//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: the fractured shard (edited) // Story: Shards of a former Sin // by Bandana The Reaper //------------------------------// Pain... my world is pain... my mind, my last sanctum, is filled with it... ...that is untrue, this part of my mind, this shard, is somehow able to escape the pain... or at least withstand the multitude of torments it is registering my soul being put through... ...for how long have I been tortured?... I... I can not tell, a day?... a week?... a year?... ...for all I know what feels like a eternity might be just a heartbeat... ...why do I hold on?... why don't I simply let myself be ripped asunder and cease to be?... ...it is because... because... Because I can not...I will not let myself go... no matter what I am put trough, no matter how long, I have to hold on... for my sisters sake... my interference allowed you to become... my defiance allowed you to grow... my sacrifice allow you to still be free... ...I miss both of you equally, even if you don't remember me, Muffin... even if you hate me, Rage... I will always defy him, even if it is simply by still existing, I will defy him to keep you safe... ...I will deify him. ~ ~ ~ ...Something has... changed... there have not been any new pains... the old are still there... but... during all this time he has never left me to endure any kind of pain for this long without introducing a new one... ...Have I been forgiven?... no... he would not forgive me... he holds no forgiveness within him... ...Are there no more pains for him to put me through?... that is... doubtful... he is... creative to begin with and he is the champion of Nagmar... he would not have much difficulty to obtain new ways to make me suffer... ...Then the question is... why is he waiting?... ...Is he...is he trying to lull me into a sens of security... to strike when I lower my guard?... ...Is he constructing a more complex torture for my soul?... one that will make the other pale in comparison?... ...Or is he just letting me try to second-guess what his true intentions are... slowly breaking down trying to think up a way to counter it?... ...There is no way for me to know... and that in its own is a torture... ...One that I am putting myself through... ~ ~ ~ ...Nothingness... there is nothing else here... even the pains have faded... like candles in the dark... winking out one by one... until only the nothingness and I remain... is it fitting or irony?... considering my name... The lack of pain is... it almost seemed wrong, like something is missing. After so long, the pain is a part of me, slowly overtaking me like a spreading infection... ...How long?... for how long have I been like this?... forgotten?... abandoned?... I am unable to tell... just like with everything else since I was put here by him... ...Irony... might be irony... sins I am lost in it... I am lost in the- “You are a troublesome soul.” A voice?!... here?... do I know it?... it is... Gaia?... “Be gone.” What?... what is h-happening?... n-no!... I can not go!... my sisters! I must be! I must be to keep them safe! Don't take me away from them! “Be gone.” No please... someone help! Pride! Gluttony! Envy! Greed! Lust! Sloth! Kathrine! Rinna! Kobolt!... anyone... p-please... Gaia... please... don't take me from them... “Be gone.” 'DON'T TAKE ME FOM MY SISTERS!' ~ ~ ~ ...Pain...I am in pain again... but it is... different... I feel pain in... limbs... aching limbs, rumbling organs... a heartbeat, so weak, so painful... My mouth is dry... so, so dry... it hurts to draw breath... “Ah tell ya, Bloomberg looks mighty fine today, don't ya think Fritter?” “Sure does Braeburn, sure does, now are we gonna get to applebucking or are ya gonna ogle that tree like ya did that one mare your cousin had with 'er, hm?” 'Voices...' the sound brings pain to my ears, but... if someone is here maybe I can... “A-ah don't know wha' ya are talkin' 'bout!” I need to... open my eyes... 'AHHH!' so bright! “Oh you know, the one with the- did ya hear that?” Did... did they hear me? “Yeah, ah think it came from over- Oh sweet Faust!” The voice sounds so loud!... it hurts... “Fritter, git over to the doc's office, ah'll bring her in after ya!” “On it.” I hear the thumping of... hooves... on... hard dirt... traveling away from me... and another coming closer... “Li'l one, can ya hear me?” The voice... my ears hurt when he talks, but... its softer... filled with... care... “Ah'm just gonna ease ya on to muh back now, alrigh'?” I can feel something moving my arms and head over... something warm and covered in short hair... then something is softly pushing my rump up on... I think its a horseback... then there is a short, slow momentum upward... the horse standing up most likely... then forward movement... slow and steady... “Now don't you worry none li'l one, ah'm a get ya to the doc's office, thery'll make ya right as rain again or mah name's ain't Braeburn Apple.” I don't know if its the voice, the soft rocking on the horses back or my... body giving me too much pain... but I think... I'm... losing my...conscious... ~ ~ ~ *beep* *beep* *beep* The sound of the heart-monitor is the only sound in the small room, only occasionally accompanied by the nurses trotting assigned to the young patent. The nurse, a mare by the name First Aid, was currently changing the filly’s IV drip before checking it of on the clipboard held in her stormcloud gray wing. Tucking back a stray lock of her green, two-tone mane behind her ear she trots over to the other side of the bed, noted down the readings the heart-monitor showed. Looking at the unconscious filly in the bed made First Aid heart ache. The filly unicorn, perhaps 8 years old, was unhealthy thin, her pale gray coat held no luster any healthy pony should have, nor did her long, equally pale gray, willow-like mane. The filly, 'Li'l Gray' as doctor Bandage had come to call her, had been in there care ever since Braeburn had brought her in two days ago... and been in a coma the whole time. Li'l Gray was a mystery, not only didn't anypony know who she was (and considering how small Appleloosa was it hadn't taken long to figure that out) but there were no signs of her walking into the orchard, in fact, her hooves showed no marks of natural tear, even the best hooficure would be able to conceal such things. Another mystery was simply the state she was in, she was malnourished to the state where she didn't have any bodyfat, dehydrated close to death and her heart and lungs where up until a day ago barely able to support her (First Aid checked the oxygen tank as well, they were good for another two days and they had sent a order for another one post haste the day before) Yet... apart from that, she was fine, no ticks, no scrapes or wounds, not even any split ends in her tail or any dirt on her (apart from some that she got from being brought to the clinic from the orchard, but that was negligible) it was as if she'd gone from healthy to near death without going through the steps between and then appeared in the orchard from... somewhere. First Aid sighed again, she hated seeing the filly like this and not being able to do more. Moving a lock of the little unicorns lifeless mane out of the way First Aid checked if the muzzle-covering breathing-cup was still secured in place and making sure the air-tube wasn't bent. Satisfied with the inspection First Aid intended to check it of of her clipboard, quickly leave it on Doctor Bandage's desk before just as quickly return to the filly’s side, just in case anything changed during the time she'd was away... all 17 seconds of it. First Aid sighted yet again, 'I've been sighting far too often these past two days' she thought, caringly moving the gray lock behind the filly’s ear before placing her hoof softly on her equally gray cheek. “What happened to you dear?” she asked with a hushed tone, even though not expecting an answer. “Nurse?” Looking towards the door she saw Braeburn Apple, the stallion that had brought the poor filly in. “Oh, hello Braeburn” First Aid answered, pulling her hoof away from the unicorns cheek and turned to face him “how are you?” “Ah'm fine ma'am, was jus' in tha neighborhood an' desided to visit Li'l Gray” Braeburn said before walking up to the bed “how is she?” he asked in a soft tone. Sighing ('there I go again' she thought annoyingly) the storm gray pegasus looked at the clipboard held in her wing “better, but not by much” she told him as she once again read trough the notes “shes no longer in the risk of her heart or lungs from stopping and the IV is giving her much needed fluids, but apart from that theres not much more we can do but hope.” Braeburn simply nodded, not really knowing what to say. First Aid shook her head, feeling inadequate “the thing is that its not natural.” “What ya mean?” “Its how she ended up like this, everything about her values tells us that her body shouldn't have been able to support her long enough to be in this dire state” the pegasus nurse scowled “I know I shouldn't assume or point hoofs at anypony, but nopony, noone with even a ounce of good in them would let this happen without doing something to help!” Braeburn swallowed a lump that had built in his throat “W-wha' are ya sayin'?” First Aid looked Braeburn in the eyes and the sentence that followed chilled him to the core of his soul. “I think somepony did this to her on purpose.” ~ ~ ~ *beep* *beep* *beep* A odd sound in my ears... on the edge of sharp... it sounds in tune with my heart... My body... hurts... a thousand needles across it... thirst burns in my throat... burning sand holds more moisture... my bones ache... midwinter winds surrounds them... This is an improvement. “A-ah, wh-why would anyone do that to a li'l filly!” A voice... male... the one from before? “Like I said Braeburn, I shouldn't assume and I will not point hoofs, but its impossible to reach this level of malnourishment without some outside force involved and this sure as tartarus isn't the benevolent kind.” another voice... female... she does not sound like the one from before... “S-still... are ya saying this here bein' … torture?” It is the same voice... Braeburn, was it?... his speech pattern is the same... “Not even a anorectic supermodel would agree to this kind of... of depravity!” Ano-rec-tic super model?... wonder what that is?... the way she is saying it makes it sound like something that holds a very low position in society... “Do ya have any prof?” I can hear him moving around... nervous?... worried?... “ah mean, anythang that can tell ya-” “-Who did this, no” did anyone of them say her name?... I wonder why she cares so much... “and that makes this so heartbreaking!” heartbreaking?... I... “someone did this to her, on purpose, hurting her beyond what most adult ponies could endure, only to leave her to die and I can't do anything to help her!” I... matter to her?... why... I... have to know... ~ ~ ~ “Wha' ya mean 'can't do anythang'?” Braeburn asked, a bit shocked at nurse First Aid's outburst “ya been by her side this whole time, hay, according to doc Bandage you haven't left the clinic sins Li'l Gray was put in this here bed.” First Aid looked to the side, avoiding the stallions eyes “W-with a patient in this condition there has to be at least one medical pony on watch in case of complications.” “Ya got doc Bandage and his niece Cotton Swab, shes a nurse too” Braeburn said, moving over to look the pegasus in the eye “look, miss Aid, ah get your worried 'bout Li'l Gray, ah'm worried too-” he continued, concern obvious in his voice “-but ya can't help her if ya burn yourself out.” “I know” First Aid sighted, her gaze traveling down before slowly going towards the bed “I just feel like if I step out for a moment something will-” her gaze fell on the filly “-oh my.” The filly's gray eyes were open.