For Twilight and her friends, it was just another day with the reformed Discord. They’d met at Fluttershy’s house for lunch, and were taking quite a bit of joy in the “new him”. By new him, of course, one meant that he was now seen as little more than a house servant. He wouldn’t have minded so badly if the group was more inspired like Pinkie Pie, wanting grand and silly things that he always enjoyed taking part in. Unfortunately for him, however, most of them simply wanted to see the Embodiment of Chaos jump through hoops, metaphorically and literally.
Today, the little group of “heroines” decided they would enjoy him making things around the cottage look silly, or rather, silly by their standards. For Discord, however, it wasn’t fun in the slightest, and he was quickly growing tired of it all. Turning a vase into a chicken was child’s play. It would be more interesting to see it become a flying pig or a talking piece of bacon.
“Oh, joy,” Discord said with a sigh so low no one could hear. “Ain’t this a hoot.”
“What was that, Discord?” Pinkie Pie asked, suddenly bouncing in front of the draconequus.
Discord kept a straight face, for what it was worth. “Oh, nothing too important. Just mumbling about the weather. And the mosquitos. Now that you mention it, this party is pretty dull, eh?”
“I know! I totally wanted to play some board games, but Applejack was all like: ‘Oh, no Pinkie Pie, you’ve got to eat yucky muffins and tea and just sit quietly.’” Pinkie added a poor Southern drawl into her spot-on imitation.
The edge of Discord’s mouth twinged a bit, but not too noticeably.
“You know, I was planning on showing everypony here a super-cool board game with dice and monsters.” Discord forced himself to look defeated. “But I guess we’ll never get to that with this luncheon going on.”
Pinkie gasped with wide and twinkling eyes. “We should play your super-duper game, Discord! It sounds like so much fun!”
Discord looked away. “Oh, well I don’t mean to interrupt, of course. I’m sure you all would have a perfectly pleasant time with your scones.” He looked over his shoulder. Sure enough, Pinkie was already informing her pals of the game.
Rainbow Dash groaned. “Really? That sounds so lame, though! Board games are so slow.”
Twilight sighed and clicked her tongue. “You know, Rainbow, sometimes you should just try something new. Some board games are pretty long-winded, true, but they can be pretty thrilling sometimes.”
Rainbow was obviously unamused. “Really now? That coming from the pony that nearly pulled a Rarity over getting to look at some old dusty spell book?”
“That ‘old dusty spell book’ was filled with notes from the best unicorns in Equestrian history!” Twilight exclaimed.
“And what do you mean by ‘pulled a Rarity’, exactly?” Rarity asked, eyebrow raised.
“It was still old as dirt, and I mean the whole... you know,” Rainbow Dash made a gesture with her hoof, “the thing you do with that couch.”
“Divan, darling.”
“Whatever! It looks like a couch and you faint on it whenever you feel like being dramatic.”
“I think we should play his game.” Fluttershy said pointing to Discord “It’s nice to play games with others
“How bad can it be?” Applejack drawled. “Ah always play board games with the family and no harm ever came of it.” No one cared.
Twilight gave a nod, though more to Fluttershy. “Come on, things have been getting a bit boring lately. Let’s just give it a chance, everypony.”
Rainbow Dash groaned and sighed. “Fine, whatever. But this better be cool.”
Rarity gave a slight nod and smiled. “Well, I suppose we could do with a change of pace. Besides, it’s a board game, what harm could come of it, really?”
“Take it away, buddy!” Pinkie Pie cued.
Discord allowed himself a small smile. He was now absolved of any legal allegations that Celestia might come up with. And that, after all, was half the battle. He cracked his knuckles in preparation for the spell. Not because it would help in any way, but because he felt as though the situation called for a dramatic pause.
Discord allowed a more jovial tone to leak into his voice. “Well, my little ponies, enough waiting and discussing, let’s get to our game!” He made a show of his spell, letting the cottage seem to shift and morph, supposedly from the power of his spell, before simply snapping his fingers. As soon as he did, the mares in the cottage saw everything but each other vanish into black for a moment before a new room seemed to build itself around them.
First, the floor rose in one piece to meet them, and the walls pieced themselves together from the floor up. The room was stone entirely, save for what appeared to be logs forming a square frame around a large wooden door. On the other three walls were two chests each. The chests had a mark on the fronts, each being the cutiemark of one of the mares.
“Darnn it all, I’ve gone and lied to you,” Discord’s voice chimed in from an unknown source. “No board games today. Oh, well. Moving on with our lives. Welcome to your personal hell! Room and board, sadly, are not included.
“Let’s see here… I’ve got the dice and everything… I know I’m forgetting some blasted thing,” Discord muttered. “Ah, right. Character sheets. I really should ask you about your OC description... Nah. You’ll be fine.”
Discord cleared his throat. “‘Six adventurous, young ponies find themselves in a dark and mysterious cave. What lies beyond these halls is unknown, but they can just make out the six chests waiting for them in the middle of the room.’”
Rainbow Dash, impulsive as usual, is quick to react. “Hey! What gives?! I didn’t agree to this! What the hay’s going on?”
“Be quiet! I’m narrating,” Discord snapped. “Where was I? ‘Each one of the chests has a corresponding mark for its recipient. It would be best if you grabbed what is inside.’”
Twilight sighed and managed a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m sure this is just part of the game. Let’s just play along for now.”
She walked up to the chest marked for her and opened it with her magic. Rarity took Twilight’s advice and followed suit almost exactly, going to the chest marked for her and opening it with her magic. Rainbow Dash begrudgingly walked to hers, kicking it open with a forehoof upon approach. Applejack and Fluttershy, figuring it was just a game as Twilight said, followed in part as well. Pinkie had somehow already teleported inside the chest and burst out with cupcakes in hand.
“There’s all kinds of cool stuff in these thingies, Twi!” Pinkie said, chomping down on one of the baked goods.
Twilight blinks a few times before shaking her head and reminding herself to not be so surprised at Pinkie. The mares pulled their equipment from the chests and situated their things into a kind of make-shift inventory before donning their “armor” and turning to one another.
The group shared an expression of slight concern at the items they’d found, and the idea of this all being “just a game” was quickly losing any ground to stand on. Finally, they all turned to the door.
Twilight steeled herself and stepped toward the barrier. Her horn lit up, the door following soon after. With one last, deep breath, she pulled the door open, bracing for whatever may come on the other side.
As she pulled, though, the group heard Discord’s voice.
(51)
At the sound, Twilight’s horn sputtered and the door grew an arm, shoving her backwards. Her horn stopped glowing and the door returned to normal, though remained shut.
The group stared in bewilderment at the scene. Rainbow Dash was the first to recover and speak up. “What the buck just happened?!”
The sound of Discord laughing filled the air for a time before he spoke. “Don’t you remember? This is my game. Every action you make, and I intend for you will be decided on a roll of the dice. The higher the number you get, the worse the luck for whomever is rolled for.”
“Twilight got a fifty-one on opening the door, and because she used magic, I certainly couldn’t let it go without a roll. That fifty-one meant she failed to open the door, and quite hilariously, if I may speak for myself.”
“Hey, now you never said a darn thing about all o’ this! So, what, you roll and all kinds o’ anythin’ can happen ta us? How’s that fair?” protested Applejack.
“Oh, my. It appears you’re right on one account. I don’t believe I told you how the rules work too well, did I? Allow me to fix that, will you?”
A single, rather large, one-hundred-sided die appeared before the group. “This is the tool that will decide almost everything to happen in this little game of ours. As for being fair, I assure you that this makes everything as absolutely fair as fair gets.”
“How d’ya figure that?”
“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t expect a simple farm pony to understand right away. Here, allow me to explain: You all have character sheets based on who you are, and what you’re both good and bad at. If you attempt an action that requires a skill check, then the roll has to be equal to or less than your skill.”
“There will also be certain actions that will be rolled for depending on a threshold I, as Game Master, set prior to the roll. If your roll exceeds the threshold, you fail. If not, then you succeed.”
“Now, since the die is not affected by any magic other than what is required simply to roll it, it will give a fair, unbiased response every time. Your abilities will increase or decrease the chance that the die will land in your favor.”
“Finally, taken that the dice can just as easily land on, say, a one for you lot, there is always a chance of an absolute miracle in your favor, even, say, the rainbow one passing an Intelligence check.”
With that last line, the air erupted in Discord’s laughter for a while before slowly fading out. The six mares stared upwards, though not at anything in particular as the last words settled in. The six then looked amongst each other for a moment.
A moment later, the group heard a resounding snap before each had a floating piece of paper before them. Upon closer inspection, they soon figured them to be their character sheets.
Once it seemed they had all looked their respective sheets over, the papers swirled and stored themselves in each respective pony’s inventory. “Now that you’re aware of the rules, as well as your abilities and inventory, how about we try again with the door? We can’t very well start until you get it right, you know?”
Rainbow Dash scoffed and walked over to the door. The moment her hoof touched it, however, Discord’s voice rang again.
(87)
With that, the others hardly had time to tense up before a wood goblin emerged from the door frame and flung Rainbow Dash into the group. Before anypony could recover from the fall, the wood goblin had disappeared back into the frame.
After getting back to their hooves, Rarity decided to give it a go. The group heard a hearty laugh before the number came.
(100)
Before Rarity could even register the number, the door grew an appendage none of the ponies had ever seen before and struck her across the face, sending her to the ground.
“Oh, you lot are so unlucky! I’m even giving you a fifty/fifty chance to get it right!” Another cackle from the Game Master sounded through the air.
With a groan and a bit of effort, Rarity picked herself up, a red mark smarting lightly on her cheek, through her fur. With that, Applejack rushed at the door, bucking it with all her strength.
(16)
Her hooves connect and the door is ripped clear off its hinges with almost no noticeable resistance. As it crashes down on the other side, the group hears a slow clap. “Bravo! The bumpkin bucked the door away. Not all too surprising, really. It wasn’t a very sturdy door to begin with. I’m surprised it took you lot so long.”
“Oh! One more little detail, to make sure you understand the stakes here: Your goal is not only to survive, but to retrieve the Elements of Harmony. If you fail, it will not only mean your death, but that the Elements will be locked away here until the next wielders come, and can conquer my game. Don’t let everypony down, now.”
If any of the mares had wanted to give up before, that was enough to convince them otherwise. Without another word, the group rushed out into the unknown, hoping that the dice will be in their favor.