Twilight the Ethnographer

by juliemu


A Surprising Assignment

It was a perfectly average day in Ponyville when Twilight Sparkle received a not-so-average assignment from Princess Celestia. Twilight was tidying the library on a slow Tuesday afternoon, cleaning up the mess she had made that morning in a research frenzy. She lost her concentration and dropped the book that she was levitating when Spike let out a loud belch. Spike jumped, startled by the thump the book made when it landed, then scrambled to grab the scroll as it materialized from the green flame.

“Oops! What is it Spike? Does Princess Celestia have a new assignment for me?” Twilight asked eagerly.

“Let’s see,” said Spike, carefully unrolling the scroll and clearing his throat. “Ahem.”

“Dear Twilight,

I have heard talk lately of an unusual new breed of pony known as the Fluffy Pony. I have not had the opportunity to observe these ponies in the wild, but I am concerned by reports of their welfare. I hear that Fluffy Ponies may easily be led astray and that several have been harmed. I would like you to write a short ethno... enthogra... what?” Spike stuttered as he tried to sound out the unfamiliar word.

“Let me see that Spike,” Twilight said, reaching for the scroll.

“Ethnography, Spike. Princess Celestia wants me to write an ethnography about Fluffy Ponies so she can learn how to help them,” Twilight replied in her slightly haughty tone.

“Well Twilight, it’s sure a good thing that Fluffle Puff is staying with us at the library then! But what’s an ethnography?” Spike asked.

“The word ethnography comes from the Greek words ethnos, people, and graphos, writing. An ethnography describes a culture or group. One of the best ways that you can learn about a culture is through participant observation. That is when you go spend time with a group, in this case Fluffy Ponies, and get to know why they do what they do by taking part in their culture. The goal of ethnography is to describe ponies how they really are without imposing too much of our own bias on them. This is why we want to really get to know them and understand them,” Twilight explained.

“Wow, that sure sounds complicated,” said Spike.

“Oh it shouldn’t be so bad, especially since we have an informant like Fluffle Puff to help us get started,” Twilight returned.

“Should I wake Fluffle Puff up from her nap then?” Spike offered.

“Oh it is all right Spike. I need to consult some guidebooks before I talk to her so I know what kinds of questions I should ask,” Twilight said.

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Twilight Sparkle levitated a thick brown book down from the top of one of her shelves.

“Hmm, here we go, A Handbook of Ethnography. It says here that I should explain to Fluffle Puff what I am doing and make sure that she is okay with it first.” Twilight mumbled to herself as she browsed the dusty tome.

Twilight trotted over to the white shaggy rug that Fluffle Puff was napping on. Twilight hadn’t quite known what to do the day that Fluffle Puff appeared on her door step. It had been pouring down rain, and she couldn’t just leave the sad drenched pony outside, so Twilight had invited the pony inside and let her dry by the fire. Twilight had heard a few tidbits about Fluffy Ponies from Fluttershy, but that was her first encounter with them in the flesh. Twilight was initially worried that she wouldn’t be able to care for this rare breed of pony, but Fluffle Puff had settled in nicely. Fluffle Puff appeared to have relatively simple needs: crayons, cuddles, and tacos, lots and lots of tacos.

Fluffle Puff blinked her groggy eyes as Twilight approached and stretched her chubby pink hooves out from under her mountain of fluff. She was so fluffy it was hard to tell where the fluff ended and the pony began.

“Hi there Fluffle Puff. I have a few questions to ask you about Fluffy Ponies. What do you say we have some tacos and I explain myself,” Twilight said in a soft voice, careful not to scare the little pony.

“Pffft,” Fluffle Puff replied, nodding vigorously.

Fluffle Puff followed Twilight down to the kitchen, bouncing with excitement at the thought of tacos. The smell of charred meat filled the air. Spike was hard at work preparing their meal and he was just putting the final touches on the tacos.

“Here you go ladies,” Spike said as he slid the platter full of tacos onto the oak table.

The taco shells were filled to the brim with glistening cubes of meat and topped with a generous helping of guacamole.

“Thanks Spike! These look great, and I am sure they will help put Fluffle Puff as ease,” Twilight responded with a smile.

“PFFTTT!!” Fluffle Puff squealed as she grabbed a taco and started gobbling it down. Fluffle Puffs eyes grew wide as she munched happily on one taco and then another, her little pink snout covered in bits of taco shell.

“Now Fluffle Puff, I wanted to ask you some questions about Fluffy Ponies. These questions are to help Princess Celestia understand you better so she can help you, and don’t worry, if you don’t want to answer a question that is perfectly fine too,” Twilight explained.

Fluffle Puff nodded and brushed the taco crumbs from her mouth.

“Do you know where I can meet more Fluffy Ponies? I would like to be able to observe them in their natural habitat and hopefully join in on some of their activities,” Twilight inquired.

Fluffle Puff grabbed a red crayon with her mouth and started drawing a map of the area surrounding Ponyville on a napkin. The map was surprisingly detailed, perhaps Twilight had misjudged Fluffle Puff’s mental capacity. North of the Everfree Forest Fluffle Puff scribbled some round shapes that Twilight assumed to be Fluffy Ponies.

“Wow Fluffle Puff, this is great! Would you be willing to join me on a trip this weekend to visit the Fluffy Ponies? It sure would be great if you could help me figure out which questions to ask and how to introduce myself,” Twilight implored.

Fluffle Puff scrunched her snout up, tears welling in her eyes. She scooted over to Twilight and pressed her face into Twilight's flank.

“It is okay Fluffle Puff, but why are you afraid to leave the library?” Twilight gently asked, patting the little pink pony on the head.

Fluffle Puff this time grabbed a black crayon, and to the southeast of the Fluffy Ponies, hidden within the Everfree Forest, scrawled a jagged figure.

“Oh no, Queen Chrysalis!” Twilight gasped.