//------------------------------// // S3E1: The Crystal Empire, Part 1 // Story: My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic // by swirlstar //------------------------------// Season 3 Episode 1 – The Crystal Empire, Part 1 “Welcome to Election Night: Ponyville decides; we're back in front of Town Hall on this historic night I’m Timberwolf Blitzer- ” “And I’m Racer Meadow. Wow, Timberwolf: what a ride it’s been for Ponyville!” “Indeed, Racer and I think we’re all relieved that it’s coming to a close; very stressful cycle for everypony involved, voters no doubt remembering the government shutdown, riots and the continuing State of Emergency- ” “Not that the result is in any doubt, of course: Mayor Mare now running uncontested, exit polls showing 95% in favor- ” “Indeed Racer; the question is now 'what happens next' after the election, voters clearly wanting an end to the chaos of the past term... ” “The key may well lie with opposition leader Lyra Heartstrings, currently detained indefinitely for treason: still has some swing over voters- ” “Speaking of which, Racer, we also need to remember that there is also a referendum in this election about the abolition of the Ponyville Legislative Council; exit polls showing 85% in favour. So is democracy dead in- “ “Uh, going to have to stop you there, Timberwolf: we’re going to Town Hall, where the results are about to be announced…” * Mayor Mare’s Office, Town Hall, Ponyville Decisive hoofsteps ringing, one by one, around the marbled corridor, the light peeking through the crevices in the far-off door, a tantalizing glance at the paradise behind. All those trials and tribulations from the previous term, the near-deaths and the close-runs… and Mayor Mare had survived. And now here she was, stood before the glowing doorway, a nervous hoof pushing forwards, pushing open, the panels bowing down of their own accord, trumpets sounding, laurelled pegasi dashing to and fro from the high rafters: “Hail, Mayor, hail...” “Hi, Mayor.” Finance Secretary Bit Coin really liked popping delusions. The Mayor was going to have to talk to her about that. “Greetings, Mayor,” Secretary for Administration swooped in, unctuous grace oozing from every pore. “And hearty congratulations indeed for returning to Town Hall.” “Me too,” Security Chief Delta Force added, hastily tossing his half-chewed cigarette out of the window. “Thank you,” Mayor Mare slid into her rightful leather seat, oaken desk and the golden name-plaque still bearing her name. “Well, tough election cycle, and I'm glad it's over.” “It was indeed,” the gray Secretary for Administration bowed again, slowly erasing out memories of his sabotage. “Despite all our valiant, hard work.” “And all our attempts to prevent disaster,” the red Security Chief added. “Not to mention all the emphasis on government secrecy,” the chestnut Finance Secretary concluded. “But we all believed in you, Mayor; we really did!” Mayor Mare waved a forgiving hoof around. “Oh, I’m certain of that,” she lied. “Won’t be changing the cabinet much anyway – it was my fault for not listening to you ponies last term.” “It was indeed, politely said, a disaster,” the gray bureaucrat concurred. “And I trust that you are well dispossessed of these notions.” “You can say that again,” the gray-maned mare chuckled as she set aside the introductory folder that she obviously didn’t need. “Anyway, to business. We need goals for this term.” “Ah yes,” Crimson Ribbon said as he took out a notepad and a quill. “The theme.” The bespectacled mare surveyed her court. "I'm open for bids." There was really only one obvious answer. “Well,” Bit Coin began. “Ponyville was clearly badly torn apart during the last term. So we really need to get ourselves back on track, right the boat, that stuff. We need reconciliation.” "Hm." The tan pony closed her eyes and nodded. Reconciliation. A good, upbeat theme, fits in well with the doctrine of Harmony and most importantly, doesn’t translate into a list of painful, concrete actions. What more could she ask for? “I agree with reconciliation,” Delta Force responded irrelevantly. The more she thought about it, the better the Mayor felt. “Good, good. Mr. Ribbon, let’s go with 'reconciliation'.” “As you wish, Ma’am… ” Crimson Ribbon’s voice trailed off as a sudden thought hit him. He shrugged and carried on. Surely the Mayor must have realized it... The Agenda: 1. LONG-TERM – Foster reconciliation in Ponyville [ ] But just to make sure. “You do know what reconciliation implies, Mayor,” the gray-maned stallion remarked. “It means I’ll end the State of Emergency by dusk.” “No cigar,” the Secretary of Administration led on. “Ponies take it as a given that you will do that. You're not conceding anything.” Obviously hadn't thought this through. How typical. Mayor Mare frowned. "What do you mean." "Well you have to sacrifice in reconciliation. And said sacrifice needs to be quite big here, something that would prove to ponies that you're serious about it." Bit Coin was suddenly enlightened. “Ohh… “ The bespectacled mare remained in the dark. “Well, there’s the Equestrian Games coming up. We’ll make it more glamorous than it's ever been before: showcase our unity to the whole nation.” “That's long-term, Ma’am; we need something more immediate. You want the ponies to have confidence in your administration, yes?” “They already do.” "Ponies have short memories, Mayor," the chestnut mare entered the fray. “We need something to sustain your momentum, something that would say to Ponyville: ‘I am serious about uniting this town!’” Mayor Mare couldn’t help but notice that her Finance Secretary seemed quite passionate about the subject. Crimson Ribbon cut windingly and exasperatingly to his point. “I’m thinking of one pony whom you'll need, Ma’am.” The gray-maned mare scratched her head in thought. One pony? She knew two mares who wielded major influence- Oh dear. “Is it… is it…” The politician shuddered at the awful thought. The Secretary for Administration beamed. “It's not Ms. Sparkle, Ma’am.” * Ponyville Detention Center, Ponyville “Prisoner Number 0132,” the jailer droned emotionlessly as keys jangled into an iron door. “I’ll be at the entrance, Ma’am. Be careful.” “I’ll be fine, Mr. Clank,” Mayor Mare reassured as the iron door opened, the metal squealing as it swung open to reveal the horrors inside: whitewashed walls, sunlight streaming from a large bay window, piles of books on fine furniture, red cushions on the panelled floor and atop an ornate bed… wait, what? “Mr. Clank! I’d like another milkshake pl- ” Lyra Heartstrings turned and saw not her pliant jailer, but her actual jailer. Her furious scowl was quite predictable. “Oh.” The tan pony wheeled incredulously back at Mr. Clank. “This is a prison?” A somewhat-apologetic shrug. “We can't mistreat an invitee of Her Highness. The Princess would have never invited her if she was bad.” “B-but… ” the Mayor spluttered. “But she’s collaborated with the enemy!” “Oh great,” Lyra threw up her hooves angrily. “So is that why you’re here, Mayor? You want to make sure a noose is around my neck?” The bespectacled mare gritted her teeth. “You know, that’s not such a bad-“ Stop, Mayor; remember what you’re here to do... A deep breath. “Okay. We got off on very much the wrong hoof here, so let’s start again." She cleared her throat. "Hello, Ms. Heartstrings.” The unicorn turned back to her books. “Hi.” “How are you feeling- “ “Why don’t you just cut the horse dung and tell me why you’re here.” Mayor Mare suppressed her incandescent emotions. “I’m trying very hard to be nice, Lyra.“ “Nice enough to throw me into jail without reason.” “Which, by the looks of it, seems quite a nice place...“ Lyra tapped her hoof irritably. “Just get to it.” A pause. Part of Mayor Mare was desperately clawing at her brain, howling with vengeful bloodlust, screaming for the punishment to continue. Wasn’t Lyra the horse that made the Mayor’s life such misery? Didn’t Lyra threaten not only her, but also her daughter, friends, associates? And didn’t Lyra… The other part of her was fighting back with equal vigor, utilizing every rational weapon in its arsenal. Isn’t this supposed to be for the good of Ponyville? And isn’t this the best way to get back at her? Isn’t this the best time to show what a good- “Ms. Lyra Heartstrings, do you want to be deputy Mayor?” The world stopped on a bit. “New position. Just for you. We can discuss responsibilities later.” The lime-green pony's ears wiggled about, as if she – justifiably – could not believe what she had heard. She wisely kept her back turned to the Mayor. “What?” “I said: ‘Ms. Lyra Heartstrings, do you want to be- ’” “Deputy Mayor?” the opposition jailbird gave a dry laugh. “You think I want to work under you?” “Well look, you can either accept it or stay here- “ “Great. More stupid threats.” Another uncomfortable silence. The gray-maned mare was feeling more and more like an actress in a movie. “Come on, Lyra. Don’t do it for me. Do it for Ponyville.” The lime-green pony opened a book and began to flip through the pages. “I need you out there, Lyra,” the Mayor continued. “Without you, Ponyville’s wounds are never going to heal... ” The relentless rustling of book leaves. “…look, it was partially my fault.” Mayor Mare began doling out concessions. “I shouldn’t have introduced all that democracy without testing it beforehand. I'm sorry.” There. Are you happy now?! Lyra remained buried in her reading. The bespectacled mare sighed. “Well it’s a lot to take in, I guess. Just tell me whenever you feel like it. Mr. Clank!” “Yes, Ma’am. Come out and I’ll shut the door.” “Right,” Mayor Mare replied as she stepped out of- “When do I start?” Lyra Heartstrings asked. * Mayor Mare’s Office, Town Hall, Ponyville The new cabinet assembled before her: Lyra Heartstrings, Crimson Ribbon, Bit Coin and Delta Force. Desultory introductions. “Now, to the real work,” the bespectacled mare began. “The current goals of this administration- “ “Administrative reform,” Deputy Heartstrings butted in. “There’s a lot of waste here that can be- “ “We’ve already chosen the goals of this administration, Ms. Heartstrings,” Crimson Ribbon cut her off. “It's reconciliation.” The lime-green pony sank back into her seat and crossed her forelegs, her face conveying infinite displeasure. Mayor Mare continued uneasily. “Right. So there’s a lot of stuff where we can start trying to repair the cracks in our town. Symbolic things, you know: Equestrian Games, foreign delegations… ” “A Summer Harvest Parade?” Lyra suggested. She was actually being quite helpful- “What?” Crimson Ribbon spluttered derisively. “Only farmers go to those things... ” The lime-green pony growled, dark suspicions slowly bubbling to the surface. “Well we can make it a big deal. Extra special. Floats and everything.” “Right. Another expense for our infinite budget, no doubt- “ “And the Equestrian Games are going to cost how much, again?- “ The aristocratic bureaucrat bristled slightly at being so directly challenged; not something that he was accustomed to from Mayor Mare. Only one solution. “Mayor Mare,” he turned to his superior. “I believe you should decide as to the utility of- “ Lyra’s face turned beet red. “Hey!” she stomped on the floor in a fit of rage, prompting a frightened squeal from the Finance Secretary. “I’m Deputy Mayor now! You will answer me!” Decades of civil service had inured this gray stallion to the temper-tantrums of foalish politicians. “Public festivities are not within your purview, Ms. Heartstrings. Now Ma’am,” he bowed towards Mayor Mare. “Please decide- “ "Then what is in my purview?" Lyra interrupted brusquely, steam escaping from her ears. Crimson Ribbon sighed. "I don't know, Ms. Heartstrings. Now Ma'am- " "Mayor!" The lime-green pony swooped in between the bureaucrat and the tan pony, hooves slamming onto the desk. “I’m not going to be window-dressing, Mayor,” the warned, her voice soft and eerily threatening. “You'll tell me – now – what responsibilities I have.” Gulp. The Mayor wilted somewhat before Lyra Heartstrings’ looming figure. She had banked on having more time to make up formally prestigious yet practically powerless roles she could dole out to this historical enemy. “Well,” the bespectacled mare chuckled tersely, leaning back all the while. “Legally we've made you the Secretary of the Cabinet.” The unicorn narrowed her eyes. No words required. Oh come on! “You get to talk to the press and defend the government from scurrilous accusations.” “Mayor.” Please don’t make me choose... “You also get to be acting Mayor while I’m away- “ “Mayor Mare,” the lime-green pony growled. “I think I should resi- “ “No no, don’t do that!” the bespectacled mare instinctively grabbed her nemesis’ hoof, grinning in faux amity. “Ms. Heartstrings: we really need some time to figure this out... look. In the meantime, why don’t you take control of… um… Land?” Technically in charge of all land within Ponyville. Practically only in charge of those small slivers of government property. Probably the best call. Lyra considered it as she drew back in conciliation, mulling over the offer. “We need time, Lyr- Ms. Heartstrings,” the Mayor repeated. “Please.” The unicorn huffed. “Fine, Mayor,” she conceded. “For now.” The tan pony sighed in relief. “Thank you, Ms. Heartstrings,” she said, extending a hoof.