//------------------------------//
// One-Pony Band 
// Story: Engineering in Ponyville 
// by Cogneato Switch 
//------------------------------//

	One-Pony Band

(Occurs during S1E10 Swarm Of The Century)
Pinkie Pie burst into Cogneato’s workshop. “Do you know where I could find a trombone?”
The pink engineering pony spun around in his chair and looked up at the mare. Her curly hair seemed little more frazzled than usual, but it was difficult to tell. “A… trombone?” Cogneato was confused at the sudden request. “What do you need it for?”
“For the parasprites!” Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes and started rummaging around in a chest next to the door. 
“The wha…?” Cogneato hesitated as he watched her toss broken gizmos, cracked widgets, and half-gadgets across the room. “You’re not going to find a trombone in there. In fact, I’m not much of a musician at all. Maybe you’d have better luck at Lyra’s?”
“Oh, right!” The absent-minded baker stood up and looked at Cogneato. “Do you know how to automate an accordion?”
“But I don’t have an accordion,” brown maned pony protested.
“Not right now, if I gave you one. Could you make it play on its own?”
Cogneato thought for a moment. “I think so. What song would you want it to play?”
“I have the sheet music! I’ll be right back!” Pinkie Pie disappeared out the door in a small cloud of dust. A moment later she reappeared with an accordion and the sheet music.
“When do you need it by?” the engineer asked.
“As soon as possible!” she declared. “Now I’m going to go ask Applejack if she has a harmonica I can borrow.”
“Okay, Pinkie.”
Pinkie Pie left and Cogneato was rather confused. Fortunately, Cogneato wasn’t busy, so he shook his head and got down to work. He looked over the accordion, trying to think about how to automate it. Nothing came to him so he started cleaning up the room.
One of the gizmos Pinkie had thrown happened to be a hand-cranked street organ. The bellows were ragged and beyond repair, but the rest of the mechanisms still worked. He picked it up to put away when an idea struck him. I could use the ratchet, axle, and spindle from this organ! Cogneato dropped the organ onto the floor. “I just need a way to automate the bellows!” he said aloud. Cogneato dashed to another chest, rummaging through it much like Pinkie Pie did. He tossed aside sprockets and belts and wires. Finally he pulled out a large metal spiral spring. “This should work!” He grabbed the accordion and started fiddling with it and the spring. 
When he was finished, the accordion was stretched out vertically from the spring inside. He waved the accordion up and down and it let out the sounds of random notes. Though the sound wasn’t good, he still cheered. “Yes! The bellows are working! Now let’s just put in the other pieces…” He grabbed the broken organ and took it to his tool bench. A cacophony of tool sounds, including hammers, ratchets, and sawing could be heard. Cogneato grabbed the accordion to his bench and more sounds were heard. 
Finally he was finished. On Cogneato’s desk was the accordion, looking much like it did before, but the buttons at the bottom were new. He took a deep breath for hope and shook it up and down. Much to his delight, it produced music. It was the chords and notes to the song the organ originally played, The Canterlot Polka.
“Now to transcribe the music.”

A few hours later, Cogneato finished. He scooted back from his desk to reveal his work. He’d painstakingly insert countless pins and into a wooden cylinder. Cogneato wiped his brow. “Let’s see if it works.” He opened up the accordion, removed the old cylinder and put in his new one. Holding it from the bottom, he shook the accordion up and down, causing the bellows to squeeze air and turn the cylinder. The pins opened valves in certain pipes and the air rushed out, making the music Pinkie had given him.
“Success!” he cheered.
Almost as if she heard him, Pinkie Pie burst in. “Look what I got!” she cried.
Cogneato was startled but quickly calmed down and looked at the instrument she was carrying. “A banjo? But how are you going to play it?”
“The usual way.” Pinkie Pie winked.
"Right.” Cogneato was unsure what she meant but moved on anyway. “I just finished the auto-accordion. ” He held it up proudly. “You should be able to play it just by bouncing up and down. I figure it would be natural for you since you are always bouncing.” He looked over to see Pinkie Pie bouncing with excitement.
"Looks great!" The pink baker cheered as she inspected the accordion. "I'll pick it up later this afternoon." 
"But you're right here... " Cogneato tried.
“I know,” Pinkie started explaining a mile a minute, “but there’s a party at sugar cube corner today and I know that if I just waltz in with an accordion on my back, the party guests will be all like ‘Oh Pinkie, what an amazing accordion’ ‘can we hear you play it?’ and it will just stop me from doing what’s really important.”
“Um…” The engineer only understood about half of what she said. “And what is really important right now?”
“Finding some maracas, of course!”
“Okay.” Cogneato still had no idea what was going on. “I’ll hold onto the accordion for you.”
“Great!” Pinkie grinned widely. “Could you also hold onto to my banjo? I’ll need it later.”
“Sure, that’s not a problem.”
“Oh, oh, and can you help me find a tuba?”
Cogneato shrugged. “I suppose I could...”
“Thank you!” Pinkie dropped the banjo and then dashed out the door.
“What just happened?” he asked the empty room. After receiving no response, he put the banjo on his desk and left to search for the tuba.

Cogneato’s first stop was the house of the only musician he knew, Lyra. Though Lyra Heartstrings was known for her skills as a strings player, she might know somepony who was a horn player. After a quick trot across town, he stood on her doorstep. He knocked, but no one came to the door. After a few more tries, he gave up. Probably out with some of her friends, Cogneato thought to himself. 
He then wandered around and tried to think of any pony around town who might have a tuba they could spare. Walking through the park, he saw numerous ponies playing games and having picnics. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the mint-green white-maned unicorn he was looking for. He walked over to where she was sitting on the park bench.
“Hello Lyra!” Cogneato called out cheerfully. Lyra looked up from a book she was reading. “Oh, hello Cogneato!” she smiled. This mare had a peculiar way of sitting on these park benches. Instead of folding her legs under, like most ponies, she sat on her rump with her legs forward, leaning on the back of the bench, much like Spike the dragon might sit.
“I was wondering if you happen to know where I could find a tuba.”
Lyra contorted her face in confusion. “A tuba? What do you need that for?”
Cogneato bit his lip. “I don’t know.”
The lyrist contemplated the reason this engineer would need a tuba, but gave up. “Well, I know a guy named Mel Brass. He should be able to help you.”
“A… guy?”
“It’s human slang. It means stallion.”
“Alright. Where can I find him?”
“He has a store off the main drag, behind Sofas and Quills.”
Cogneato nodded, noting the location in his mind.
“Tell him Lyra sent you.” She winked at him.
Another pony spoke near him. “Good afternoon Lyra!” It was Bon Bon, a cream-colored pony and close friends with Lyra.
Cogneato took this as his cue to leave. “Thanks for your help! I’ll be off!” 
“Bye!” Lyra called as he left. He over heard Bon Bon and Lyra discuss lunch plans before he was out of earshot.

Cogneato soon found himself outside the Brass Shop. A welcoming black and orange “open” sign hung in the window, so he stepped in. Inside, the walls were covered in various brass instruments. The trumpets, trombones, french horns, and other sound-making devices lined the walls. Cogneato searched for something suitable. He came across a marching tuba, or a sousaphone, hanging on the wall. He looked around but the shop owner was nowhere to be found. Deciding that this is what Pinkie needed, he reached out to pick it up. At that moment, a pony cleared his throat beside him and Cogneato jumped. There was an orange pony with a silver mane and a horn cutie mark standing there. Cogneato presumed he was Mel Brass and he didn’t seem too happy.
“Can I help you with something?” he asked somewhat hostily.
“Yes, I was wondering if I could borrow this sousaphone.” Cogneato was concerned, but he was a customer, after all.
“We have rentals,” the owner said icily, “but they are quite expensive. How long do you need it for?”
The engineer was stunned. He hadn’t thought of the cost. Perhaps this is why Pinkie hadn’t asked Mel. “I was just going to borrow it for a little while, I promise to give it right back.” He grinned hopefully.
“Why should I believe you?” he asked gruffly.
“Well…” he thought. “I’m friends with Lyra?” It sounded silly coming out but Mel seemed to warm up to him.
“Lyra sent you?” he gave a toothy smile, showing off a gold tooth. “You must not be that bad then.”
Cogneato wanted to ask questions, but he decided not to press his luck. “Then, could I borrow it?”
He nodded. “Go ahead. Just bring it back when you’re done with it.”
Cogneato smiled, grabbed the instrument, and walked out the door.

On his way home, a few groups of ponies galloped by. They seemed panicked and some were even screaming. Cogneato, however, was deep in thought. I wonder what Pinkie wants to do with all these instruments? Managing to ignore everypony else, he walked into his workshop, shut the door behind him, and placed all the instruments on the bed. He then went to his desk and started to read.
Suddenly the door was flung open and Pinkie Pie ran through. She spat a tambourine onto the floor and yelled, “quick, Cogneato, I need the instruments now!”
Before he could get a word out, a small spherical yellow creature with dragonfly wings fluttered in. He eyed it as it landed on his chest of junk. “Oh, how cute!” he said.
The creature sniffed at the chest before opening it’s mouth wide and eating the chest in one bite.
Cogneato’s eyes went wide. “What in Equestria is that?”
“It’s a parasprite!” Pinkie exclaimed at super speed. “It usually eats food and makes more of itself and Twilight cast a spell to get them to stop eating food but instead she accidentally caused them to eat everything that’s not food!” Her words were so fast they seemed to slur together.
As she explained, he saw out the window that the entire city seemed to be overrun with them. Carts, sales stands and even roof gutters were all being eaten. Inside, the yellow parasprite coughed and spat out a glob of blue goo. The goo rounded out, sprouted wings, and became a blue parasprite.
Cogneato quickly grabbed a butterfly net and swung it over both of them.
“Anyway, I’d like my accordion now,” Pinkie requested. “And the banjo.”
“At a time like this?” Cogneato asked incredulously as the parasprites started biting through the net. He grabbed a glass jar, caught the parasprites, and quickly screwed the lid on.
Pinkie frowned. “They didn’t get eaten, did they?” she asked.
“What the instruments? No, they’re over there.” He pointed onto the bed where they were.
“Oh, you found a tuba!” She cheered. “That should be everything I need!”
Cogneato watched as the parasprites, unable to find a corner to bite, started banging against the inside of the jar. “Technically it’s a sousaphone, I borrowed it from the store” he explained, “but is now really the time to be playing around? Shouldn’t we be dealing with these things?”
“I promise to give it back, I’m not playing around, and I am dealing with them.” Despite the desperate situation, Pinkie Pie managed to stay cheerful. She jumped onto the bed, fitting herself perfectly into the hole of the sousaphone.  The accordion bounced up and fell into place on her right flank and the strap of the banjo fell perfectly over her neck. She pulled out a harmonica on a neck stand and two cymbals. She lept off the bed and stepped on the tambourine, causing it to fly into the air and land perfectly on her left flank. “I’ve got this!” she winked.
Cogneato opened his mouth to say something but the bouncing Pinkie Pie had already started playing music. She had a determined look on her face as she danced into the street playing the music. The parasprites in the jar slammed into the glass hard enough to cause Cogneato to drop them and shatter the jar against the ground. To his surprise, the parasprites looked as if they too were dancing, and followed Pinkie Pie into the street.
Out of sheer curiosity, he followed them to the door and stuck his head out. He watched as thousands of parasprites started pouring from every building, all following the one-pony band. Pinkie Pie led them down the road, out of Ponyville, and beyond to the Everfree Forest.
Cogneato blinked twice. “I guess that takes care of that,” he said to himself as the music faded. “I just hope she returns those instruments when she’s done.”
Suddenly a brown mare with glasses came bounding up to him. It was Mayor Mare. “Cogneato, we need your help!” she cried.
He looked up at the broken rooftops and crumbling buildings where the parasprites had been chewing. “Let me guess, the city’s been destroyed?”
“How did you know?” she asked.
Cogneato couldn’t tell if she was joking, and so shrugged. “I’m sure we can fix this.” He said, confidently.