Words
'Fragile'
A delicate balance of chemicals and matter keeping the pieces in check. One little, tiny, insignificant slip and the entire process can come crumbly down like and avalanche on a steep mountain side. This is the mindset Adaptive had been grown into. Careful of every little thing. For one error, and his ultimate destiny could shatter his poor, desperate reality.
And now... he had someone to look forward to in three days. Someone to throw so many more variables into his little experiment. The more he thought of what could happen, the more the number grew, and the more controls changes into potential problems.
Was he smart enough to work with? Was he good looking enough to be seen with? Will he make a fool out of himself? Millions of little strings holding up his metaphorical marionette. A slice of the scissors and he crashed down just to be put back up again.
This endless cycle tormented his life for years and this time he was determined to keep himself afloat in his sea of life. He wanted more than anything to get this right. To actually find a friend in this mystery stallion. It's what he needed, something he truly wanted.
Adaptive had to be strong. He couldn't let his weakness fail him with this trial. Not to be broken, like a young foal. Fragile, that's what he had been, but he couldn't anymore.
Three slow days passed before he was ready to meet his friend again. He wandered around his home early in the morning, not eating anything. Foolishly, he spent a vast majority of that week's funds on hygiene and beauty products, trying to doll himself up as best he could for today.
Usually, he'd shower and only wash his hair with products cause he couldn't afford to buy shampoo and body wash most times, but the day before he had gone out and purchased high end shampoo, conditioner, and his own bottle of body wash. He felt great when he made the purchases, till he got home and looked in his bedside table at his stash of bits.
A measly 7 bits was to last him the rest of the week cause of the purchases. Adaptive hadn't found a job around town he could do yet and didn't have the qualifications to apply at most places that need employees now. He'd tried to go to school directly after high school, but without outside funding from his mom, he hadn't any way to pay tuition or housing and didn't have any credit so loans were out of the question.
Nevertheless, he felt great getting out of the shower. Feeling clean, his reflection in the previously fog covered mirror showed a beautiful him. His short blond hair, tipped with natural rainbow highlights ran down to his eyes. The blue coat that covered him lacked stains or markings from work and he shined like a pretty new bit.
Heading over to his closet, he tried to think of what would look good. His selection was rather limited, consisting of basic apparel. Jackets and boots for cold days, though most were cold days. This was Stalliongrad. A ushanka hat he had made in high school. Well, sorta, he'd dyed the fur portions of the hat rainbow colors in an attempt to stand out. Didn't really work though, just ended up getting him teased for being a tosser.
'Socks? No, too flashy, they are rainbow and all. Button up shirts? No, too formal.' Tossing different items out his closet like a young mare, he couldn't find anything. 'I guess... just a plain black tee would work. Oh and my baseball cap, that would look casual right?' He threw his clothing on and headed over to the mirror.
It looked nice. The shirt was a little tight, but he was toned enough it worked. The hat covered most of his hair, but the longer bits hanged out the front, a little rainbow above his eyes. Putting his tail in a band, he'd done this since school. It just looked nicer and neater to him. He stared into his own blue eyes, thinking of how the day could go.
So many scenarios flooded his mind. He could be cool, win the praise of the guy he wanted to impress, or he could look like an idiot and make the guy run for the hills so to speak. He imagined how it could go perfectly, winning the grey unicorn over and getting exactly what he wanted. Or he could be shunned for being a fool and be forced to pick himself back up again. Tons of possibilities.
Regardless, today was his chance to prove himself to this guy. He wanted to make a positive image in his mind for him. Taking one last glance in the mirror, he turned, shut down his apartment, and trekked out the door. Heading for 'Fictions Finest'.
Arriving at the book store, he waved to the store clerk he'd spoken to briefly yesterday. She looked the same as the day before. Same hair, same glasses, same smile. Something he hoped would become familiar to him. It'd be cool if he even became what she would call a regular, that's if this stallion showed up today.
"You looking for your friend?" Adaptive turned to her, somewhat surprised. Turning to the ground, he went into thought for a moment. 'Had she taken notice of us sitting in the aisle yesterday?' Turning back to her, she was pointing a hoof over to the 'Science Fiction' section, which was housed on the wall of the store. Just above the aisles, he could see that same hat and feather looking around and shifting.
"Thanks. And hey..." He trotted over to the counter, close enough to speak quietly. "Has he been here long? I hope I didn't keep him waiting." The cashier leaned in closely, speaking softly like he had.
"Not really, he arrived about a half hour ago and asked if you had come to the store yet, so I told him no, you had not." With that, Adaptive gave a small thanks and headed over to talk to the pony waiting for him.
Adaptive quietly came up next to him. The grey unicorn had been flippy through a science fiction novel with the image of a space craft on the cover. The teal glow of his horn entombing the novel. His eyes scanned text and images of the pages he passed over.
"How's it goin'?" The grey stallion didn't draw his attention away from the book, but by the way his mouth started to open, Adaptive could tell he heard him. Processing what he was going to say, the unicorn thought for what seemed like five minutes, leaving Adaptive waiting on bated breath.
"I find it kinda funny, these authors tend to not dive into the character mindsets too often, instead focusing on the larger picture. I often times can't really get into a story cause I can't relate to the characters. Like this one, it tells of an astronaut traversing the stars, fighting alien life and saving civilizations, but it barely talks about what he's like behind the scenes. The emotions he goes through, missing his home planet, taking lives, even if they are evil, how he handles things."
Stopping for a moment, he levitated the book back to the shelf and closed it, placing it among the other copies there. Picking up the next novel, he continued his talk.
"It's something I feel should be diagnosed, it'd help build the character. You know what I mean?" Turning to Adaptive, he was waiting for reassurance.
"Oh... yeah, of course. I mean, I understand what you're getting at. You'd like the authors to pay more attention to the characters, not the plot lines as much, or to incorporate the character development into the plot lines." Nodding, the fedora on his head slid over his eyes a bit, to be reseated with a quick glow of teal.
"Exactly. That's how I want to write." He put the book back and headed past Adaptive, heading for the door. "You coming?" Calling back behind him, Adaptive quickly trotted up behind him.
They headed out the store, the latter trailing lightly behind. He didn't question where they were going till he had a decent idea. He thought they may have been headed for the cities public library at first until they passed it. Then they passed the college. Adaptive didn't know where they were going.
"Hey... um, where are we going exactly?" Asking out ahead of him, he jogged up beside the stallion, glancing his form up and down as he did. He couldn't help but stare at his acquaintance's cutie mark. A wizard helm over a gold bind book with a wand casting some sort of spell behind it all. Rather complex. Adaptive wondered if his would be as elaborate as his friend's.
"Oh, right, I should've told you. We're headed for a place I like to go to work. A little apartment on the end of town. It's nothing fancy, but I know the owner, and since no one's moved in, or even tried to move in, she lets me use it a base of operations of sorts." Turning his head, he looked Adaptive in the eyes. "By the way, my name's Words."
'Words huh? That's fitting. Words... I like that.' Not paying attention to where he was going, Adaptive let his mind wander. A smile came across his face as he was thinking up little scenarios that he could be part of with Words. While his mind traversed, so did his body, inattentively.
"Whoa!!"
Feeling a force come across his chest, Adaptive was stopped in his tracks right before stepping into the street and presumably getting run over by a speeding mail carrier. Who ever they were headed for, they were in a bit of a hurry. Luckily though, he looked over and seen that his friend had stopped him with his hoof. Not his magic, or just telling him 'Look out!' but had actually stopped him from getting hurt.
In a second his fragile form could've been wrecked, broken, or worse. But Words saved him. Kept the pain away. Something he wasn't really accustomed to. It was nice. Adaptive wanted to be kept safe more.
"T-Thanks..." Adaptive shyly hid his face, his cheeks most likely a deep shade of purple now, red under his blue coat.
"Don't mention it, just be more careful next time. Alright?" Words looked him directly in the eyes, mesmerizing him. He couldn't look away. 'His eye's... they look so beautiful right now.' He just stared into them. Not wanting to look away. Letting himself stare for too long, he broke his gaze and replied.
"Y-Yeah, I will." Fidgeting his front right hoof around, he stared at the ground like a scolded child. Pushing a pebble around to keep himself from looking over at Words. He was afraid of what he'd see. Maybe he'd be kind and take him under his hoof and tell him it's alright, that he'd protect him. Or maybe he scold him and call him a coward. Instead, when he looked back at him, all he saw was a blank, uninterested expression. Not what he had expected.
"Alright then..." Words turned his attention to the building ahead of them. A old style apartment complex with one main entrance and a basement entrance. Four stories high, it was with equal height to the buildings around it. Nothing really special about it, except it was there destination. "Here we are, let's head inside, it's starting to get dark. And trust me, you don't wanna hang around this area after dark. It's not a good idea."
"K." Following him to the main door, Adaptive watched as his friend levitated a key from his saddlebags and unlocked the front door. Held open for him, he traveled inside the antique building, waiting for Words to lead the way again.
"My apartment's just up a few flights of stairs. It's a nice place. It functions as a pretty decent workspace so hopefully we'll get alot done." He headed up the sets of stairs, Adaptive trailing behind as he went. They traveled down a hall to a door numbered '24' before Words pulled out a second key and let them in.
"Here we are. Home sweet home, well, if a workshop in a musty apartment is home that is." Inside the room, Adaptive could see a desk pinned up against the far wall, littered with normal items you'd find on ones workplace. A lamp, pens, paper, a few folders, just the basics. Aside from the desk there was a couch made of an old grey material and a two doors that led to other rooms. Probably the kitchen and the bedroom he assumed.
The walls inside the apartment were blank and boring, aside from a few paint chips and some stains. At the end of the couch closest to the desk, a small coffee table sat. The place wasn't anything too special or memorable, but he liked it. Like Words had said, this space would function well as a office.
"I like it, it's very... direct, I guess is what I'd call it. It's like you know you only come here to work so nothing unneeded is cluttering the area." Adaptive came in and closed the door behind him. "Hey, do you want the door locked?"
"Yeah, that'd probably be for the best. I don't really trust the patrons of this building." After that, Words set his saddlebags by his desk and headed to the door on the left. "You hungry? I haven't eaten yet tonight and figured I should check and see if you have."
"No, I'm fine. Thanks for the offer though." Locking the door, Adaptive walked over to the couch and laid down towards the desk area. "Actually, some water would be nice. If that's okay." Eying his surroundings, he waited for him to come back from the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure thing." Ahead of him, Words floated two glasses and a plate out. One glass of water and the other Adaptive assumed was juice, along with a sandwich. He set the Adaptive's glass on the coffee table before kneeling in front of his desk and placing his own nourishment off to the side.
"So, I have that story I told you about almost finished. I just need a editor, you in this case, to glance it over for me." Words hovered the stack of papers over to him and set them down on the table next to his glass. "Hey, and thanks for coming over to do this as well. I really appreciate the help."
"'Course, no problem bud. I need something to keep me occupied anyways. Figure, I do this and at least I'm helping someone out." He glanced down at the story and started reading through the first page or so. "Hey, do you have a pen or highlighter or something I could mark mistakes with?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry, forgot about that. Here you go." Words passed a yellow highlighter from atop his desk to him and set it beside the papers. "Let me know whenever you finish up editing that for me, I'm going to work on a different project for school while you do that."
"K." With that, the two went to work. Adaptive found all the errors he could and made notes on changes he felt should be made, and Words did research and wrote notes on his own papers. The time passed and what had remained of day had slowly given in to the night. Neither noticed till Adaptive had finished his work and had looked outside to see just how late it was.
"So, I finished editing your story for you and all, but I was wondering... um, what's the plan for tonight?" Nervously, he hadn't liked asking. Adaptive had wanted to simply stay the night, he didn't like to travel at night, but he wasn't sure if it was gonna be okay for him to stay.
"What do you mean?" Words turned to him with a curious gaze upon his face. The looked in his eye showed he didn't pick up on what he had meant with the question.
"I mean like um... well, I don't know if you want me to leave, or just crash on the couch or what." He tried to give a bit of a weak smile, thinking it might help his chances of staying. Even in the slightest. But his eyes couldn't look at him, he was too scared to see his reaction to the request.
"Oh, I don't mean to be a rude host or anything, but I figured you'd go home for the night once we were done working. Did you have other plans?" His soft voice wasn't being harsh with Adaptive, but it had a sort of forceful undertone, like he wanted him to leave, though he wouldn't force him.
"No, no it's, well it's fine. I'll walk home." Taking his leave, Adaptive sat the highlighter on the coffee table and headed for the door. He felt himself start to choke up, like he'd been rejected or something. "I'll..." His voice was much higher than usual so he took a second to calm himself down, "I'll talk to you later." He opened the door and started to make his way out before being stopped by Words' gentle voice.
"Hold on." A teal glow cased over the door and started to close, forcing Adaptive back inside. "You alright, just a minute ago you were fine, now what's up?" Coming over beside him, Words tried to put a hoof on his shoulder, but he shook him off.
"I'm fine, really, just... got a lot going through my mind, you know?" Adaptive's eyes had begun to tear up. 'No dammit, don't cry. I can't look like a pansy in front of him. He'll never like me if he thinks I'm some sort of super emotional freak.' Opening the door again, he avoided looking at his friend as he quickly stepped out the door. Calling back behind him, he stated "Hey, I'll see you at the store again soon. K?"
"Yeah, okay. Are you sure you're alright? If you have something you wanna talk about, I'm more than willing to try and help you through it." Words had stepped into the door way and was watching as he walked down the hall.
"Yeah, I'm okay, I'll see you later." With that, Adaptive turned the corner to head down the stairs and disappeared out of view of Words. Getting to the front exit, he sat beside the door, arguing in his mind if he'd messed up.
'Why'd I have to do that? Why'd I have to go and make things awkward? We were getting along great and now he's gonna think I'm some kind of weirdo. I just... I just really want him to like me, yet I do stuff like that. I'm such a fool.' The tears streamed down his face as he put in perspective just how stupid he must've looked.
Ten minutes went by before he got up again. He wiped the tears away and tried not to think about what he did. But he couldn't, the entire trip home across town, all he could think about was how much he wanted Words to like him and how he probably ruined it today.
Once arriving home, Adaptive went straight to his room and laid down, crying again. Staining his pillow till he eventually just passed out. That night though, his dreams only made it worse. Nightmares haunted him as he slept, piercing his poor psyche with images of rejection, abandonment, and loneliness.
Waking early in the morning, Adaptive didn't leave his bed for some time. He just laid there like a pitiful child. So afraid of the day, of showing up at the store and Words not being there, or ever going there again. Needing to calm himself down before he cried again, he got up and took a shower hoping that would help.
While showering, he tried to break everything that happened last night down, examining every little aspect to try and see how foolish he had looked. He did eventually come to the conclusion he was blowing things out of proportion. 'That night hadn't gone that bad,' he told himself. 'I bet he'll be waiting for me at the store today, he'll probably ask what happened yesterday. But I can't tell him I like him, not yet. I'd just drive him away if he doesn't already like me. I need to wait.'
Half an hour past midday, Adaptive headed back to the bookstore like he had the previous day. Traveling through the door, he seen the same cashier as always standing behind the desk. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Walking over, he wanted to ask if he had been here already, maybe looking for him.
"Um, by chance, did my friend drop by at all today? I told him I'd see him here again sometime." She shook her head no. "Well, maybe he'll drop by sometime today. Is it okay if I just hang around and read some of the magazines in case he shows up?"
"Yeah, of course. Would you like a pad or something to sit on while you wait?" She reached down and pulled a sitting pillow from under her cash register and sat it on the counter.
"Sure, and thanks." He gave her a gentle smile before taking the seat near the back of the store in one of the more open places, hopefully avoiding getting in the way of others using the store. He grabbed a stack of various magazines and started to read through some as the day slowly drifted away.
At first, he was confident Words would show up. Thinking there was no way he wouldn't. That, as his friend, he mattered too much to not show. But as the hours slowly went by, his stack of magazines, which had been dwindling down, came to a halt. He couldn't read thinking he wasn't going to show up.
'How could he not show up? I really need him here. I want him here now. If only I'd have stayed last night and explained myself, he might've understood and maybe liked me back.' Realizing that he was working himself up again, Adaptive tried to calm himself down. 'Come on Adaptive, snap out of it. He's just a friend. Nothing more, but also nothing less. Be positive. He'll show up, just not today. Maybe he got sidetracked with his school work or something. Just avoid thinking about him.
It had started to work, but it was too late. Once he felt himself start to cry, he'd never been able to avoid it. Even in school, he'd always go hide in a bathroom stall so people wouldn't see him. It was something he knew was going to happen and so he did his best to steer clear of others when he was like this.
Feeling himself start to choke up again, he gathered the items lent to him by the cashier and headed back to the front. She was in the other room, so he just placed the pad on the desk and put the magazines away before silently taking his leave.
Not wanting to be seen crying in public, he just hurried home and went back to his room. The rest of the night went almost the same as the last, but this time he wasn't haunted by nightmares of rejection, instead, he didn't dream at all. Or at least he didn't remember any of them.