“Oh. That must be my friend.” said Chancy as she got up to get the door with a little more spring in her step that she had five minutes ago. She opened the door and greeted the stranger outside, as she did so Sombra and Chrysalis began arguing over who should have acted first and what they were going to do next. They were cut short however when Chancy’s guest walked in. Skittish was the first to see him and tapped Chrysalis on the shoulder to get her attention. “Stop that you’re getting that hoof polish all over…” she stopped short at the sight of the creature behind them. Chancy’s friend’s was a very odd fellow, shockingly odd, so much so in fact that anypony who described him could quite easily be mistaken for a lunatic. He sported a thick coat of brown fur over his bogy, but that was the only thing normal about him. The rest of his body was a crazy hodgepodge of random animal parts. He had the paw of a lion on one side of his body, and an eagle’s talons on the other. His right leg was a goat’s and his left was that of a crocodile, and sprouting from his backside was a dragon’s tale. On his back was the blue feathered wing of a bird, and the webbed wing of a bat. His head was that of a pony but his eyes were different sizes and he had one long snaggletooth and a billy goat’s beard. Crowning his strange head were the antlers of both a deer and a gazelle. Which side each horn was on didn’t really matter, because although they were generally in one place they would occasionally switch sides, but only when you weren’t paying attention. Although this strange creature’s appearance was quite unsettling, it was not the reason for Chrysalis’s astonishment. She was at a loss for words because he shouldn’t be standing in front of her. The draconequus stepped forward to introduce himself, “Greetings, I am Discord the, ahem, former Lord of Chaos. Here, my card.” Discord reached behind his ear and produced a playing card which he handed to Skittish. It was a two of diamonds with little horns and beards on each of the diamonds and the draconequus’s title and contact information scrawled in crayon.
Chancy stepped between Discord and her other guests as she introduced her friend, “I do believe this wonderful draconequus was at the center of one of those “Incidents” old Hardtime is having you write about. I am very glad to say that thanks to my influence he has recently been rehabilitated. I’ll admit that most ponies are still a little uneasy around him, but in the two weeks since his parole there has only been one harmless incident, proof that our justice system works.” Chancy declared with pride.
“And that incident can hardly be counted against me.” Discord chimed in. “I simply over heard Celestia complaining about an extremely lazy palace employee, a rather apply named Mr. Turnup who never came to word when he was supposed to. He simply turned up whenever he felt like working. Wanting to make a good impression on my employer, I took matters into my own hands to right the situation. And well let’s just say ponies don’t like having an eleven foot draconequus following them about causing chaos all around them until they go back to work.” Discord proclaimed quite manor-of-factly.
The chimeric creature strode around to the back of Skittish and Chrysalis’ seats and placed his hands on their shoulders “So tell me, who are these fine ponies you’re entertaining?” he asked with a over the top amount of enthusiasm.
Skittish was about to say something when chrysalis interrupted him, “My name is Justice and this is Longarm. We’re law students, and Chancy was kind enough to allow us to interview her for a class project. We would like to interview you as well if that isn’t a problem.”
“Oh of course not, the only question is where to begin.” Discord wiped his paw on his fur and snapped his fingers, producing a large couch which he threw himself on. “I think my urge to cause chaos stems from my childhood. I had a distant father…”
“Please Mr. Discord, as interesting as your childhood must be, that is not what we are here to discuss.” Chrysalis said placing a hoof over the draconepuus’ mouth..
“Of course, I sometimes forget that my somewhat bombastic personality clashes with most ponies.” Discord stood and clapped his hands bidding the couch to morph into a large upholstered chair, and retook his seat. “Please continue with the interview.”
The seconds ticked on as Chrysalis tried her hardest to come up with a good set of interview questions, knowing that with each passing moment her cover came closer to falling apart. What would you ask a recently paroled draconequus anyway, for that matter what would she ask a retired judge? Although Sombra’s plan to free discord had already been actualized, their mission was far from over. Chrysalis had always assumed that there freeing Discord would win his allegiance, but now that he was on probation and the fast track to rehabilitation would he really want to return to his old ways? Finally after what seemed like an eternity Chrysalis asked the first question that popped into her head. “Well first let’s try to get an idea of your back ground. Is your erratic behavior and compulsion to cause anarchy unique to yourself or is it shared by others of your species?”
“Why dose everypony always ask that?” he asked out with a great sigh, “There are no others it’s just me. I don’t even know what the plural form of draconequus would be, let alone what you would call a group of us. Would it be a troop, flock or business, I personally prefer gaggle but that’s just me.”
“I don’t think any group of animals is called a business.”
“Ferrets my deer, not to be confused with a group of weasels of course, which is known as a gang.”
“Chrysalis was speechless at how fast Discord could derail a conversation. She blinked twice and shook her head to clear her thoughts of anything to do with posies, congregations, or any other gathering of beasts. “So if you are the only one of your kind then were did you come from?” Chrysalis asked. Although she was lying her way through this interview she was genuinely interested in this question.
Discord gave Chrysalis a long blank stare, “Look Justice, I know that these general questions are supposed to get me comfortable and all that, but honestly they irritate me. I’ve had several interviews with various journalists and radio announcers in my two weeks of freedom. If you need to get any information of that nature, simply pick up any newspaper or magazine that‘s less than a week old.”
After several rather poor interview questions Discord turned to Skittish, “So far your partner has asked all of the questions, and quite frankly she is beginning to boar me. I’m hope that you can interject something to keep this interview interesting.” Skitished opened his mouth to say something when Chrysalis put her hoof in his mouth. “Unfortunately my partner can not speak for the duration of this interview.”
“Oh, and why is that?” Discord asked razing an eyebrow.
“He was in charge of taking notes, and he forgot his notebook you see. As a consequence for his careless ness he must divert all of his attention to committing the entire interview to memory.” Chrysalis nervously grinned hoping that Discord would believe her.
“Well if that’s all then please allow me to remedy that little problem.” Discord snapped his fingers and a little blue notebook appeared along with a purple quill. “I think you’ll find that the entire conversation up to this point is already written down.” Skittish took the notebook and flipped through its pages to find that Discords words rang true. The interview had indeed been recorded in great detail. When Skittish reached first blink page he saw something very curious. It seemed that words where appearing all on there own, and not in the neat and professional looking handwriting from before either. These were sloppy and covered several lines.
Skittish handed the notepad to Chrysalis as the last letter completed it self. Nopony could really tell how pale he was, but under his hoof polish disguise he was as white as a sheet. “Passing notes are we?” Discord said with a raised eyebrow. Chrysalis glanced down at the paper to read the message witch read “I’m on to you.” Chrysalis looked at Skittish inquisitively. She passed quickly scribbled “Why would you write something so stupid?” and handed the notepad back to Skittish. Skittish quickly relpied with “I didn’t, he did!”
“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but its incredibly rude to ignore a draconequus during an interview!” Discord who was now thoroughly annoyed.
“Well you were kind enough to let us interview you.” Chrysalis said nervously.
“Well I do believe that I have an appointment with the princess so I have to leave.” Discord got up from his chair and snapped his fingers, at which point the chair turned into a briefcase. Discord picked up his new brief case and snapped again creating a suit and overcoat.
“Can we schedule a follow up interview?” Chrysalis asked.
“Of course, if you don’t mind it being a month from now.” Discord said as he walked toward the door. As discord left he called over his shoulder, “Oh and don’t contact me I’ll contact you!” and with that he was gone.