The following interview was conducted by me, Twilight Sparkle, and transcribed by Spike the Dragon.
Interview with Discord
Subject of interview: Creation of the world
I go into this interview with the pretenses that Discord is the surviving member of the Lords of Disharmony, mentioned in the myths and legends surrounding the creation of the world.Ok now that that’s out of the way lets head over to Fluttershy’s and see if we can find Discor- Spike are you still writing everything I’m saying? Well stop it… You’re still doing it… Spike you’re wasting ink and paper!
((For the sake of simplicity the transcription different speakers shall be highlighted in different color inks. TWILIGHT // DISCORD))
So the runt is going to be a stern ston ste What do you mean you don’t know how to spell it? Didn’t your mother teach you how to spell? I will not refrain from using big words. I can say whatever I like. Like bananas an- are you actually writing that?
Spike please stop writing everything he says… Unless it has to do with the interv- Spike are you writing down what I’m saying? What did I tell you back at the library! By the way the word was spelled s.t.e.n.o.g.r.a.p.h.e.r and no it wasn’t an insult. Now please stop writing unless it has something to do with the interview, ok.
Ok Discord I have a few questions I would like to ask you about-
Cotton candy?
No, please le-
Lemonade?
Discord plea-
Pinkie Pie’s powers?
Wait you know about that!?
Nope…
Then why did you menti-
What about chocolate milk?
DISCORD!
Yes?
Please can you take this seriously!?
Oh but Princess you know I take everything I do seriously… What’s with that face? Did I say something wrong?
Discord can we please just do this interview… The sooner we get it done the sooner we can leave.
Fine… Get on with it then… I’ll be ~serious~ about it.
You promise?
Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a soufflé in my eye.
Don’t you mean cupcake?
Yah, what I say?
Nervermi- what are you doing now?
Looking at what your little dragon is writing down… …oh come on you can spell soufflé without help but not stenographer? What have you been teaching him?
Could we please not talk about what I teaching Spike... I have some important questions to ask.
What if I don’t want to answer them?
Then I’ll go and ask Fluttershy to persuade you.
…have I ever mentioned how much I dislike you since you’ve become a princess?
No you haven’t
Well then… I dislike you since you’ve become a princess. You’re all bossy… well bossier then you were. Spike take a note on how bossy she’s become since becoming a princess
Spike don’t write that! Can we please get back to why we’re here?!
Fine, what questions do you have for me oh Great and Powerful Princess Twilight. Make sure you capitalize the great and the powerful kid… good.
-sigh- Well let-
Wow he ever wrote down your sigh...
-s get on with the interview, please…
Fine by me
-Ahem- A few days ago I finished compiling and creating what I believe to be the definitive legend of the creation of our world. It took many months of research. And I believe one of the figures it mentions may be you.
Really?
Yes, in the legend two beings known as Lords of Disharmony are mentioned several times.
Lord of Disharmony… Well that sounds like me. Many ponies do call me the sprit of disharmony. I prefer Lord of Chaos and Fun Times though.
Wait… You said two beings? OH CELESTIAS SWEET FLANK IS THERE ANOTHER ME RUNNING AROUND SOMEWHERE?!
No no no… According to the legend you killed hi- wait you’re saying that none of this is true? Because it seems like all this is new to you?
I’m not saying anything about anything being true or false…
…this was all a waist of time wasn’t it.
I’m not sure you haven’t asked me a question yet… That is why you’re here.
Even if I don’t get the answers I want this still is good research material I guess. Ok, Discord, what do you remember of the creation of the world?
Nothing, nodda, zip, zil, zero. I don’t think I was there… My earliest memories are wakening up under about a ton of rock and dirt.
I tried digging down but I just found hot burning molten magma… So then I tried going up and well you know the history… me exploding out of the ground in a blast of chaos leading the early nation of Equestia into chaos.
Good times…
Nothing else? Nothing before that?
Nope not- well… Hmm… let me think…
Are you remembering something?
Yah well… no… yes… maybe… All I got is fuzzy pictures. Like looking though glasses that belong to someone who has a horrible eye condition... Like that filly with the speech problem. She makes good peppermint sticks.
Please tell me more about the images.
Well for as long as I remember I’ve had these images. I’ve thought nothing of them, just sort of forgot about them for a while.
You’ve never wondered what they are?
Well sure I did… for about a second after I woke up, then I got board and dug down then up… Did you know there are some underground dragon lizard things that you can inflate like balloons until they explode? Kind of strange…
Discord if you don’t mind I’d like to cast a memory spell on you to see if I can’t help you clear up that image.
Doesn’t that spell make you remember everything? I don’t want to relive every moment of my life… well I would just not those statue years.
I can adjust it so you can remember only before a certain point in your life. In this case, when you woke up and reentered the world.
Fine… But only because it be funny to see you fail.
…ok… there! You remember?
…nope nothing…
Let me try again.
Nothing
One more time
Nope
How about-
Stop you’re embarrassing your self… on second thought keep going.
How come it’s not working?!
Well those memories are, if you’re correct the whole ‘Lords of Disharmony’ thing, as old if not older then the entire world. Plus I spent what is most likely countless boring years asleep under the surface of the world. So forgive me if my mind couldn’t hold on to them properly…
-sigh- But I was hoping that we could answer all these questions I have on why the world is what it is…
Maybe something aren’t meant to be learned, ea?
But… I was hoping…
You know what I’ll be nice and tell you something about one of those fuzzy pictures. Fluttershy always says I should be nice and help others so… yah…
Really? Well then what about that memory?!
What’s the magic word?
…please Discord.
Actually the word was aneurism, but I’ll accept please.
Ok… This one fuzzy shape I remember… It’s kind of strange but I hate it.
What?
Yah I hate this fuzzy little memory. I don’t know whenever I think of it all I get a surge of emotions every time I think of it… …like right now.
What kind of emotions?
Hate, odium, loathing…
Those are all the same thing.
Yah, but there different words for the same thing.
So what does this image look like?
You know, fuzzy, out of focus, I think it had a head…
So it was a living being?
Could be? Or it could just be a stuffed animal.
It could be the other Lord of Disharmony. The legend did state that you fought to the death with him.
Could be… but it doesn’t really matter now does it… I mean I’m here and he’s not so yah, go me!
It does matter, this could help explain everything about the way the world works the way it does.
Well I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, but I think we’re done here.
…yes… thank you for you time…
No problem. OH and I’m sorry about the pudding in your bed this morning…
THAT WAS YOU?!
-end of interview-