Fancy Pants' eyes glazed over as he slipped into the past. Snips listened intently to his words, hoping that within them would be the inspiration he needed to remake the stallion.
"It all started back in the Broncs. At that time it was a fairly impoverished district of Manehattan. It was a pony eat pony world out there, and I was no exception..."
~`~`~The Broncs~`~`~
Those were different times. Back then Fancy Pants roamed the streets. The thing is, Fancy Pants wasn't always his name. Nopony remembers what it was originally, but in those days they simply called him 'Slick.'
It was a cold day in the big city. The air smelled of smoke, urine, and alcohol. The rising sun glinted off the fragments of shattered glass and the smoky windows of cheap apartment buildings. There wasn't even enough space between them to fit a narrow alleyway.
Slick strolled by like he owned the place. He radiated confidence wherever he went, even though he didn't have two bits to rub together. As he took in the morning air he thought, You got this, Slick. There's a sucker born every day, right? You're the best, ain't ya? Then let's go make some money!
As his name suggested, Slick wore his blue mane slicked back, but with a single strand falling into his face just above his right eye. No matter how he groomed it, that one strand refused to stay back. Wetting a hoof with a quick spit, he tried in vain to restrain the one stray lock, but it remained stubborn as ever.
Giving up on his grooming, Slick trotted along the street with his signature half-smirk, half-smile. It wasn't long before he spotted the perfect target. Two stallions, both in suits, perused a magazine kiosk. One was a russet colored pegasus with an immaculately styled salt and pepper mane tucked under his fedora. The second was a dull gray unicorn who had no mane at all, but he had a short steel gray tail. Despite his odd appearance, this stallion was considerably larger than the pegasus and could easily snap Slick in half.
Slick quickly weighed his options. Pickpocketting wasn't his specialty, but it was the only choice he had if he wanted to eat today. He walked casually to the kiosk and pulled out a copy of The Weekly Stable, which he pretended to read, all the while keeping an eye on his target.
The russet pegasus settled on the day's issue of The Manehattan Times. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a bag of bits, poised to pay the vendor for his purchase.
There's my opening. Slick inconspicuously kicked the corner of the kiosk, causing the shoddily constructed racks to fall, knocking the pouch out of the pegasus' hoof. Slick quickly grips the pouch in his magic and slowly turns away from the scene, nonchalantly walking away.
I'm actually getting away with it! No more grazing in the park for Ole Slick! No sir! Today it's gonna be fresh salad with real tomat-
There was a solid thud and Slick felt his vision blur. He slumped to the dirty sidewalk and looked up to see the burly gray unicorn standing over him, levitating a short club. Slick wanted to run or even cry for help, but he quickly lost his battle with consciousness. He blacked out and crashed bodily onto the pavement.
Slick slowly regained consciousness, but it wasn't on the cold concrete. As he blinked away the stars, he tried to take in the scene before him. His eyes widened in awe and horror.
He lay in the entrance hall of a mansion! The sheer size of the room made his jaw drop, to say nothing of its beauty. The room was a work of art. Parquet floors led up to a polished marble staircase with a gold trimmed banister. The staircase split and branched out into two separate wings. He continued to observe the room with its painted ceiling and magnificent stonework, but he paused. The hall was flanked by two wide balconies supported by thick marble pillars. Which happened to be filled with murderous looking mares and stallions.
Slick finally realized just how dire his situation really was. Every pony above him wore a sinister sneer and more than a few of them were polishing knives or firearms. One mare even lovingly caressed a cannon that they somehow managed to fit inside. Turning around, he noticed that three large stallions stood guard in front of a set of ornately carved double doors. He was trapped.
"Ahem."
Slick whirled around to see two familiar stallions descending the staircase. The same two that he had stupidly tried to rob. The russet pegasus approached him, followed closely by his crony. He circled Slick slowly, as if appraising his worth. When he completed the circle, he sniffed and stared Slick dead in the eye.
"Do you know who I am?"
"N-no, sir." Slick fumbled.
The pegasus smirked. "Name's Don Cannoli, and this," he dramatically took flight and hovered level with the balconies, "is my family." He landed with a soft thump. Slick's eyes widened in horror.
I'm a dead stallion. I tried to rob a mob boss! How in Tartarus am I going to get out of this?
The Don continued to stare at Slick with his belittling smirk. "Now, nopony messes with my family, and I mean nopony. But you tried to steal from me. That means you were trying to steal from my children too."
Slick was starting to sweat, but he stood completely still. Don Cannoli continued, "I'll give you one thing though. Ya got moxy, kid. Tartarus below, you haven't even begged for your life yet! We could use a guy like you."
Then he uttered those words. The ones that would forever change Slick's life. "You got two options. Number one, you work for me. You'll be part of this family and it will be a part of you. Number two, the boys here beat you to a bloody pulp and leave you with nothin' but a mouthful of broken teeth."
The aging stallion extended his hoof, waiting for Slick's response. Slick gingerly extended his hoof, but he hesitated. He took a deep breath and shook the Don's hoof. He pulled Slick into a tight hug and kissed him on both cheeks. Then he whispered those four words that had been a death warrant for so many. "Welcome to the family."
The balconies exploded in a riot of cheers and whistles. All Slick could do was laugh nervously and wonder, What did I get myself into?
~`~`~The Barbershop~`~`~
Snips set down his scissors and stared at Fancy Pants, who was staring off into space as he reminisced about the past. Snips had barely begun to work on the stallion, but he wasn't about to rush the most important job of his short career. He glanced at his assistant and noticed that the disguised changeling's with wide eyes and open mouth. Snips coughed to get his attention.
"Let's take a quick break. Would you like some water, Fancy Pants?"
He snapped out of his stupor and forced a smile, "I believe I will decline, dear boy. Though do not deprive yourself on my account."
Snips offered an awkward bow and motioned for Gold to follow him. He pulled out two glasses and filled them from the sink. Gold took one with his magic and covertly whispered, "He's a criminal?"
Snips retorted in an angry whisper, "Maybe in the past, but not anymore. Don't gawk at him or anything. I can't afford to screw this up. It's our job to make him feel safe here, got it? I don't care if he dated Nightmare Moon and was on Discord's bowling team, we are NOT going to make a big deal about this. Can you do that?"
Gold noticed the intensity and conviction in Snips' eyes. He knew that his boss was completely serious and would accept no argument. The changeling nodded.
"Good." Snips chugged the water and returned to his customer. "So what happened next, if you don't mind me asking. I'm kinda curious about how all this links to you meeting your wife."
Fancy Pants grinned as he thought about his wife and the unusual circumstances that brought them together. "That is quite an interesting tale. I had been working for the Don for nearly six years at that time. Mostly smuggling or con work. I was clever and easygoing around ponies, even ones way up in high society. I first met my darling Fleur at the Grand Galloping Gala. I remember it like it was yesterday..."
~`~`~ Canterlot Castle: Night of the Grand Galloping Gala~`~`~
Slick was immaculately dressed in his suit with a pale white rose pinned to his lapel. This was the first time that Don Cannoli had ordered him to attend the Gala. Every year it is toted as the most prestigious and high classed social event, and everypony who is anypony absolutely must attend. Slick grinned to himself and absently tried to smooth back that same wayward lock.
Of course, he made the trip primarily for business. The Don wanted Slick to rub shoulders with some of the prestigious Canterlot families. The Family wanted to expand their business, and Canterlot had thus far been untouched by their type of 'entrepreneurial expertise.' One particular family caught their attention.
The Bluebloods had been a wealthy and powerful family in Canterlot for as far back as recorded history could account. The head of the family even took the title of 'Prince' as a reminder of some long forgotten royal ancestry; however, they had no real political power within the royal court. Their income came solely from some landholdings, a few lucrative investments, and a generous stipend offered by the crown. Like most wealthy families, this wasn't nearly enough to sate their ravenous appetites. It was no secret to anypony in Canterlot or beyond that they wanted more, and their greed could be useful to The Family.
Slick slipped on a smile perfected from years of practice, and strolled into the exquisitely decorated ballroom. Ponies in their finest clothes traipsed around with their noses in the air, acting as if being there made them somehow better than all of the other ponies who had merited an invitation as well. Slick promptly ignored them and scoped out the room for his target. It didn't take him long to identify the old white unicorn standing at the base of an enormous statue of Celestia.
Right in her shadow, huh? There's something poetic about that.
Slick held his head up proudly and cantered smoothly up to the aged stallion. "My lord, Prince Blueblood, it is an honor to make your acquaintence." Oh yeah, flattery is definitely the right tactic.
"It would be, had we been properly introduced; however, that doesn't seem to be the case. So now we are both in a distinctly awkward position because I assume that you know a great deal about me while I am at the clear disadvantage because I know nothing about you," the old stallion retorted in a voice as rough as sandpaper.
Slick's composure didn't falter in the slightest. "Please allow me to remedy that, Your Highness. My name is Slick, and I am a member of a prestigious business family in Manehattan. We are planning on expanding our operation to Canterlot, and we would love to have the support of the most powerful family in Canterlot." Clearly flattery failed. Maybe he's more of a straight shooter.
"Hmm. You have my attention, Slick; however, if you want to talk business it will have to wait until tomorrow. Ah! Here they are now!" The old stallion grinned broadly as a pair of unicorns descended the grand staircase and entered the ballroom. He beckoned to them and the pair walked forward.
They were both white coated unicorns, but that's as far as the resemblance went. One was a strapping golden maned stallion immaculately dressed in a tuxedo that was the top of the line in fashion. He would have been a paragon of charm and poise if it weren't for an unbecoming grimace that made him look like he stepped in something gross. It made him look petulant and feminine. His companion, on the other hoof, was vastly different.
A slim mare with a sharp jaw and brilliant eyes stood to the young stallion's left. She sported a dazzling white gossamer dress that looked like it had been tailored from morning dew and dragonfly wings. It exquisitely outlined her sleek body, but obscured it enough that every stallion in the room was aching to know exactly what hid underneath such an work of art. Her smile was even more dazzling. Grace and beauty positively radiated from the mare, and it was all Slick could do to keep his legs from turning to jelly underneath him. What in the name of Celestia's supple hindquarters is going on here? I NEVER get nervous. Pull it together, Slick!
The young stallion groaned, "Grandfather, Fleur has been trying to destroy my perfect mane all evening. Please order her to stop."
The older stallion massaged his temple, but the smile never left his face. He turned to introduce me to the new arrivals. "Slick, I would like you to meet my grandson, Querulous Blueblood."
"It is a pleasure to meet you, young Master Blueblood."
"I'm sure it is, peasant. Now would you leave me to finish my discussion with my grandfather?"
The old stallion glared angrily at his grandson. "Querulous, that was rude and unbecoming of a stallion of this family. Quite frankly, I see why your cousin feels the need to torment you. Mr. Slick has a business proposition that may very well bring our family back into popularity and I will not have you insulting him. Now YOU leave us, Querulous, or we may have to have a 'discussion' about your allowance."
The younger Blueblood nearly tripped over himself trying to escape from the thunderous gaze of his patriarch. Once he was out of sight, the old stallion sighed heavily and offered a weak smile to Slick. "I apologize for his behavior. The colt may be intelligent, but he isn't exactly polished. I believe you will find my great-niece to be better mannered." He gestured over the mare, who offered him a kiss on each gaunt cheek.
"Fleur de Lis, I would like you to meet Slick."
Slick took her foreleg and placed a soft kiss just above her hoof. The mare giggled lightly before saying, "Eet is a pleasure to meet you, Meester Sleek." She spoke with a strange accent. Prench maybe? She placed her leg gracefully back on the floor and spoke to her great-uncle. "Uncle, I 'ave been trying to keep my cousin out of trouble, but 'ee is zo stubborn."
"Don't worry about him, my dear. Just enjoy the night. Why don't you go dance?"
The mare gave her uncle an affectionate nuzzle before prancing gracefully toward the dance floor. Slick watched as ponies parted for the beautiful mare, but no stallions dared to approach her.
"She is a beauty. Isn't she, Slick?" The old stallion said with a smirk. Despite his years of training and emotional fortitude, Slick could not withhold a soft blush. "I thought so. Let me tell you something, Slick. She just arrived here from Prance. Right now she doesn't have a friend in this whole city, and honestly none of the pompous windbags in here have half the charisma you do."
"What are you insinuating, sir?"
The stallion shook his head, "And I thought you were smart. Go dance with my niece, you dense young colt!"
Slick grinned and bowed to the old stallion before making his own way onto the dance floor. I'm starting to like that old codger.
He found Fleur in the middle of a throng of adoring spectators. She leaped and twirled with all of the grace of a butterfly fluttering around a flower. Slick broke through the ring of well dressed ponies and walked calmly over to Fleur. She paused and considered him with a quizzical look. "My lady, would you honor me with a dance?" Slick offered a short bow to the mare.
She smiled. "Oui bien sûr."
And so the night went on. They danced until late into the night, and then they retired to the balcony overlooking the gorgeous Castle Gardens. The moonlight beamed down upon them as the Mare in the Moon jealously watched their frolicking. The air was brisk and chilly, and Slick was stunned as Fleur leaned her body against his to share their combined warmth. He blushed slightly as she lay her head against his neck and sighed softly. He looked down at her and she gazed back eagerly, as if expecting him to take them just one step further.
"Ah! There you both are. I was wondering were the pair of you went." The old Prince Blueblood walked through the doorway and called to his niece, "Fleur, it is time to leave."
Fleur stepped away, leaving Slick feeling cold and empty. She hesitated, then turned back and left him with a quick kiss on the cheek before trotting off back to her great-uncle. Slick could almost feel the old codger's smirk. As the pair parted, Blueblood said, "Tomorrow at lunch. Don't be late."
~`~`~Blueblood Manor: The Next Day~`~`~
Blueblood Manor was rightly named. The gargantuan house alone would shame anything short of the Royal Palace. Four stories high and constructed from solid marble, the Manor gleamed in the midday sun sending rays of sunlight scattering across the well tended gardens that surrounded the mansion.
Slick forced himself to stay calm, but his heart kept beating with excitement. He would be much calmer if this was just an ordinary business meeting, but his mind kept wandering to the mare who was even now in one of the many rooms. He forced himself to take a deep breath and knocked at the front door, which was promptly opened by a serious looking butler. The stallion beckoned Slick into the mansion and quickly shut the large door.
He silently led Slick at a brisk pace through several hallways decorated with the usual trappings of a wealthy home. Suits of armor, painted standards, rich tapestries, busts of deceased nobles, and more than a few portraits marked the halls that seemed to go on forever.
After what felt like hours, the butler threw open a set of double doors and ushered Slick into a lavish dining room. It was smaller than he would have expected, but it was much cozier. Seated at the table were the old Prince Blueblood and his great-niece Fleur de Lis. The meal was much simpler than one would expect in such a grand home. Consisting of a hearty salad and a thick vegetable soup. The old stallion grinned, "Ah, Slick my boy. Do come join us. I hope you brought your appetite." He motioned to a place at his side, directly across from his niece.
Slick took his seat. "Thank you for welcoming me into your home. Although, I do wonder where Master Querulous is," he added with a hint of confusion. The best way to keep their business connected would be for him to get in good with ALL of the family, not just the patriarch.
Fleur chuckled into her napkin while the old patriarch groaned. Slick shifted his confused smile between them until Fleur calmed down and said, "'Ee vas too drunk last night and stumbled eento a closet. Vee found 'im trying to 'make out' wis a mop."
She actually laughed so hard that she fell out of her chair, while the old stallion laid his chin upon the table and massaged his temple with both hooves. He added, "The worst part was carriage ride back where he felt the need to stick his rump out the window and shout, 'Behold the future Prince Blueblood. Give him a kiss peasants!'"
Fleur continued to roll around on the floor, eventually ending up under the table. Slick peek under the table to see her staring up at him from the floor. She broke into another fit and crawled back into her chair, but this time Slick joined in her laughter. Even the old codger was having a hard time maintaining his stern expression. Their laughter was cut short as they heard a clatter and loud cursing coming from the hallway.
Querulous Blueblood barged into the dining room and grumbled as he plopped himself down next to his cousin. The old stallion raised an eyebrow and commented, "Well, my boy, I am surprised that you are up this early. Why, it's barely past noon! Where DO you get the energy?"
Whether it was stupidity or the hangover, Querulous Blueblood ignored his grandfather's sarcasm and stared blankly into his soup. A moment later he pitched forward face first into the bowl.
"Um, couldn't he drown?" Slick inquired.
"'Opefully," Fleur replied with a grin.
The old stallion closed his eyes and counted down, "3... 2..."
"HOT HOT HOT!" The younger Blueblood sat bolt upright in his chair and glared at the soup. He swiped at it angrily and sent the bowl flying through the air, where it shattered against the far wall.
"Huh, my countdown was off. Guess I'm just getting old."
Querulous groaned, "Ugh, now my coat is ruined. I might as well go back to bed since the day is already ruined." The stallion grumbled under his breath as he staggered through the glass doors leading into the back garden. He didn't take a dozen more steps before he pitched to the side and landed in a rose bush. The ponies still seated could hear him snoring.
The old stallion pushed away his plate. "Now I've lost my appetite. Would you mind terribly if we adjourned to the library to discuss our business?"
"No, sir. That sounds wonderful."
"Good, good. Fleur, would you be a dear and help you cousin get back to his bed?"
The younger Blueblood shouted, "YOW! FLEUR, WHY DID YOU PUT TACKS IN MY BED!?"
The old stallion hacehoofed, and Fleur chuckled, "Only eef I can really put tacks in 'ee's bed."
Funny, charming, beautiful, and slightly malicious. Hold the phone, I think I'm in love!
"No more than five, and only if they are no longer than one quarter inch." Fleur nodded to her uncle and trotted outside to help her cousin. Slick followed Prince Blueblood out of the dining room and through a maze of hallways which led into a spacious library. Books of every possible subject crowded on shelves that stretched all the way to the ceiling.
Prince Blueblood sat on a plush couch and Slick claimed the one opposite him without hesitation. The old stallion poured a dull amber liquor from a decanter into two glasses. Then he levitated two ice cubes from an ice bucket and deposited one into each glass. He offered one of the glasses to Slick, who grasped it with his own magic.
"Now then, I believe that we have business to discuss." The old stallion gazed intently at the younger. Gone was his charming wit and dry humor. The stallion sitting across from his was serious and would not be trifled with.
Slick was not deterred, "Yes, sir. My family proposes that we establish a lucrative business inside Canterlot that will benefit both of our families. Especially our power and wealth."
"Mhm. And what kind of business did your family have in mind?"
"A doughnut shop." Slick replied plainly.
The old stallion blinked in confusion. "A doughnut shop?"
"A doughnut shop."
"What kind of fool do you take me for? You wouldn't waste my family's time and resources for a simple bakery. Especially if your 'family' is as prestigious as you claim them to be. I want answers, Mr. Slick."
"Very astute, Your Highness. The bakery is merely a front for my family's true objective in this city."
The stallion pinned Slick with a hard stare, "Go on."
"Don Cannoli is a stallion who makes it his business to... obtain certain items that are hard to come by."
The old stallion sighed, "He is a mobster who makes his living selling dangerous and illegal items to an unsuspecting public. Let me guess, drugs, organs, untaxed gems? Well I will have no part of it." The stallion rose from the couch and stood at his full height. There was thunder in his voice. There was no denying the his regal bearing, and Slick was mildly intimidated, but he couldn't let it show. "As long as I am head of this family, we will strike no such deal with criminals. I want you out of my sight, and if I catch you on my property again I guarantee that you will be arrested."
Slick pulled a business card from his tail and deposited in on the table. He offered a deep bow and walked away. Pausing briefly, he glanced over his shoulder at the old stallion. Prince Blueblood shook his head at the ground. Slick only just caught the the muttered words, "I expected better."
Can't change who I am, old timer. I belong to the Family now. Still wish this could have ended better. As much as he didn't want to, Slick liked the old stallion. He had a strong and commanding presence, but he was still capable of love and affection.
Slick tried to see himself out, but he soon got lost in the maze of hallways and corridors. He kept his eyes and ears open for any sign of somepony who could help him find the exit. He'd even settle for a room with a window that he could crawl out of. Wandering the house, he heard a soft voice singing in a language that he didn't understand. The tune was lovely and melodic. It rang in his ears like a chorus of bells.
Slick listened intently and followed the sound into a brightly lit sun room looking out over a gorgeous lake. Lounging on a luxurious couch was none other than Fleur de Lis. She smiled as Slick entered and asked, "Zo, 'ow did your beeznis wis Uncle go?"
"I'm afraid it didn't go well. This may very well be the last that you will ever see of me."
Fleur looked confused, and more than a little saddened by the news. "Zat is a shame. And we were just geeting to know each uzzer."
Struck by a moment of inspiration, Slick took another business card out of his tail and levitated it over to Fleur. "Your uncle forbade me from returning here, but he never said that we couldn't meet. If you ever wish to see me again, then send a letter to this address. I will do my best to meet you."
Fleur stares at the card before carefully slipping it into her own tail. "Where will you go?"
"Back to Manehattan for now. The boss needs to hear that the Prince doesn't want our business. After that, I don't know."
She slipped off her couch and walked over to the stallion. She gently placed a hoof on his chest. "We will see each ozzer again, oui?"
Slick lifted a hoof and gently stroked her mane. He smiled. "I sure hope so."
He opened the door and walked outside into the dazzling sunlight. He didn't even spare the sprawling mansion a backward glance as he trotted across the yard and made the long trip on hoof back to the Canterlot train station. Don Cannoli would not be pleased with his news. Slick felt no shame for his actions; however, there was a twinge of guilt. The old stallion stood his ground and Slick could respect that, but the Don and his men may react a bit differently to the insult.
I am NOT looking forward to this.