The Unlikeliest of Heroes

by TheFullCrumb


7 - We Hapless Few

Ponies throughout Canterlot watched as a hulking figure marched through the main square of town, his cloak flowing in the chilling breeze. His scarred visage was grinning, a cigar pointing to one side. He chuckled, a distinctive 'hurr' escaping his lips as he walked through.

“I thought this world was populated by warriors, not the innocent.” He turned to one of the griffons that flanked him. She shrugged, staring down.

“Our emperor may have... embellished that fact.” The griffon glanced down at the ground, a look of shame passing across his countenance. It seemed the griffon 'emperor' had been too quick to become so powerful. Creed rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his right hand. He would have to remember that for the land of ponies that had appeared before him.

“We'd best find ourselves a base of operations. No tactics without a place to plan, right?” The griffon to his left, a rugged-built male, sneezed. A momentary chill filled the air, flowing quickly around Creed and his two griffon guards.

“What's with this weather? It's like its following us!” Creed stared up at the clouds. Something flashed around. He shrugged. It seemed like it was nothing, so he would treat it as such. As he approached the front gates of the palace the griffons had led him to, the guards crossed their spears momentarily, before looking around in confusion.

“Wasn't there a giant minotaur with you a few seconds ago?” Beyond them, just out of sight, a hand stretched out, a thumb pointing upwards. Creed had given his approval. He leaned out to watch the two griffons seemingly disappear, only to feel a tap on his back.

“Tactical genius, hurr. We need to get inside.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mewtwo struggled to read the man he had detected. Raimi was watching, his form unmoving. Jason stood there, staring at him in wonder.

“Hey, Minsc? How can you tell if someone's dead? No breathing, right?” Minsc was seated by a large round table, vegetables and cheeses of all varieties laid before him. He was munching away, muttering something through the food that caused Jason to groan. “A lot of help you are.” Mewtwo's hand raised, pointing in a moving direction. His voice came out strained as he continued to follow.

“My power... is not as great as I assumed... follow him. He seeks the princesses. He has two... strange creatures I do not fully understand following closely. Be careful.” Mewtwo opened his eyes to Jason in a full, jet-black suit with wire trimmings, a small, arcing weapon in his hand. “Do not... kill him.” Jason held up the small handgun, a taser-like apparatus attached to the front.

“Compliance Regulator. Non-lethal... unless I, you know, zap him a few times?” Anger crossed Mewtwo's face. “I was kidding! No damage, just freezes up the body!” Mewtwo seemed to relax, returning to the reading of the second human that was incoming, quickly. Alarmingly quickly. “Buzz-kill.” Jason left the three others of their little group alone to locate the new human. His suit began to talk to him.

“Hello again. Stealth suit is now online.”

“Good. Now shut up.”

“Volume mut-” Jason sighed. Sometimes he hated the suit, but it had been the best way for him to get past all the roboscorpions. Without it, he could not have survived as long as he had. He glanced at his wrist. The Pip-Boy screen was dark, just the way he needed it to be. He clambered up an outside wall, further ahead from the point that Mewtwo had given him. Seating himself, he watched the ground, looking for the human. A ring of cold steel pressed into the unprotected back of his head.

“Stand up, right now.” Jason stood, slowly. He made sure that his weapon had disappeared before he did so. “Turn around and face me.” He turned to face the grinning mug of what seemed to be some sort of soldier. “Thought you could get the drop on me, huh?” He tapped the side of his head with his free hand. “Tactical genius. Never let your enemy gain the upper hand.” Two griffons stood behind him, mirroring his impish grin.

“So, what, you're just going to shoot me?” In response, the man put his weapon away. His hand shot forward, hovering between them.

“It is good to see another human on this world, not just myself. I am the Lord Castellan of Cadia.” Jason stared at him in confusion.

“You say that like I'm supposed to know what it means. What the fuck is a Lord Castellan, and what the fuck's a Cadia?” The man shook his head.

“Rank and homeworld. My name is Ursarkar E. Creed, although it would be more favourable to just simply call me Creed.” Jason grasped the man's hand firmly, a light shake.

“Jason Fawkes, The Courier of the Mojave Wasteland... at least, the only one that mattered, anyways.” He looked down at the ground. “So, I'm guessing you want to meet the rest of the team, right?” It was Creed's turn to have a look of utter confusion. He did not understand. There were more humans on this world of ponies? It seemed too good to be true.

“Show me.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mewtwo was lying down, two ponies wearing lab coats standing over his still form. He was breathing in short, shallow breaths, a heart monitor beside him beeping, ponies bustling to and fro. His heart rate would rise in short bursts, then settle down. Minsc stood over him, frowning. Leonidas was seated in the far corner, sharpening his spear for combat, while Raimi stood watch at the window. Creed and Jason, concern on their eyes as they entered. Before they arrived at Mewtwo's bedside, Creed already had his hellpistol out, aimed directly at the psychic's head.

“Stand back. Xeno scum are not to be trusted, nor trifled with. They pretend to be on your side, and then, they strike.” With a flash, Mewtwo's eyes were wide open, flowing with psychic power. Creed's hand was forced open, the pistol clattering to the ground.

“You believe in your Emperor, Ursarkar E. Creed?” Creed was floating above the ground. He could feel unseen hands approaching his throat. His frown grew even darker.

“More than you will ever know, xeno.”

“Would you like me to send you to him... in a casket?” Mewtwo's hand was up, tightening slowly. Creed was struggling, breathing irregularly. Jason put his hand on Mewtwo's shoulder.

That's enough! Mewtwo, like it or not, we need him. Alive, if at all possible... damaged, if you want.” Raimi had turned around, his weapon out and aimed at Creed. His face was drawn in a scowl, the anger of so much pain targeted at Creed. Minsc stood between them, smiling.

“Do we kill that which we do not know? Boo is the one you should fear!” For everyone, once more, to see, he held out his hamster, Creed staring in utter confusion. Mewtwo dropped Creed in shock, before laughter erupted from the non-existent mouth of the Pokemon.

“That is very funny, Minsc! Really! 'Boo is the one you must fear!'” Jason and Raimi caught the humour of what was said, themselves falling over in their mirth. Creed disregarded his hellpistol for the simple reason of utter and complete confusion.

“A... hamster? Really?” Minsc shoved Boo into Creed's face, causing the Lord Castellan to move backwards quickly.

“A giant, pygmy, space hamster! Boo is very, very good! There is no better!” He leaned close to Creed, sniffing. “You smell like wet laundry.” Those present in the room once again began to laugh, much to the chagrin of Creed.

“We should focus on the task at hand, mainly, why were we brought here?” Jason stared at his feet, his shoes suddenly becoming much more interesting. Mewtwo simply floated in place, staring at Creed. Raimi was cleaning his weapon, each barrel gaining tender loving care. Leonidas was laughing at stories that Minsc was telling of his adventures in Baldur's Gate. Mewtwo was the first to break the metaphorical silence, revealing the elephant in the room.

“None of us actually have any idea of why we are here, Creed of Cadia. We suspect that the princesses of the land will give us our answers soon enough-” An explosion rocked the palace, sending Raimi and Jason into immediate combat readiness, while Leonidas lifted his shield, staring out the window.

“The fires of Hades himself spread through the settlement of these creatures!” Minsc cursed under his breath, hefting his blade. Raimi frowned, staring out the window. Jason's body flashed, his armour appearing in a mere moment, a monstrous chain-blade weapon gripped tightly in his hands.

“Let's go kick their shit in, right?” All six nodded, following Creed to the fires.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The flames were rising higher as something kept up its attacks, laughing as it did so. Sometimes it would stop to talk to a rabbit that appeared to be following closely behind it, but then continue to burn and kill wantonly as it pleased. Creed was the first on the scene, the horror of the destruction barely fazing him. The creature turned to throw fire at him, its hands becoming alight with an audible 'fwoosh.' Creed was no longer there, instead standing directly behind the creature with both of his Hellpistols drawn.

“I suggest you leave now before you meet your end here.” The strange being, white-faced in a black cloak with cloth covering part of its face, began to laugh, falling over.

“My 'end?' I can't really die here, you see. It would be too boring!” Creed was, once more, no longer where he had been standing before. The creature looked up to see Creed jumping from rooftop to rooftop, in an attempt to get away. The creature smiled. “Please stay right where you are. Running makes you less tender.” Creed merely continued the smug look on his face, disappearing from sight once more. The creature dropped down into an alleyway, pitch black to the eye. “Where are you? Come on, I won't eat all of you! I'll save some of you for later!” Without warning, something revved up, contacting its neck. A saw shredded its neck, severing the head.

“Gotcha! Good plan, Creed! Minsc and Raimi should be coordinating the effort to combat the fires!” With an augmented kick, Jason sent the body of the humanoid creature flying away. Picking up the head, he was decently surprised to witness that the head was still alive.

“Well, at least it's not Kethenecia all over again.” Jason groaned, holding the head in front of him. It refused to be quiet, and began grating on Jason's nerves.

“You're not going to be quiet, are you? Don't make me put you in my pocket.” Jason held up his Pip-Boy, pressing a few buttons.

“Your pocket, why would I be- oh.” A small portal opened up, beginning to suck the head in. “I really need to think twice before I do stuff.” The head disappeared, showing up on the Pip-Boy as 'Richard the Warlock's Head.'

“Huh.” Lifting a radio, Jason contacted Creed. “Apparently, this fucker's name is Richard the Warlock- hold on a sec. His body is still moving. Yeah, I decapitated him. That wouldn't be fucking possible unless he's a fucking zombie- oh, fuck this shit!” The body of the warlock stood up, attempting to feel its way around. Jason retrieved the head, pointing at Richard's body. “What the fuck is going on?!”

“Maybe we started off on the wrong meal? No, that's wrong... I'm Richard.” The body's hands were alight with fire once more, albeit facing the wrong way, and wandering off. “Chief Warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of the Thirteen Hells, Master of the Bones, Emperor of the Black, Lord of the Undead, Lord of the Dance, Mistress of Magma, Mayor of a small village up the coast -”

“Seriously? Dude, shorten the fucking titles. That's a fucking mouthful, even for me.” Richard seemed to visibly.

“Rejoice, for very bad things are about to happen.” With that, Richard's head flew out of Jason's hand, reattaching to his body. However, instead of immediately attacking, he walked up to Jason and knocking on his helmet. Turning around, he faced the now smouldering city of Canterlot, joy in his voice.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Richard flipped around, his hands clasped as he spoke.

“I. Like. To. Kill. Things. How is this not clear by now?” With a quick flash, Richard disappeared, Jason scratching his head before lifting his radio.

“Uh, Creed? We have a problem, mainly being a happily psychotic warlock who is still at large. Oh, and he's a fucking regenerating zombie.” Tapping quickly on his weapons list, the Monster Ripper disappeared, replaced by Jason's favourite plasma rifle, the Q-35 Matter Modulator. With a whir and zap, the rifle charged, ready to fire. “I'll start a sweep from my position in the west part of the city. You start from the east. I recommend Leonidas and Mewtwo begin sweeping from the north and-” Mewtwo interrupted him while he attempted to finish his thought.

“I am sorry to interrupt, but I cannot detect the warlock within Canterlot anymore. He appears to have left. We should redouble our efforts to combat the flames.” Jason nodded, a flash indicating the return of the plasma rifle to his inventory. Creed sounded his agreement, moving to the worst of the fires from his position in the east. Minsc, having been given a radio by Jason, and shown its function, laughed in his acknowledgement.

“When we next meet this Warlock, I shall put him to the bootheels of justice!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The better part of a week was spent suppressing the fires. It was made worse by the fire igniting some kind of primitive powder, detonating it and spreading a blaze to a large portion of the city. Creed had been first on the seen, tossing water onto the blaze. Minsc had joined him quickly after dealing with looters who had made the unfortunate mistake of threatening the ranger, with Boo quickly scaring them off as well. Leonidas was guarding innocents as they evacuated into the palace, where guards waited with blankets and disaster supplies. Jason stood with Mewtwo and Raimi inside with Celestia and Luna. Jason was visibly livid, his anger clear.

“Shit! You could have lost your city, and that fucking warlock is still out there! A happily psychotic, murdering warlock! We should be out there, hunting him down! He's a fucking threat to us!” Creed sat in a large chair, not speaking. His cigar burned brightly in his mouth, the third one in two hours. Mewtwo stared down Jason in an attempt to stall his hostilities.

“Jason, you're better than this. Don't let anger or hatred consume you.” Everyone turned to look at Creed, who was now standing. Dropping the end of his cigar, he crushed it underneath his heel, his face as still as stone.

“Creed? What the fuck do you-”

“Have I told you about Chaos, the Ruinous Powers?” Jason quieted down. It presented itself as something he wanted to take note of.

“No, actually. What are the Ruinous powers?” Creed pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

“Chaos was born out of the collective psychic natures of every being in the universe who has potential for psionic abilities. In the Immaterium, it was once simply a smooth sea over which you could warp-jump and have no problems. Then the lesser races, like humans, came along, and it became awash with Chaos, giving birth to the entities known as the Ruinous Powers. Those who serve them are no longer alive, in a sense, and end up.... like a Chaos Marine, or a Traitor Guard regiment.” Creed looked around, shrugging. “Eldar history injected with some of the Imperium's history.” Jason sat down, staring forwards.

“So, can we resist their power?” Creed nodded. He lifted a small Imperial Aquila mark from his pocket, laying it on the table.

“The Imperium has its undying devotion to the God-Emperor of Mankind as protection. I do not doubt the Emperor is screaming inside his chair – most cannot even stand in front of the Golden Throne anymore. Most simply are burned to a crisp... at least, that's the official story. No one really knows at all.” Creed took his seat once more, staring forward at the floor. Something was uncertain in the air, and Jason could read it well. There was something Creed was not telling them. Mewtwo seemed to sense it, if he ever showed any emotion besides narrowing his eyes.

“So, Creed...” Jason laid his hand on Creed's shoulder, bringing his attention to him. “What exactly are you not telling us?” Creed's hand tightened into a fist, his ever-present smug grin quickly disappearing. Jason backed away, for once unsure of what would happen.

“I've felt... something following me. It is cold, unnerving, and the true nature, in my honest opinion, is one of the Ruinous Powers. Chaos is preparing for an invasion, no doubt. And I have- wait...” Creed stood, his cigar falling from his mouth. Pieces fell into place, his mind latching onto the conclusion he had reached. Pointing at Celestia, he smiled once more in his usual way. “Can your summoning, well, can it be used for specific requests?” Jason smiled at Creed's thinking. He knew where Creed might go with his idea.

“Unfortunately, unless we know exactly what we are summoning, we cannot actually summon them. We summoned the best of what we knew.” Celestia looked at Creed. “The greatest general there was.” Turning, she focused on Jason. “A mercenary of extraordinary talents.” Minsc could see she was describing them, and stood at attention, a grand smile crossing his face. “A ranger of impeccable ability.” Mewtwo stopped her before she continued.

“I know the next three. Do not forget, I can read your mind, Princess Celestia, no matter how many mental blocks you create.” Celestia visibly flinched, shrinking back from Mewtwo. Raimi held his hand up to stop Mewtwo.

I know, Mewtwo. I can see it on her face. Being unable to speak makes reading body language a great skill.” Raimi sat down on a nearby stool, staring out the window. His thoughts were on those who had lost their homes, how they would be compensated for the loss they suffered. They were the hapless few that should have died, that should have never come to the land they had found themselves in. He shook his head. There was no point in dwelling on that any more. He needed to focus, they needed to focus on the problem at hand. A villain had shown his cards, and another had yet to play.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Inquisitor Furio!” A battle raged around the red-armoured force that pushed its way through the horrific forces of Chaos, their weapons cutting through exposed flesh with ease. The whirring of servos punctuated the report of bolters, the sheer tenacity of the force bringing soldier after soldier down.

“Get down, you fools!” A large purple blast slammed into the Inquisitor's bunker, an enemy plasma emplacement opening up on them. With a growl of anger, Furio stood up, a sniper rifle in his hands. With a couple of well-placed shots, the gunners were down, but that offered merely a momentary reprieve.

“Inquisitor Furio! Our request for assistance is unheeded! The Imperium has abandoned Janus!” Furio swore under his breath. Varik was going to have his head if he survived, if any of them survived. Someone approached from a tunnel underneath the bunker. If Furio had not been wanting the abilities of that individual, he would have shot them.

“You have need of my skills, Inquisitor?” An Imperium Battle Psyker, a powerful psionic trained specifically for offense, stood in front of him, his demented face smirking as he witnessed the force's last stand.

“Yes, I do, psyker. Please, assist us. We cannot abandon Janus, as the Imperium has abandoned us.” The psyker nodded, the energies of the Warp surrounding him as a shield to protect him as he exited the structure, his mind set, his task at hand. Furio waved his soldiers down, making certain they fell to their knees.

“Witness!” A large amount of energy was building up, the ground crackling. Most who were holding weapons dropped them, jumping into the holes that led to the underground catacombs. The forces of Chaos had turned their attention to the psyker, who seemed very angry. “Your!” The energy continued to build, swirling around the psyker in a powerful blue vortex, white energy intermingling as well. Chaos soldiers had begun to take cover, the realization hitting them like an Exterminatus warhead. Many had simply dropped their weapons, fleeing in fear. “Doom!” The psyker released the energy of the Warp, a powerful wave of psionic energy unleashed against the routed forces of Chaos. Marines were burned, Traitor Guardsmen fell to pieces, and Daemons were completely eradicated. The psyker returned to the bunker, looking down the tunnel. A voice drifted up to him, his smile shifting to one of a smug nature.

“Is it all right to come out?” The psyker laughed, clambering into the hole.

“Inquisitor-” The psyker's voice trailed off as he witnessed the Inquisitor. The eight-point star of Chaos was upon the armour of some of the Guardsmen in the tunnel, the Inquisitor's black hair long against his head.

“Traitors. How could I not have seen it? You betrayed your friends, your family!” The Guardsmen laughed, their arms twisting and mutating before the eyes of the psyker and Furio. Before Furio could react, a lashing of Warp energy slashed apart the traitors, rendering them into pieces. Furio turned to the psyker, who merely shrugged. “Squad, how many of you remain?” The squad with him stumbled out into the light. One carried the tank and tool necessary of a heavy flamer, promethium still alight in the main barrel of the weapon.

“Sergeant Cassius. My squad was wiped out.” He saluted, moving back to allow a clanking, armoured soldier forward, a large plasma cannon in his hands. As he spoke, his voice was synthesized, a large helmet on his head in the guise of the Grim Reaper.

“Sergeant Martus, Furio, callsign Reaper. All that remained of my squad are those traitors that lie on the ground in pieces.” His body whirred as mechanical components ground and shifted, the only possible way for a simple Guardsman to handle such a weapon. Two more crawled out of the darkness, standing at attention. Both wore long coats, helmets with visors obscuring their faces. Modified plasma rifles stood at the ready in their hands, advanced cooling systems removing much of the hazard of their use. The Ignus twins operated as one, leading some to believe. Neither of them spoke, merely nodding or clicking their radios twice in agreement. Furio frowned.

“There's not enough of our forces left for an effective counter-attack. We're outnumbered, outgunned, and short on supplies. What do we have left?” The psyker stumbled forward, the pain of his previous attack evident on his face.

“You have my abilities. Since we have been removed from the eye of the Emperor, I would assume you need to know my title, Inquisitor?” Furio shrugged, following Cassius as the group began to move through the tunnels, the man with the flamer taking point due to his close quarters combat proficiency.

“It couldn't hurt. I mean, to know the name of a psyker, without them threatening to slaughter me if I ever mention it to any others? That, in of itself, is a completely new opportunity.” The psyker stared at the ground, as if to signify that it was something that normally he would kill to protect.

“I am Janus, of my cabal of psykers. We were sanctified to protect this planet from the perils of the warp, although we failed.” Furio placed his hand on the psyker's shoulder, prompting Janus to shy away from the contact. Before he even spoke, a great, multi-hued portal appeared, something Furio had never expected. While the Imperium had abandoned them, the portal before them did not appear to be malevolent.

“Janus, do you sense Chaos in this portal?” The psyker shook his head, approaching it. His hand hovered over, as if scanning it with his mind.

“I sense... compassion, freedom, elements that humanity no longer has. That we now have.” Screams from outside the tunnels, coupled with the echoing laughter of Chaos Marines, startled them all into action.

“Everyone, through the portal! We may not be able to defeat them all if we stay! Whatever is beyond this portal, let it be better than this!” With that, the small group charge through the portal, Furio firing at the charging Chaos Marines. “To hell with this!” He turned, jumping through the portal, the hole in space and time closing behind him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Furio looked around, the room he was in pitch-black. A steady hum accompanied a grating sound like metal, incredibly similar to the low hum of an Imperial Navy transport. Flashlights flickered on, shining around.

“Squad, sound off!” The others in the squad shone their flashlights around, their faces etched with confusion.

“Cassius, here!”

“Martus, here!”

“Janus, more or less!” The Ignus twins merely blinked their flashlights in agreement. Furio was about to sound off when the lights inside the room flickered on, revealing what appeared to be a massive cryogenics chamber. A window on the side looked out into space, towards a planet.

“Squad! We're no longer on our world anymore! We're... somewhere else entirely.” Guardsmen in black armour and clothing began to file into the room, their lasguns aimed at the squad. Furio, sensing a situation, carefully set down his rifle.

“Quite true, Inquisitor. You are aboard an Order of the Black Hand vessel, the Crimson Guardian. We are here tracking the signal of Ursarkar E. Creed, the Warp having sent us back in time, if that is even possible-” The squad in front of the soldier that spoke shouted in unison, something that he could never have foreseen.

“Creed?!”