//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1 - Recruited 
// Story: Pinkie Pie - Secret Agent 314 
// by ZapAppleBloom 
//------------------------------//

	A light pink mare hopped down the street excitedly. Her poofy magenta mane flopped up and down as she bounced along, bearing a striking resemblance to cotton candy. She hopped from pony to pony, greeting each accordingly.

"Gooood morning today, Miss Cheerilee!" she greeted a pinkish-reddish mare as she hopped by.

"Hey, Applebloom! Getting an early start on Crusading today, huh? Can't forget Sweetie Belle! Or you, Scootaloo! Keep flappin' those wings! I know you'll get it soon!"

"Morning, Ditzy Doo! Whoops!" She scooped up an envelope that had fallen from Ditzy Doo's saddle bags and handed it back to the grateful mare. "Gotta keep an eye on those envelopes, or they'll all fly away!" the pink pony said, before turning and hopping into Sugarcube Corner.

She was met at the door by a very flustered-looking Mrs. Cake.

"Oh, there you are, Pinkie Pie! Right on time for work, just like usual!" She cast a nervous grin over her shoulder at a midnight blue stallion standing inside the confectionary.

"Huh?" Pinkie asked, confused. "Mrs. Cake, I'm almost late by mfff!" Pinkie was abruptly cut off as Mrs. Cake covered her mouth with one hoof.

"Oh, Pinkie, what are you talking about? You're never late! Perfect timing, every day for the last ten years!"

Pinkie shrugged. If Mrs. Cake wanted to pretend Pinkie had a perfect work record, that was fine with her.

"Oh, Pinkie! How rude of me! Meet our, um, guest, Mr. Midnight Moonbeam," Mrs. Cake said, anxiously tugging on the collar of her apron.

The dark blue stallion stepped forward and extended a front hoof to shake one of Pinkie's. "Very nice to meet you, Ms. Pie. I assume you have no idea why I'm here. Well, long story short, I'm from Canterlot. I work for the Equestrian Secret Operation Services. I'm the Director's secretary and assistant. As I am sure many of you folk from Canterlot probably don't know, I may as well go ahead and tell you that the Director is Celestia."

Pinkie smiled and shook the stallion's hoof up and down vigorously. "Wow, that's great! I'm so glad that, being a super rich fancy Canterlot unicorn and all, you got to go to college and you're Celestia's secretary now! I could probably NEVER do that! You see, Earth ponies don't typically go to college, as most of us are too mentally incompetent to comprehend half of our daily lives anyway, so what's the point of college? In Ponyville, only a few unicorns get to go to college, and the teachers are so under-educated that even the brightest unicorns barely learn anything anyway. I heard in Cloudsdale, Canterlot gives them a lot more government support money for being the biggest Pegasus city and all, and they put most of their money toward education, and so allllll the pegasi get to go to college, but they all just get really weak degrees like cloud kicking or filling clouds with rain, so, yet again, another reason college in Equestria is pointless. Oh, if you're here for some citizen survey thing to improve our daily lives, being the caring government that you all are, could ya maybe tell Celestia that if she's gonna give us a buncha educational government support, at least give us good educators and mentally competent ponies? That would be reeeeally helpful of you bigwig politicians up in the big city."

Midnight Moonbeam staggered and took a step backwards. "Woah. For a 'mentally incompetent' Earth pony, you sure do seem to be able to wrap your mind around the Equestrian educational system. Sadly, no, that's not why I'm here. But, in the meantime, I'm sure you can relay all that information to Celestia yourself very soon."

Mrs. Cake abruptly interrupted the smooth flow of Midnight Moonbeam asking a question and Pinkie responding with an award-winning philosophical theoretical explaination of the Equestrian government. "Um, excuse me, Mr. Moonbeam, but do you mean you're taking Pinkie to... Canterlot? I really don't think we'll be able to take care of Sugarcube Corner without her. And who would watch the twins?" She pointed a hoof at Pound and Pumpkin Cake, who were being good little silly foals and banging wooden blocks together.

Midnight held out a hoof reassuringly. "Don't worry, ma'am. We can send some ponies to help compensate for the loss of one employee."

Mrs. Cake narrowed her eyes, clearly not convinced. "Are you sure your fancy shmancy Canterlot ponies can fully compensate for Pinkie here? She can bake a batch of perfect cupcakes in ten minutes flat. Are you sure your sophisticated unicorns with all their fancy magic are ready to take on that?"

Midnight Moonbeam sighed. "Ma'am, we will supply as many employees as needed until you have been fully compensated for Pinkie here, if not over-compensated. Ms. Pie, if you're ready, there's a chariot parked outside to take you to Canterlot. I'll explain your mission on the way there. Pack your bags, say goodbye, take all the time you need. Just be ready to leave by noon." He hastily exited to prepare the chariot.

Now that Midnight Moonbeam, also known as the intimidating government official, was gone, Pinkie turned to Mrs. Cake. "Why were you so nervous when I came in? He's just a government pony. And it's no use lying to them about my work schedule 'cause they're watching all the time and they'll find out the truth eventually."

Mrs. Cake stared at Pinkie incredulously. "Pinkie, don't you see? That's just it! He's from the government. He's here to recruit you for some probably very high-paying job, and those Canterlot ponies care about schedules and timing more than just about anything else."

Pinkie shrugged and trotted around Sugarcube Corner, packing her belongings in her saddle bags for the trip. She was just about to trot out the door when Mrs. Cake noticed two suspicious-looking lumps in Pinkie's saddle bags, and some brown and orange fur sticking out from under the flaps.

"Pinkie..." she sighed. "You can't take the twins with you." Pinkie lifted the flap of her saddlebag and placed the twins back on the ground with a sheepish grin before heading out the door to the chariot.

"Have fun, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake called after her. "And don't forget to bruuuuuuush!"