//------------------------------// // A King and two Guards // Story: My Little Poney // by dyshviccer //------------------------------// Casus Fors sat on the throne in Canterlot Castle; he wore a crown with his cutie-mark on it. “Does the crown make me look stupid?”, he asked a guard with a red coat that stood next to him. “You mean more stupid”, the guard said. “What?” “Never mind, you look good with it”, the guard rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Luke”, Casus smiled. “Why are you still calling me that? I thought we talked about it”, the guard looked at him. “Yes, we did”, Casus chuckled. “Then why aren’t you using the name I want?” “Because it sounds ridiculous”, Casus threw his hoofs in the air. “Says the guy with crappy shoes and the stupidest cutie-mark imaginable” Casus laughed, “Okay, you have a point there. Fine, I will call you Red Mist” “Thank you”, Red Mist grinned as he took off his helmet and scratched his head, “This stupid thing itches” “Then why are you wearing it?” “You told me to, remember? I have no idea why but you told me to” “You want to know why?”, Casus jumped off the throne and fell on his face. Red Mist burst out laughing. “Hahaha! Man, you should have seen your face while falling! It was like this”, Red Mist made a silly face, “And when you landed on the floor it was like “Splat!”. Oh crap, that was hilarious! Haha” Casus Fors pushed himself up as he wiped his hoof on his face, “Was it really that funny?”, he asked as he walked towards Red Mist who was crying of laughter. “Hehe. Yes, it was quite funny”, Red Mist wiped the tears away, “I have not seen something like that since we have come here” “So, ready to hear the story about why we came here?” “Again?” “Yes, again” “Hmm…”, Red Mist looked at the ceiling, thoughtfully, “Sure, why not. I mean, in case someone is watching us and writes down every move we make, it would be quite useful” “Okay, then let me tell you the story again.” The door to the throne rooms flung open. Red Mist and Casus Fors turned around and looked surprised at the entrance. A orange pony with a blue mane walked in. “Dammit, not him again”, Casus whispered to himself as he put on a fake smile, “Flash Sentry, my favourite guard! Why are you here?” Flash walked towards Casus and Red Mist as he flapped his wings in anger, “You know why I am here!” Casus thought for a second, “Sorry, but I think not” Flash stood in front of him and put his hoof on Casus’ chest. “Hey! Nopony is allowed to touch…”, Red Mist began but was interrupted by Flash who kicked him in the face. Red Mist fell on the floor, unconsciously. “Listen Casus”, Flash snorted, “It has been three years now; Three years since you took over this land and I have not yet seen any of the things you promised me!” Casus wiped off Flash’s Hoof from his chest and looked at him, coldly, “First of all: Thank you for hitting Red Mist; even though we are good friends, sometimes he gets annoying. Secondly: What did I promise you? As far as I remember I didn’t promise you anything. I said that if you do not get anything, you will get everything; that is a paradox, it does not work.” “You are a dirty trickster, Casus”, Flash said. “I would not consider myself dirty”, Casus smiled as a Pig wearing a propeller-hat flew in the room. Flash looked at the pig and then at Casus, “Is that the work of your stupid element?” “Yes, indeed. I would not call it stupid though” “Admit it, you know that it is stupid”, Flash said as the pig crashed into a wall. “It is not stupid, it is funny” “You call that humor?”, Flash pointed at the pig which was now spinning in circles, “This is not funny at all. It feels like you are trying to create funny moments with stupid, senseless and random stuff” “Hello”, Casus pointed at his crown, “Element of Randomness, forgot?” “How could I? It is the most ridiculous looking element.” Casus laid his head on his shoulder, “When did you change your personality?” “What do you mean?”, Flash put on a confused face. “I thought you were a nice pony” Flash laughed, “You never got to know me well; nopony did” Red Mist stood up and shook his head, “Why did you do that?”, he still felt a little dizzy. “It was fun”, Casus and Flash replied at the same time. Red Mist laughed sarcastically, “oh, Haha. Very funny. Almost as funny as you, Casus” “So it was hilarious?”, Casus asked. “No. You are only funny when you hurt yourself”, Red Mist said, coldly. Flash nodded his head, “He is right about that” “So nopony thinks I am funny?”, Casus looked a bit sad. “Convince me of the opposite; tell a joke”, Red Mist said. Casus laughed, “You want me to tell a joke? There is nothing easier than that. Wait a second, let me think”, Casus pulled his beard with his right hoof and thought of a joke. Usually it wasn't hard for him to make a joke but he knew that Red Mist would not like his standard jokes; he had to think of something special. “Ha”, Casus stomped on the ground, excited, “ I got one” “Tell it”, Flash sat down on the floor, “I am sure it is going to be so hilarious”, his face showed that he was being sarcastic. “Ok. What do you call a Donkey with three legs?” “I do not know, what?”, Red Mist asked, bored. “A wonkey” A cricked jumped into the room and started chirping. Casus looked at it, “The Element stroke again!” “You mean the Element of Boredom”, Flash said, “That joke was bad and racist” Red Mist chuckled, “I think it was somewhat funny. A good-bad joke, if you know what I mean” “Thank you Red!”, Casus smiled, “At least somepony thinks my jokes are funny” “Whatever”, Flash said as he stood up, “Everypony has its own opinion.”, he trotted towards the door. “Please stay, we had so much fun!”, Casus shouted as Red Mist laughed. “That was sarcasm. I do not like sarcasm”, Flash said without turning around, “Because I do not like sarcasm I am going to tell it to you, directly. Casus, you are not funny and Red Mist, you are a douchebag”, he closed the door behind him. “Did I do anything wrong?”, Red asked, confused, “I mean, he was the one who kicked me” “He was also the one who came here for no reason and interrupted our conversation. He just wasted our precious time” “Actually, I should thank him”, Red Mist grinned, “I never wanted to hear our story again, anyway” “Come on!”, Casus punched Red softly in the shoulder, “You love our story” Red Mist smiled; Casus was right, he does like the story, even though it is quite boring and not really interesting. He watched Casus as he walked back to his throne. They knew each other since twenty years now; three of which they have spent in this world. They both loved it here, it was much better than the other world. Red thought for a moment; he knew why they came here but what he did not know was what Casus wanted to do next. According to him, he just wanted to have some fun here but Red knew his friend; he always wanted something bigger; it may didn't seem like it but Red was sure that Casus was not fully satisfied yet. He still wanted something more. “Red? Are you okay?”, Casus asked. Red recognized that he was staring on the floor for the last minute. “Uhm..yeah, I’m fine. I just thought a bit”, Red trotted towards the throne and sat down next to it. “Oh, okay”, Casus replied, “Are you ready for phase two?” “What do you mean with phase two?”, Red Mist asked, confused. “Oh, right. I forgot telling you about it. Dammit, Flash’s visit really messed up my whole schedule. Anyway, I was talking about phase two of our plan to take over Equestria. We came pretty far in the last few years but we forgot one thing: what about the others that tried to take over this land? What about Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra and Nightmare Moon?” “They all failed because of Twilight Sparkle which you locked away in our old world.” “Exactly! Twilight Sparkle is now gone which means that these villains may try to take over Equestria, too” “Now that you say it, you might be correct”, Red Mist said, “What do you want to do? Do you want to ban them in our world too?” “No, I have a better plan; we will visit them and then have a nice talk” “You think talking to them will convince them not to try to take over Equestria?” “You know about my convincing skills”, his horn flashed green as Red Mist laughed, “Of course I know about your talents” “Besides securing our regency, this is also perfect for telling everypony how we took over Equestria” “Why do you want to tell them?” Casus Fors smiled, “Oh, right, I never told you. Nopony except me and you remembers how I took over Equestria, not even Pinkie Pie” “Not even Pinkie Pie remembers?”, Red Mist asked. “No”, Casus said as he opened a trapdoor, “She does not”, a big sphere came out of the ground; Pinkie Pie was floating in it, covered by a strange, green light; she was unconscious. “And what makes it even better is that nopony remembers her” “Dun dun duuuun”, Luna said. “Are you kidding me?”, Shining Armor said, annoyed. He was looking for an exit in the dark black room. Time passed much slower in here than in Equestria. “Why did you even do that this time?”, Cadence asked. “It is okay”, Twilight said, “Princess Celestia said we do not have to worry about it.” Suddenly Luna fell on the ground and stopped moving. Everypony looked at her with surprised eyes. “Maybe we should worry now”, Celestia said and ran towards her unconscious sister.