Chapter 1
Dan’s hand passed through the magic mirror, halfway expecting his body to be swallowed and never to be seen again. He didn’t feel cold or hot, just like a water with no temperature as his body passed through. The second the small man stepped through, there was instant regret. Lots of it. It was a spiraling vortex, surrounded by colors of purple and green. Almost as if he was being flushed down the toilet. All he could do was open his mouth and scream at the sensation.
“Say, Phoenix...” Rainbow asked, turning to look at her partner.
“What is it?” Phoenix responded, the scream not exactly comforting. The former lawyer had both eyes closed a bit, teeth biting his lower lip. He was next, so any excuse to prolong going through that thing was good.
“Why did Dan volunteer to go first? It doesn’t exactly fit his M.O.” Rainbow said as she landed next to the mirror and looked inside.
“Knowing Dan, he wanted to go first and get any treasure first...” Phoenix released a sigh and then shook his head to the sides. “Or he had to get away before he exploded. I have never seen Dan so angry before. Especially after we all heard what Celestia did.” Everyone stopped and turned to look at Princess Celestia, some with frowns, some with weapons being prepped, and others with concern. “She’s lucky Miles snapped me out after Dan’s outburst.” Phoenix turned his gaze away from the Princess to look back at the portal. “Or I would have used everything in my power to have her dethroned and thrown in jail.”
“Yikes...” Rainbow slowly took steps back from the Element of Hope. Phoenix had said that last line in very low voice, almost dripping with venom. The last time she saw Phoenix get this angry, he allowed a hospital to get burned down. There was actual malice in his words.
“Damn, and I thought Dan was scary when he’s pissed,” Soma whispered.
Princess Celestia shut her eyes and released a sigh. She was going to have to make it up to all of the humans, in some way or another. “Guards, let us go. Give them a moment to say their farewells.”
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“Whoah!” Dan yelled out as he landed through the portal. Both eyes were closed, more from the spiral he just went through than in pain. The Element of anger felt like throwing up anchovies.
“Mmmm... Ohh...”
“What the?” Dan opened his eyes slowly, looking at his hands. While both knees landed on the ground, He had landed on something soft. Something squishy. Something... Alive? Each hand squeezed open and closed on mounds covered by a white cloth. His neck turned up a bit to look at the rest of the white cloth. It was a girl, with pink hair... And yellow skin?! She had both eyes closed, a rosy blush on her cheeks as she cooed a bit. Dan lowered his head, looking down at where his hands were again.
These were her breasts, giving them a squeeze once more.
Yep, breasts alright.
....
Wait, breasts?!
Squish. Squish.
....
They made an actual ‘squee’ noise, kinda like when a pony smiles!
...
Why was he still squeezing? His breath was taken away when he realized he was going to jail again, though this time, for statutory rape. These things were huge though, his hands felt how jiggly they were. Was she taping them down?
“What hit me?” The girl asked as she opened her eyes. Dan, frozen in place, eyes locked on her face. She moved her head slightly and looked up at his eyes.
“EEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
Both teens yelled out, Dan lifting both hands away from her chest as she moved her hands to cover her chest. He quickly stood up, moving back from her as she moved to sit up and back away from him.
“I’m sorry I just fell-”
“Please don’t rape me!”
“It was an acc- Wait! I’m not a pervert!” Dan shot both hands up to sneer at her... Only to notice something was off. His voice... The left hand moved up to grasp throat. Huh. He looked down at his clothes, which had also changed. Gone was the familiar and comfortable threads he was used to. He was wearing blue slacks instead of jeans, and his normal ‘JERK’ shirt was replaced with a white dress shirt and a royal blue school sweater. Both eyes moved to look back at the new world he arrived in. What in the blue blazes was going on? Was this the human world? But why was she-
“Are... you ok?” She asked, slowly standing up. Her eyes peeked out of her pink hair a bit, moving her hands to straighten out her white blouse.The girl stopped crying, opening her eyes slowly to look up. When she saw him reach for his throat, she had to stop with her current train of thought. Was he hurt? She completely forgot about the pleasant sensation of hands on her chest, and of possible rape, so she could focus on the strange boy. His black hair was combed a bit, falling over his forehead. Almost emo, but his skin was a fair color and his school uniform was maintained properly.
“Something’s wrong...” Dan replied, voice a bit of a cracked voice. This may look like the human world, but like no city he’s ever seen. He turned to look at the girl, noticing she was the same size as him. What the? Most girls, even teens, were taller than him. What was wrong with this place?!
“Oh! We must get you to see the school nurse right away!” She darted both of her hands out to him, pulling him to follow her.
“Wait! I gotta-” Dan tried to pull back from her. Damn his teenage hormones! Her breasts were rubbing against his arm.
“Oh, we can pick up my fliers to volunteer later! Come on!”
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“Umph!” Phoenix frowned, landing on both feet after coming through the portal. “That was freaky...” He added as he looked around. It took him a moment to recover, the last time he went through a magic portal was nothing like this. Luckily, he hadn’t eaten, so there was nothing to vomit. “Where am...” Phoenix stopped talking, turning to look around himself. Was he in the human world? Both of his eyes opened wide as he spotted cars, a street and buildings common to what he’s seen in movies. At least for the USA, this was vastly different from any era on Japan.
“Gangway!” Nate cried out, pushing through the portal and bumping into Phoenix. The former lawyer was pushed forward a bit, almost knocked down as he had to stumble a few steps forward. Nathan landed a bit unsteady on his feet, wobbling a bit after he settled behind his friend.
“Sorry Nathan, I should know better than-” Phoenix stopped talking, spotting... “Nate? Is that you?” Phoenix asked, his eyebrows raised. Nate was dressed in what looked like a school uniform. A blue blazer and pants, white shirt, and a red tie. The weirdest part though? Nate looked younger! The treasure hunter’s five o’clock shadow was gone, his skin had a bit of acne, and his skin was also not as weathered down. Even his voice was a bit off.
“Huh? Phoenix? Why do you sound so...” Nate stopped himself, lifting his left hand to point at the Element of Hope. While the sight of the lawyer in blue was normal, it was also dressed in a uniform, though his hair wasn’t as spiky.
“Is my voice off?” Phoenix moved himself to stand, looking down at his clothes. It was a lot like his old suit, but he could tell they were meant for a kid.
“A pox on portals!” Dovahkiin shouted as he landed next to the others. Phoenix and Drake took a few steps back to watch as the others started to come on through. His age had regressed also to a teen, though his muscular physique took a drastic reduction in size. He still looked strong though. Unlike the others in blazers, he sported a sweater vest. Dovahkiin moved both hands to his chest, feeling the foreign fabric. Why was he in a vest and not in a blazer? “This is odd...”
“I think I’m going to be sick...” Otacon came in next. The engineer had his normal brown hair cut really short, and some acne on his teen face. His glasses also changed to thick black plastic pair. “What the hell happened to you, guys?! Why are you wearing...” The doctor’s intelligence kicked in at once. “Oh please not high school... Not again! Not the swirlies and wedgies!” Each hand moved to hold the side of his head to start mumbling and shake a bit.
“That was kind of fun,” Soma chuckled as he walked through the portal with no problems. Unlike the others, he had lots of experiences with portals. Once he stepped through, his eyebrows raised up to look at the other teens. “What happened to you guys?!” Unlike the others, Soma had not changed at all physically. The only thing that did change was his clothes. He had the same uniform the others were sporting, save that he had a sweater vest like the Dovahkiin.
“Why are we kids?!” Nate asked in panic, looking down to pull at his blazer. “I hate school! I never even went to high school...”
“Umph!” Soma found himself getting pushed back as Ralf came in next. The soul hunter raised his left hand to look back at the soldier.
“Damn, that was weird,” Ralf said as he picked himself to stand. “Sorry Soma, you should really move-” The soldier blinked once, looking at the others.
“Why aren't you a teen?” Soma asked. Unlike the teens in uniforms, Ralf was wearing a blue tracksuit and a whistle around his neck. His headband was gone, instead replaced by a baseball cap.
“Me? What happened to you all?!” Ralf walked over to compare body height with the others. They looked so small in comparison to him. Both hand moved to his head though, feeling something off. “Where’s my bandana?!”
“Scootaloo! Come on! Those guys are being so loud!” A young and female voice called out. The guys stopped talking, turning to look at three girls walking over.
“You think they are here for the decathlon?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Why are they being so loud though? Our school’s going to win.” Scootaloo said.
“Crusaders? Is that you?” Dovahkiin asked, his right eyebrow raised in question. They looked like the fillies if they had been turned human. Now that he had a chance, the dragon slayer quickly looked around. It seems that these grounds were getting a bit more populated with more young ones as time passed.
“Hey! How do you know our...” Sweetie Belle stop talking, turning to look at the boys standing behind the older ones. Her eyes opened wide at the one in the center, the boy wearing a pair of shades. Her voice was in her throat now as she stared.
“Troops, are you ok?” Nigel asked. He and the other boys landed on their knees, with their arms up at ready. Wally to his left, Hoagie on his right. Dressed like the others in uniforms, but only Nigel in a blazer. Hoagie was no longer a round child, and had some of his hair seen under a pair of goggles worn on his head. Wally was taller and had a bit muscle on him, only his hair was cut much shorter. Nigel though, had short brown hair where he was once bald. All three boys had aged to their early teens, making them much taller than before.
“Guys? I think something’s wrong...” Hoagie said as he stood up. His head moved quickly left and right, looking at the other teens. “Number One! You got hair!”
“WHAT?!” Nigel moved both hands to his head and felt the brown strands. “I have hair?!” He shouted again.
“Hey! Shut up already!” Scootaloo called out. “Who do you...” She stopped, turning to look at Number Four. While he did wear a school uniform, his white shirt was untucked from his vest and his collar was messy. His blonde hair fell over his brown eyes a bit, and he had a skateboard on his left arm. “Woah.” She blurted out. A skater boy. A cute skater boi.
“Scootaloo?” Wally raised both eyebrows, not sure what or who he was looking at.
“Uhh...” Hoagie’s mouth opened a bit, his eyes turning left and right rapidly. “What’s going on?” He asked, looking between how Scootaloo walked closer to Wally.
“Yeah. Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo?” Applebloom waved her hands in front of Sweetie’s face.
The older teens turned to look at each other, then back to the younger kids.
“What’s with them?” Travis stepped out from behind the KND and walked over to look at Ralf. “And why are you dressed funny?”
“Travis, you’re in a suit and your hair is combed...” Ralf replied as he pointed at the assassin’s new getup. Travis frowned a second, looking down at his attire. A blazer and slacks, the same color as the boys. His tie though, was black.
“The hell is this?” Travis asked, moving his hands to touch the suit on him.
“My name’s Sweetie Belle, what’s yours?” The girl walked up to Nigel, holding out her left hand in a handshake to him as she blushed a bit.
“I’m... Nigel?” Number One moved a hand out to shake her hand in confusion. Why were his troops older? Why did he have hair? Why had the adults turn into teens? Why was this Sweetie Belle so cute?
“So... Are you good with that thing?” Scootaloo asked as she tried to hide the blush in her cheeks with a smug look. “And how’d you know my name? Seen me in our internet videos?”
“Hoagie, what’s the internet?” Wally whispered to his friend. “And why are you thin?”
“Don't ask me!” Hoagie replied in a hush voice. He turned to look over at the school. Finally, something familiar! Were they in an alternate earth? Number Two turned to look at the only girl not acting crazy. “What’s the school’s name?”
“This is Canterlot High. How can you not know that? Aren't ya’ll here to compete in the decathlon?” Applebloom asked, turning to look at Hoagie.
“Uhh...” Hoagie turned to look up at the older teens. Think, think, think...
“Yes. Yes we are,” Terra replied. Unlike the others, she was dressed in a navy blue skirt. She didn't look like she lost much in her age. “Can't you see the banners, guys?” The Esper pointed out at the big pink banner welcoming other school to the competition.
“Oh, indeed. We are the representatives from Star Academy,” Discord spoke, grinning as he stood behind Terra. Like Travis, he was dressed in a suit, but also had a vest. His black and gray hair was combed neatly, and his goatee had been trimmed. “Sorry, my students were being loud. You know how it is, school spirit and all that...”
“Hey Applebloom! We need helping setting up the... Oh hello!” A blonde teen walked up behind the little red head, holding her shoulders. “You guys are the Star Decathlon team?”
“Apple... Jack?” Dovahkiin asked, moving a hand to his red hair. What the hell was wrong with this world?
“How’d ya know my name?” Applejack picked her head up to look at the large teen. Damn, they grow them tall in Star Academy. The southern belle moved both hands to wrap around her sister’s shoulders, not liking how close Hoagie was getting.
“You don't know who I am, do you?” Dovahkiin asked as he stepped up to her.
“Enope,” Applejack stated as matter of factly. “Ah’d think Ah remember a feller like you.” Dovahkiin frowned a second, a bit sad by this fact.
Phoenix turned to look at Soma and nodded. Soma also turned to look over at the Crusaders and finally got a clue as to what was going on. This was some humanized realm of Equestria.
“But we do know about Coach Jones,” Applebloom said, big smile on her face.
“Coach?” Ralf questioned. And why was he the only one recognized?
“Well yeah. You are married to Miss Cheerilee. Aren’t you?”
“Married?!” Ralf cried out, both hands moving in front of his chest a bit. He picked up his hand to look at his ring finger. Yep, gold band. Damn you Glee show!
“Uhh... Where’s Dan?” Discord asked as he looked around. He raised his foot, looking down at some fliers he had stepped on.
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“Get away from me!” Dan cried out, trying to get away from the Nurse Redheart. Fluttershy had dragged him to the nurses’ office, which seemed to be in the east side of the school.
“I just want to see your throat, young man!” Red called out as she tried to calm down the teen. She was wearing a white lab coat, and kept her pink hair in a bun. They were both so lucky she got in so early. “Tell your boyfriend to calm down, Fluttershy!”
“Boyfriend?!” Fluttershy squeaked out as she felt a rush of heat on her cheeks.
“Boyfriend?!” Dan stopped, pointing at her. “Wait... Fluttershy?” Dan’s eyes went wide and the green pupils turned into dots.
“Umm, he’s not my boyfriend yet...” Fluttershy immediately moved both hands to cover her mouth, realizing she said that out loud. Even though her voice was quiet, it was loud enough so the others could hear. Her eyes went wide as well, looking back at Dan.
The Element of anger froze in place, feeling a chill go through his spine. Soma was going to murder him.
Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura.
Bonus:
Pinkie Pie walked to look around the empty gymnasium. With only two days till the gala, she had to make sure the place was ready. But there was still so much work left to do, and no one had volunteered to help her set up. She could feel her pink hair deflate a bit. Balloons, streamers, not to mention food, music, and sign up sheets.
“I need HEEAALLP!” Pinkie cried out, her hands moving to grab the side of her hair.
“Agents are,” A gray haired man sitting behind a giant computer screen in a dark command room started to say, “GO!!” Commander Kahn stood up, lifting his right hand to point his index finger out.
VVVRRRRROOOMMM
A vintage muscle car pulled through the streets, flying through the air after hitting a bump to land in front of Canterlot high. Phoenix Wright, Blue Spy, and Johnny Bravo jumped out of the car, landing on their knees to look at Pinkie.
“Are you ready?!” Johnny called out, holding a microphone in his left hand. “One, two, three, go!” All of the boys raised their arms to start singing and dancing as Pinkie moved in a blur to start decorating.