//------------------------------//
// Violence solves everything 
// Story: MLP: Friendship is Meatbags 
// by mooneyboys 
//------------------------------//

Violence solves everything.
 
“Commentary: Master I think you are overreacting over nothing,” HK tells Twilight.
 
“Tell me about it,” Spike agrees while mumbling under his breath in order to avoid Twilight’s wrath. 
 
“I am not overreacting over nothing HK-47!” Twilight snaps. “As I already told you, the emperor of the Griffon Kingdom, Queen Chrysalis of the changeling empire, and the President of the Zebrican republic are coming to Equestria! To talk about you of all things!”
 
“Twilight? Are you…… jealous?” Spike asks her in surprise.
 
“I am not!”
 
“Statement: Master I am pretty sure you are jealous. Why else would you say ‘about you of all things!?’” Hk asks her, while mimicking her voice perfectly. “If you weren’t jealous you would have said something along the lines of: They came here to talk about your stay in Equestria! You could be torn apart!
 
“Of course they would have to get their stupid meatbag hands/hooves on me, which I would make it impossible being a very dangerous and very deadly assassin droid. I would shoot up the entire room and single handedly kill all the guards and politicians in the room and probably start a world war. I’ve always wanted to start a world war.”
 
The room was deathly quiet. The only sound in the room was Spike’s breathing and Twilight’s occasional breath. The occasional ‘whurrr’ came from the droid in front of its two companions.
 
“See? This proves my point! Anything could happen and HK could single hoofedly start a world war!” Twilight says while starting to resume panicking and pacing back and forth.
 
“Yeah. She’s overreacting” Spike says to no one in particular.
 
“Comforting Appeasement: Master if it makes you feel any better I do not plan on murdering any of them…… Yet. Maybe if one of them annoys me too much. Injuries however, are to be expected master. Query: When is the damn chariot supposed to be picking us up?”
 
“HK first off, what did I tell you about swearing? Secondly, why do you enjoy hurting things? Thirdly, The chariot should be coming any moment now” She tells her companion.
 
Before HK can say anything the sound of beating wings can be heard. Followed by a thud. Followed by somepony screaming “MY CABBAGES!”
 
“Obvious Assumption: Master I think we found them”
 
The trio went outside by the market square to see a squad of royal guard pegasi, griffons, and changelings all squished and bunched together on top of a cart full of what everyone assumed was cabbages. The royal chariot that is to pick them up is right next to the cart. Somehow, despite being right next to the carnage, it is completely clean of cabbage guts on it.
 
“What is going on here!?” Twilight asks the guards.
 
One of the guards looks up and sees Twilight and immediately panics and gets up and salutes her. “P-Princess Twilight! Private Swift Wings reporting in Sir! I uh I mean Ma’am! Princess Celestia sent us to escort you and the …” He stops and takes out a scroll and reads from it before Twilight can say anything. “The uhhh…… droid….. You and the droid to Canterlot for a world meeting with Queen Chrysalis, King Atlas, and High councilor Ceaser of the Zebra nations.” He then rolls up the scroll. “So Princess Twilight, any questions?”
 
“Yes, if you are here to escort me, why are the griffons and changelings here with you?” She asks him.
 
“Oh umm that…..” He starts nervously. “Well you see Princess….. King Atlas and Queen Chrysalis apparently don’t trust us enough to escort you two peacefully so they sent a squad each to come help escort. Of course due to tensions across the three countries we all got into an argument around the time we got into Ponyville. Soon enough that argument turned into a fight and the next thing we know we’re on top of some shop and somepony is screaming something about cabbages.”
 
“Arrogant statement: You can send all the troops you want, but unless my master wishes me to or I wish it so, you will never take me anywhere. Especially since you meatbags don’t have ion weaponry to take me down effectively.” HK says to no one in particular.
 
The guard flinches when HK spoke, “It can TALK!? In EQUESTRIAN?!?”
 
“Annoyed Query:*Sigh* Why do meatbags always assume that they are not speaking an inter-galactic language? Correction: Listen here meatbag, you are not speaking ‘Equestrian’ you are speaking galactic basic. Get that right.”
 
Before the private can speak, the rest of the group finally recovered and set their eyes on HK-47. The Royal guards look at the droid in awe. Rumors of the droid have spread all over Equestria. The griffons and changelings pointed their weapons at it and look at HK in suspicion.
 
“Query: Master I am getting impatient. Can we get this show on the road already?” HK says and without anyone’s consent, goes up to the carriage, rips the door off its hinges, got in the carriage, and welded the door back onto the carriage.
 
Reluctantly, after a few minutes of being awestruck at the droid, Twilight walks into the other, not welded shut, side of the carriage and enters. “You know you didn’t have to do that, you know that right?”
 
“Objection: Master if I didn’t show a superiority of strength, these meatbags would never have taken me seriously, and as fun as that would be to utterly decimate them, I want to prove to them whose the superior superpower here. Plus it is always good to aim for overkill rather than underkill. 
 
“I guess that makes sense…..”
 
“Satisfaction: Of course it is master. I said it so it must make sense. I am a droid, we cannot not make sense, it is in our programming.
 
Twilight had nothing to say to that so she said nothing and stared out the window.
 
Two of the royal guard hooked themselves up to the chariot while the others surrounded the carriage. The griffons and the changelings surround the unburdened guards as they began to take off…. Or tried to. 

Both guards attached to the chariot are trying to move the carriage an inch. “Grrr Celestia damn it do you weigh a ton or something!?” One of the guard manages to grunt as half a dozen more guards attach themselves to the chariot. “Correction: Actually i weigh 1.25 tons plus an extra ton or two of supplies. I hope to the very core of my memory core that you are suffering.” Eventually, with the help of two griffons and changelings, managed to make the chariot fly and they are finally on their way to Canterlot. During that time, everypony, griffon, and changeling kept a tight grip on their weapons and kept giving each other the evil eye(s), as if they cannot trust anyone that isn’t part of their species.
 
That is until HK-47 decided to make a very loud beeping sound. It was loud enough to be heard over the sound of raging wind as they flew.
 
“I SURRENDER!!!” Every guard, griffon, and changeling screamed as they spread their wings farther in the air, causing them to scatter and shake the chariot, nearly making it plummet in the process. they eventually get the chariot back under control and gave the biggest, meanest glare they could at HK, who was somehow giggling like a madman
 
“Statement: I got you meatbags.  You meatbags are very easy to scare and or terrify. I could seriously get used to this place. Assuming master, you get to let me kill something.”
 
Everyone promptly ignored the droid and took off toward Canterlot, where the World governments are having the ‘meeting’
 
Twilight was blushing the entire trip. Not because she saw someone cute, but because she was utterly embarrassed. Not once has HK ever done something like that and every time she forgot about it, a guard would meet her eyes and she would remember it all over again, starting the cycle all over again.
 
Thankfully for everyone the trip didn’t last long. What seemed like a second to everyone, but was 103.6 minutes to HK-47, the group sees Canterlot Castle and they speed up their flying to finally land.
 
Once everyone landed not only were there royal guards, griffons, and changelings surrounding the carriage, but zebras were doing the same thing. The zebra held a dense population here.For every 3 zebras there were 1 guard, 1 griffon, and 1 changeling. Everyone was pointing a weapon at the carriage.
 
First Twilight came out and only the Royal guard relaxed a little bit. But they quickly toughened up again and went back to being serious. This made Twilight nervous. Equestria hasn’t seen action since the changeling invasion and even then the guards were, unfortunately, not as serious as they were now. She was nervous the entire time it took to stand by her former mentor’s side.
 
HK takes a chaotic (to Discord’s glee) entrance by busting the door open with its leg. It swings out and stands up to his full height. The guards closest to it were shaking in fear by the time the door “opened’ and they nearly fainted when it stood up. The guards behind them were just as terrified though they showed it less.
 
HK turns his red eyes from a soft menacing red up to mass-murderer-demon-like red eyes and scanned the guards/warriors surrounding him. Everyone that came into his vision did their best not to shake and/or faint. Most failed, only the baddest of every species were able to not shake, but they kept blinking uncontrollably the entire ordeal.
 
After a few minutes of unbearable silence HK kills it. “Querying joke: How did you meatbags know it was my birthday?”
 
Suddenly out of nowhere, coming out from a trash can, Pinkie pops out and screams “WHAT!? It’s your birthday and you never TOLD us!?” Her hair quickly went from puffy and cotton candy-y to the flattest hairstyle ever while holding a shocked and sad expression.
 
HK was taking great pleasure from seeing Pinkie being sad and harmed. However his life is to serve and Twilight would probably want it to…… “Apologize” too bad she has to give the order first
 
“Sarcastic mockery: Pinkie Pie was it? Let us be clear. 1.) I am not your friend. 2.) It is not my birthday. Droids do not have birthdays. 3) you are ‘obviously’ a very dim witted, almost down-right stupid, meatbag if you ever thought that a.) I would ever tell you when I was created b.) You would ever catch me off guard with a ‘surprise party’ and c) throwing me a surprise party. I would rather be swimming in a river of molten magma. Which, by the way, I can do without much difficulty.”
 
Pinkie wasn’t there anymore. She somehow went back into the trashcan with tears in her eyes and disappeared. “HK-47!” a shocked Twilight screams at her droid. “That wasn’t very nice!”
 
“Annoyed response: Master I am an assassin droid! I am not nice! I was never nice! You cannot seriously expect me to go against my programming! I am programmed evil! I will do acts of evil and cruelty! And if you weren’t holding me back I would’ve already murdered every single one of you!”
 
“Hey!” A voice shouted out of nowhere. Every guard near the voice got out of the unknown pony’s way, for fear of being in the line of fire. Anyone that wasn’t in front of him or next to him shoved him forward. The voice was a royal guard, a new guy by the looks of it. “You can’t do that to the elements of harmony bearers!”
 
“Mockery: Oh? And what, pray tell, are you going to do about it? Try and kill me? Arrest me? You can’t do anything. I however can do anything I please as long as it doesn’t interfere with my master’s orders. And luckily for you, master has forbade me from killing you ‘ponies’…….yet”
 
“You see!? This is why we should get rid of that thing!” Another new voice out of nowhere speaks.
 
Everyone turns and sees a griffon with a crown and a long cape, a zebra wearing some sort of spiritual necklace, and Chrysalis walking out from a door along with Princess Luna.
 
“King Atlas calm down. The droid has done nothing to give us to give judgment. Wait till we interrogate it” Princess Luna attempts to calm down the king.
 
“Psh really? Are you that dumb “Princess”? That thing took down a dragon by itself! I hardly think we can’t give judgment” The angry king replied.
 
“Hush now your majesty. We cannot act on impulse alone. It has killed a dragon, yes. But if a pony or a griffon defeated this rare beast, we would be celebrating their glorious achievement. Why should this be any different?” The zebra replied
 
“I agree. If that thing can take down a dragon by itself, it wouldn’t be wise to anger it.” Chrysalis agrees with the zebra.
 
The king scoffs. Chrysalis, you and Kael have always agreed with each other not matter what. You’re always trying to overthrow me with a more “fair” ruler. Why can’t you two admit for once I’m right and we must get RID of this thing!?”
 
“Angered threat: This “Thing” can hear you meatbag. It would be very wise to listen to your companions before you find yourself at death’s doorstep.” HK threatens, earning a “You see!?” from the king.
 
“HK-47 control yourself!” Twilight commands the droid.
 
“Objection: But master you said I am not allowed to kill “anypony” These creatures, aside from the striped one, are obviously not ponies so I can do whatever I want”
 
“No you cannot! They are not a threat to anyone or anypony!”
 
“Objection: I beg to differ. The fat one threatened to attempt and destroy me”
 
“HEY! I can hear you, you know!” Atlas angrily replies. “Do not make me send my elite guards on you!”
 
The royal guards shifted uncomfortably. The Griffons physically are superior to ponies and they have a tougher military life, making them the military power that can take down most things in a 1V1. So their common soldiers, naturally, are way better than normal pony guards. Who knows what kind of training their elite troops have gone through. However the droid in question is not only made of metal, but its weapons are far more sophisticated than anything Gaia has seen.
 
“HK please don’t patronize him” Twilight pleads to the droid, but it chooses to ignore her.
 
“Mockery: Ooh? You’re ‘elite’ guard? Oh no please don’t send the elite guard! Aggressive statement: Listen here you fat meatbag. I have taken down many warriors, all of whom makes your “elite” training useless and outdated. The kind of things those soldiers that I’ve killed have done are unmentionable due to the pacifism of this god-awful world. Oh the kinds of things the sith would do here….”
 
King Atlas is steaming with fury. Not only did this machine just insult him and his guard. But it refused to tell the kinds of foes it has killed and claimed they are tougher than the elite! Without thinking the king flicks his claws and his best soldiers from the surrounding guard march forward, their weapons at the ready with the intent to destroy the machine.
 
The remaining guards quickly bunched together closer and closer until they formed an impenetrable wall of flesh. There was no backing out now for the griffons.
 
One charged in without thinking and was quickly defeated when HK took the poor creature’s spear and threw it, with him along, over its head and into the mass of guards. Two charged in at once when their companion went flying.
 
Quick as lightning, HK took out one of his sith assassin pistols while twirling bounty hunter style and rammed the butt of the pistol into one of the charging griffon’s skull.  A loud bone crushing “CRA-A-CK!” can be heard throughout the entire castle and everyone wincing in sympathy for the poor soul. HK kicked the guard away from him and turned its pistol at the third guard and shot him right between the eyes with a loud “P-DEW!”
 
Once the body fell to the ground It took out another assassin pistol and without looking away from the angry griffon king, started gunning down every last griffon in the building, and gunning down a few of every species for good measure.
 
As soon as he stopped firing and everybody that was dead, was on the ground, only then did HK take his pistols and put them away into who-knows-where.
 
“Query: Shall we have peace talks or start this planet’s First World War?