//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Letters with a Side of Interruptions // Story: Letters for Cheerilee // by MephileztheHam //------------------------------// I couldn't believe what I just read, I have to be dreaming. Maybe I read it wrong, I had too! There is no way it could be right, so I read the letter again. “Dear Cheerilee, I do hope that you do not find the contents of this letter repulsive in any way. But let me be blunt, I adore you, Cheerilee. I have watched you from afar for so long with bated breath, fighting against my shy cowardice to approach you and failing every time. So now after much thought I have willed every ounce of my courage to write this letter to tell you that I am simply enamored by your walk, your voice, everything about you simply lulls me into a stupor.” What the hell? A love letter, for me? Okay, okay who sent this? Is it the CMC pulling another one of their pranks on me or something? I mean who would send me of all ponies a love letter? “Really? The CMC's pranks don't range in this field if you don't count that love potion incident. And besides, I doubt those three fillies combined have the vocabulary to have wrote this. Whoever wrote this is good, keep reading!” my conscience did have a point, Scootaloo and her friends couldn't have written this. But a love letter of all things, who do I know fancies me so much as to send a letter? With that thought I continued reading, my curiosity piqued even more now to find out who wrote this. “I know this is an unorthodox way to tell one's feelings but you must understand where I am coming from. To have such strong feelings over somepony, to be intrigued over somepony so much that you want to do everything in your power to tell them how much they mean to you. But as I write this I realize I am going off tangent, I have that problem when I get nervous, sorry! Anyways, I would like to give you a proposition.” A proposition? For some reason I feel a little nervous to find out what this so called proposition is. Well there is only way to find out right? “Would you like to become pen pals? I know it is an odd idea but it would be a great way for us to get to know each other. All I ask is for you to give this forlorn writer a chance, Cheerilee. If the idea entices you and you wish to pursue this path write an acceptance letter and place it within the envelop my letter came with. Then simply take the envelop and deliver it to the park a few blocks south of the town library. Once you find yourself there look for the old oak tree at its center and hide the letter in its uppermost nook.” I knew the place the writer was talking about, a quaint little place called Rosewood park. I used to go there all the time with....him. “Oh no you don't! Don't you dare go on a tangent about that scum, keep reading!” my conscience scolded me like I was a little filly. Ugh he's right, thinking about that bastard would just ruin my day. Besides, my admirer's proposition sounds pretty neat actually. This would be a great way for me to meet somepony new like Bonbon said I should. Well it is a little different from her idea but it still works, all I have to do is put my acceptance letter in the tree. Is that all or is there some sort of secret hoof shake I have to do or something? Let see here.... “If you send only my letter by itself then I will take that as your denial of my idea. However I shall accept your wishes and never send another letter. Forever yours, your secret admirer.” Hmm, well all I have to do is just a write a letter back to get this show on the road. But should I do it? I have no idea who this admirer is and what they look like, not that physical appearances are a big thing for me or anything! I just don't know what to expect, buck it. If I keep going around in circles about this my conscience will just bitch at me to do it anyways. Then again.... “Aw just write back, what could go wrong?” oh he just had to say the jinx didn't he? “What could go wrong? What if this secret admirer is some sort of psycho murder slash rapist and this is how he or she reels in the oblivious victims?” “You do have a point there but this letter is just too well written to feel like a ruse. Whoever did this also went the extra mile for expensive lettering! I say we throw caution to the wind and write back! Who knows we might even gain a special somepony from this!” my conscience said reassuringly and a bit too enthusiastically so. I guess I could just write back and see where this goes. Besides, what else do I have going on that I have to do today anyways? “Absolutely nothing, you were just going to sit on your ass, eat ice cream and stew in your loneliness for a few hours. Write a response, get off your ass and drop it off at the park!” I cringed at my conscience's bluntness, jeez he really didn't hold any punches on that one. Yet once again he had a point, at the very least I could avoid gaining ten pounds off of ice cream this way. Now all I need is for a pen and paper, thankfully everything I needed was on the coffee table in front of me. So with a struggled lean forward I plucked the necessities in writing and just got to it. How should I start this thing? Should I be straightforward with it or be hard to get? All of these questions and more swarmed around in my mind. My admirer is going to read this, what I write here could make or break this. Hell this could get leaked out to all of Ponyville and I would be the laughing stock for a few years. No pressure at all, nope none at all. “Dear Admirer, your letter was quite a surprise and contrary to what you expected of me I am not repulsed. In fact I am actually far from repulsed, I am quite flattered! So after much thinking I would love to get to know the mystery pony behind the letter. Lets be pen pals from here on out! I cannot wait to hear more from you. Sincerely, Cheerilee.” With a final stroke against the paper and a click of the pen I was finished. After looking over my letter a few times I deemed it suitable for release and packaged it in the envelope along with my admirers letter. “All there is to do now is go to the park and send this bad boy along. You can do this girl!” I said aloud to myself. I just realized that I talk to myself a lot, excluding my conscience of course. I guess you could say it was a weird way to reassure myself, a sort of defense mechanism whenever I got into moments like these. I'm weird okay? “Got that right sugar, now get that cute flank out the door and take initiative! Go for the gold, reach for the stars and all that jazz!” said my sassy conscience. I really should head to a psychiatrist to see why my voice of reason is a sassy gay stallion in my head. Bah, delivery first sanity check later. Off I go into the outside world, ugh that means I have to possibly interact with people.... Sometime later..... Twenty minutes, its been twenty minutes that I have been pacing in front of this damn oak tree. The very same one described in the letter, and my letter was safe inside its hidden nook. My reason for pacing and not being back in my warm cozy home? I was waiting for my admirer to appear and twenty minutes have gone by, not a single pony has approached this tree let alone this entire park. I guess it was safe to say that nopony is going to show with me standing here. And here I was expecting a dashing young stallion to appear and sweep me off my feet as I stood waiting. I really need to stop acting like a event like that could happen, as much as I wished it my life isn't a romance story. “Got that right sugar, lets just go home hmm? Crack open that tub of ice cream and read a nice book, what do you say?” I smiled at that idea. For once my conscience wasn't being a total ass and actually gave me some sound advice. Well, back to reading books and getting fat of ice cream again, I am going to regret it later but buck it! The very next day.... “Its almost six pm and I haven't gotten a letter back from him....maybe he forgot? What if....no, this was just a prank and I'm getting worked up over nothing. That's it, just a prank and I fell for it hook line and sinker....nothing to worry about. No this can't be a prank, Ditzy is just a little late with her deliveries today. It wouldn't be the first time she faltered on her deliveries, yeah that's what happened” I muttered to myself as I paced around my living room. I tried my best to reassure myself but with every step I took I became more and more disheartened at the thought I was just being played the fool. Sure it was just a letter, but the idea of somepony liking me, just the chance to be rid of loneliness gave me a small piece of hope to hold onto. But then again maybe this truly was just another prank and I was just being too naïve to realize it. “Buck my life” I groaned, slumping myself onto the nearest couch face first. I am destined to be alone, just me, my sassy conscience and this cozy couch to be my only love in life. At least the couch is cozy and never talks back to me unlike a certain voice in my head. But before I could wallow in my self pity I was interrupted from my gloom and doom. A sound like thunder rocked my home, the sound of something crashing assaulted my ear drums. Tearing myself from my couch I quickly assessed my surroundings only to find something that was both a relief and bummer. There sitting on top of my now busted down door was nopony else but Ditzy Hooves, and here I expected a blood thirsty manticore in her stead. “M-Mail call! If anypony is home I'm sorry I'm late! And sorry for busting down your door!” Ditzy yelled as she scrambled to her hooves. But before I could utter a greeting she caught sight of me and smiled a goofy smile. “Hi Cheerilee, sorry about your door eheh....” “Sweet Celestia are you alright, Ditzy? My gosh the door! Even the wall!” I exclaimed as I darted off the couch to the mail mare. The goofy smile on Ditzy's face instantly fell as she bowed her head in shame, kicking her hoofs at the bits and pieces of rubble on the carpet. “Sorry Cheerilee....I just don't know what went wrong....” oh bucking damnit, now I feel bad! I hate it when somepony does the puppy dog eyes. And its worse when somepony like Ditzy does it, how can you be mad at a face like that? “Its....its alright, Ditzy. Just a little accident, nothing to worry about. But if you'll excuse my language, just what the hell happened, Ditzy?” I asked the wall eyed mare, whom was picking pieces of rubble out of her mane. “Yeah, I was just finishing up my rounds last minute cause I had to take my daughter to a slumber party and forgot I had rounds to do today. And since you were my last stop I sped up and kinda sorta lost control when I tried to slow down....sorry” I facehooved, yeah that sounds like something Ditzy would do. “Well at least you're not hurt, cause the door really isn't that important anyways. So erm, how is Dinky?” I sighed as I tried to change the subject away from the accident. No need to dwell on what went wrong you know, it wouldn't solve anything. However I still couldn't look away from my now decimated entryway. I could probably put the door back on its hinges but the cracks in the wall will need some filling in plus painted over with a couple coats to hide said cracks. “Oh, my little muffin is doing fine! She is having a sleepover with a friend of hers, Button Mash if I remember right? Anyways, speaking of my little girl how has she been doing in school?” and out comes the question any teacher dreads to hear. Usually I get that question from parents of dimwitted children. They already knew the answer but I think they just want to hear the words softened by a teacher or some malarkey. But in this case it is quite the opposite, Dinky is a bright little filly with a lot of potential in my opinion. “I just love that little filly, she is the very model of the perfect student. Always pays attention in class, always has the right answers and passes every single test! I wish I had an entire classroom of students like your daughter, it would definitely make my work a lot easier!” I said with a chuckle. Ditzy joined along in my laughter. But suddenly she stopped, her face stricken with a look like she'd seen a ghost. “Oh my gosh, I almost forgot! I came here to give you a letter, here take it!” Ditzy stammered as she thrust a purple envelope right into my muzzle. Before I could even say a word she turned tail and bolted out the door yelling at the top of her lungs, “Gotta go, deliveries to make and all that, bye Cheerilee!” I looked to the dust cloud that trailed out of my living room and out to the world outside as Ditzy took off. Great, dust to sweep, a door to fix and bucking cracks in my walls. For once can I get a normal day without interruptions or housing damage? I have been having a lot of interruptions lately, feels like the universe is picking only on me lately. “Because it wouldn't be as interesting without the interruptions, honey. Now quit your whining and put that door back on its hinges, its getting drafty in here!” my conscience bellowed its order like a drill sergeant in my mind. “You can't even feel a draft, you're a bucking voice in my head!” I scoffed as I got up and lifted my heavy as hell door on its side. “I am not just a voice! I am your fabulous conscience and you should show some respect!” I rolled my eyes at the flamboyant voice trying his best to be imposing. His falsetto tone wasn't helping either. “Hey you're the one occupying my mind! You know what? Just shut the buck up while I put this bucking door back on its hinges, please?” I yelled back mentally at my conscience. Thankfully he didn't respond. The next few moments were spent lifting my heavy as hell door back onto its hinges and relishing the calm silence devoid of my flamboyant heckler. Only the sound of my occasional grunt and the clanking sound of the hinges being put back into place. With a strained sigh and a stretch of my sore limbs I admired my handiwork. My front door was back to its original position, all that was left were the unsightly cracks on the wall surrounding it. Now that is going to cost a few bits to fix, there goes a piece of my paycheck I was planning to spend on luxuries. Damn it Ditzy! “Speaking of that wall eyed catastrophe of a pony, you should check that letter out. Could be from you know who!” piped in that high pitched voice I knew all too well. With another roll of my eyes I adhered to his almighty flamboyancy and tore open the purple tinged letter. “Lets see....Dear, ahah! Its him again! Yes, yes yes!” I squealed as I bounded all over my living room with glee. Its from him! He wrote back! This wasn't a prank after all! “My my, aren't we being quite the excited little school girl? Its like this guy was your first crush, and you haven't even read it! It could be a sign of resignation for all we know or something!” again I scoffed at my conscience. Isn't he supposed to be the optimistic one anyway? Bucking hypocrite, anyways back to the letter. Oh my gosh I am so excited! “Dear Cheerilee, I am ecstatic, simply overjoyed to hear that you have agreed to become pen pals with me! I am honored that you have given me a chance to tell you about me, to earn your affections with the passing of letters. But enough about my joy, it is your turn now. Ask me anything you would like to know of me. And to make it interesting you may only ask me three things. I shall do the same with my response and so forth, a form of letter ping pong if you will.” Now that sounds interesting, ask three things in a letter and he will do the same? What a delightful idea! This makes this a little more interesting instead of just sending essay after essay on paper to one another. Keep it short and sweet but still leaving each other on a hook, this should be fun! With a small smile I went back to reading. “Oh and before I forget, deliver your letter to the very same spot as before! I will send a response as fast as I can the following day if everything goes as planned. I look forward to hearing from you soon, my dear Cheerilee. Sincerely, your secret admirer.” With a whimsical sigh I folded the letter back into its envelope and pondered for a moment. What should I ask him? Where he lives? No too straightforward, favorite food? Too lame, previous romances? Too intrusive, buck me I am at a loss here! “Jeez do you know how painful it is to listen to you worry over something so simple? Just ask him what he likes and stuff like that, don't be too broad with it! Oh and ask him why he chose to write letters instead of straight up asking you out! Wing it!” my conscience said with a sigh. Reluctantly I had to admit that I wouldn't have thought of that. What? I have never done this before okay? “So just ask him what he likes and all that stuff? Just write it down Cheerilee, its simple!” I muttered to myself as I sat down on the couch with a slip of paper. “You're talking to yourself again, honey. You're starting to freak me out here!” said my conscience with a worried tone. “What do you mean I freak you out? I am the one talking to a gay voice in my head that gives me guidance, I should be the one freaking out here!” I grunted, rubbing my temples at the minor throbbing that was beginning to appear. A bucking headache, great. “Honey I am your words of wisdom, your guidance in this land of darkness. I am your fairy gay mother and you should be happy I am even trying to deal with you!” the voice yelled with a high pitched fervor. Sweet Celestia I have gone mad, all those nights eating ice cream and being a loner home alone have finally gotten to my head. “I have always been here, your recent terrible choices in life forced me out of my comfortable home deep in your psyche. I couldn't sit back and watch you fumble in your pit of loneliness, and another thing you shou-” “Enough, can you be bucking quiet and let me write?! For Celestia's sake shut up! Leave me alone for a damn moment!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, not caring if a passerby outside heard my words. With a heavy breath I exhaled all of my pent up anger in one frustrated huff and waited for my conscience to yell back. But he didn't, not even a sassy sentence was uttered in the recesses of my mind. Finally, some peace and quiet! “Now to begin writing without a flamboyant voice bickering at me” I grumbled under my breath as I began to write, scraping against the paper in short swift strokes of my pen word by word. After scribbling away for what felt like an hour I looked over my piece of work, jeez my handwriting needs some work. “Dear my secret admirer, I am much intrigued by your idea of trading questions between us. An interesting twist to what would be somewhat repetitious letters. But before I ramble on I guess I should write my first question shouldn't I? My first question is simple, what drove you to write to me instead of asking me out if I may ask? Don't take it the wrong way my illusive admirer, I simply am curious as to why you chose this method of approach.” Okay, so far so good. Not too formal and not too loose in form so far..... “One down two to go, you have no idea how nervous I am right now when I am writing this! I just have never been in this situation, curse you for limiting me to only three questions! I have so much to ask you! Anyways, for my second question I would like to know what kind of pony you are. Are you a unicorn, pegasus or a earth pony?” I probably should have stated that one with a bit more flare, oh well at least this question can narrow down who my suitor is somewhat. and I can't erase pen, plus I don't want to waste paper writing this over again anyways. “Now for my last question, compared to the first two this one might feel a little bit serious so I apologize in advance. What is it about me that attracted you to me? Is it my hair, possibly my figure? I am just dying to know what is it about me that interests you so. Well that is that for now, I shall leave you with these questions to answer, my dear admirer. So with that said I bid you adieu, sincerely, Cheerilee.” Phew, now this actually looks well done, save for my sketchy handwriting of course. Now all I have to do is head back to the park and pop this bad boy in the tree and wait for a response. Looking up from my letter I checked the clock on the wall for the time and found it was only fifteen minutes to ten pm. If my clock was too be trusted then I that means I spent four hours writing this thing? Jeez I need to get back into the groove of writing again! Now I just have to deliver this thing before it gets any later, and I definitely don't want to be out when it hits midnight. And why is it a bad idea to be out around that time you ask? Well to put it short it is the time when party goers usually get out and about around that time. I learned from experience that being outside in the streets bumping into drunken idiots is not fun at all. Last time I went out around this time I got drunk with Lyra and I don't want a repeat of that incident that night. I had rumors swarming around me for nearly a month, nearly lost my job. So I better get make a trip to the park and I better do it fast. “Or you could wait until tomorrow to send it, just to be safe. Even though you are a prick sometimes I wouldn't want you to get hurt” muttered that oh so familiar voice again in my head. And why does he sound off? He usually sounds energetic and yelly. “Because you hurt my feelings, sugar. And just because I was trying to help you sort things out you burst out at me! I am your voice of reason and you push me away, but not this time. I really think you should wait till tomorrow to send that thing in, just in case you know?” my conscience said worriedly. I let out a frustrated sigh, mulling over my conscience's words for a moment. But I couldn't find a way to belittle him again and I was being a jackass a while back. “Look, I'm sorry voice in my head! All this pent up shit is making me all frustrated lets just....okay how about a truce?” I spoke aloud, not willing to just say this in my head. If I was going to have a conversation with a voice in my head I may as well say it out loud. Buck anyone who hears me anyway. “Hmm, deal. But honestly we have to consider taking that letter tomorrow, wouldn't want a repeat of last time right? Remember that little mishap and how it nearly ruined your dumb ass? ” my conscience stated bluntly and without remorse might I add. But again as usual my conscience, unsurprisingly held a good point once more. Sure I could have listened to him, but right now I just want to send this thing in as soon as possible. “Yeah but I won't be partying, just a brisk trot through town and that will be it I swear. Cross my heart, hope to fly and all that junk” I said with a cross of my hoof over my chest. My conscience said nothing so I took his silence as acceptance. So with our squabbles behind us and letter in hoof I got up to leave. But lo and behold right before I even put a hoof on my door somepony came a knocking. Another interruption, again. “Who is it?” I said aloud to the being on the other side. I really hope it was a salesman or something, then I could just tell him or her to kindly buck off to hell. Here's hoping right? “Yo open up girl! Its me Lyra!” oh great, please don't be here to take me on a girls not out! With that hope in my heart I opened the door to find my mint green mare with Bonbon at her side. “Hey girls, what brings you to my humble abode?” I greeted the two with a smile. The two mares returned my smile with grins of their own and said in unison “Its time to partay!” Oh sweet Celestia no, please for the love of all that is holy no! Not tonight! “Girls, look I have somewhere to be right now and I really don't want to-” “Nonsense! Where do you have to go that is so important to resist hanging out with your best friends?” Lyra questioned me as she bumped a hoof against my muzzle. Ugh I hate it when ponies do that, personal space please! “Yeah Cheerilee, and besides we just want to take you out for some fun. You don't even have to drink this time, no alcohol at all! Just us treating you to a girls night out, come on!” Bonbon urged with a nudge of her own. Ugh how do I tell em to leave me alone, I can't just tell them I am delivering a letter to a secret admirer. They will never leave me alone if I do! “Just play along and go with them to a bar for a little while. Wait until those two get piss drunk, slip out behind their backs to send the letter and rejoin them before their none the wiser!” my conscience cackled evilly as he spoke. Now that isn't creepy or anything but I liked his idea. Sure I was going to ditch my friends but I would be right back and besides, if these two party like they used to then they be drunk off their asses! They wouldn't even notice I was gone. “You know what? I will come along after all, I mean what else do I have going on right now? A tub of ice cream full of regret? Heck no, I'll tag along with my best gals instead!” I mock cheered as I hugged the mares. “Yeah! I told ya she would come with us! Time to party like there's no tomorrow!” Lyra cheered as she broke from the hug and marched off like a soldier to war. Bonbon and I laughed at the mint green mare's antics and followed close behind mimicking her march in time. If anypony would see us they would probably label us as the town fools, but that is just how we roll. Just a bunch of friends being goofy without a care in the world, well all except for me anyways. “Now we wait till they get drunk and slip out like it was nothing. This should be a piece of cake!” my conscience said with a air of mischievous intent. He was right, this couldn't be any easier! “Oh yes, all I have to do is wait for the alcohol to kick in and bam! We are home free!” I thought with a smirk. I can have some fun when I get that delivery done too, all I have to do is avoid getting drunk and not arouse suspicion from my friends. Just get them drunk, distract them with something pointless and get that letter sent. Sure I didn't like sneaking behind their backs but this was better then telling them about my admirer. I didn't want to tell them about him, not yet anyways. I just feel insecure about it, and we are just pen pals. It's hardly something to have Lyra and Bonbon gush over, I haven't even met the guy yet! All I have to do is survive the night and follow the plan, what can go wrong?