Chapter 3:
Marik and Bakura were following the mane six back to the town they called ‘Ponyville’, going into Twilight’s library. Marik had wanted to laugh at every pony pun he heard. That was, until Bakura leered at him with the words “Don’t bloody screw this up” written all over his face.
Bakura was thinking back to Pinkie Pie. She had known our bloody show, yet the rest of these ‘mares’ didn’t know either. I doubt they’ve invented the Internet yet, so how the bloody hell did she know?
But eventually Bakura shrugged it. Uh, why do I bloody care, after all nothing in our realm made sense either. Though, did she say she something about a party?
Bakura remembered the 3rd Anniversary Spectacularmathon three to four years ago upon thinking of parties. As he would say how it was- it was a (literal) blast. Bakura had told himself he would never go to another party after paying medical bills.
“Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but the pink one, did she-” Bakura asked Twilight as she opened her door.
“SURPRISE!” yelled a group of mares, including Pinkie. There was a banner saying “YGO Abridged Fan Club” behind them.
Oh no, Bakura thought, My worst nightmare, fangirls.
MEANWHILE
IN THE MIND OF MARIK
ALSO KNOWN AS A TOOLSHED FOR SOME REASON
ACTUALLY THAT REASON IS THAT TOOLSHEDS ARE DARK AND CONTENTLESS
KINDA LIKE MARIK’S MIND
OR YOUR MIND
Melvin was bored. He hadn’t murdered anyone since episode 43. He didn’t count his murders in Marik’s last Evil Council Meeting since it was just Bakura dreaming at the end.
Melvin needed to hug someone, and possibly stab them. “Bored now. I wish those offending German guys were here, they could use a goooood hug.” Melvin said in a voice similar to Marik’s but warped. Melvin then noticed smoke appearing inside Marik’s soul room.
“What’s this!? Smoke, IMPOSSI- no wait that was my oven on fire.” he said, noticing his oven on fire, again. “Great, now I have to go EFFing murder another Walmart employee just to replace that . It be easy if I actually knew how to operate these things. Living in a tomb sure did stone my brain.”
“WHO ARE YOU?!” yelled a female voice.
Melvin turned around to see a black horse-like figure behind, horn and wings.
“A MAJESTI- wait, what the EFF are you? You look like something out of Joey’s furry dreams.” Melvin asked.
“YOU DARE TO QUESTION NIGHTMARE MOON!” Moon replied. “I AM THE GREATEST, AND MOST EVILEST MARE IN ALL-”
“CAN I HAVE A HUG?” Melvin asked.
Nightmare Moon was puzzled by the bizarre, monkey-like creature. She hadn’t expected this to happen while finding a new host. “FOOL,” She replied, “DO YOU REALLY EXPECT THE GREATEST OF ALL EVIL TO SIMPLY GIVE IN TO YOUR DEMANDS!?”
“Geez Miss EFFing Maleficent, SORRY for intruding one of your speeches. It’s not my fault you weren’t invited to the party as well. You aren’t best villain of all time after Final Fantasy VII came out.”
Moon was confused by this creature. Never had some. . . thing ever found no fear from her (excluding Pinkie).
Moon, however, was not about to be defeated like this. “I WARNED YOU, NOW YOU WILL SUFFER MY-”
“How many people have you’ve killed so far?”
Moon was taken by surprise. Honestly, she hadn’t even got the chance to harm anypony at all.
“I DO NOT NEED TO TAKE THE LIFE OF MY NEMESES, FOR I HAVE A GREATER FATE FOR THEM.”
“Ok, care to tell this evil plot of yours? I’ve been needing to hug someone.”
BACK IN THE LIBRARY
Marik and Bakura were surrounded by their “fangirls”. Marik was enjoying the attention he was receiving. After all, he was the sexist villain of all time.
Bakura however, did not enjoy the fact that dozens of mares were constantly trying to rip his closes and millennium ring off.
“AHHHH, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S REALLY BAKURA. PLEASE, SAY IT, SAY IIIIIIT! SAY “I don’t care”, SAY IIIIIIIIIIIT!”
“His ring, it must be miiiiiine!”
A sniffing noise - “ He even smells British, ahhhhhhh.”
Bakura couldn’t handle the mares anymore. When I asked for more bloody screen time this wasn’t what I was asking for. Now that I’m with Marik, maybe being a minor character doesn’t seem bad right about now, he thought.
“Ouch, somebo- somepony help! Get all these bloody fangirls off me! I’m starting to get wanker’s cramp again!” Bakura yelled over the everlasting ocean of fangirls.
“This is excellent! It’s been forever since I’ve had this many fangirls comment on my ass before. We will soon conquer this land with my army of fangirls which I now name Steve! If Odion was here he would be thinking he was in the Gummy Bears. Now that I mention him, hadn’t seen him at all in awhile.”
MEANWHILE AT A PLACE NOT THE TOOLSHED GASP
“Master Marik, I got tickets for the Gumm-” Odion said, seeing a note next to Marik’s fluffed pillow.
‘Dear Odion, I’ve gone to hang out with Bakura again. We are going to defeat the Pharaoh this time. AND NO I DON’T WANT TO SEE THE FRIGGING GUMMY BEARS! Also could you buy me some lunch before I return, you already know what Bakura wants.
Love your favorite adoptive brother Marik’
Odion was in deep sadness. Master Marik never does stuff with me anymore. Those were the good days before Bakura came along. ‘sniff’ He would always call me Binky Boy, always enjoy my company. . . AND ALWAYS THREW AWAY MY GUMMY BEAR COLLECTION! Odion thought.
“Asshole.”
AND NOW BACK HERE ONCE MORE
Twilight and the rest of the her friends were clearly confused. These mares know of these two too?! Twilight thought. It was time Twilight asked Pinkie Pie how she came to really know how they were.
“Oh that’s silly Twilight, the Internet of course!”
“Tah wha?” Applejack asked.
“You know, it’s magic, only, without magic. And it has words, only, they aren’t in books. You know.”
The answer did not satisfy her, but shrugged it off. Gah, nevermind. Either case, I have to get rid of these mares somehow. “Rarity I-” Twilight asked before seeing Rarity fighting for some of the clothing some of the fangirls took off of Bakura.
“Get your filthy hooves off these fine pieces of fashion!” Rarity yelled in the ocean of fangirls.
Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash only to see her enjoying Bakura’s torment. Twilight saw the predictable Fluttershy hide under one of her desks.
Twilight galloped to Spike, “Spike, why did you let all these mares in!?”
“Pinkie told me it was for an important party for some new couple. Hey Twi, who’s LittleKuriboh?”
Twilight was about to reply until there was a knock on her door. Who could it be at this time. “Spike! Could you get that?”
Spike went up to open the door, moving through the crowd of fangirls. The stallion in front of him was wearing a turban with a cross like necklace. “Jagshamesh! My name is Shadi! Is it nice to meet you, no?
BACK TO THE MIND OF MARIK,
WHICH FOR SOME REASON CALLED THE TOOLSHED, AGAIN
“So that’s your evil plot?! That’s just EFFed up!” Melvin said. He was clearly disappointed in the mare, she knew nothing of fine mass murder at all.
“BUT WITHOUT THE SUN, PONIES ALROUND EQUESTRIA WOULD PERISH WITHOUT IT.”
“Yeah, but wait a few more years and they would have adapted to it. You’re just as bad as Marik is.”
“THEN WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE I DO?!”
“I have a better far less hastily made plot. One that involves a biiiiiiiiiig hug.”
To Be Continued.