I just wanted to go to Equestria!

by Ditz

First Day Surprises

Anyway, we make our way through the hallways, filled with countless amounts of lockers in each side with their perfect designs and their lack of imperfections -seriously, I’m not getting over that any time soon- I decide to look at the other students as we walk, and I have to say… They are exactly the same as they were for me in high school, except that the fedora rate has increased exponentially.

“So… What’s your name, new guy?” Pinkie asks me as she twists her body backwards while walking, I would make an indecent joke having to do with flexibility, but I’m better than that.

…

Shut up brain, no one asked you.

“My name is… Lemon Lime…” the name is starting to stick in, but if I don’t want to accept the life I’ve been thrown into, I must dislike it at every step. “Just call me Pat, though, okay?”

“Okay dokey lokey!” she says with enthusiasm. “But your name is cute, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to be called that.”

…

Oh, I... I think my brain just shut down for a second there, I think Pinkie Pie just called my name cute, and I swear I feel like I just reached enlightenment or something. And while it might have not been my real name, I’ll take what I can get.

“Here we are!” I look at the door she is suddenly pointing at and groan, the words ‘Geometry’ welcoming me with its hellish angles and variables behind it, I swear, I can smell the numbers from here.

“Okay then! Here is your schedule back!” she hands me the paper back and heads off, walking away, and leaving on my own, I wave her goodbye weakly and then turn to the door once more. I’m now gulping… This is gonna be terrible.

After two terrible classes and two equally terrible cases of ‘Idontknowanything-itis’ I walk the hallways, following one of my classmates while suddenly having a moment of useful thought; shouldn’t I be thinking of a way to get back home? Well, Celestia was obviously just a normal woman, and so was Luna, leaving me with nothing to go on … Well, that was short lived.

And despite all my rage, I’m still just a rat in a cage

Ugh, I’m not really a fan of the Smashing Pumpkins, but that line comes to mind, it really fits my current situatio- “Oof!” I fall to the ground, failing to notice the person in front of me.

“What do you think you are doing?” asks me an obviously female, yet tomboyish voice. I look up and I find myself with… Er… Dubstep pony? I think? I don’t know, I can’t be expected to remember all names all the time, but her blue hair, stylish clothes, and just generally cool look tell me enough.

“Um.. Walking?” I tell her. She removes her glasses an- HA, I KNEW HER EYES WERE MAGENTA-d gives me an analyzing stare.

“Right... To the girls bathroom?” I look to the side and find the symbol. Well, silly me, I'm not a girl.

“Sorry, I guess I was caught up in my own thoughts…" I explain. "I’m new here and I was trying to reach the cafeteria… So I followed the first pon-erson I came across!” she snorts and helps me on my feet.

“Alright, I’ll let it go new guy, but you better hurry, lunch service closes in five minutes, and you have a long run to make, all the way down the hallway and turn right.”

“What!? I’ve been following you for that long? I thought you were heading to lunch!” okay, I was now going from silly to dumb.

“I like to walk, less chatter and I can listen to music all I want without any interruptions… Or so I thought. You should hurry by the way,” I quickly get on my feet and thank DJ non-pony before running to the cafeteria for my lunch.

…

I arrive at ‘stock lunchroom design No. 117’ and wow over its genericness, but I suppose it gets the job done. I walk toward the line where I see a few trays, I eagerly grab one, and jump in, ready for some much needed grub.

And of course, I can feel my eyes watering as I stare at the ‘Closed’ sign in the line, I drop my tray and make a 180, bumping into someone before I can make sense of what to do next… I seem to be getting better at that.

“Ugh… Sorry, my bad!” I apologize to the bumpee.

“Ooh! Hey Pat! What are you doing on the floor?” I look up and find the smiling form of Pinkie Pie welcoming me.

“Oh, Pinkie… Well, nothing, I’m just checking how hard the floor is,” I am on the floor and she is asking me a stupid question, okay? And I may be acting sarcastically, but it’s better than my first thought of smacking her on the back of the head, but I don’t know her that well yet.

She gives me a quick look before asking. “Are you going back to class already? Have you eaten something yet?” she awaits my answer rather eagerly.

“Eh… Yeah, I have,“ I lie, while in response, my stomach growls. You shall pay.

“Liar! Someone hasn’t eaten yet!~” she helps me on my feet and hands me a tray. “Here you go! Some salad for you! So who are you sitting with?” she really needs to stop these quick conversation shifts.

“No one. I’m new here and stuff,” if her look of horror didn’t surprise me in the show, it certainly did now, I didn’t have time to mull over it, what with her dragging me across the place, taking me to an empty table.

“I’m eating with you then!” she sits right across me and instantly digs into her macaroni bowl. “Cmm un! Bur salad ish greting gold!” she tells me, pieces of the cheesy pasta dropping back on her bowl… Eww. And I’m eating a salad? EWW!

“Thank you, Pinkie Pie,” I dig in regardless, I can’t really look a gift horse in the mouth (ha!). I dig into the bowl and haphazardly eat it; I just found out that spoons were NOT made to be used on salads. Go figure.

“So I just remembered, you are new here! You deserve some welcome party or something like that!” Pinkie begins, and I can’t help but gulp at that comment.

“Party? Well, what are you gonna do? Introduce me to the rest of the school?” she looks up from her plate and smiles.

“Oh! Good idea!” she gets on top of the table and shouts. “Hey everyone! Let‘s all welcome the new guy, his name is Lemon! Whoohoo!” I expect them to burst into song, but I find myself surprised when I see a few of them lazily clapping while others roll their eyes in annoyance; I nearly want them to perform after such underwhelming performance… Almost.

“Ugh… Thanks, Pinkie,” I can’t help but feel embarrassed by the display, but no harm done, I guess. “Funny, I expected you to burst into song,” I tell her honestly.

“Well, I would have, but bursting into song at lunchtime is against the rules,” she tells me matter-of-factly while I do a spit-take with salad, pieces of it flying to her face.

She only stares at me, unaffected by my act. Okay then.

“Really?” I reply returning to the point, and well, I can’t help but finding that a tough point to believe.

“It’s true!” she says defensively. “And it wouldn’t have been if those basketball players hadn’t burst into song with all those... Basketballs! They made some real damage to the windows,” she gets up before I can ask anymore and waves. “Well, my job here is done! I’ll see you later!” I watch her walk away farther, and farther, and farther, and why am I not stopping her?

“Pinkie, wait!”

“Yes?” I jump out of my seat as she is now standing behind me. Accursed gypsy powers of hers! I recover quickly thought, second/third impressions matter.

“Er… Do you want to maybe… Hang out? I don’t know anyone here and well… You know?” I should get a price for eloquence.

“Oh, w-well,” I raise a brow, Pinkie Pie stuttering at the option of a new friend? “I mean, sure! Yes!” oh, never mind then. “I’ll see you later then! Oh! And check your pocket!” she runs out of the cafeteria while I do as she says, I find a piece of paper and unfold it; I find her name and a number written in it.

“… How does she do that?”

The last two classes of the day turn out to be remedial classes, and I’m thankful for that, otherwise I would just fail here. I make my way to the bus stop where I’ll have to board the school bus again.

Someone help me, please.

“Hey, Lemon!” I look behind me and find a strange red car. “It’s me!"

"Sorry lady, ‘me’ ain’t no name I ever heard of," I reply to the stranger.

"It’s mom!” well, that changes matters.

“Oh! Coming!” I make my way to the other side and enter the car, thankful that she decided to pick me up. “Hey mom, thanks for picking me up.”

“That’s okay sweetie, but you really need to remember what my car looks like,” my blush must be very visible with light skin, damn it.

“R-right.”

“So, did you have any trouble? What did you learn today? How many fingers am I holding?” the barrage of questions catches me off-guard, but I can only comply.

“Somewhat, well, things like math? And three. What is this? A pop quiz?” she sighs in relief and focuses on the road.

“Sorry son, just needed to see if you were fine, a new school can be very stressing!” I notice a hint of worry in her voice, but I suppose mothers are all like that.

“That’s okay, mom, I actually made a new friend today,” I have to say, this is nice, I talk to her about my day, I tell her about Pinkie and lunch -avoiding my incident with the Celestia- and how I need to get books of my own after some incident that needs no mention.

We get home and I find the table prepared, dad having cooked while mom was out, and I must admit it was… Peaceful. It has been ages since the last time I ate with my parents, and even if these people were colored differently, they are still the same people… With weird names. I’m too afraid to ask about that.

Hours later, I find myself in my room, staring at a cell phone that I actually have and forgot to pack; someone should revoke my teenager license, because I failed at obsessing over this electronic device.

“Wait a minute…!” I take out the paper Pinkie gave me earlier and I fiddle with the phone for a bit -touch screens are my worst enemy- and find myself typing a message. I send the message “Hi, it’s me, Pat,” and wait. Thankfully, that wait is short lived as I receive a reply nearly instantaneously.

“Hiyah!” I can’t help but crack a smile, texting with Pinkie Pie? Pinkie Pie lovers, eat your hearts out.

“So, what’s up?” I find myself looking at most of the messages as she sends me text after text in continuous manner, full with rambles about her day, but I find myself enjoying it, glad that she is this open with new friends, she is no Twilight, but it's a start.

“Wait..” my brain suddenly makes an idea, and I type the question and send it. “Hey Pinkie, you have other friends, right? Bet ya I can guess their names!”

“Ooh! You wanna prove you are psychic?” I write the names with ease, I can’t simply forget their names, not after uttering them more times that I could possibly manage.

“Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and -last and least- Fluttershy,” for some reason, Pinkie doesn’t reply right away, I feel like I may have overdone it, but thankfully, the little blinking light in my phone shines with a new message.

“Yes! You got them!”

“I’m just that good!” I reply proudly, whoever said that being obsessed over something is bad, has clearly not traveled to another dimension and met a being from said something.

The following text is unexpected, and I have to reread it multiple times before I can make it sink in, I shake my head in denial, it has to be a joke, right? I write an excusing text and send it to her.

“Hey Pinkie, I’m heading to bed, I’m tired. I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Goodnight.” she replies with a goodnight wish and dismisses herself. I get into bed myself and open the former message, I read it again and again, and it hasn’t changed one bit.