By the time the train pulled into the station, I was where I was at usually much later in the day—rocked off my flank and barely able to stand on all fours. I don’t remember much about the ceremony, except about how I kept embarrassing myself, wondering when the drink cart was coming by. Ponies telling me to act like an adult and to quit being such a mule. I remember Sherry’s name being announced. I remember cheering, calling her name, and hoping up and down on my front hooves. I stumbled and have no idea what happened next, but I found myself sitting on my flank in the dirt outside the school gymnasium, with some other pony’s fur under my hooves. I had taken a few licks myself, but at least it looked like I gave better than I got.
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Every long-term drunk has some story (or, if you’re like me, maybe a whole bunch of them) of where some invisible line gets crossed. And whatever happens after that, you’ve give anything to take back, for it never to have happened. Maybe, if you’re lucky, your memory of what happens is blotted out, and all you have to deal with are maybe some angry stares and maybe pay a fine. Alcohol can be merciful that way.
That’s if you’re lucky. Me, I wasn’t so lucky. I remember exactly what happened after that. The graduation was over and ponies had been spilling out of the auditorium. I got myself to my hooves and noticed the angry and indignant stares from ponies that passed.
“Auntie Berry! Auntie Berry! Over here!”
I had to rear up on my hind legs to see her. Probably not a good idea in the state I was in. I stumbled and almost fell over again. I righted myself just as Sherry and Merry came up to me. Merry was delighted and was practically bouncing on her hooves. She still had her cap and gown on and was carrying her diploma in a new saddlebag. My sister, Sherry, was holding back. She didn’t look very happy to see me and didn’t say anything.
Merry came up to me and nuzzled me on the cheek. I nuzzled her back and ignored my sister. Merry had grown since I’d last seen her. She was a full grown mare!
“Look Auntie Berry!” Merry reached back and pulled her diploma from her saddlebag and she held it in her mouth for me to see. They had apparently paid extra for framing. It was beautiful! The frame was carefully polished silver and the diploma was protected behind a pane of glass. I don’t know why I did what I did. I should’ve just left her hold onto it. Instead, I sat back on my haunches and reached out for it.
Sherry took a step forward. “Berry…no.”
I heard her but I ignored her. I took the diploma in my hooves to study it more closely. My vision was blurry and I just wanted to bring it closer to my face. But I lost my balance. I put one hoof on the ground to right myself, and Merry’s diploma, that she had worked four years for, tumbled to the ground.
That was the moment I’d give anything to have back. The frame hit the ground and shattered.
For a moment, I just sat there as if staring would somehow reassemble the shards of glass. The diploma seemed intact, but the frame was destroyed. The mirror-polished frame was ruined where it had hit the ground. It was a thing of beauty and I had destroyed it.
“Auntie Berry…” I was afraid to face Merry.
“I’m sorry…”
“Auntie Berry…” I could hear her starting to cry. I don’t know which was worse—the sound of the frame breaking or the sound of my niece crying.
Thankfully, my sister came up and stood between us. “Go wait in the carriage, Merry.” I watched a crying Merry disappear into the crowd. What was the big deal? I was sure they’d replace it. I turned back Sherry. Ready again to apologize and promise to pay for a new…
…but I was greeted by Sherry’s hoof right across my jaw. I didn’t see it coming and I took the full force of her punch, with only my inebriation to soften the blow. Thank Celestia she wasn’t wearing shoes! All four legs of mine buckled and I landed flat on my tummy. I, the Great Berry Punch, just got flattened by her younger sister! Now, she was practically standing over me.
“You’re nothing but a lush! A worthless drunk!” She pounded a hoof on the ground with each sentence. “You embarrassed Merry! You embarrassed me! You’re an embarrassment to the family!”
“I…I…” I looked around for something, anything, to divert her rage away from me. I saw families passing us by in a hurry, each one pretending not to notice. I sat on my flank on the floor and hung my head. I sniffed, I choked, and though I tried to hold it back, I started to sob. Big, fat, drunken tears of anguish. “I’m sorry…I’m sure they’ll give her another one. I’ll explain…”
“Forget it! Just stay away. Stay away forever!” Sherry picked up her daughter’s diploma and walked away, into the crowd. I caught a last glimpse of her face. She no longer looked mad, but wore a weird, neutral expression. Like she was looking at a bug, trying to decide whether to squish it flat.
I don’t know how long I sat there, tears in my eyes and chocking back ragged sobs. I don’t even know why I sat there for so long. Maybe I saw it as penance. Maybe I was hoping someone would take pity and try to comfort me. But no one stopped. Eventually, the crowd thinned out and I was alone.
I heard the train whistle so I hoisted myself up and trudged back to the station. It was getting dark and there weren’t many other ponies around. Good. I didn’t want anypony to see me. I was a wreck. My mane was a mess and my new dress was stained with tears, wine, and vomit.
I boarded the last car where I could be alone for the trip. My purse was gone and I didn’t have any money, but maybe I’d get lucky and the conductor wouldn’t come back this far. If not, maybe my pathetic act would get me a free pass. Maybe I’d have to resort to threats.
The whistle sounded and the train lurched. The station, and then the Phillydelphia scenery started to pass by—for good. I was never coming back. Soon we left the city and entered the countryside and my mood started to improve. Pinchy would be asleep but Carrot would still be up with a hot toddy, or maybe a pot of spiced wine, waiting. She’d ask what happened to me and I’d tell her what I always told her: that I got drunk and made a complete mule of myself. She’d laugh and we’d sip drinks and I’d lie about how wonderful everything went. Carrot was like that. Sometimes I’d wish she was my sister. But then I think about what I put my family through and I’m glad she isn’t. I couldn’t wish that on her. In spite of all that had happened, I smiled.
I must have dozed off because my next memory was of the conductor standing over me.
“May I have your ticket…ma’am?”
It was the conductor from the first trip--no doubt pulling a double shift. Same round pince-nez glasses and same muttonchop sideburns. And the way he said “ma’am” indicated that he recognized me, and wasn’t none too happy about it. What did I ever do to him? There were other ponies around, watching. Some were holding diplomas—nearly identical to the one I had ruined. I’m sure the conductor had heard the whispers of the drunken mare who had ruined their graduation. I stood, stumbling to put words together.
“Oh! Well…uh. You see…my purse…”
“That’s none of my concern, ma’am. If you can’t pay then you can’t ride.
Oh well…in for a dime, in for a dollar. I’d give him a little shove to show him I wasn’t in the mood. I’d promise to pay him triple on my next ride, and that would set things right.
No so. From out of nowhere, two of the biggest, meanest-looking stallions I had ever looked upon flanked the conductor. And the expressions they wore said that their intentions were just as ugly as their faces.
A change in plan was definitely in order.
“You’re either going to pay me now, miss, or you’re going to have to get off the train.” To push the issue, the two big guys stepped forward and stood between me and the conductor. I looked out the window. The scenery was moving by pretty fast and the ground looked pretty hard. I doubted they were going to stop the train and allow me to disembark in a ladylike fashion.
Quickly, I put a plan together. I put on the sweetest, most innocent air I could muster. “I’m afraid I simply don’t have any money. I’m sure we can come to some…other...arrangement.” I didn’t know if I would go through with it, but it turned out to not even matter.
“That won’t do miss.”
The two stallions advanced. Plan ‘B’ came into effect. I brushed my hoof under the chin of the bigger stallion. “Don’t you even want to know my name, sweetness?” I may be old and rough around the edges, but I can still put on the charm if I want to. I wiggled my flank and let my tail swish back and forth. I took a look at his cutie mark. It was a sledgehammer. The other guy’s was a bundle of TNT. Not good.
The big stallion looked me up and down while his friend checked out my ass. I actually thought they were going for it. But the big guy narrowed his eyes. “And what’s your name?” He wasn’t buying my act, but it gave me the opening I needed.
“It’s Berry…”
Fighting in a ring ain’t like fighting in the real world. In the ring, there are rules, and nothing happens until both parties are ready. Out here, anything goes. If it’s gonna’ happen, it’s gonna’ happen. Ready or not. Talking only puts off the inevitable. If a fight is coming, don’t delay it. Hit first. Hit fast. Make it count. And hit last.
“…PUNCH!”
It was a good hit. It got him right in the mouth and he went down like a sack of oats. I may have even broken his jaw, with no damage at all to myself. Hoofs are good for that kind of thing. That left the conductor and his other goon. No amount of training or skill can fend off a bums’ rush. The element of surprise was gone and the bruiser was on top of me, pinning my hooves to the floor. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, ready for the beating that I knew was coming. Instead, he hoisted me up and tossed me out the door, that I’m sure the conductor was gracious enough to hold open for me. I bounced off the ground and tumbled. They didn’t even slow the train down. My dress tore while dirt and shards of glass got matted in my fur. When I finally stopped I didn’t even open my eyes, I just lay there, spread eagled on the ground, and groaned. I was getting too old for this crap. When I finally opened my eyes, I watched the last train to Ponyville disappear into the distance.
Some ponies just don’t know how to treat a lady.