//------------------------------// // Awards Ceremony // Story: The Matterhoof Mountain Peanut Race (poem) // by Palm Palette //------------------------------// Contestants: Judges: (Colgate) (Raindrops) (Shoeshine) (Agatha) “All right everypony, listen up!” The crowd was anything but quiet. Their cries and cheers had died down but they still chattered amongst each other. The blowing wind howled on top of that. Lyra, a referee, fumbled for her whistle. It felt like ice when she pressed the metal against her lips and gave it a good blow. The high-pitched sound cut through the noise and got everypony's attention. The only one still moving was Nurse Sweetheart who wrapped a warm blanket around Fluttershy and held a hoof to her forehead. Lyra peeled the frozen whistle off her lips at the loss of some skin. She pressed a hoof against her face to check for bleeding while everypony stared at her. “All right everypony, listen up! I know you're all eager to hear the awards that will be given out, but the judges need more time to discuss things amongst themselves. So until then, we'll tide things over with some of the race statistics.” This caused some murmurs amongst the crowd as they whispered to each other. None of them had heard about the extra awards either. Lyra frowned at the red spot on her hoof and the salty taste in her mouth. She'd have to remember to blow the whistle with her magic next time. “Cherry Berry, would you do the honors please?” The pink earth pony with yellow hair frowned at the sight of her hot air balloon flapping in the wind like a ribbon. It was securely moored to the mountaintop, but it was clear that she couldn't use it here. She'd just have to do her announcing from the ground. She looked around at all the snow. For now she'd stand on the winner's podium. After watching Lyra, she'd be sure not to press her megaphone against her lips in this cold air. “Ahem.” The sound seemed loud enough to her. “We know for sure that Rarity came in first, Pinkie Pie fifth, and Fluttershy sixth. The judges will make the final call on second, third and fourth place after reviewing the photographic evidence. A grand total of forty peanuts were used in this race. Since I don't have the final placement, I'll list them in alphabetical order instead. The fate of each peanut, by mare, is as follows: “Applejack: Peanut 1: Broken (later eaten by Pinkie Pie) Peanut 2: Broken (later eaten by Pinkie Pie) Peanut 3: Fell off narrow passage Peanut 4: Got wet in dark tunnel and later broke Peanut 5: Got caught in gap and broken on the upper bridge Peanut 6: Fell through gap in the upper bridge Peanut 7: Removed from play by the carry penalty and crushed in the windy passage Peanut 8: Broken on the snowy upslope Peanut 9: Crossed finish line Peanuts 10-30: Unused “Fluttershy: Peanut 1: Broke on the narrow passage Peanut 2: Blown off the upper bridge Peanut 3: Fell through gap in the upper bridge Peanut 4: Blown away in the windy passage Peanut 5: Blown away in the windy passage Peanut 6: Crossed finish line Peanuts 7-30: Unused “Pinkie Pie: Peanut 1: Fell off rope bridge into river Peanut 2: Fell off rope bridge (out of bounds) but was caught and eaten Peanut 3: Eaten Peanut 4: Eaten Peanut 5: Eaten in the dark tunnel Peanut 6: Eaten near the upper bridge Peanut 7: Eaten Peanut 8: Lost somehow on the snowy upslope (probably eaten) Peanut 9: Crossed finish line, then eaten Peanuts 10-30: Also eaten. Pinkie, you do know you're not supposed to eat them right? “Rainbow Dash: Peanut 1: Fell off rope bridge into river Peanut 2: Broken (later eaten by Pinkie Pie) Peanut 3: Eaten (at the narrow passage) Peanut 4: Got wet in dark tunnel and later broke Peanut 5: Fell through gap in the upper bridge Peanut 6: Fell through gap in the upper bridge Peanut 7: Blown away in the windy passage Peanut 8: Blown away on the snowy upslope Peanut 9: Crossed finish line Peanuts 10-30: Unused “Rarity: Peanut 1: Uh... am I reading this right?” Cherry Berry lowered her microphone and swiveled her head to face the judge's panel. They had finished conferring amongst themselves and taking notes. They kept their hooves on the table to keep their papers from blowing away while waiting for her to finish the statistics. Spike stood nearby. “Did she really cross the finish line with the same peanut that she started with? Can a pony do that? Is that even possible?” The judges nodded their heads in response. “Huh, well then-” Cherry raised her microphone again. “Rarity: Peanut 1: Crossed finish line Peanuts 2-30: Unused “Twilight Sparkle: Peanut 1: Fell off rope bridge into river Peanut 2: Fell off narrow Passage Peanut 3: Fell through a hole in the upper bridge Peanut 4: Fell through gap in the upper bridge Peanut 5: Lost in a hole on the snowy upslope Peanut 6: Crossed finish line Peanuts 7-30: Unused, uh, scratch that. They were just eaten by Pinkie Pie. “Okay everypony, sorry for the delay. It looks like the judges are ready to announce the prizes. I know we're all excited to be up here, but the cold air and thin atmosphere are getting to some folks. We'll try to wrap this up as quickly as possible. Spike, would you do the honors?” Cherry Berry got down from the winner's podium to allow the racers to take their positions. Spike climbed up on the judge's table and tapped on the microphone. The judge's panel consisted of Shoeshine, Raindrops, Minuette, and Agatha. Shoeshine's a light blue earth pony with a periwinkle mane. Her love of sports and travel probably makes her the most qualified judge on the panel. She folded back her ears and winced when Spike tapped on the microphone. The sensitivity was too high and this triggered feedback. Minuette hopped down to adjust the volume. This unicorn's also light blue but her coat's a bit darker than Shoeshine's. She has a periwinkle and blue streaked mane. She'd been going by the name 'Colgate' ever since she left her job at Town Hall to start her own dentistry clinic. She was not afraid to look ponies in the mouth, even if she had to sneak into their homes under the cover of darkness to do so. After a bit more ear-splitting screeching while she adjusted the volume, she seemed satisfied with her work and went back to the judge's panel. Raindrops' face was scrunched up and she held her hooves tightly to her ears. She could have done without that last-minute sound adjustment. From the looks of things, so could most of the audience, who also winced at the noise. This muted yellow pegasus with a light cyan mane was probably the most feared member of the Ponyville Pegasus Packer moving company. Her tendency to drop things had sent Pinkie's tail a'twitchin' plenty of times. She also helps the weather team with their larger projects. Raindrops reopened her eyes when the sound died down and rubbed her hooves across her ears to stop the ringing. Agatha gathered up all of the paperwork and sorted it while the other judges were busy. She's an elderly crystal pony with a periwinkle coat and a pale reddish-pink mane. She works as a librarian and wears circular gold-rimmed glasses. She gave the stack of papers to Spike and nodded for him to proceed. Agatha picked the names for many of the awards. “Sorry about that everyone,” Spike said. “I think all the problems worked out now. So without further ado, I'm prepared to announce the winners. Coming in first place, we have none other than the most beautiful, the most elegant, the most radiant, the most dazzling, the most phenomenal, the most-” “We get it already. Move on.” Shoeshine cut him off. Her curly hair shook when she pounded her hooves on the table. This rattled Spike a bit. “Cherry Berry said to keep it short, remember?” Raindrops added. “Oh, right.” Spike held on to the microphone to keep his balance. He straightened himself back up. “Coming in first place, we have Rarity! Please, step onto the podium.” Rarity had spent her time trying to keep her mane straight in the wind and to apply some makeup. She also wore a simple purple dress that she'd apparently brought with her. The latter wasn't such a great idea since the wind caught it when she stepped up onto the podium and blew it forward in a less-than-flattering way. She had to sit down to keep it straight. “Fist place comes with the grand prize of five-hundred bits!” Spike exclaimed. The crowd cheered in approval. “But that's not all. For being the first pony to scale the entire mountain without loosing a single peanut, the judges are granting you the honorary title of 'Matterhoof Peanut Mare' and awarding an additional cash prize of one thousand bits!” The crowd stood up in the bleachers and stomped their hooves in a roar of approval. Rarity held her hooves to her cheeks and half-blushed half-batted her eyelids in response. Her mouth hung open in shock, but she very quickly struck a majestic pose with a wide grin. It almost worked, but the wind caught her dress her again and forced her to sit back down. When the crowd died down, Spike went on, “As you all know, the race for second place was very closely contested. Based on the photographic evidence, it appears that Rainbow Dash was second, Twilight third, and Applejack fourth.” “Oh, yeah.” Rainbow Dash hopped up on the second place spot and Twilight walked over to sit on third. Applejack watched them climb up with a smile. Agatha whispered something to Spike. In his haste he'd been reading from notes that were crossed out. He flipped the page over. “Uh, but it looks like the photo wasn't taken at just the right time. Since the contestants were so close together, this means that the race was still too close to call accurately. So they're declaring a three-way tie for second instead.” Applejack hopped up on the platform next to Rainbow Dash. She may have been smiling before, but she was grinning now. She leaned over to look Dash in the eye, who shied away from her in response. Twilight got down from the third place platform and hopped up on second too. With all three of them crowded up there, Rainbow Dash nearly fell off. “The prize for second, split three ways, comes out to one hundred bits each,” Spike said. The crowd did cheer appreciably for this, but they seemed a bit confused as well. Several of them had made wagers on the race and they hadn't prepared for an outcome like this. Spike grabbed the next page. “Because of your amazing photo finish, even if it was just for second place, we're awarding each of you an additional fifty bits.” They grinned at this and the crowd cheered in approval. The howling wind was almost as loud though. Many in the crowd whispered to each other. “There's also a prize for third place, but no pony actually came in third so...” Spike scratched his head. Raindrops leaned in to speak, “In light of how difficult it was for Fluttershy to finish, we're giving that prize to her instead.” In the audience, Lucky Lavender threw up her forelegs in exasperation. Her coat's a little pinker than Twilight's and she has a two-tone purple and dark purple mane in a style similar to Colgate's. Normally, she enjoys placing friendly wagers on events like this, but outside of first place, the judges had certainly made things very confusing. So, not only were there three second-place winners, but they were giving the third place award to the pony who finished last? This made even less sense than that time they gave a medal to the pony who finished fifth in the Running of the Leaves marathon and nopony else. What's next? Were they going to give Pinkie Pie a fourth-place medal for finishing fifth? Fluttershy smiled weakly in response to her winning the third place award. She looked at the empty spot on the podium, but didn't make any effort to get up. The blankets Nurse Sweetheart had wrapped around her were far too cozy to abandon. The pink nurse with white freckles and a striped white and light purple mane was currently trying to clean off Fluttershy's face. Given how runny her nose was, this was a loosing battle. A magenta light wrapped itself around Fluttershy and she gave a little “Eep” as Twilight picked her up and gently deposited her on the third place platform. Nurse Sweetheart glared at Twilight for disturbing her patient. Spike took the microphone back from Raindrops and said, “Third place comes with the prize of one hundred bits.” Fluttershy's teeth chattered but she nodded appreciably at the crowd's cheers. “And also because of your dramatic finish with the last-ditch effort to get your peanut across the finish line, the judges have awarded you an extra fifty bits.” The crowd cheered even louder for this, but Fluttershy was too busy coughing to respond. “Sorry, Fluttershy.” Twilight hung her head low as she apologized. Nurse Sweetheart picked the blankets up to wrap around Fluttershy again. They weren't warm this time because they'd fallen in the snow. She winced at the cold. “Lastly, there's a fifty bit prize for all other racers who completed the course,” Spike read, “but since you're the only pony who hasn't gotten anything yet, Pinkie, you can think of this a prize for fourth place-” A thud interrupted Spike. Somepony had fallen off the bleachers. Nurse Sweetheart grabbed her first aid kit and went to investigate. Colgate leaned forward to speak into the microphone. “It looks like the cold and thin air is a bit more hazardous than we expected. If you're feeling faint at all, I'd recommend getting onto one of the air buses and they'll ferry you down. You can read about the rest of the awards in the paper tomorrow.” A couple of ponies took her up on that suggestion. They were mostly younger fillies who were shivering in the cold. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were also shivering but they huddled together and shared a blanket. They were determined to see this through. The pegasus drivers took off when Spike reclaimed the microphone. While the air buses were big, unicorn magic kept them lightweight so only four pegasus were needed to pull them. “Pinkie, they weren't really sure what to say about that snowball thing, but it sure was silly. For your, uh, misplaced effort, you can have an extra prize of fifty bits.” “Hey, thanks.” Pinkie Pie stood in front of the winner's podium. She smiled in appreciation. Shoeshine opened a box and passed off the gold medal to Agatha who measured off a length of blue ribbon. Shoeshine frowned, and left the table to look for something. Spike flipped to the next page and kept reading. “We have two group awards to give out. These awards are only given out when every member of the team meets the requirements. First of all, there's a Fully Committed award for a team where everypony finishes the race. This is worth twenty-five bits each. Secondly, you qualify for the Good Sportsmanship award for never invoking the 'rough-horsing' penalty. This is also worth twenty-five bits each, but since you went way beyond what was necessary and showed every effort to support each other throughout the race, they've decided to increase this prize thrice fold. That's seventy-five bits each. Congratulations, you've earned it.” Spike clapped his hands while the audience hooted in appreciation. Agatha passed Spike the gold medal and pointed at the podium. After Spike took it and hopped off the table, Agatha leaned towards the microphone to speak. “Lastly we have two personalized awards for each pony. One that emphasizes strong points, and one that points out weakness. We'll pass out the medals as we go along.” Rarity didn't wait for Spike to get there and yanked the medal from his claws with her magic. “Oof.” Spike landed in the snow. She placed the medal on herself. The blue ribbon matched the accents on her dress fairly well. The wind had died down a bit, so she risked standing up again. As she did so, the clouds parted enough to allow a ray of sunlight to highlight her. The sapphires on her dress twinkled in response to her movements. She turned back and forth and blew kisses, so that everypony there could take pictures and drink in her appearance. The clouds continued to part, and the sun shone full-force on the mountaintop again. The lower angle allowed the white snow to catch the sunlight and glare it back to blind everypony up there. The crowd universally winced and buried their eyes under their hooves. Agatha got the worst of it. Being semi-transparent can be rather disadvantageous at times. Raindrops and a few other pegasus flew up to close the gap in the clouds. Once they'd done so, everypony breathed a sigh of relief. The wind started to pick back up again and Rarity sat down preemptively. There was a pause as Agatha rubbed the spots from her eyes. She put her glasses back on and started speaking again. “Rarity, dear, you get the Tank, the Tortoise award for your steady pace. Fifty bits.” “Yeah, Tank is pretty awesome,” Rainbow Dash said in agreement. Shoeshine spat out the hacksaw she'd been using and talked into the microphone to interject, “She also gets the Continental Drift award for adopting a pace so slow that she's the most likely to be overtaken by geology. Two bits.” The crowd giggled at this. Spike had been hanging around the podium, admiring Rarity, but came back to the judge's table when Raindrops called for him. She tied off a wedge-shaped silver piece to a red ribbon and gave it to him. Spike returned to the winner's podium, but paused when he got there. He only had one medal and there were three ponies crowded on second place. He didn't know who to give it to. Agatha took the microphone again. “The My Little Peanut award goes to Dashie for her ability to make the world a better place just by being there. One hundred bits.” “Oh yeah! I am just that awesome.” Rainbow Dash took the one-third second-place medal from Spike and hung it around her neck. The point was facing down. “Way to go, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo called out amongst cheers from the crowd. Dash went to stretch her wings, but wound up slapping Applejack with them instead, who gave her the strangest look. “Whoops, sorry, Applejack.” Raindrops took the microphone. “She also gets the Recklessness award for loosing the most peanuts off the edge of the trail. Two bits.” Rainbow Dash huffed in response. Well, at least it wasn't something about 'crashing'. She only did that once. Spike collected the next medal fragment and carried it out to the podium. “Twilight Sparkle gets the Apple Bloom's Santa Hooves award for never giving up hope. Seventy-five bits,” Agatha said. “Oh, thank you, everypony so much.” Twilight bent her head low to accept the medal from Spike. She beamed at the crowd and may have waved a hoof too, but she was pinned between Applejack and the edge of the podium. Raindrops spoke up again, “She also gets the Clumsiness award for hurting herself the most. Two bits.” Twilight kept smiling and gave a slight nod. She knew she could be clumsy at times but it hurt to have it pointed out like that where other ponies could laugh at her for it. Spike returned with the last of the second-place medal fragments to give to Applejack. Perhaps some day the three of them could have a tie-breaker competition to determine who gets the second-place award and they could make it whole again. Maybe 'tie-breaker' isn't the best term for that. Tie-wholer? Tie-mender? “To Applejack, we give the A Real Pony award for being honest and dependable. One hundred bits,” Agatha said. “Why thank ya all kindly for your appreciation.” Applejack nodded to show off her medal. That was the best she could do while pinned between two other ponies. Colgate took the microphone this time. “You also get the Snoz of Steel award for breaking the most peanuts with your face. Two bits.” “Uh, well, Ah guess I did push them a bit hard,” Applejack said. When Spike went back to the judge's table, they gave him the bronze medal tied off with a white ribbon. Spike Spike returned to the winner's podium and scratched his head when he looked at the blob of covers lying on the third-place platform. He draped the medal over the pink spot in the middle where he assumed Fluttershy's head would be. He was distinctly aware that the crowd was watching. “C'mon, Fluttershy. Do something,” he hissed and elbowed the pile. “Huunuh?” Fluttershy poked her head up. The ribbon draped over her ears and the bronze medal landed on her (rather red) nose. Some ponies laughed at the sight, but most of the crowd still cheered for her. “Raagh-choo!” For his efforts, Spike got cough-sneezed on. He hurled himself into a snowbank to wipe off her cooties. Agatha took the microphone. “Fluttershy, you're awarded the Thomas the Train Engine award for your persistence in the face of adversity even after the race had already been decided. One hundred bits.” Fluttershy opened and closed her mouth and made a thin, raspy noise. If she said anything, it was too faint to hear. Shoeshine took the microphone and added, “She also gets the Wrong Way award for loosing the most ground to letting her peanut roll downhill. Two bits.” Fluttershy just buried her head in the blankets again. Spike extracted himself from the snow when Raindrops called for him. He took the last item and went over to the winner's podium to look for Pinkie Pie. Apparently, she'd gotten bored of standing in one spot so long and wandered off. Spike spotted her not too far away trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue. It wasn't snowing, but the wind picked up loose snow that had been stirred up by the ponies milling on top of the mountain. Spike motioned for her to come stand in front of the podium again. Shoeshine said, “We didn't have a fourth-place medal so we went ahead and tied off that rock you pushed across the finish line to a piece of string for you to wear.” “Gee, thanks.” Pinkie Pie didn't sound all that thankful. She swatted at the rock after Spike put it around her neck. Agatha leaned forward to speak again. “Pinkie, you get the Wilbur award for being 'some pig'. I think you can guess why you got that. For the prize, we're awarding you with your entire body weight in peanuts.” “What?! No way!” All thoughts of irritation forgotten, Pinkie Pie hopped up and down in pure joy. “That's a super-dooper amazing amount of peanuts. Do you know know how many peanuts that is? 'Cause I do. It's two- WAIT! I'm not telling you how much I weigh!” Pinkie stopped bouncing mid-air and landed in a huff. Colgate took the microphone to respond. “Mayor Mare has an oversized scale in Town Hall that we can use to balance your mass against the peanuts directly. We don't have to take your weight.” “Okay dokey.” “Oh, and, Pinkie,” Colgate went on, “you also get the Dietary Fiber award. You don't have to eat the shells too, you know. That can't be good for your teeth. For the prize, you can keep all of the peanuts that you've already eaten.” Pinkie raised one hoof, then lowered it again. She opened and closed her mouth and blinked a few times. “Uh, thanks... I think?” Nopony really knew what she was doing, but they found her confusion along with the prospect of actually having to return those peanuts amusing. Shoeshine took the microphone again. “Well that was the last of the prizes, so everypony show a big round of applause for our contestants!” Everypony still there stood up to hoot and holler and stomp in a big show of appreciation. Even the mountain seemed to show its support with an extra-strong gust of wind. When the crowd quieted down, Shoeshine had a few last words to say, “One last thing – it's getting dark soon, so the trail down the mountain is closed to travel. Even if you have a light, it's still too easy to take a misstep and fall off a cliff. The air buses will keep making trips until each and every pony is safely off the mountain so please be patient. Thank you all for coming out here. It's been a wonderful pleasure.”