now quiet yourself so I may end this before they get here!" The king growled at the two, Celestia would normally not stand for such behavior but considering what was about to take place if they did not....
*BANG!*
The door to the negotiation room burst open Celestia and the King's head came crashing down onto the table with a loud dual thud. Their groans echoing off each other as they pulled their heads back looking at the ceiling in defeat. Something whistled by and lodged itself into the table almost cutting the map in half. That something was an ax. The blade was odd as it looked more like a scythe with how it was shaped. It extended out from the top then at the end a sharp edge curved down parallel to the shaft. The blade itself was a big as Twilight, the shaft was a long as Celestia was tall and both the king and Celestia looked at it as if it meant the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING.
Needless to say both Twilight and Luna were already in defensive stances magic at the ready pointed at the remains of the door but what they saw gave them pause. Only three creatures stood in the door. All no bigger than Spike, Twilight's Baby Dragon assistant. Two wore crude black armor, the last wore purple and red robes that were ENTIRELY too long for the creature. At this point did the goblin in armor who threw the massive ax bellow in a volume that gave the Royal Canterlot Voice a run for its money.
"GOBLIN FIGHT SPEAKER ENTER! AX OF NEGOTIATION THROWN! LET FIGHT SPEAK BEGIN!" Bellowed the small form, Twilight was stumped on how something so small could be so loud, he made the Cutie Mark Crusaders seem quiet. Luna froze, slowly turning to Celestia with a look of pure and unbridled horror as she realized what just happened. She quickly went to her sister and whispered quickly.
"Sister. Why are the goblins here stating a claim in the negotiations? I thought they left us alone as long as we left them alone?!" Luna looked ready to bolt out of the room at the slightest chance. Celestia sighed.
"After..." Celestia quickly recomposed herself, almost losing herself to the memories after letting herself lose er facade, "After your banishment the Griffon kingdom tried to invade, thinking we were weaker without you. The goblins stepped in. It was not pretty. After 15 years of fighting I convinced the goblins to "fight speak" as they call it with the Griffons to end hostilities. They were doing a good job. But the Griffon kingdom and I did not notice when they had added something in the last treaty. If Griffons and Ponies were to fight again the Goblin kingdom would step in as mediators and "Fight Speak" for us." Luna's eyes became the size of pinpricks as she roughly slammed her flank into the floor understanding dawning on her. It was at this point that Celestia realized Twilight had moved.
"I welcome the fight speaker of the Goblin races humbly to mediate the current affairs plaguing the Griffon and Pony kingdoms." She said giving a small curtsy. Celestia, Luna, and the Griffon King all stared dumbly. Did she not know that they would not understand the basic procedures of welcoming ambassadors? They were goblins! Royal procedures and doctrine were as foreign a concept as mathematics was to a pig. The race was not stupid however, far from it. They just saw all that posturing and preening as useless and did away with it. Their speech sounded fragmented but that was because they did not use more than was necessary to get a point across. So they rarely said more then what communicated a purpose as shown by the announcer. At least that was what the three thought until the hooded figure laughed and began to speak with an air of intelligence and fluency that sent shivers up all three rulers' spines.
"Well now isn't that nice? Normally my kind is greeted with a rather simple welcome but you don't hold the old prejudices,"The hooded goblin paused, the voice was distinctly female which gave the three rulers pause. What she was saying also caused them to avert their eyes and avoid looking at her for a minute as they realized the truth in what she said. Twilight on the other hand looked stricken, similar to the expression when she got an answer wrong. Celestia had so far been very impressed with how Twilight was handling things. Her royal procedures lessons were paying off and from how she addressed the goblins she had obviously been researching into the goblins at some point. So Celestia was curious as to why she had that look.
"My sincerest apologies, I should have welcomed you as the Queen of Goblins not the goblin Fight Speaker," Luna and Azmody let their jaws hang open in shock, while Celestia only let her brow shoot upward in surprise. They knew that the goblins had established a monarchy and that they mimicked pony culture more than griffon culture, so their queen was the highest authority in an effort to establish a common ground between the two races. But they had never met her. In fact they all had been under the impression that the leaders never left their mountain home. At that moment the Goblin Queen unhooded and the pinkish skin revealed itself. Where normal goblins ranged from a dark forest green to puke green, this one was pinkish. Pale compared to a certain pink pony in Ponyville but pink.
Pinkie Pie sneezed mightily into Gummy's face causing the alligator to soar across the room. She apologized and picked him back up narrowing her eyes looking off into the distance. Hmming and scratching her chin.
"Well then I think a new round of tea and some recap of the issues at hand is in order don't you think your majesties?" Said this new goblin. Clapping her hands together as the two other goblins moved the doors closed, how something that small could lift doors 100x their size like they were nothing but air puzzled even the most learned scholar. For their part the three rulers simply nodded numbly as Twilight led the Queen to the table and then took her place back by the side of Celestia.