//------------------------------// // Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the princess? // Story: You and I, Me and You // by thewaffler //------------------------------// A/N: Sorry about the delay.Thanks for reading. Chapter 3 “You were saying something earlier about rubbish?” Spike said with unease in his voice thinking that this “Pip” character hasn’t found the answer he sought. “Yeah...this damn crossword puzzle, I’ve been working on for the past three hours. Five-down: another word for garbage.” Pip said sarcastically. Spike picked up the book that had pelted him and out of compulsion placed it on the shelve. “The truth is I’m looking for a way to last as long as Luna and I ain’t talkin’ about squeaky bed springs.” Spike rolled his eyes at the comment. “Tough crowd. Anyway it all started...” Pip began to weave a story about how his own insecurities and research lead him to Old Canterlot Castle and through a series of narrow escapes and a long conversation with dig site that point him in the right direction. “...that’s what leads me to you, Spike.” “Why me?” “I need a unique dragon and by unique I need a dragon that rebels against its own kind.” “I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m rebelling in any way Pip, sure most dragons would have gone with hard rock or perhaps power metal for musical careers but I-.” Spike’s reply was cut short by a chuckle from the pinto as he shook his head from side to side. “Not like that Spike, I mean you’re the only drake around that instead of hoarding piles of treasure in your cave or in your case luxury suite, you give back to the world whenever you can and just enjoy working with your partner “ “Wife.” “What?” “Sweetie Bell’s my wife, we kind of got hitched a good while ago.” A questioning look spread across Pip’s face as he mulled over the piece of information given to him. The colt’s sudden silence added with the thousand yard stare that transfixed his face had done an effective job of weirding out the room’s sole dragon occupant. “..Uh you alright there Pip? Luna sent me down here because she thought you might be able to help me out with something.” “..You know exactly how it feels.” “What?” If he hadn’t looked it before Spike was definitely now the defining image of confusion as Pip’s eyes took on an understanding shine, and he began searching the room for something. “You know how painful it can be to see your own lifespan, and then compare it to the one you love doncha Spike?” The confusion on Spike’s face melted away as the pieces finally fell into place, and he took in the sight of Pipsqueak going through the items within the room Spike couldn’t help but think of the stallion as the other side of the ill-fated coin that had been given to him. Luna would be unaffected by time as Pip would gradually begin to be broken down by time’s power, and the pinto was going to do everything he could to stop it. Just like how Spike would be willing to do whatever he could in his own power to let time chisel him away alongside his beloved Sweetie Belle. “Yeah....I do know a little something about that.” Spike’s mind was only allowed to dwell on the subject for a few more seconds before a frustrated growl accompanied the sound of Pip’s continued search. “.Uh, something wrong there Pip?” “Nothing to be concerned with really, I’m just having a hard time finding something.” A minute passed quietly before Pip muttered a curse, and almost looked like he was about to start toppling things over. “You do know that they rearranged the archives right?” “......They did?” Grinning to himself Spike crossed his arms and looked around the large room, his emerald eyes glinting as he recalled the times spent here, and the letters sent to him notifying him of recent changes. “They had to reorganize when Twilight proved the theory of friendship being greater than or equal to magic, though there’s still a few counter theories they keep around for reference’s sake.” Halting his hunt for what he had been looking for Pip turned around to look at the musing dragon. “So where would I be able to find some of the older shelves?” Dig Site, and the tablet’s clues had pointed Pip to the Canterlot archives, but lacking any other hints the pinto was near ready to just ransack the place. Tapping a talon to his scaled chin Spike ‘hmmed’ to himself before he sharply turned to a few shelves behind him. “Well a good while back Twilight kind of went time travel crazy, and we ended up breaking into here so she could find a spell. The endeavor ended with us making a crazy mess, and the more ancient books and scrolls had to be moved to the left side alongside the Star Swirl’s biography section.” Clicking his tongue in confirmation Pip trotted past the dragon, and began looking over a few of the large stone shelves. After a few minutes of searching the stallion came upon a large book labeled ‘Continuing The Plot, A Theory On Coincidences.’ Just as Pip began to move the book aside a hollow sound escaped the work of literature as his hoof tapped against it. “And Bingo was his name-o.” Chuckling to himself Pip yanked the book completely off the shelf, and opened it to reveal that the middle of the pages had been gutted to hide a folded small envelope. “That looks interesting, though I wouldn’t want to be the one to tell Twilight that some defenseless book had a knife taken to it.” “Geez Spike, mind not sneaking up on a guy like that?” Pip had to fight the urge to jump in surprise from the dragon’s voice being so close to his ear. Reflexes honed from years of his line of work tended to leave the pinto edgy at times, and the Spike’s apparent silent approach nearly triggered a hasty attempt to defend himself from an attacking assailant. “Heheh...Sorry about that Pip, always been kind of light on my feet there. So what’s with the envelope there?” Taking an apologetic step back Spike couldn’t help the curious tone in his voice as his eyes took in the hidden envelopes image. “Well if my hunch is correct this envelope....” Pip paused a feeling of being watched swept over him, and in the blink of an eye the stallion spun around to catch sight of...nothing! “Pip?” Though his vision spotted nothing besides bookcases, literature, and more bookcases the pinto couldn’t help but feel ill at ease as the dragon continued to catch his regain his attention. “Hello! Equestria to Pipsqueak!” Spike waved a hand in front of the colt’s face, he had seen many an odd thing during his life, but Pip seemed oddly tense for a pony looking through an old royal library. “Sorry Spike...just thought I heard something, must’ve been just my imagination.” Turning back around to face the purple dragon Pip had to take a moment to remember what he had been saying. “This envelope might hold the secrets to what you and I seek actually.” “Really? Well that’s..” This time Spike heard an odd noise as well, his draconic ears along with Pip’s own trained ones picked up the distinct sound of hooves carefully treading the marble floors. Though Spike still stood in place as he attempted to deduce the reasons for a third party in this location, Pip pivoted on his back hooves and charged around the bookshelf that stood to their right. “I gotcha you sneaky sonova-” “Wait Pip, that’s a-” The resounding crash drowned out both voices as the strong stallion collided with another colt. Thinking the worse Spike quickly followed after the pinto and came upon the sight of Pip drawing back his left hoof in preparation to strike down a dazed looking pegasus. A pegasus with white fur, and covered in standard royal guard armor. Pipsqueak was completely oblivious to the colt’s attire as all his mind was focused on was that sneaky weasel below him listening in on a private conversation. As his hoof began to rain down toward the pegasus below like a comet, a scaled hand grasped his arm and brought the hoof to a halt mere inches from the guard’s face. “Pip! You almost punched out a royal guard man!” With Spike’s voice in his ears, and his clouded judgment becoming less so Pip finally took in the entire sight of the cowering stallion below. Luna might have been loved the Pip as much as he did her, but striking a royal guard wasn’t something that would go down without some sort of ramification. Taking a deep breath of air Pip allowed Spike to pull him back a step, and muttered an apology as the nearly clobbered pegasus picked himself off the ground. “.......” No longer caught off guard, and now at full height the guard glared angrily at Pip who had turned around to reclaim the envelope he had dropped during his attack. Mind switching to damage control to keep things from getting any more out of hand, Spike walked up to the agitated pegasus and rubbed the back of his head. “Uhhh sorry about that mister, my friend here is a bit on the paranoid side and I think he thought you were some kind of spy or at least a threat.” “I’m only a threat to those who would attempt to bring harm to the royal princesses or any of their subjects.” The pegasus’s voice was oddly raspy for one that looked so young, and before Spike could comment on the matter the guard coughed a few times before glaring again in the direction Pip had gone. “Figures that the one time I get stuck with patrolling the royal archives, I end up with a sore throat, and roughed up by some lost citizen.” “Once again I’m sorry about that, and I’m sure he is too, but that guy happens to be on really friendly terms with princess Luna so maybe we can just forget about this little ordeal and continue with our day?” The guard seemed to ponder Spike’s request for a few seconds before he dusted himself off and turned to walk away. “Alright, I guess it’s more trouble than it’s worth to go gathering up the guard and tossing you two in the royal dungeon till the my lady says otherwise. I’ll let this slide, but don’t go touching anything you shouldn’t be, and next time this happens I won’t be so lenient.” Once the pegasus was far enough away Spike sighed in relief from the close call he had just gone through. Sure Pip might have been Luna’s coltfriend, and he himself could be seen as a close friend to the whole royal family but one doesn’t just go around smacking guards without expecting some consequences. “Where’d the guard go?” After retrieving the envelope and placing the book back where he found it Pip came back expecting to have to deal with a guard and his bruised ego. Fixing a less than pleased scowl toward the pinto Spike tapped his left foot on the ground as Pip stopped a few steps away from him. “I took care of it, though I recommend that next time you look before you leap Pip. Seriously that could’ve landed us in some serious trouble.” “Ehh you worry too much, that colt shouldn’t have been sneaking around like that to begin with.” “Perhaps I do, but then again I don’t want an entire platoon of pissed off guards dog-piling me just because you find a guard being quite on patrol suspicious.” Both Spike, and Pip rolled their eyes at one another before Pip began attempting to open the envelope. Seeing the pinto about to the tear the thing open with his teeth, Spike snatched the envelope in his claws which caused Pip to emit a “Hey!” in response. “Won’t be very useful if you tear the thing in half, or end up swallowing it Pip.” Raising his index talon on his scaly right hand Spike sliced the top part with the precision of an expert surgeon, and handed the now open envelope back to Pip. “....not bad Spike.” Now in his hooves Pip dumped out the envelopes contents which happened to be a old looking folded up paper. The dragon gently picked up the notes, which he noted were written on old journal paper what with time had turned a sickly yellow with the writings done in faded pencil. Staring he at the paper he came to one conclusion. “I can barely read this.” “Let me see it.” Spike handed the notes to Pip whom observed the characters on each sheet of paper and because his work often lead him to deciphering broken text and dead languages he was able to get what his draconic compatriot failed to see. “It’s written in Old Pony Script.” “and?” “Let’s see... from the spectral gaze from which the sun and moon pass...through the burning sands of time...is where the first marker lays. That doesn’t make any sense.” “You don’t get it?” “Get what?” The pinto tilted his head. “It’s obvious, well you see in music things can’t be taken literally, but rather metaphorically. Hmmm...” The drake thought for a few seconds. “That’s it, The sun and moon can’t pass through anything, but their light can and sand of time doesn’t mean actual sands of time but rather glass which is made from burning sand!” Spike’s moment of excite seemed to halt suddenly as a confused expression crossed his face, and he scratched his head. “...But that’s a bit odd for regular glass to be part of this.” “Hmmm, what if it’s not ordinary glass that we’re talking about.” The dragon stopped his head scratching, to fix a curious look onto the stallion. “You mean like the stained glass within the throne room?” “Exactly! Why mention the moon and the sun unless it was some sort of reference to Luna, and her sister...” “And when you think about it, the word ‘spectral’ means color!” Spike’s excitement was back full-throttle as he and Pip seemed to come upon the riddles answer at the same time. “The limerick is talking about the stained glass windows!” Both voices rang loudly within the library followed by the sound of Spike’s scaled fist impacting with Pip’s hoof. “Buck yea!” Both males exchanged victorious grins for a moment, before a look of realization spread across the pinto’s face and he muttered a short swear. “Crap.” “Huh?” “Looks like we have to go into Old Canterlot Castle to find those windows.” “Not necessarily, you see that this castle’s construction uses many recycled materials from the ancient castle.” “So...” “...whatever windows of value that the old castle had are somewhere in this castle. The issue? finding the right one if not right ones, because the poem didn’t really say how many windows were needed to solve the puzzle.” “Well the best places to start are probably the parts that were more likely to have needed pieces from the old castle to aid in the construction.” Both Spike, and Pip ‘hmmm’ in unison as they pondered where the likeliest of places to find their clues within the castle, after a moment Spike snapped his fingers and smirked. “I bet my bottom bit that we’ll find what we’re looking for in the oldest part of the castle Pip.” Whipping his head toward the direction of the library’s entrance Spike began walking toward his set destination. “And where would that be Spike?” Slightly caught off guard by the dragon’s sudden movement, Pip quickly got up and trotted after his scaled accomplice. “Well the first place that comes to mind if you ask me is the royal guard’s rec. room.” “Seriously?” “It used to be the first throne room, but after Luna’s banishment Celestia chose to move her throne to one of the rooms still unharmed. After that they kind of built on top of that, and the old throne room became the royal guards new place to blow off steam.” “Oh...well that makes sense I guess.” Satisfied with the explanation Pip followed the dragon out the library door, and down the hall leading to their next destination. After the two had left the vicinity, a certain guard appeared from behind the bookcase Spike and Pip had been talking next to. Checking to see if the cost was clear the pegasus rubbed his smarting leg, before swearing in a voice unlike the one he used earlier. “Damn Pipsqueak you can bet your ugly mug I’ll be paying you back double for that.” Taking note that the stallion and dragon had spoke of heading to the rec. room the pegasus moved quickly to follow suit. Meanwhile: “It must say Sweetie Bell it’s been far too long since the last time you’ve visited.” The mistress of the night stretched her forelimbs as she levitated a cup of freshly brewed tea to her lips. Her guest Sweetie Bell nervously glanced at her own while her princess continued to sip away. Noticing her subject’s trepidation Luna placed the cup down, and fixed a hopefully disarming smile onto her face. “Is the tea to your liking young Sweetie Bell, I do hope that I haven’t overheated this brew.” “Oh no princess the tea is fine, exquisite even. It’s just....” An uncertain look crossed the mares face as she left her sentence unfinished. “You’re worried about your husband aren’t you?” Sweetie Bell nodded her head while she swished the contents of her cup slightly. “Is it that obvious?” “Quite.” With a sigh Sweetie Bell downed the entire cup with one gulp effectively alarming Luna who’s blinked in a somewhat stunned silence. Showing no signs that the tea had burned her insides or not Sweetie Bell smiled sheepishly at her surprised princess. “Sorry, it’s just....I’m so used to having Spike nearby or at least knowing everything he’s doing and now suddenly I feel completely lost here.” Luna gave an understanding smile as she eyed her own tea then proceeded to take another sip. “You could say I know that feeling well, Pip’s travels tend to take him far and wide so we don’t see one another as often as I would like.” At the end of her sentence Luna’s voice took a slight downcast tone and a small frown marred her beautiful face, but in an instant the frown was replaced by a grin as Luna rolled her eyes in an over dramatic fashion. “But I suppose that comes with the territory when you fall in love with an adventurer, wouldn’t you agree?” Despite her previous gloomy attitude the purple and pink maned mare could not resist a small giggle in reply to her princess’s fake annoyance. “I suppose that’s just how men are, holding you close one moment then scampering off like giddy foals at the prospect of something exciting.” Seeing that Sweetie Bell’s mood was improving Luna continued playing the role of a miffed spouse, snorting in faux indignation as she went on. “Oh I’m soo sorry Luna I can’t stay around and attend the dinner with you and princess Celestia tonight I have some old dusty rock to discover somewhere.” From her seat Sweetie Bell laughed at Luna’s impersonation of the pinto, even joining in once she controlled her mirth. “Spike’s the exact same, every time I try to set up a nice little meet up with my parents he suddenly has a dragon code mission to see through, or coincidentally has to rewrite a few lyrics on a new song.” The two mares shared a laugh, before simultaneously rolling their eyes and saying. “Stallions, can’t get live with them can’t live without them.” With another giggle Sweetie Bell looked back to her teacup now wishing that she’d save some for later. As if reading the much younger mare’s mind a kettle surrounded by a dark blue aura levitated before her and refilled her cup. Look from the past the wisps of steam that her drink emitted Sweetie Bell sheepishly smiled to her beaming host. “Uhh thank you princess.” “You’re quite welcome it’s about time this tea kettle had more use applied to it, and please the formality is unnecessary just call me Luna.” “I mean for earlier, I really needed that laugh with all this craziness going on.” Waving away Sweetie Bell’s comment like an exaggerated compliment Luna merely smiled as she willed the kettle to refill her own empty cup. “It’s a princess’s duty to put her subject’s mind at ease dearest Sweetie Bell, as well as being a good host. Now then what you and Spike been up to since the last time I’ve seen you?” Meanwhile: “Well rookie, you in or ya goin home to mama?” “Gimme a sec I need to look at what I have.” “Laddie you’ve been lookin' at that the same five cards goin' on an hour now.” “S-Shut up I got this.” From his position at the table a lunar guard pony leaned to his right to inspect the cards of much younger guard next to him. Tsking out loud the bat pony resumed his original spot, and gave the nervous royal guard a sympathetic look. “You might as well fold while you still got a wee bit of pride under ya laddie, no sense in give us all your money on your third night.” “What ya go and say that for you gray-maned codger? The boy ain’t gonna learn if he doesn’t get ta play with the real stallions.” Sitting opposite of the now even more nervous royal guard was another bat pony his age between the newly recruited colt, and the elder stallion beside him. Taking a moment to swing back a metal tankard of beer, the lunar guard leered at his senior before turning back to the rookie. “Don’t go mindin ‘ol Lechette over there laddie, if you think you got the stones and the cards put em up.” “U-Ummm I-I-I...” When Sturdy Shield had enlisted into the royal guard the young colt assumed he was about to begin a long career of cushy guard assignments, and the occasional slaying of magical beast, yet none of his courage or daydreaming had prepared him for his current scenario. His days so far were filled with constantly patrolling long corridors, getting chewed out for reasons unbeknownst to him, and worse of all dealing with the other guards who’s boredom had driven them to playing for each other’s spare bits, ultimately robbing the unwary of their hard earned pay. And somehow the wet behind the ears rookie had landed himself at the very same table as the most notorious card players this side of castle. “Make a decision already bra! I could be seriously blasting these guns here if we weren’t waiting on your stuttering flank.” Taking up the final seat was another new recruit, a day guard much like Sturdy Shield who was looking forward to ending his shift with a bag full of bits. “I’m IN!” Mustering all his courage Sturdy Shield pushed his small pile of bits forward to become one with the pile created from his three fellows. Putting on a brave face the in over his head colt looked from one comrade to another paling internally at their reactions. The older bat pony ‘Tsked’ a few times before shaking his head and looking down at his own cards, his fellow recruit began pumping his hoof into the air while shouting at some pony across the room to grab him another brewski, but worst of all was the malicious grin worn on the second lunar guard’s face. “Well you heard him boys, all in. Now read em and we..!” A loud crash interrupted the bat pony’s sentence, and all within the guard rec. room ceased festivities, and turned sharply to watch a pinto stallion and a purple dragon trip over themselves and into the room. As luck would have it the guard responsible for keeping the cider barrels primed, and in place was currently pushing a very full and very heavy barrel of cider right in front of the duo. With the grace matching that of the very princess of the sun herself after one of her notorious binges the pinto tripped over the barrel, latched onto the dragon to perhaps save himself, and drag not just both of them but the barrel as well into a rolling mass that bowled over two guards, and ramped off an upturned table. As the guards watched in rapt fascination, the spines from the dragons back pierced the barrel in such a way that it filled the cups of seven thirsty guard ponies in mid-air prompting a cheer from all of those who had prayed for a free refill to fall out of the sky. The whole sordid affair ended as the pinto hit the ground, the dragon landed on the pinto, and the cider barrel landed on it’s side above both where it’s contents leaked out into the unsuspecting but not complaining mouths of the duo below. A panel of judges sat a few feet away having been assembled the moment the chaos had began, and after sharing neutral looks between each other they raised three large cards for all to see. “8.0!” Shouted the first, this judge being known for his firm but fair opinion and his soothing baritone voice. “7.5!” A generous score from the judge famed for his cutting remarks, and his ability to see a flaw in anything performed before him. All guards took a silent inhale as the final judge roared enthusiastically. “9.0!” The final judge notorious for giving a high score on just about everything pulled through in the end, and the room shook from the cheers of the highly impressed guards within. Immediately song and dance commenced, and the two newcomers responsible were brought to their feet, and handed a celebratory free drink. “Damn good show guys, any chance you got an act involving fire?” A chuckling solar guard gave the two a clap on the back before raising a tankard to his lips. After taking a grateful drink from the mug given to him Pipsqueak chuckled before shaking his head his head no. “Sorry friend, but we’ve got some business to attend to. Plus the princesses might not be too keen on us lighting a green match next to all of this grade A cider.” The lunar guard laughed in understanding before clinking his cup with Pip’s and wandering off to join a departing group of solar stallions. Pip looked down at the still dazed Spike and pried his head spine from the barrel letting a torrent of sweet liquor wash out onto the floor. As if summoned by magic a two legged griffin hobbled to where the spilled cider had spelt and began cleaning the mess. “Great job on the floors Stumpy.” The bartender called out to the janitor. "Ah, wish Ah was dead." The weathered griffin mumbled under his breath like he did everyday. “Have a nice day Stumpy.” Once again the pony behind the counter called out to the castle Custodian as he limped out of the room. To say Pip was confused would have been an understatement or it would had his time in Ponyville and traversing Equestria and beyond had told him to expect the unexpected. Looking back to his still out friend Pip called over to the barkeep hoping the grizzled earth pony would have something to rouse the old cold dragon. “Let’s give him a drink of some of my famous lager, I’ve seen the stuff cause newbies to sprout beards as long as the princess’s mane.” Wasting no time the barkeep ducked underneath the bar, and a minute later popped up with a large bottle between his hooves. After the bottle was given to Pip the pinto immediately opened it, and poured its contents into Spike’s mouth. A long silence followed before a small gurgle emitted from the still unconscious dragon earning a shared “Aww” from the guards who watched from their tables. “Gonna need something stronger, this is a dragon we’re dealing with.” Nodding his head at Pip’s statement the barkeep ducked back down then produced a large jug. “Well give this stuff a try then, whenever the princess of the sun goes on one of her drinking rampages she kicks back a few of these halfway through, and I swear the sun starts to implode on itself when she does.” With the help of a guard pony Pip held the entire jug over Spike’s mouth then emptied the whole thing, though the drake still remained down and out. Several guards cheered compliments toward the dragon and his godlike levels of tolerance to the good drink, though the barkeep looked downright stunned. “What the hay is that beast made out of?” After racking his old brain for few moments the barkeep beamed to himself as he remembered an sub-suicidal concoction he had heard about from back in his old service days overseas. “Alright fillies step back I’m gonna give this deep sleeper, the can call.” Several gasp filled the room as the barkeep located all of the necessary ingredients, a large lump of coal, a hoof-full of steel wool, and a single blue can that glowed ominously. Across the room Sturdy Shield raised an eyebrow at the commotion, and looked toward the older bat pony beside him had an amused expression across his face. “The hay is that all about Lechette?” “That youngin, is the infamous ‘can call’ last fella I ever heard took it ended up spontaneously combustin' in a fire so bright the sun itself looked like a dimming light bulb.” Lechette chuckled as he watched the solar guard’s eyes widen considerably then turn back to watch the sight, completely oblivious to everything else going on. “I advise for all ponies with weak constitutions, fear of a fiery death, or may in fact be with child or planning on having one someday to clear the room.” Hearing the barkeeps words a few guards quickly made for the exit, knocking over a newcomer that had just entered who muttered an accented “Ey!” With a nod to Pip who made sure to keep the sleeping dragon’s mouth wide with his hooves, the barkeep dropped the coal, and steel wool in first the odd pair of items only having a few seconds of sitting patiently atop the dragon’s tongue before the hissing of the blue can’s top being opened for the first time dominated the now silent room. Taking a moment to pray inwardly to all his past ancestors, the old barkeep poured a fizzling neon blue liquid into the dragons awaiting jaws. There was only time for a quick nod from the barkeep before all ponies within the room hit the deck as Spike’s mouth closed shut and chewed the contents within. “RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” Spike’s claws dug into the floor and his back spines emitted an eerie green light as he set forth a blast of fire so intense it melted a hole in the bar’s granite countertop. It was truly an amazing feat as the countertop was so hot that it jumped straight from liquid to plasma. The bar looked like a piece of modern art dictating the downfall of Equestrian society, well if you were a pretentious knob-head. Once the flames died down, Spike fixed his tie and took a deep breath. “Bill me later for the damages.” The pinto blinked. “Holy ...” After composing themselves and checking to make sure the bartender didn’t mind the new artistic direction they had taken with his counter Spike and Pip quickly set to work on surveying the room. Though the room was filled to the brim with drunk and entertained ponies, contained a multitude of briskly revitalizing spirits, and didn’t seem wanting for a place to sit there was nary a stained window to be found. “You sure this is where the old throne room used to be Spike?” Tapping a claw to his chin Spike glanced around the room, seeming to focus more on the ceiling, and walls than on any item, or individual. “I’m positive...it’s just...” A sudden expression of realization dominated Spike’s face as he began to glance all around. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that sooner?!” Mystified by the drake’s exclamation Pip raised a hoof to his head to scratch it, and attempted to mirror his partner. “Uhh Spike any chance you can elaborate?” “It’s the size of this place Pip, the old throne room was roughly four times this size. I hadn’t noticed at first but when you really look at the dimensions of the room you’d have to be crazy to think the princesses would be okay if ruling the land from within such a small space.” Emerald green eyes focusing on a door to their left Spike motioned for the pinto to follow him as he began to move toward it. “When they remodeled they must have sectioned off parts of the bigger room, and I bet my favorite piano that what we’re looking for is past that door.” Nodding his head in agreement Pip followed his scaled comrade across the room and past the wooden door Spike had motioned to, no pony attempted to stop them though a familiar pegasus had tried to follow only have a force pull him toward a table. “Hey! What’s all this then?!” Before the pegasus knew what was going on he found himself seated before a table with one solar guard, and two lunar pegasuses. Of the two lunar guards the oldest smirked quietly as his younger comrade chuckled darkly. “Ya bein shanghaied for a bit of fun kiddo, now you ain’t leavin this table till you defend yer pride as a stallion with a game of cards.” The abducted looked toward the other solar guard who merely sighed in a depressed manner, and shook his head. “Hope your days been going well so far buddy.” Back with Spike and Pip the duo had stepped past the door and found themselves within a not so well lit room. Only a few torches had been left lit causing Pip’s vision to be obscured slightly, shadows danced across the floor and walls thanks to the few cider containers within the room and a large cabinet. Looking around Spike noticed that past the cider barrels another wooden door stood nearly masked in the darkness. “Hey Pip help me move these out of the way, think we got a little more ways to go.” The room had crates and barrels stacked to the ceiling if that wasn’t bad enough, it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned out in decades. Spike stuck his clawed hand into a pile of the debris and pulled out a band poster. “Violent Ecstasy on tour? They broke up years ago...” As luck would have it, this mountain of years of junk did provide them with some help as it did form as impromptu step stool for Pip and Spike. In the center of the north most wall were a series of boarded up arches covered in some kind of black cloth. “Hey Spike, can you give me a hand?” Pip motioned to a series of wooden boxes and old wooden kegs. “No problem.” Within a few minutes Spike and Pip had moved the boxes and kegs toward the boarded up arches. Pip wiped his brow. “Hey Spike if these are windows are not just look at them from the outside?” Raising his eyebrow at the idea Spike shook his head, and proceeded to tear off the black cloth covering the arches. With the covering shroud removed the arches revealed large tapestries of colored glass. “I’m thinking this is what we’re after partner.” To say that this window was a work of art would have been an understatement as it was more than just a cavalcade of interlocking complex shapes and to think there were twelve more just like it was mind blowing. They then proceeded to reveal the other twelve windows each one showed a breathtaking scene through the skilled glasswork of a long departed master artisan. Though all of them were truly works of art, Pip realized that only four of them had seemed to depict anything of importance while the rest merely showed landscapes. The pair went around the guard room examining each window. “That’s odd.” “What?” “Apparently four of these windows have different markings on them.” “Where? I can’t see anything in this dim room.” “Oh, that’s right, you’re an earth pony.” The drake said as he grabbed a lamp from a nearby table to show his compatriot his findings. “A talon print, a shark, an ancient horseshoe and a blue crescent.” “Suppose they’re somehow related to each other?” “We know that the shark has something to do with danger or water.” “The blue crescent could mean the actual moon, but there’s the blue color.” “The horseshoe maybe has something to do with ponies in general?” Spike shrugged, after all the most brain work he’s had to do in recent years was figuring out how to assemble a bookshelf from that Neighwegian furniture store. “That still doesn’t explain the talon print.” “More predatory symbolism? Griffins? Dragons?” This was going to harder than they thought. It only got more confusing when the duo noticed the stars surrounding each image. ….. “I don’t think Star Swirl was being all that subtle.” “What do you mean?” “All the outer frames for these windows have a tiny symbol carved into the solder.” “And?” “There are tiny symbols of waves, a pair of crossing tridents, cattails and gull wings.” “Hmm... more nautical related pictographs.” Pip thought out loud. Like a freight train it hit the pinto all at once, what if all the clues centered on the water. “HA HA. Everything has something to do the ocean or rather everything leads to it!” Pip began to shake and laugh maniacally, last time Spike has seen something like this it was at one of his concerts and the end result was dousing an out of control fan with pepper spray. “Don’t you see?! Even the windows themselves are a clue. Tell me, what’s glass made from?” “Sand, duh.” “Yes, but where did that sand come from, if Old Canterlot was so far inland?” Before Spike could even attempt to answer that question, the excited earth pony pulled out a pencil and a notepad, did some scribbling and continued onward. “...Oh...my… I got it!” Now with a renewed sense of urgency and a destination in his mind Pip bolted upwards from the makeshift table with his note book held between his teeth galloped out the room as his dragon companion gave chase this time being careful not to destroy any of the bar this time. As they ran through the room, Spike couldn’t help but notice that the guard from the Archives was being force fed a beer bong. After what seemed like only minutes they made it to their destination: The Royal Map Room. Pip still giddy to the point of nausea grabbed an era correct topographical atlas. “Will you, please tell me what this is all about?” “Sand, it came from the Capricorn river delta. You can tell because of its imperfections, later windows would source their materials from further away circa 200 A.N.M.” “But it’s more than that; the images are actually landmarks as you can seee...” Pip flipped the atlas to correct page as he stretched out the word. “...here.” Spike looked down to see his companion pointing to the beginning of the basin of the crescent moon. As his eyes followed Pipsqueak’s hoof, he became aware of the similarities between the images from earlier and the map. “Yeah, but what about the stars? They have to mean something.” “Well, each had a different number: 1, 18, 19, 4, which as letters would mean A, R, S, E.” Okay, that last bit made the both of them giggle. Once they calmed down, they looked over the river again and as they finished the route, the earth pony adventurer had another one of those eureka moments. “According to the map, the first maker is in dragon territory.” “Why would Star Swirl place it there?” Pip sighed. “What do you know about the False Treaty of 100 B.N.M?” “Um... I write songs for a living... ancient land wars aren’t something that come into everyday conversation.” “I’ll keep it simple, a long time ago the dragon city of Argrovilla used to be the pony coastal city of Ares and wherever the marker is it’ll most likely be in the oldest building, that is if it’s still standing after 1,100 years.” “So bottom line, looks like we’re goin’ up the river tomorrah.” In Guest Suit 44B that night “Spike, I hope you know what you’re doing.” Leaning in close to his wife Spike nuzzled Sweetie Belle’s neck. “I’ll admit it’s a bit shaky, but this trip means everything to me. It means I don’t have to spend eternity without you.” Letting out a small sigh Sweetie Belle turned toward her husband with a worried gleam in her eyes. “I’m sure that you’d find someone new eventually. You don’t have to risk your life just for me”. “Maybe you’re right....but never in a dozen thousand years will I ever love a mare as much as I do you.” “So you’d want wrinkles, body aches and senility over immortality?” “Sure, as long as I get them with you. There’s nopony I’d rather grow old and senile with than you babe.” Spike punctuated his last statement with a kiss and slight squeeze of the mare beside him. Though she doubted that her beloved truly knew what he was giving up for her, Sweetie Belle smiled warmly from her dragon’s cuddling. In Luna’s chambers “Our answer is no.” “B-but Luna..” “We shall be having none of your butts Pip, that is the end of this discussion.” “Luna...I think you’re being a little irrational about this.” “Says the colt who wants to go on a wild, life-threatening fowl-chase.” “....Only because I want to live forever..with you.” Scowling at the stallion’s combination of stubbornness, and sweetness Luna the alicorn gave a small huff as she settled into her bed. Looking past her shimmering mane too lock eyes with the love of her life Luna felt a small scowl form on her face when she noticed his determination had yet to falter “You know Pip, we could just cast an incantation that would turn you into solid stone, that way we could unfreeze you, teach you about magic for a bit then freeze you again until you’ve finally ascended to an alicorn’s level of mastery. It just might take a few centuries.” Rolling his eyes at his love’s behavior Pip made his way over to the pouting alicorn until he was gently rubbing the side of his head against hers. “Well as foolproof as that idea sounds, I doubt that a few hundred years of being a stone stud would feel all that great not to mention that no handsome rock could come close to replacing me in my flesh and blood.” This elicited a giggle from his lunar princess. “I’ll come back to you, plus it’s not like I’m going alone.” All Luna could do was snuggle into the spotted earth pony as they both descended into their own respective slumbers. The Next day they set out on their adventure and said their farewells to their significant others. “Please don’t take too long, there’s a reward if you come home early. ” Sweetie Belle began whispering into the dragon’s ear before nibbling on the green scaly fringe which only caused Spike to turn a bright shade of red and giving him more reason to not die during his impending adventure. “I’ll miss you, honey.” Luna tried her best to compose herself as she knew her lover was about to descend into a perilous journey. “This isn’t goodbye.” Pip pulled the co-ruler of Equestria into deep passion filled kiss. With no further words the dragon and earth pony set off on their trip for both mortality and immortality. Meanwhile in front of Pony Joe’s Donut Emporium; it was typical Tuesday morning, the outside tables were packed with the perfect mixture of blue collar workers and Canterlot Elite and the surrounding area smelled of sugar, chocolate and peanut oil. Of course all this tranquility was interrupted as what could only described as the stench of low tide emanated from the ground. The ground began to quake and as the cover of one of the sewer access points flew towards the sky like a cannon ball. “AIR, SWEET, GLORIOUS AIR!!!” A disheveled orange pegasus wearing what seemed to be the remnants of royal guard armor and sewer sludge burst out from the nearby manhole. The patrons looked at the the stallion with complete and utter terror as if he was something straight out of a cheap B-movie horror flick. The horrific pony then sauntered over to a nearby table flung some of his filth on the ground and motioned towards the plate. “Aye nina, you gonna eat that?” The mare slowly shook her head before her guest grabbed her breakfast and flew off towards the Capricorn river. Spike and Pip stood at the docks as they waited for their ferrypony to take them to Argrovilla. “Where’s our river guide supposed to be anyway?” Just as Spike said those words a harpoon whizzed past his head. “What the f--” “Welcome to my boat mere mortals for I, Hammerhead Typhoon will take you to Argrovilla and meet my wife.” “H-harpoon?!” “That was the official greeting of the river.”