//------------------------------//
// That Night 
// Story: Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane 
// by Emerald Oracle 
//------------------------------//

	And that is why I believe that copious amounts of fire can solve anything. 

"Fine, but can you teach me how to teleport now?" Kenny asked. 

Very well. Teleporting spells are easy, but costly. Moving a person from one spot to another across a single plane means you only have to think about one thing, location. However portals are a methodical punch through time and space. Teleports break you down in one place, and reconstruct you in another. This can use up a lot of mana, especially over distances. Use it wisely. To start, find a magic word of your preference. When you've done that the spell works like this, you have to visualize the location you want to be. Really see it in your mind's eye.

Kenny thought of Teletrans as a usable word. He envisioned the bathroom he had used a minute ago (Did you know pony toilets are low-set versions of regular toilets?). Once he was sure he had it he cast the spell.

"Teletrans..." Kenny muttered. He suddenly felt lighter than air, his vision swam with color and he lost all physical sensation. It had lasted only a fraction of a second before he was back, only this time he was in the bathroom. Teleporting sure had been an interesting experience. "Well I'm already here!" Kenny said to no one in particular, "Now would be an excellent time to take a shower!" 

Kenny pulled back the curtain and turned on the faucet. When he stood up he hit his head hard on the shower head, which was a good foot lower than acceptable. After a few choice curses and a rubbing of knots, Kenny got a closer look at the shower head. It was set at exactly below his chin, and angled so that it would hit his chest dead on. He would have to crouch or even sit to properly use the shower at all. Kenny settled for a long, relaxing bath over the quick shower and bed. What the shower lacked in height, it made up in tub size. It was almost a mini Jacuzzi. Kenny turned on the water and brushed his teeth while the tub filled. He had found that a brush and some basic mint toothpaste had been left for him.

His teeth shiny and clean and the tub filled with hot water. Kenny removed his white polo and beige khaki's along with his Rolex and boxers. He slipped into the warm water and let out a sigh of content. He had long forgotten the pure joy of simply sitting in a tub of water. 

He sat like this for a while, simply soaking in the bath.





Luna dashed through the royal palace's vast kitchen, grabbing various ingredients and a large salmon. Celestia simply stood back and watched Luna prepare their guest's meal. 

"You know this won't work right?" Celestia said before munching on an apple purloined from the pantry. "You ruined any chance with him when you molested him during your questioning, which was really wrong no matter what way you spin it."

"I care not!" Luna said, almost proudly. She began filleting the fish, preparing the oven, and chopping up various greens all at once with her magic. "He has been the first to even partially satisfy the needs that all creatures of the earth share since my banishment. I also find him kinda cute." She stated the last comment matter-of-factly. The two fillets were thrown into a baking pan with some onions and carrots, various marinades and spices liberally sprinkled over it all.  "He has an exotic charm to him, and a personality that I have not seen in any of my previous lovers."

Celestia quirked an eyebrow at this, "Really? Pray tell what his personality is after only having met an hour ago."

"Simple, one who does not fear the wrath of one who can easily crush him." Luna said with a smile. She placed the dish into the oven and set the timer. Then she began setting a plate with the collared greens she had chopped earlier. 

"What?" Celestia asked, honestly confused. "If I recall he ran rather than face us when we first came to him."

"Oh, but that was him performing a daring break-out. He wasn't running in fear, he was running to once again embrace freedom." Luna said as she arranged the plate, occasionally garnishing with little streaks of oil and vinegar. Her eye's gained a misty, far-away look as she continued, "He is also the only to ever stand up to me. No stallion or gryphon of any status has done that. To find someone so brave as to confront an alicorn, and not end up being another power-crazy maniac, is refreshing and comforting."

Celestia's features softened, "Luna, I understand completely how you feel, but we both know any interest you currently have in him is because you are on an emotional high from your estrus. Do you really want to go to all this trouble to win some stranger's affection when your own feeling's will fade by the end of the month?"

Luna finished setting the plate, then she looked straight into the wall seemingly lost in thought. "Be that as it may be, I do not wish to regret never having tried. Regardless, he will one day return home, and when he leaves I will prefer that I know that it wouldn't have happened rather then living on asking myself 'what if?'" 

"Luna..."

"I know sister, it isn't about me. I at least want to try and make up for my deplorable actions earlier today. We will see if he truly does not want me."

Celesta solemnly watched as Luna opened the oven and removed the salmon. Luna gently placed the fillets on a bed of collared greens with a side of rice and assorted veggies. When she was sure it was all perfect she set the plate on a silver platter and covered it. 

"Shall I call a servant to have it delivered?" 

"No, I plan to give him this myself."





There was utter silence as Luna pushed the door open, the dish floating lazily behind her. Kenny's room was empty and not a noise could be heard. Luna silently strolled into the room, looking around for any sign that Kenny was still in the room.

As she took her last step to being entirely in the room, Kenny slid out of the steaming bathroom wearing nothing but his shirt, socks and a pair of Rainbow Dash themed underwear, completely oblivious to his audience. His Ipod, sitting on the nightstand, blared out another couple iconic notes.

Then Kenny burst into song, "Just take those old records off the shelf! I'll sit and listen to'em by myself! Today's music ain't got the same soul! I like that old time of rock'n roll!" 

Luna just stared with an open jaw as Kenny danced across the room to a type of music she had never experienced. A light blush began to grow on her cheeks as she watched the fervent, almost primal, display.

"Don't try to take me to a Disco! You'll never even get me out on the floor! In ten minutes I'll be late for the door! I like that old time of rock'n roll!" Kenny began to gyrate his hips in rhythm to the song. Luna's blushed increased ten-fold and she began to slowly walk back out, Kenny still dancing and singing all the while.

Celestia had been waiting just outside the door for when Luna would be unavoidably shot down. She hadn't expected Luna to return so quickly. 

"He didn't let you down too hard did he?" Celestia asked, fearing for Luna's often sensitive emotions. Her concern vanished when she saw Luna's face as Luna finally turned towards her. She wore a smile not unlike that of a school-filly, a powerful blush dominating her face. 

Celestia fixed her sister with a glare. "What happened?" She growled.

Luna snapped out of her trance. "N-nothing!"

"What HAPPENED!" Celestia yelled.

Luna dropped the salmon and began to run, "I'll never tell you!"

"GODDESS DAMN IT LUNA!!!!!"

They both ran up and down the halls like a couple of mad-mares. Kenny stuck his head out of his room looking for the source of the commotion. When he saw the silver dome on the floor he promptly lifted it and looked inside.

"Salmon!? My favorite!"





Kenny was sitting in the Normandy's starboard observation deck, enjoying the view of the Citadel as the ship flew towards the mass relay. It was an excellent view, the nebula's pink clouds giving off an unearthly glow that brought peace to Kenneth's mind. He layed back in his chair and soaked it all in. He was happy.

"Wow..."

Kenny nearly got whiplash when he heard Luna's voice. 

"I have never seen anyone with a dream quite like this one." Luna was laying on the floor soaking in the same great view as Kenny. Kenny, however, was currently having a mental breakdown as combination of what she just said and the implications of her presence hit him full speed. 

"What are you doing here?!"

Luna looked up sadly at him, "I wanted us to make up. I even made you dinner, but you were too sexy."

"What!?"

"Either way, I am here to make amends. By the way, how was the dinner?"

Kenny just stared at her like she had grown two heads. 

"Oh dear, I've made things worse haven't I?" Luna said pitifully, her ears drooping. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She said, punctuated by her hoof smacking her forehead.

"Look," Luna said after she was done reprimanding herself. "All I want is for us to be friends. I know that you really don't want me the way I want you, but that will fade in a week or two. I just don't want you to hate me is all." Luna looked hopefully back up at Kenny. Kenny's expression had shifted from shock to mild surprise and finally to pity. Luna really wanted to make things right, Kenny saw that. 

Kenny took a breath before responding, "I already told you its fine-"

"But it isn't fine!" Luna yelled as she leapt on him, pressing her hooves into his shoulders and staring him right in the eyes. "I took advantage of you! In my day such actions were met with swift and brutal justice! I let my emotions get the best of me! I used you like some common sex toy!"

"Luna, it was just a kiss."

Luna pushed off Kenny and continued her rant, "And I can't stop thinking about it either! It was great! It was the best I've had in such a long while! I just-aaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Luna screamed at the top of her lungs. Kenny was, as any man would be, confused as to what had set her off. 

"Are you okay?" Kenny asked innocently. 

"I AM NOT OKAY!!!" Luna screamed, "ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS RUTTING!!!!"

"Maybe I should go?" Kenny gingerly asked, getting up from his seat. 

"No, no, I'm fine." Luna said, taking deep breaths. "Just- Let's start over, okay?" Luna said. She sat up and stuck out a hoof. "Hello, I am Princess Luna of Equestria. It is a great pleasure to meet you."

Kenny sat back down and reached for the hoof warily, ready should she explode again. Eventually he grasped the moonstone slipper covered hoof and they shook. "Hi, I'm Kenneth Washington Lee. Everyone calls me Kenny though."

"All right, then I shall call you Kenny as well. Tell me, have you ever been in a lucid dream?"

Kenny's interest rose at this, "No, what is it like?"

Luna gave a coy smile, "You're doing it now."

Kenny looked around him and finally realized where he was. He was on the Normandy, in space!

His gaze eventually landed back on the sweet smile that Luna was giving him.

"What can we do?" He asked.

Luna adopted a mischievous look, "Anything."





Celestia slowly creaked open the door to her sister's room. After she had chased her through half the castle, Luna had finally realized that she could teleport and had locked herself in her room. Enchantments and a magically reinforced lock had stopped Celestia from entering earlier, but now Luna was sleeping and the enchantments had worn off. Celestia now only wanted to check that her 	sister was okay. 

Luna lay curled into a little ball, her hooves holding a pillow close to her body and a joyous smile graced her pristine features. Celestia couldn't help but smile, glad once again to have her little sister back. She turned to leave when Luna mumbled out the most confusing phrase Celestia has ever heard.

"That's right." Luna said with a sneer, "This blue princess has a whole biotic bomb ready for you Cerberus scum."