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// Fall Weather Friends 
// Story: Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student 
// by keaton-furman-prower 
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Original letter here.





Dear Twilight Sparkle:

If what you said is true, and the seasons have already changed in just a few weeks, then perhaps you need to take control of the seasons on your own. You've already demonstrated the ability to control and order the ponies in your little town, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem for you to take over completely. Unless you begin to hibernate again.

Seriously, the way you managed to convince your two friends to judge them by pointing out that you are superior to them is proof that they have recognized you as their leader. And indeed, while their competition may prove that one is superior to the other, they lack the magic abilities that define unicorns as the second most powerful race (we alicorns, of course, are still the master race, but you wouldn't know that).

Also, I'd like to say that I find your analysis of Rainbow Dash's front hooves to be quite interesting. If you have an idea of what she uses those strong hooves for, then perhaps you ought to invite her to a slumber party so she can show you. Perhaps you could show her your unicorn superiority?

But back to the competition. If Applejack was so pissed about Rainbow using her wings, then why did she start worrying about it after the competition was over? Isn't this the kind of thing one would think of before challenging somepony? Then again, she's probably inbred, so it's not likely that she could have put much thought into this.

Of course, the Running of the Leaves must have been something completely different, especially if you decided to join. The fact that Applejack thought about giving Rainbow a disability to “level” the playing field proves that earth ponies may not be completely useless, while Rainbow's decision to go with it helps demonstrate that pegasi are just as inferior as earth ponies. Of course, they were pretty much spot on when they thought you couldn't compete. I've seen you try, and honestly, it's absolutely hilarious.

Then you had to ruin it by teleporting in between sixth and fourth place. I guess that just proves that you're superior to most of them (if you were actually superior to all of them, you'd teleport to the very front).

Anyway, I must say I'm amused by the way Pinkie Pie fucked up the commentary. I mean, hot dogs? Those are food made by griffons, with meat! Why would she mention them to an audience of ponies? I mean, I know she's the leader of the Ponyville P.E.T.A.* chapter, but she does need to learn how to control her ideas. Still, I imagine that you'd enjoy joining them, especially after that letter about the uselessness of cows. Also, given that dragons tend to eat meat, I'm sure your fax machine would enjoy joining too.

But I have to admit, the highlight of the race was the look on Rainbow and Applejack's faces when they found out they were tied for dead last place. Not only did they fail to prove their superiority, but they also proved that both races are equally bad!

At least they didn't fuck up by teleporting four places behind their intended target. Master race my ass.

Your infinitely greater ruler, Princess Celestia.