The harsh white lights bore down on him relentlessly. His shadow sat unmoving, oblivious to its surroundings. It seemed like an eternity to him, just sitting there and listening to the rhythmic sound of her breath. For how many hours had he been sitting there? Her soft chest moved up and down in a neverending reiteration, taunting his broken mind. Her body seemed so alive and yet her mind did not react to any of his words. He slowly stood up, sick and tired of sitting for so long. His legs felt stiff and his neck seemed to have corroded. Not the long time of sitting had been the reason for his body getting exhausted, but having to watch her like this for so long.
Her face was a beautiful sight to behold. His face was only hovering inches above hers, looking upon her empty expression. It still only resulted in the same pain piercing his heart.
He stretched momentarily and started to walk away, but he didn’t leave the room. No, he would never leave Sweet again. However, he wasn’t able to bear seeing her anymore. Not like this. Still, his mind forced him to turn around again, to just gaze upon her beauty for a second. Would he ever experience her loving smile again? Would he ever be able to comfort her or show her his affection again?
Slowly, these questions turned into daggers, piercing his heart with every step he took. They caused him to stop at her side. His legs lost the ability to keep his weight up and he dropped his heavy body onto her bed. Her face still bedazzled him as it did each and every time he laid his eyes upon her. His gaze slowly wandered along her soft, long hair. He quickly looked away again as he realized where his eyes were heading: The bandages covering the wounds Shattered… No, he had caused. He still could not forgive himself and probably never would.
Suddenly he found himself standing in a certain alley once again, looking at his darling being cut apart by vicious blades controlled by a maniac. He shook his head ferociously and yet the image remained. Only the sudden sound of coughing pulled him out of his grim imagination. He looked upon his special somepony, HOPING that it had been more than just coughing. Her eyes however, were still sealed.
What he had done was unforgivable. It was unforgettable, even by Crystalline’s holy waters. No, he didn’t WANT to forget it. It would remind him of what was right and what was wrong. He didn’t deserve the privilege of ignorance. His gaze slowly wandered back to her closed eyes. Would she ever forgive him? Would she ever even get the chance to forgive him?
She only ignored his words, calmly lying there. She wouldn’t forgive him, and he hated himself for even assuming there was a chance for forgiveness. Even through all of his efforts, his eyes slowly began feeling wet. It would rip himself apart to stay here and yet he couldn’t leave his darling. He had never known such pain. The pain of having betrayed whom he loved. He could no longer hold the tears back.
“H… Hey Sweety.”
It felt stupid talking to her like this and yet it felt like the right thing to do. It calmed his agitated mind, even though he knew that she could not hear him. Leaving those words behind would not make anything undone, but just maybe he could finally speak what had to be said. Maybe there was a slight chance that she heard it after all…
“I… I am not sure how to begin this...
Do you remember when we used to lie under the thick branches of the hazelnut tree in front of your house? We used to wonder how such a giant tree could rise from such little seeds. We used to wonder about what beautiful things we would encounter in our lives, and what the future would bring. I think that now we know.”
He couldn’t hold back the bitter laughter that had crept up on him.
“We had seen the world with different eyes. We had seen beauty and opportunity where we now see the grim face of destruction. The hardest thing about it is, that I know that I was the pony to destroy our beautiful world.
I… I want you to know that I am sorry… I am so sorry…”
“I… I didn’t want it to end like this. I… I just wanted to forget my troubles. Now I can see that forgetting your troubles is no solution. Why hadn’t I seen it before?! So much pain could have been avoided… You, out of all ponies, had to suffer for my stupidity.
Sweety, I can not make anything undone. I can not bring you back… “
He couldn’t continue as the pain grew too big to bear. Only after a minute of sobbing, he made an attempt to say what had to be said.
“T… Th… There is no greater pain that the knowledge of having betrayed you. I am so sorry…
There is no day passing by without me falling in despair. There is no hour passing by without my mind torturing me with what has happened. There is no second passing by without thinking my heart being ripped apart by guilt. On some days… On some days I wish… I wish I had died…”
Her rhythmic breath continued steadily. The wind was still howling outside. How could the world just go on like this?
“Without you, I am lost… Do you remember when I first said that? It had been the day of our first date. For the entirety of it, I had acted like a fool. And still you helped me up, showed me the way to your heart and I gave you mine. I think I am lost once again… I wish you could show me the way…”
Her chest just kept on moving relentlessly, her eyes still shut. He wished her nice dreams.
“It… It was all my fault, Sweet Fire. I… I have ignored you, failed you, betrayed you. There is no apology that could justify what I have done. I… I just want you to know that I am sorry. I love you…”
His voice faded as he spoke these last words. Maybe this was the last time that he spoke these words, the last time that he was able to feel anything but pain. His mind slowly drifted away, away from harsh reality. Away to better times, to calming times. Away to her.
The sun shone brightly upon him, but it only conveyed the warmth of a summer’s day. There were even some birds chirping in the trees along his road. He had left his worries behind him. The sweet smell of freshly baked cupcakes flowed through the town. In the distance, there was an orchestra playing a beautiful melody. It was the perfect day to ask her.
He had prepared everything and yet he felt like a little foal in the big world. He would take her out to a noble restaurant and there he would ask her. It would be the perfect mood, the perfect moment. They would stare each other in the eyes and then he would… Suddenly a wild shadow jumped out of the bushes to his right, causing him to fall over.
“Hey! Swift! We need to find the thing at the place!”
“AH!! … Oh, hi Sweet. You startled me. The what at the where?”
“No time to explain, its arms aren’t going to reattach on their own!”
“Wait, wha-”
“Come on, let’s go!”
Sweet Fire charged off towards an unknown goal. Swift felt his plans shatter before his eyes and yet he couldn’t be angry at her. She was as playful as always, worked up in another of her crazy schemes.They turned corners, dashed through alleys, and hit numerous dead ends. She continued searching however, determined to find… “Sweet, what are you looking for?” Swift said, breathing heavily.
“Over the bridge and through the woods, there we shall find the tin pony in the gingerbread house! He lost his arms while eating his christmas pie and needs our help getting put back together. The king and his men couldn’t do it, so it’s up to us. He’ll pay us in plums, but the prize doesn’t matter and can wait because if it were done, best it were done quickly!”
“...Oh.” That took more than a moment to register in his mind, and Swift wondered if he had heard her right. It had been more of a stream of random words than anything coherent.
They raced past various old houses, reaching the end of town. Where was she going? And how in the hay did she come up with such an obscene idea? She continued galloping down the dirt road, looking every which way, becoming more frantic as she galloped on.
Sweet Fire began to slowly lose motivation. Where was the tin pony? The gingerbread house seemed to have gone amiss. Maybe the seventh king would know... She would just need to find the fox fire, which had been stolen by the master of the iron throne. Although that would probably require her to free the five, which would result in the upheaval of the factory of rainbows. Then again, she could ask the whispering dreams of the mirrored world. Suddenly she realized that they were both were standing in another dead-end.
“Sweet?” Swift asked, worried about her sudden exorbitant demeanor.
Sweet Fire suddenly stopped walking and just stood there, hanging her head. Swift walked around her, and brushed away her mane to reveal a tear soaked face. Swift embraced her, nuzzling her neck.
“I… I don’t know … I … “
“Shhh… I am here for you.”
Suddenly she stopped and looked into his eyes. He knew that he would never forget the sight of her watered eyes looking at him in hope and trust.
“I will always be there for you.”
Slowly she moved herself even closer to him, her beautiful eyes still gazing at him. She was the most beautiful pony he had ever seen. He had known it for many years, however now it became most obvious. He really loved her. Although his plans had been destroyed, it still felt like the perfect moment. Any moment together with her felt like the perfect moment to ask her.
“Sweet Fire?”
“Yes?” Her smile almost left him wordless. Now was the moment, now or never.
“Do… Do you want to be my special somepony?”
“YES!”
He could have sighed in relief if there had not been a mare jumping him over, throwing them both down into the soft bushes. He suddenly found himself lying on the ground, her head only inches away from his. She slowly approached and he couldn’t help but to close his eyes and do the same. Her soft lips caused his mind to explode in joy and love and desire. The whole world seemed to fade and it was just her and him, together in a soft bed of nature…
His memories were all that could console him.
…
No more adventures, happiness or love.
…
No more comforting, no more playful cheer, no more wonderful images of her mind.
...
No more Sweet Fire.
…
Swift Haven was dragged out of his thoughts when he heard a small noise, and looked up…
“Sweet Fire…” he whispered.