The day started out so beautiful and sunny in Ponyville, as most of the ponies were out at work or playing outside. Twilight however, was inside her library as well as the rest of the Mane Six.
Earlier, Twilight got a strange letter from The Character who wanted to meet the other four of the Main Six. He then added that "Pinkie is with me working in the Restaurant, we'll be there soon." With that in mind, she gathered her remaining friends who weren't at the Restaurant and brought them over to the library, trying to explain the idea to them, but couldn't for important reasons. Mainly that Pinkie wasn't there to explain it.
Since, she couldn't explain it very well, and they all thought she was starting to lose it again, they all prepared to leave. "Wait, he's supposed to be here." she said, trying to stop them. They however, didn't stop and continued out the door. They were about to split, when there was a sudden spark that stopped them suddenly in their tracks. They all looked up, as sparks of electricity started to effect the place.
Soon, a Checker Taxi Cab suddenly appeared above their heads, causing them to dive out of the way, as it landed with a THUD! As the dust cleared, they all saw the strange device parked there before them. Soon, the door opened, revealing Pinkie Pie, who unbuckled her seat belt. "Thanks Character for the ride." "No problem Pinkie, just doing a job." The Character said, getting out of the Taxi. The others were amazed on what he was.
The Character looked like his toon-y self, except he was wearing casual clothing like a red long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of jeans. "Ah, Twilight. Sorry I'm late, I would've made it but I careened off course because SOMEBODY doesn't know how to drive their machine."
VWOORP... VWOORP... VWOORP... *THUD!*
"I do so." A british voice said. He had a neat mane and was in a bowtie, but the rest of him was basically a pony. "I know how to pilot my TARDIS very well. I just had trouble controlling her that very moment you were driving." he said. The Character sighed, then said, "Alright Doctor, I forgive you. Just be more careful will ya'. You almost rammed inta' my car, ya' big palooka!" he said, it a brooklyn-like accent. The Doctor smiled, then said, "Now you're just copying Vaudeville." "Guilty as charged." Character said, holding one hand over his heart and the other in the air, like he was taking a oath.
They both laughed at it for a while, then suddenly Derpy came out in a panic. "Doctor, aren't you forgetting something?" she said. The Doctor was about to say something when the Character konked him on the head. At that exact moment, it sounded like something was rattling and rolling down his brain, until it suddenly landed with a *THUD!* "Oh. Oh! Oh right!" he said, then turned towards The Character, "Well Character, I'll see you later." The Character saluted to him, as The Doctor ran back into his Tardis, then disappeared.
The Character waved at goodbye to the Doctor, then turned towards them. "So, you must be the rest of the Mane Six. Am I right?" "You're right Character. These are my friends." Pinkie replied. The Character nodded then noticed Fluttershy curled up pretty far from the taxi. He walked towards her, keeping an eye on anything that might ruin the moment (including himself), then he crouched down near her. "Hello. I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here because Twilight and Pinkie know me and my taxi."
"What's your name?" He asked her. Fluttershy looked at him, then shyly said, "Fl-Fluttershy." "Hello Fluttershy. I'm The Character." he said calmly. She smiled at him, to which he then grabbed her hoof and kissed it. She blushed and it appeared he was trying to charm her, when he turned towards a invisible wall, the Fourth Wall.
"Ey writer. This is a Meta/Comedy Story, not a romance!" he exclaimed. For a brief moment, the mares looked around, confused. The Character turned back towards Fluttershy, who had hid herself inside a bush nearby. He soon gave a deadpan look, to which he muttered, 'Curse my Fourth Wall Observing powers.' as he got up.
Applejack, who was the most confused by The Character's comment. "Not to be rude or anythin' but what exactly were ya' doin'?" she asked. The Character got up and brushed himself off, then he looked at Applejack. "Well, it's... Complicated. Trust me, I know about complicated, and you would think that I'm nuts." Character said, looping his finger around his ear, indicating the whole loopy in the brain thing.
"Anyways, now that we kinda got that out of the way, I wanna show you something." The Character said, as he opened the hood of the car to check on the engine. Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow, and Fluttershy were all wary on the idea of being taken to somewhere strange, however Pinkie and Twilight trusted The Character for a special set of reasons. "Where to?" Twilight asked. The Character was pulling a bolt tight with a bolt wrench, making it's famous clicking noise.
Suddenly, The Character's radio activated by itself and started to play this...
The Character soon slammed the trunk as he chuckled at the funny story of the guy's friend. The Character entered into his car and kicked the radio, turning it off (*Stop the video here*). "So, you ready for the ride of a lifetime?" he said to them. They all looked at each other, looked at Pinkie and Twilight, then back at The Character and his Taxi.
"YYYEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAWWWWW!" The Character screeched as his Checkered Taxi Cab sped across the Fictional Multiverse. The others held on dearly for life, except for Pinkie. Aside from Rainbow, who had a wild smile plastered onto her face, and Applejack, who had rode a wild bull before, the others had a kind of look of fear. The Character looked at them through his rearview mirror, then said, "C'mon girls, where's your enthusiasm and excitement?" "In another universe... [*GULP!*] with my stomach." Twilight humorously said, as she started to turn a kind of green.
At this point, The Character laughed as he drove through the electric vortex, swirling around the Taxi.
In Another Universe...
Wha-what are you doing here? I'm writing a story that's as Meta as a... I can't think of something that is super meta, unless you count that story like THIS! Why are you in italics and why am I in BOLD?
Simple, so the reader can tell us apart from who we are. Please continue and don't mind me, my story should be coming soon.
?
Ok. Well... Well, with that, Pinkie began hopping towards AppleJack. You know, that's a good question. How did she know where Applejack was? I mean, Sweet Apple Acres is, well, was huge! Oh, well, I'm sure it--
"Oh, that's an easy one, Capp!"
Pinkie? But how-- oh, never mind. You were saying?
"Well, I knew where Applejack was because I always know exactly where everypony in Ponyville is, in case of friendship emergencies!"
There was a pause.
When will your Character show up?
Soon, Pinkie... very soon.
Oh... kay. Anyhoof, Spike, Spines, Fluttershy, and Rarity followed Pinkie to Applejack's location, idly chatting about the events of the previous week. An odd occurrence, since the previous week had been rather uneventful. Unless... of course! They were talking about how unusually boring that week had been. Seriously, there wasn't even a Pinkie Pie Party or a CMC mishap. A rare occurrence indeed. Well, rather a rare lack of occurrence.
Once Pinkie had reached AJ's location, she continued bouncing. The only difference was that, in order to avoid passing AJ, Pinkie bounced around the aforementioned Apple Family member. This (for reasons unbeknownst to Pinkie) upset Applejack.
"Consarn it, Pinkie, Ah've got buckin' to do, so would you mind gettin' out from between me 'n' the trees?"
"No time, AJ!"
"What? No time for apple buckin'? Have you gone all sixes and sevens? This here's mah family's livelihood! Furthermore-- Pinkie, will yah stop draggin' me by the tail?"
Pinkie would not. Rather, she just kept dragging until the whole group came across Rainbow Dash, napping upon a cloud. Pinkie, being Pinkie, was able to convince Fluttershy to push said cloud to the Library. Amazing when you consider that she still had a firm grip on AJ's (now rather frazzled) tail. Anyhoof, they reached the library, and Dusk (knowing Butterscotch well enough to know that Fluttershy wouldn't get Rainbow Dash out of the cloud) levitated a bucket of water over said cloud, and-- you see where this is going, right? Good. When Rainbow Dash was peeled off of the ceiling (yes, they were inside), Dusk and Twilight cast Spell 63, opening the ever-so-mesmerizing blue vortex that acted as a portal betwixt the two universes. Out of the portal came the elegant Elusive, the bouncy Bubble Berry, the radical Rainbow Blitz, the bumbling Butterscotch, and the athletic Applejack. Shut up, it's a gender-neutral name. OF COURSE PONIES HAVE THOSE!
The group formed two lines, with each pony facing their counterpart. LET THE CONVERSIFICATION BEGIN!
May I? I guess. Is he coming?
Above the ponies, was a yellow Taxi cab that floated above them, not noticing the fact that it faded into view, or the fact that six mares and one humanoid being was looking out of their windows to see what was going on. "Now isn't that interesting? These versions of yourselves met a parallel and opposite gender version of yourselves." The Character said with a smile. He then looked up, "Alright Cap'. Start the craziness." The Character said.
Alright, like I wrote before, LET THE CONVERSIFICATION BEGIN!
"I must say, my dear, I simply adore your hat," said Elusive to Rarity.
"Why thank you... I'm sorry, I don't recall catching your name. I'm Rarity, and you... er, me?"
"Why, I'm Elusive, Miss Rarity."
"So very fine to meet you, Sir Elusive."
Okay, next up, Flutterscotch.
"Um... hi. What's your name?"
"Um... I'm Fluttershy."
"Oh, hi Fluttershy, I'm Butterscotch. It's nice to meet you."
"Oh, um... it's nice to meet you too, Butterscotch."
Dash and Blitz are up next!
"You think you're awesome, huh?" asked Rainbow Dash
"No, I know I am. In fact, I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria!"
"Nuh-uh! I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria!"
"We're both the fastest flyer in Equestria, we're the same pony!"
"Dang, I'm hot as a colt."
"I know, right?"
Okay, we should probably go to Pinkie and Berry now. I know, it was going to get awkward anyways. Will you shut-.
"Shhh!" Both Pinkie and Berry said before facing their counterparts.
"Hi Berry!"
"Hey Pinkie!
"I haven't seen you since that thing with the mirror, throw any good parties lately?"
"Same ones as you! Clockwork's been getting onto me about cavities, though."
"Oooh! Colgate's been doing the same with me!"
"Isn't it great being us?"
"Totally!"
Alright, the pair of Applejacks is next, I guess. *Snicker!* You used a good pun. Thanks.
"Howdy, ma'am. Well, ah guess, 'Howdy, me' would be more appropriate, wouldn't it?"
"Ah have absolutely no idea, but what's your name? Ah'm guessin' somethin' like 'Caramel Apple,' how off am ah?"
"Pretty far. Mah name's Applejack."
"But that's mah name!"
"Well, how 'bout that? Haystack, Ah must say, Ah like your stetson."
"Well thankie, sugarcube. It was mah Pa's back when Ah was a little filly."
"I guess yah must've figured it out by now, but mine b'longed to mah Ma."
I'm taking the story from here. See you later Cap' Whatever, weirdo.
As the Mane Six talked to the Main Six, The Character looked at the six who watched with shock and awe. Suddenly, Pinkie's whole body shook, causing the Character to shake for a brief moment. "Wh-wh-what is-is i-i-t-t-t, P-Pi-i-i-nkie?" "I-i-it's a r-r-real d-d-do-o-o-oozy!" she exclaimed as she shook. The Character sat Pinkie onto the seat, buckled her in, then said, "Girls, buckle in. Pinkie, where's the doozy?"
"Last Chapter of this story." she said. The Character nodded, then quickly shifted gears. He soon quickly activated the meter, causing it to fade again as they headed for the end of the chapter.
Back again? Yup, and this time, we're here to stop the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse from ending your world in a Temporal Physics accident.
...
What? What are- You know what, never mind. Let's finish this bad boy.
Twilight Dusk gasped. The Vortex wasn't acting like it normally did, and they knew why. Celestia and Solaris did have a reason for giving them this assignment. Through the interdimensional bending caused not only by the repeated opening of the Vortex, but the constant presence of Dusk and Spines in this universe as well, the walls between realities were wounded. Both universes would soon die. Amazing how quickly you can think when you've just caused the extinction of reality, isn't it?
The Vortex began pulling. Pulling at the fabric of reality. The Vortex tugged. It tugged until everything was gone.
The Library was the first to go. Within three more seconds, everything from Manehattan to Los Pegasus was gone, as well. In five seconds, the Crystal Empire and Saddle Arabia went too. Half a second later, Zebrica was gone. The Vortex was cruel. In nearly six seconds, it had destroyed everything in either universe. Everything except my house. My house merged with itself. That "usurper" I took care of was Scarlet Scarf. That wasn't murder, it was suicide. I'm still here, but not for long. Now that I've told you the tale, it has no reason to keep me here. Ha. I just realized something: I just narrated the death of not one, but two universes! Let's see Smooth Voice do that!
"PEACE OUT, Y'ALL!!"
*As he shouted his final farewell, Crimson Capp faded from existence. So died the last survivor of The Vortex.*
Strange enough, the narration booth didn't disappear, but instead stayed where it was at. Suddenly, there was a glow coming from the booth's door before the door glowing bright white opened, showing a humanoid form before it entered, revealing the Character. Soon, following the Character were six mares known as The Elements of Harmony.
The Character soon sat down on the office chair and popped his fingers before wiggling them over the computer. Why a computer? Well it was the coding of the universe (upgrades made it more acceptable for controlling the wheels of the universe with computer code). Also, the computer looked like this.
"Alright, let's see what happened?" The Character said, as he activated Ctrl-Alt-Dlt. There was a ear piercing Beep before the computer showed the screen. It said this:
WARNING!
FILE CORRUPT!
ACTIVATE SPARE MEMORY UNIT!
>C/:
The Character scratched his head for a moment, then noticed the Codebook, which was a notebook with hoofwritten codes for the computer. Character quickly grabbed the Codebook and started speedreading faster than the average pony and human. Twilight was in both awe and having a nerd-gasm almost at the same time.
Then, the Character stopped at a page. "There it is." he exclaimed, with a smile. The girls looked at each other in confusion, before The Character quickly rolled over to the computer to where he started typing in computer coding. In reality, it was a computer to the universe.
>C/: Access computer memory.
PASS:
He thought for a moment, before typing in "I M THE WALRUS" into the computer.
PASS:***********
ACCESS GRANTED
MEMORY
-FILE SAVE (3)
-EXTRA STUFF
-XXX
-TRASH.
The Character looked for a moment, seeing that he had a stash of Porn on his computer before typing in.
>C/:ACCESS File Save
FILE SAVE
3:32p. 24/1/20XX-Last Save before "The Crash"
The Character smiled and then typed:
>C/: ACCESS FILE SAVE 3
ACTIVATING RE-BOOT
"Well girls, this is it. I hope that this works." The Character said, before pressing enter. There was a powerful spark that came from the terminal computer before the lights in the room flickered for a moment. Soon, Crimson Capp faded into existence from them activating the device. "Wha- What are you doing here?" he exclaimed to them. "Just fixing your little universe. Hang on..." The Character said, as he started typing in code into the terminal. "Why the heck haven't you updated this, and even enforced the universe in case of a dimensional collapse?" he said.
"Because it's supposed to be confusing." "Well now it's even more confusing with me here. Isn't that right writer?" That's write (heh heh), it may make the story more confusing and more of a cluster- "Watch it now." The Character said, adding more code to the stream of universal data, "This is a PG story." More like PG-13, as we just make a porn reference as a joke. Crimson Capp sat there in shock, first looking towards the ceiling, then back at The Character. "You saw my PORN?!" "No! We just saw it on your terminal marked Triple X." The Character finished the coding, then it was soon cleared of what he did.
"Finished. Make your own conclusion people, I'm taking these girls to the Fourth Wall Restaurant for a bite to eat." The Character said.
At the Fourth Wall Restaurant...
The Character was serving up some hot dogs and hamburgers, while the Mane Six ate their daffodil sandwiches with french fries. This confused Twilight as she thought that they did eat french fries. "Not hay fries, which is made of hay. French fries are made of potatoes." he said as he served The War Doctor his banana milkshake. "For saving the universe and Gallifrey." The Character said, before skating back to the counter.
The six girls looked around, surprised from the amazing journey and the incredible food. The Character skated behind the counter, tripping and flinging the giant serving plate up in the air for a moment, before The Character got up. "So, anything else girls?" he said, catching the plate as it fell. The four of the six of them looked at each other, then back at The Character. Meanwhile, Twilight was nonchalantly enjoying her hay milkshake and reading a book titled, "So You Find Out That You're Fictional... Now What?". Pinkie finished searving tables and quickly came over to the counter to help with the conversation.
"Why exactly did you bring us here?" Applejack asked. The Character smiled, then looked at Pinkie who smiled at well. "Let us explain from the very beginning." he said and started the explanation of a lifetime.