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// Miscellaneous junk strikes the avid follower of a specific event 
// Story: Destination: Thataway! 
// by Hawattie 
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	"You sure this field'll be big enough, Superguy?" the pegasus with the lightning motif asked once we reached the field. Superguy? That's his name? I don't know whether that's more pretentious or unoriginal. It would be like me calling myself "awesome OC".
Apparently I wasn't the only one who found Superguy's name humorous. Both the Courier and the sorceress barely contained their laughter upon hearing the stallion's ridiculous moniker. Knowing Fphant, he probably had an amused smile, but it's hard to tell with him.
The lightning pegasus was in our faces before I saw him move. Damn he's fast. I'm kinda glad I'm not fighting him. "Y'all find something funny? Huh?"
Fphant and the Sorceress averted their eyes, now giggling openly but didn't say anything. Probably out of fear of retaliation.
The Courier had no such qualms. "Yeah," the man said, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye. "I do find something funny, Speedy Gonzales." The pegasus's eyes narrowed upon hearing the nickname. "You and your compadres have the stupidest get-ups I've ever seen with names to match."
If looks could kill, I think every living thing in a straight line for miles behind the Courier would be dead. The human himself would be fine, maybe a bit roughed up but fine. He's too awesome to go out like that. "You wanna say that to my face, you big mutant thing?" challenged the pegasus.
"I believe I just did," the Courier deadpanned. With slow, deliberate, motions, the Courier pulled his largest gun off his back. I shudder to think what the gun that fired high-velocity explosions at the skeletal beastie a few chapters back would do to a pony.
The lightning pony scoffed at the weapon. "You think you can hit me with your metal stick?" I blinked, and the pegasus had moved out of the weapon's reach... if the weapon was a club. "I'm the fastest motherbucker alive!"
"That depends." The Courier calmly sighted the pegasus down the gun's scope. "How fast can you react?"
The pegasus looked confused. "How does that..." he began before Superguy cut him off.
"That's enough, Flash!" Superguy glared at the pegasus, whose name is Flash, I guess. "This fight is between Myself and this... fine... stallion here! I don't need you picking fights with his backup." Funny, something about the way he said "fine" makes me think he meant the opposite.
Superguy cracked his neck as he turned to face me. "That being said," he pawed at the ground in preparation for a charge, "shall we begin?"
My reply was to wave my hooves around in a, hopefully, intimidating way ending up with one hoof extended. I used that hoof to make the universal "bring it" gesture coined by that one bald guy with the cool sunglasses. What was his name? Morphine? Mordor? Mighty Morphing Power Ranger? Ah, it'll come to me.
Superguy wasted no time and began his charge immediately. While not nearly as fast as Flash had been, I still only barely had time to bring my axe up in a block.
His blow was powerful. Scarily powerful. If my bones hadn't been augmented with whatever they were augmented with I think my forelegs would have snapped in half. As it was, I carved a rather deep furrow into the ground as I was pushed backwards. I could almost see the little imaginary durability value for my axe drop from 120 to 119.
"Most impressive," Superguy comments. "I did not expect you to survive that."
"What can I say?" I shrugged, stepping out of the furrow. "I'm hard to kill." I made an act of brushing the dirt from my coat as I walked nonchalontly towards him then, as soon as I get in range, swing my axe as hard as I can towards his neck.
It's almost laughable how easily Superguy was able to dodge my attack. I honestly expected him to, after seeing how fast he could move. What I didn't expect was for him to dodge the followup laser I fired directly afterwards too. I vaguely noticed the beam arc off into a tree,  splintering the wood and setting it on fire. Ah well, we were having an epic duel, there was gonna be some collateral damage.
"I see you have a few tricks up your sleeve." Superguy's eyes started to glow an ominous red. "It's fortunate that I do as well." The ominous glow turned into a full-fledged eye-laser, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "if looks could kill." Luckily, for me, at least; not the shrubs and grass behind me, the laser lanced right through my shoulder without hitting anything vital.
Sure it hurt, but I'd been impaled on a giant bone and got better, a little scorched hole wasn't gonna stop me. Superguy strode up to me confidently, a smug grin plastered onto his face. He probably didn't expect me to walk off his attack so easily. I could use that element of surprise to my advantage.
"And so," Superguy began, lording it over me, "how the 'mighty' have fall-" I drove my hoof into the arrogant prick's gut as hard as I could, winding him, then fired a laser point blank. While my blast didn't have the penetration Superguy's had, it made up for it in stopping power.
Superguy was knocked from his feet and I was pleased to see a scorched mark marring his hide. I attempted to capitalize on his moment of vulnerability, but he recovered too swiftly. A single flap of his wings brought Superguy out of melee range. I fired a couple lasers up at him, but he dodged them with ease.
"You are remarkable," Superguy said. "I've met foes who could survive hits from my lasers and hooves and fewer still who can actually hope to harm me, but I've faced not a single soul that could do both. You shall be remembered as a worthy opponent."
If he wanted to talk, then I guess I couldn't stop him. It's not like I had a way to get him out of the air. "I'm not entirely sure I like the way you said 'remembered'," I remarked. "It almost sounds as if you intend to kill me."
Superguy held his hooves wide in a disarming gesture. "You could always surrender."
"And hand my friends over to your mercy?" I scoffed. "As if." I glanced around for anything that could help me. I saw a whole lot of grass and a few trees. Maybe I could throw a tree at him? Or should I throw him at a tree? Meh, I'll take what I can get.
"Very well then." Funny, it almost sounded like Superguy was excited. I can't imagine why, though. Without warning, Superguy stopped flapping his wings. He dropped straight towards me, gaining speed. I readied my axe to block another charge, but the powerful blow I was expecting never came.
At the last second, Superguy changed his direction. He swerved to the side, hooking his hooves around the head of the axe. His momentum combined with a great yank pulled the weapon from my grasp. The axe went flying off to the side and only a hastily erected magical barrier stopped the green unicorn from having his head taken off.
Superguy swooped around for another pass and I was glad to see his forehooves trailing blood from where the sharp bones of my axe's head had pierced his flesh. Still, wounded or not, Superguy's hooves had more than enough strength to yank me off my hooves and into the air.
With mighty flaps of his wings, Superguy rocketed us both into the sky. Within seconds we had shot past the clouds and were still rising fast. We didn't slow until the air had thinned to the point where it was nigh unbreathable. "We sure are..." My idle comment was interrupted by me gasping for breath. "...high up."
"Yes," Superguy replied without any of the breathlessness I was feeling. "Yes we are." He paused long enough to flash me a smirk. "Would you like to know where we're going next?"
"Sure, why not?" I struggled to move my hooves up to get a grip on the limbs holding me.
He dropped me. The bastard actually dropped me! "Thataway!"