//------------------------------// // This is the fun part // Story: It only gets weirder-er // by Aiet //------------------------------// “Clear!” THUMP. … THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, Thump, thump. Mixed noises filled my ears and a violent coughing fit shook me back to reality. Water sprayed out my mouth as my eyes opened slowly and light blinded me. “Sir! Are you with me? You’ve been in an accident, do you understand?” Slowly fuzzy shapes and figures came into focus. An EMT leaned into my field of sight. “You're going to be fine sir.” I felt hands on my frozen flesh and a sudden weightless feeling as I was lifted off the ground. People and background swarmed in and out my vision as I tired to figure out what had happened. An accident? Raising water and an upside down cab flashed in my head as I realized what was going on. Thump, thump, thUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. “Sir I need you to calm down!' An EMT said somewhere in the distance as I tried sitting up as hands firmly pressed down on me. Little talking ponies, cake, Pony-Gra, war, cake! Travis. I looked around as I was rolled on a gurney to find my best friend while a mask with flowing oxygen was placed on my face. Bodies obstructed my view but before I was placed in an ambulance I got a glimpse past them. A stocky cop pulled up a zipper on a black bag on another gurney as I was loaded up and the doors closed. He was gone... and none of that had ever happened. I closed my eyes as a loud knock sounded on the doors to the ambulance. “Sir I need you to stay awake so you can answer some questions for me.” I opened my eyes again to see the stocky cop sitting next to me. He had a white handle bar mustache but didn't look older then thirty. Dirty tan skin and beady little red and yellow eyes. Couldn't this wait? “If a man rode into town on a horse on Friday and left three days later on Friday how did he do it?” the cop looked down at me with a serious face as if the question would decided my fate. “... the horses name is Friday...” I managed to say as the cops eyes got wide. Then he started to laugh uncountably and holding his stomach as it started to unravel. Soon the cop turned into one long strip that swelled up while the inside of the ambulance melted away. “Correct!” finally the swollen strip took form and Discord sat by me. He wiped a tear away from his eye as he looked down at me. “Well aren’t you going to get up? We have a funeral to get to.” he slipped away from me as I looked around confused. I was laying in a bed with white comforters and blankets. I pulled them back to find my self dressed in white PJ's. Everything around was nothing but a plain of solid white until Discord popped up again waving me over. I slowly walked to him as he leaned over a ledge looking at something below. Now I knew. I knew that no one saw me and King G'afssa die because Shining Armour throw up a solid shield that no one could see past. With the Kings death the war ended. Like I said before no one knew how powerful he was. No one knew that he had enslaved the minds of every pony in the entire kingdom of Saddle Arabia. So when he died the awoke from a never ending nightmare and the should-be-dead could finally rest. The king was tossed into a pit in the middle of nowhere and the all the other dead was given a proper burial. I was buried with honers. So now Discord and me looked down from our little piece of heaven. Below was a cold, gray, and rainy day, my grandma did say the angles cried when someone they love died. We were looking down at Canterlot, in the gardens. A mass of ponies gathered around a casket set high on wood, closed of course. Near my body stood Celestia and Travis with the Six close by. Black veils were worn by mares, black bow ties by stallions, and Travis in a bright green dress (from the agreement he never knew we had IRL). “Before we continue, the finally wish of the departed shall be carried out.” a light blue stallion that was organizing the funeral spoke out. Afterwords a light brown unicorn stepped out, he had curly dark brown hair and brown eyes that set behind rectangular glasses. His cutie mark was hidden underneath a black suit. A band set up behind him as he walked up to a mic on his hind legs, grabbing the stand and bringing it close. After the song a majority of the crowd was in tears if they hadn't been already. Through running eyes Celestia nodded at Travis. He stepped up in front of the crowd and cleared his throat. “Meason was... a fat asshole who always got on my nerves and caused problems.” a crack of thunder interrupted him before he could go on. “... But he was my best friend. He was the one every day that would be their to make me smile and help me out with anything. I... I really don’t know what else to say but... you asshole. You had to leave me by myself.” he stared at the ground and couldn't go on any more. He stepped back and turned to the casket where my body (halves) laid. Then Celestia turned to the casket with her horn glowing. The wood underneath my coffin suddenly burst into golden flames even though the wood was soaked. All eyes watched as the flames crept up and licked the box until soon it was eating everything away. “Come on Meason lets go get a drink.” Discord pulled me away and we headed into the light plain. -one year later- The Princess and Travis sat in the garden enjoying a light picnic. Today was the one year anniversary of my death and later on that day they were going to visit my memorial but I had other plans for them. “Luna, can't you two wait for tonight?” the two looked up at Celestia with their limbs tangled together. They giggled nervously as they separated and stood up but suddenly were rocked off their feet. A thunderous clap sounded in the air. “What was that?” Luna said as she helped Travis. “It sounded like 'Burrito' in the ancient language of Pedobear.” Travis said as he looked around. Then in front of them the fabric of reality tore open and blinding light shone through. “Damn it Travis, you're late again.” I said as I shuffled the deck of cards. I sat at the poker table with Discord to my left and Sombra to my right. The three stared in shocked as I looked at Travis annoyed. I motioned for him to hurry up and he finally moved. “But...” he stepped into the rift and before the princess could follow it snapped closed. Travis took the set across from me as the cards were dealt out. He looked at the two with me then at the middle of the table where a folded piece of paper was placed. “My, my, so how have you been two chin?” Discord said as he peaked at his two cards. Sombra let out a chuckle as I set down three cards. An ace, a two, and a king. “Meason what's going on?” Travis said as he looked at his two cards. “A game.” I spoke as I looked at my hand. Sombra let out a grunt and I set down another card, another king. “Damn just so impatient.” I said with a sigh. Discord nodded and I sat down another card, another ace. “Oh dear.” Discord said as he folded. Now it was between the rest of us. “Ok lets see 'em” Sombra smiled as he flipped his cards, two two's. He let out a smirk but his face fell as Travis turned his over, two kings. I smiled as they looked at me. “I fold.” I scooted back and stood up. “Time to go.” I picked up the folded piece of paper and walked to the other side to Travis. “I'm think that's not how the game goes but whats the point in making sense.” Discord said as Sombra flipped over my cards. “See you later ass hat.” I pulled Travis up from the chair and shoved the paper in his hand. “You take care of your self.” I patted his shoulder and punched him in the face. He fell back and it the ground hard. “Dear are you ok?!” Luna rushed over to Travis who was suddenly back. He looked around confused with a hurt nose but then he looked at his hand with the paper. He opened it up and in big, black, block letters it read one word. ONE. Sombra growled at me as he looked at my cards, two aces. I shrugged my shoulders and walked away from the two. -next day- “Are you sure love?” Luna asked Travis as her sister and the six gathered around in Ponyville. He nodded and raised the paper into the air. It was pulled away into the air and made it's way up higher and higher until it was out of sight. They all waited and waited... and waited. “I'm sorry love.” Luna nuzzled Travis as his shoulders fell. “So top or bottom?” Discord asked me as I laid back away from him. “Well...” I stopped as I felt a tugging sensation. “Well it looks like that’s a question for another time. I'll see you guys later.” I stood up and walked over to the end of white that showed the land below. I swan dived off the ledge and fell. “REEEEEESPA-PA-PA-PA-PAWN!” I shot down to the invisible barrier that separated the High Land. You will travel far, my little Kal-EL- “Wrong franchise!” I shouted out as I was about to hit the barrier. The sky shook when suddenly there was a loud clap and an explosion of blue that faded into silver. Rainbow eat your heart out. The ground was closing in fast and I realized I didn't know how to fly. I impacted with the ground so hard I created a small explosion of dirt and stone in the middle of town. They ran over to the hole as I started to climb out. “Meason!” Travis ran up to me with a huge grin and his arms out stretch. As fast as lightning I slapped him upside the head. “You idiot! You were suppose to go home with that.” he stopped with his head cocked sideways. Everyone gathered around me happy and smiling that I was back. “So who missed me the most?” I said as we walked away. I put my arm on Travis shoulder as we walked and he shook his head, both of us grinning. -Five years later- “So Meason we need to talk.” Twilight sat me down on the couch in the library as the rest of the six gathered around. “Now we know you are Celestia's mate.” I snickered at that for reasons unknown. “But she had said she will allow one of us to be with you too.” I was still grinning but then it slowly faded away as I realized what was going on. “Now let me state why you should chose me-” “Wait a minute who said he was choosing you egg head?” Rainbow Dash interrupted Twilight. Soon all six were arguing loud and never notice me slip around them and out the door. I walked away quickly while looking over my shoulder, not noticing the mass in front of me. I ran head long into something and was knocked down to the floor. I looked up to see a mint green mare. “L-lyra?!” she stood in front of me with a soft smile on her face, a face I hadn't seen in about six years or so. I stood up and dusted my self off. “Where have you been?” she giggled and shrugged. “That's not important but I want you to meet someone.” she stepped aside to reveal a small mint green colt with curly light blue hair with brown stripes, a large grin on his face. “oh he has your insane eyes.” I looked between the two as she got closer. “And his father eyes.” my mind stopped working as I looked back at the colt. Big brown eyes. “Oh fuc-” “Daddy!” I slowly stepped back as he approached me. “Daddy!” I then stopped and took a deep breath, doing the responsible thing as a father. I leaped over him and tore the hell out of there. Soon I was being chased down by the colt with Lyra close behind. So this ends this epic journey... Or does it?