//------------------------------// // Inner Struggle // Story: Swooping Pegasus // by FenrisianBrony //------------------------------// Pain. That was the first thing Rainbow felt after the battle. She was not fully awake, and yet, she was not fully dreaming, occupying both spaces simultaneously, but not truly in either. Memories, Reality. Hope, fear. These were the things that swum through the kaleidoscope of chaos that was Rainbows mind. She had dreamed before she found herself in this state, but the horrors had been too much, and her mind had shut the memories away so deeply that it would take months to find again. All she remembered from the dream was terror. She felt like a speck of dust in a storm, a tiny pinprick of light in the midst of the dark void. Only two things had managed to stay constant in the turmoil of her mind. Her mark, that of the sonic Rainboom, and the rune of the Swooping Hawk. Lost|Alone|Abandoned Her mind was flooded with a memory she had thought she had long forgotten. She stood alone in the streets of Cloudsdale, nopony she knew around her. The feeling of not knowing where she was, that now flooded her head. She recalled the time when Gilda had come back to Ponyville, before leaving, never to come back. The sudden part of herself that died when she tried to find her again. She remembered the feeling she had after she had left Hannibal, when she had first woken up on Saim-Hann. She remembered the sheer emptiness that she had felt after Elariques death. The feelings forced Rainbow to try and flee from the memories, but there was nowhere to hide. The shadows which she thought were safe, brought perils of their own. Darkness|Death|Rage|Hate She felt the terror she had felt when she had first encountered the Lictor, the absolute dread when she had found herself cornered, and the feeling of giving up when it had raised its claw. She remembered Aspoh field, the death that she had seen when she had fought there, and the final sacrifice of Talvan to save her. She had used the last of her energy to save her, and then she had died. She felt the feeling of anger that had erupted from her body when the warrior beast had killed Elarique, and using that power to kill the Tyrgon, not just drive it away, she had wanted to kill it, tear it limb from limb, rip through it, until it was nothing more than a stain on the floor. The thought of her anger towards the Orks, her humiliation of being beaten so easily by the Warboss. She remembered wanting to kill, and kill, and kill, until there were no more Orks in the Battlefortress, and then to keep going, to keep killing, until there were no more Orks anywhere. Ever again. She screamed again, feeling her physical body buck and kick and writhe in pain. Light|Hope|Friendship|Love Creating the sonic Rainboom, brining light to Pinkie’s life, and giving her friends their cutie marks. Running through the castle of the two sisters in the Everfree Forest, wanting more than anything to find Twilight Sparkle, still alive. She remembered her friends, her best friends, some of her only friends, some of the only ones she would lay down her life for in a heartbeat. Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie…Applejack. Her friend. One of the oldest she had. The only one who could keep up with her. She growled, reaching forward in her subconscious for anything that could help her. She could be strong for her friends. Strong for her. The beast in her mind roared as she pushed it back. She would beat it, and she would wake up. She wouldn’t give up. She couldn’t. Calm|Silence|Discipline|Peace Rainbow awoke on her cot in the temple of the Floating Assault, unarmoured and unclothed. She was alone. She still couldn’t remember anything, save for the crushing feelings that she had in the semi-dream world. The gloom she felt was a comforting embrace, devoid of anything to confuse or distract her. She closed her eyes and slept again. It was not voluntary. She did not dream. *** Equestria *** Rainbow looked around the assembled ponies, fixing each one of them with a cold gaze. They were all looking shocked at her, the violence she was describing, and her part in it. “Rain…” Twilight started, but rainbow cut her off. “Don’t say anything. Please. If you do, I won’t be able to finish. And I’m sorry. If this upsets any of you, please forgive me.” Taking a deep breath, she plundged back into the story. *** The 41st Millennium *** Gentle humming awoke Rainbow from her dreamless sleep. She found herself once again lying on the cot in her room. She tried to keep her eyes closed, even as the humming intensified, but a blast of cool air forced her to open them. As she was forced back into the waking world, she once again remembered the thoughts from before. She felt an image try to push itself to the fore of her mind, but she supressed it with a harsh growl. A red light began to seep into the room, acting more like a mist than light. Instinctively, she clenched her eyes shut, attempting to shut out the light. Even through her closed eyes, she could still sense the pulsing red light. Her breath was ragged, and came in short, sharp bursts, in perfect synchronisation with the pulsing light. It was slow at first, but quickly increased in speed, until it was a near constant light. She no longer had any sense of the time that passed between each pulse, she had no sense of anything. The light had become her whole world, pushing into her mind and driving everything else from her head, until all she could think of was the pulsing. On Off On Off On Off She clutched her head in pain, rolling off the bed as another colour forced its way into her head, this time, a vivid green. No more was the light either on or off, now it was red or green, the colour of blood, or the colour of the beasts that shed it. Her nostrils flared as she arched her back in pain, trying to suck in air to her burning lungs, but finding that she couldn’t, the pulsing lights causing her to exhale each breath the instant it touched her nose. “Wake up Rainbow.” Said a voice, gentle, but commanding. The words oozed through her mind, making their way past the lights, but coming out distorted and quite. The lights continued to flash, breaking down barriers in her mind, bit by bit. The barriers in her memories shattered and a flash of blue light cut into her body, before razor sharp claws burst towards her, ripping into her chest and tearing her in two. Pain, erupted through her body. She sat up straight, opened her eyes, and with what little breathe she had left in her lungs, let out a scream, one that didn’t sound like it had come from a pony, before she fell back to the floor, twitching violently, each movement bringing with it waves of pain, before the darkness took her once again. *** “Where am I?!” She screamed, roaring against the encroaching darkness, the scream causing more pain to erupt from her. Her body was floating weightlessly in the blank void, only staying still due to a small, metal tether that she was maintaining to the real life universe. The voice she heard before returned again, but it was kinder this time, less commanding. “You are in the temple Rainbow.” The disembodied voice of Kaliden said. “In the care of Juhani. Nothing can harm you here.” “It. Hurts.” She managed. “You must overcome the pain in your mind. Otherwise, your psyche will remain here, and your body will become separated from it. You will become an empty husk of a creature, unable to do anything, until you die, leaving only your mind trapped in unlife within the infinity circuit.” “What does, that mean?! It’s too. Much” Rainbow said, her voice raising in pitch. “You are not in physical pain. The pain is in your mind.” Kaliden said urgently. “But you must heal, if not, you will remain here, in this state of unlife, for eternity, until she who thirsts claims the infinity circuits of Saim-Hann for her own. “What do I do?!” She screamed. “You are still wearing your war mask. You must remove it and confront your mind properly.” “I can’t.” She sobbed. “You must.” Kaliden insisted. “The only enemy here is your own mind. There is no need to wear the mask of Khaine here. “How?!” She screamed, the pain rising in her body “Who do you love?!” Kaliden shouted, his voice raising in urgency. “What?” Rainbow cried. “A friend.” She managed, doubling up in pain. “Who? What is his name?” Kaliden insisted. “Her.” Rainbow managed. “Who?!” “Applejack!” She screamed, before biting her lip again, trying to keep any more screams inside her body. “Focus on her!” Kaliden shouted. “What do you like about her?!” “How she, is like me. How, she can beat me, if she tries.” Rainbow sobbed, collapsing to the ‘floor’ in pain. “Good. Focus on that. Bring those emotions to the front of your mind. Push everything else from it. Use them to pull yourself out of here, and back to the waking world.” Rainbow scrunched her face up, focusing on Applejack, her freckled face, her orange fur, her red cutie mark, her Stetson and her blonde mane, everything. Slowly, she felt a gentle vibration seeped up from her right forehoof, spreading throughout her body. It was only the slightest tremor, but it began to bring a feeling over than pain back to her body. Groaning, Rainbow managed to stand up, breathing heavily, but fighting through the pain. She looked around herself, searching to find if Kaliden was really in her mind, or if it was just his voice. The pain flared up in her mind again, and she pushed Kaliden from her mind. She once again focused on, this time on her non physical attributes. Her accent, her honest opinion on everything, even her strength when compared to Rainbows, everything. The pain continued to recede, until it was nothing more than a fleck in her chest, before just like that, it disappeared, and Rainbow fell, the ‘ground’ no longer holding her up. She fell, and screamed once more, unable to move her wings. *** Rainbow awoke with a start. She was still in her room, but this time, she was surrounded by the other members of the shrine, well, those who were still alive anyway. A dull pain ached through her whole body, but it was nothing compared to what she had felt in her mind. She went to sit up, but Tar’nek placed his hand on her chest, pushing her back down. “Rest.” He said simply. “To be honest, I didn’t know if you were going to live.” Jolee said, stepping forward. “The war mask is a dangerous thing, and sometimes, taking it off is hard for everyone. You on the other hand, aren’t an Eldar. Your mind works in a different way. If Makhutar was here, maybe he could have made this easier, but…” He trailed off. “You were close to death.” Tar’nek said. “Maybe it will be easier next time, maybe not, we don’t know. Nothing like this has ever happened before, so we can’t compare it to anything else.” Rainbow breathed out, shaken by the proximity that she had come to death, but she didn’t do anything more. “Um, I don’t know who to ask, so I’ll just say it.” Rainbow said uncertainly. “When I first, well, thought, I awoke, I could only see two things, no matter how much I tried to think of something else.” “Interesting.” Jolee said, and Rainbow fixed her gaze on him. “What were these symbols?” “One was my cutie mark.” She said uncertainly, suddenly feeling that it was a stupid concern. “And the second?” Kaliden asked. “The rune of the Swooping Hawks.” She admitted. “Interesting. Two symbols, one of your old life, and one of your new one.” Jolee said thoughtfully. “And tell me, if you focus on the two symbols, what happens?” Scrunching her face up, she focused on the two symbols. They appeared in front of her in her mind’s eye, but this time, they were different. Blurred, almost as if they were out of focus. “Well?” Jolee asked. “I can see them, but they’re all blu…wait.” She said, before cutting herself off. She looked at the two symbols as they began to move, slowly gravitating towards each other, until they were right next to them. “What is it?” Kaliden asked. “They’re moving together.” Rainbow said. “Watch them, tell me what they do.” Jolee ordered. Nodding, Rainbow looked at the symbols again, as they slowly pushed into each other, flowing around the other symbol, before the movement stopped and the single symbol hovered in mid-air. “It’s stopped moving.” She said. “The two symbols have merged into one.” “Describe it.” Tar’nek encouraged. “It looks almost exactly like my cutie mark.” She began, “But there are prongs, like the rune of the temple. There’s a gem inside as well, green.” “What do you reckon it means?” Goroic asked. “I believe our newest member has made herself a new temple rune.” Kaliden smiled. “What?!” Rainbow asked in disbelief. “From all records, when an Eldar joins a temple, they merge with it. If they are meant to be there, then nothing happens. If they are not, then sometimes a symbol of another temple appears to them, or maybe even the rune of command if they are destined to be an autarch. Sometimes though, very rarely, a new symbol, and a new temple is created. The last Eldar to do that was Irillyth, of the Shadow Spectres.” Kaliden explained. “And you think I’ve done that? Created a new temple?” Rainbow asked, still disbelieving. “No.” Kaliden confirms. “In the past, the Eldar who did that were already Exarchs, lost on the path of the warrior. Only an Exarch can truly found a new temple. Perhaps, this is a sign of what is to come, perhaps, it is just the universe throwing a bone to you. I do not know.” “Well, if you are destined to found a temple, what are ya going to call it?” Tar’nek joked. Rainbow thought for a moment, before smiling widely. “The temple of the Swooping Pegasus.”