My daughter spoke of her two friends so much, and with such delight in her eyes. It was one of the greatest things my little pumpkin could ever experience, and it made me joyful inside to see her so happy.
But I was such a fool, as well. She only ever referred to them by their first names, Fall and Steel. Fall and Steel this, Fall and Steel that. So many times she spoke of them, and she couldn’t once be bothered to say the full thing!
Fall Feather.
Fall Feather.
The poor girl’s dead, now. Preface told me, during one of her phone calls. She seemed very upset, but uncharacteristically angry. She doesn’t say so outright, but my daughter, now grown, thinks of me as a bigot. A sad, petty mare, who doesn’t judge a pony based on their hearts but by their birth.
Or maybe that’s just what I think of myself.
Is it such a crime, though!? It is the way society is. It is, literally, the way society has always been. Is it so wrong to merely be a part of that society? To not constantly think over the implications and consequences, and to merely live as we have always lived?
I ask myself that question a lot. Especially as I grow older, alone in an empty apartment.
When I puzzle over this issue, alone in a chair, staring blankly out the window, my mind often returns to when I was younger. When Preface was younger.
To Fall Feather.
She asked me so sweetly, so politely. “Can I have a couple friends over?” she said. I didn’t even need to ask who she meant. Fall and Steel, again again, haha. I said yes, of course. I just needed permission from their parents.
Tartarus, I didn’t even care about permission. I would have had those fillies over in a heartbeat if I could. My little girl was always so happy.
And when I was picking her up from school that day, Fall’s father wanted to speak with me. Of course, I thought, he just wants to meet me. It was totally reasonable and very responsible.
Preface led the way, and I walked into the classroom, and then I was very frightened.
A pegasus. I had seen pegasus drills on newsvids, seen the horrible might they exercised over the Blackshells. I had seen them as the grunts behind police forces, as the muscle in tournaments. It was this image of the pegasi that I saw, when I saw Mr. Feather.
That’s what I saw. I saw brutes, and soldiers, and titans of power and fear. But what was truly before me, I recognize now, was just a father.
“O-oh! Good evening, officer. Was there trouble at the school?” I was so scared. I just blurted out the phrase, hoping to avoid trouble.
He was so happy for her, too. I get the impression that Fall’s only friends were my daughter and Steel, and that she was excited for a sleepover. And him? He was excited because she was excited. “Trouble? Oh, no! I’m just here to pick up my little filly and send her off to her first sleepover!”
He picked up the filly, then–who I saw had wings–and hugged her, much to her laughing displeasure. “Daaad! You’re embarrassing me!”
“Oh alright, you little scamp.” Still smiling, still so damned happy. “I’m going to have to talk to this nice mare right here for a bit, then I’ll let you have your fun. Go out and play.”
She leapt to the ground, supplementing the fall with her wings. I was shocked, I was startled. I hope, vainly, that it didn’t show on my face, but it hardly matters.
The little pegasus rushed out to the door, quickly accompanied by Preface. “P-Preface!” I shouted. I wanted to warn her not to go out there, not to be near a pegasus.
She looked back at me, so innocent. “Yeah Mom?”
I had to. I couldn’t! She wouldn’t be harmed. How could I know that? It wasn’t anything new, but-
“Uh...” I was panicking. She would be fine. “Be safe.”
“Okay!” And she was gone.
I turned to face the pegasus. Big, strong. Intimidating.
His wide smile had faltered, just slightly. Had he noticed how scared I was? Of course he had. To his credit, however, he tried to be as cordial and kind as possible. “You must be Preface’s mother. I’m Frost Feather, Fall’s father.”
He held out a hoof. I paled, and didn’t meet it.
Mr. Feather lowered it again. (As much as I tried, I simply could not think of him as ‘Frost’.) “I’m sorry, what may I call you, ma’am?”
I managed to force out the words. “....C-Corollary. My name is Corollary.”
“Corollary.” Mr. Feather smiled, with sad, kind eyes. “I must say, I have never seen my little girl so excited. I hope you can handle her.” He laughed. “Do you need anything? My number’s in the school catalogue, but-“
“Actually, Mr. Feather,” I interrupted. Sun Princess help me, I interrupted him. But I had to make him know. “I’m not, um, entirely certain that your d-daughter can come over, tonight. It really doesn’t seem all that, um, wise.”
He tightened his lips. “Oh? If there’s a problem, I’m sure we can work it out.”
“Oh, no problem, no,” I replied. “It’s just that, well, I’m very concerned for my daughter, you know, Mr. Feather. I’m sure you understand.”
He sighed, closing his eyes. I continued. “And, you know, I’m just not entirely sure I should have your daughter–she seems very sweet, really–but not at my home.”
“Miss Corollary,” he began, “my daughter wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a-“
“I am sorry, Mr. Feather.” I stated. Firmly. I was not to be overcome in this matter! I was a Citizen, and I was merely exercising my rights. “But I don’t really believe I can condone a pegasus, no matter her age, to sleep beside my daughter. I allow her her own life and friends, but I must draw the line somewhere, Mr. Feather.”
I looked at him, pointedly. He seemed so... despairing, my confidence shriveled and died away. I managed to choke out my final words. “F-for safety. Mr. Feather, you must understand.”
He was silent for a moment. The large pegasus took a deep breath, trying to hold back his emotions. I of course believed he was holding back his anger and wrath, but I now know that he was holding a tender sorrow at bay.
I don’t remember seeing an earring, hoofband, or any other sort of marriage indicator. I don’t remember any mention of a wife or companion. He, like I, was a single parent. And he was fighting with all he could to keep his child happy. “...Miss Corollary. Please. Please, my daughter means the world to me. To see her happy like this? To see her making friends, and having fun, and be a child. That is such a rare thing for a girl like her, do you know? I never knew that as a child. And I count my blessings every day that we have the life that we do.
“Corollary, please. She’s just a child. Please don’t make me break her heart.”
Just doing what ‘society’ does means absolutely jack shit if it’s wrong. It doesn’t matter how justified, or how normalized, or how ingrained into the world it is. Injustice on such a grand scale is a crime against the the lives that we live.
“...I-I’m sorry, Mr. Feather, but I must say no.”
It is a crime against life itself, and a black stain on my heart.
The noble stallion hung his head, recognizing defeat. My hear raced, relieved for such a nerve-wracking ordeal to be over. I hurriedly collected Preface from the jungle gym, relieved and eager to put a long distance between myself and Mr. Feather. Steel Driver, the other Normal filly, accompanied us, and we went home.
I didn’t think about it. Mercy upon me, that day was buried at the very back of my mind for years, along with Mr. Feather. We moved, to a more central district, where more Normals lived and where I could free myself of the burden of being near these issues. It was a beautiful home we moved to. There was even a park, under a biodome nearly half a mile wide, with grass and trees.
But Mr. Feather and his daughter returned.
Preface was mad. She had come into breakfast, grumbling to herself and muttering. “Mom,” she said, “Do you remember Fall Feather?”
I paused, with a bite of toast halfway to my mouth. “Oh, um, yes dear. The pegasus who was in your class.”
“One of my best friends,” she amended. “She was acting weird on her last call. Talking about her cutie mark.”
Cutie Marks, hah. I cast a casual glance at her own flanks, only to find a set of scales, gleaming there. I broke out into a smile. “Preface! Look!”
She ignored me. “And then I talked to her dad. He seemed so... sad. And angry.”
The connection of who she was talking about was not made in my mind, and I continued to point excitedly. “Preface! Look! Look at your flanks!”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mr. Feather so broken.”
“...What, dear?”
Only then did she look. Her eyes widened as she beheld her cutie mark, and she began to exclaim loudly. I only half-heard what she was talking about.
Her voice wafted back into my ears. “...and when I heard Mr. Feather talking about it, I just knew I had to know the truth. That the truth was important! And that’s what it means, Mom!”
“...Th-that’s great, Sweetie!” I forced a smile.
She hugged me, smiling as well. “I’m gonna go tell Steel! And Fall, if I can reach her.” She bounded off into the other room.
My daughter’s words rung in my ears. Mr. Feather? That big strong pegasus?
Broken?
I shivered. I felt... guilty. Mad. But I forced these feelings down, once again deluding myself with the words I had used all my life. It’s the way things are. It’s how it’s supposed to be.
And now it’s eight years later. Preface has her own firm, and at such a young age! I was so proud to hear that. But when she would always talk about her fight for equality, I would turn a deaf ear. Just to ignore the twinge of an inexplicable pain when she raved about the right thing to do.
And every day, as I sat alone in a house, as my daughter began her little organization, I would think back. I wouldn’t even try to, it would just creep up on me like an insect. That day.
And here I sit, every day. Thinking about Mr. Feather. Going over it in my mind, trying a million different ways to justify what I did.
But sometimes I tell the truth to myself. That I was wrong. And I know it’s true.
The way society is.
But not if my daughter has anything to say about it.
And she has a lot to say.
I step off the train, and greet my daughter there with a large hug. “Hi, Mom!” She says. She thinks so little of me, but she still loves me. Which, honestly is more than I can say about myself.
“Hello, Preface dear.” I smile at her.
“What are you doing here?”
“Can’t I just visit my daughter without a reason?” She looks at me, and I sigh. “Honestly? I... think I want to join. Pegasus Rights. I-I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and...”
I trail off.
I hadn’t noticed him before, standing among the throngs of ponies, going by at the train station. But there he is. He barely looks any different. Tall, strong, blue. He looks older, and not just from age. He looks weary.
I don’t know what to say to him. A thousand things whirl through my mind, as I think back to when I first met him, what I did to him.
“I...” The word leaves my lips, but I cannot follow it with anything. There is too much I want to say.
He smiles, a small, sad, and Sun Princess save me understanding smile, and holds up a hoof. “Miss Corollary, it is nice to meet you again.”
I take that hoof and grip it, shaking firmly. I am smiling, there are tears in my eyes, and I dare to hope I dare to hope that I can be forgiven.
“Hello, Frost.”