//------------------------------// // chapter 1 // Story: there goes ponyville..... // by YOitzGEEZUS //------------------------------// Author’s note: this is my first time to achieve such greatness… ..Shit’s gonna get magical, prepare your anus! Spike here, shutup author! I made the first two! dumbass...anywho, here we go! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As the pair moved up to the bedroom…spike and rarity were already embraced with each other’s lips, the purple and green dragon was holding his prize; for a small dragon he was awfully muscular. Going to the bedroom the marshmallow colored mistress looked up to her lover “spike, I just want you to know that I was simply crazy in love with you when I saw you come into ponyville…..you were and still are a very handsome dragon, I just want you to know that this will be special for me as well”. “Well I did save myself for you rarity; bitches all around this town want my sexy body” spike replied, looking deep in her beautiful sapphire eyes. Spike thought to himself, “oh yea, dat plot, imma nail this mare so hard, celestia is gonna get jealous” As they landed on the soft, comfy, mattress, rarity looked at spike’s large…..yogurt slinger…and gave him the most seductive look ever it would make molestia extremely jealous… “Spike, I’m going to buck you so hard, applejack will feel it.” The purple dragon, waiting so long in his life to receive this awesome pleasure, looking at the mare slowly go down his chest….kissing his body also. “I love you rarity” “You too spike” SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ He woke up, firstly noticing he was clutching his pillow between his thighs, sweating vigorously………dammit, it was so real. Leaving a sweat shadow behind, he stood up, cracked his neck, spine and fins, and headed downstairs. A pissed off, violet pony, was staring into spike’s soul, “SPIKE, WHY IS MY LAPTOP FULL OF RECENT HISTORY OF PLAYBRONY?!” Reality, hitting him like a brick. "umm...well..." "Well?" "Heh, you see....." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ One month ago.... Twilight and the rest of the mane six were going to canterlot, doing “important things” as Rainbow called it, pulling in caramel and big mac closer to her, spike rolling his eyes as applejack showed a face of disgust. The seven ponies were all ready, except twilight who, alphabetizing her socks by the color of the rainbow. As they waited for a carriage, spike was just gazing at the plot that was in front of him……….."Dat….ass"………..he was so busy enveloped at the thought of her pale plot, that he didn’t notice that they were all gone for almost an hour. Spike, then snapped back into reality by his own pool of drool…. scurried into the library….. “Wow” spike said “a whole place to myself, I wonder how long twilight and her friends will be in canterlot.” “It’s going to be lonely in here…….all by myself…..” “Myself…………” The once, little dragon, then had the biggest perverted smile known to dragon kind. He then turned on to twilight’s computer, waiting vigorously for the dam thing to start. “For celestia’s sake……..hurry up!” The computer screen became blank for a short period of time, then went that tune (u know that fuckin loud ass noise from windows? The DAAA DAA DUN DUUUN!!!) and scared the shit out of spike. (apparently, twilight left the sound on high.) Recovering from a mass heart attack….spike, his eyes bloodshot, legs shaking, clutching his heart, went up to his bed, went into fetal position, and went to sleep. THE NEXT DAY…. Ugh……….. The dragon woke up from a hellish nightmare, full of evil robots trying to kill him, yelling: DA DA DUN DUUUN! He shuddered at this; this was the scariest thing he had ever experienced……more than discord, more than evolved twilight, more than……he gasped…..Pinkie rage! No, it wasn’t as scary as pinkie rage. Nothing.is.worst.than.pinkie.rage………NEVER.EVER.NEVER.EVER. Like, four evers! It made spike extremely nauseous at his brain tried to COMPREHEND pinkie logic, which was extremely painful. Noticing that it was morning, he brushed his teeth, took a piss, a shower, and went down to the library. He noticed that the laptop was still on………and there was a large puddle of piss that was once where he shit(in this case pissed) himself, spike was extremely scared of that fucking demonic noise that hollered from that machine. He walked very slowly, creeping up to the volume button that was on the side of the computer. Then, just like that, it was over. Spike felt extremely proud that he owned the computer. The next thing he did was put on twilight’s apple pod (applejack’s cousin, apple jobs, had invented before he died of being murdered and turning into a decorative cupcake) and set the song to Eurobeat’s hit song: living tombstone remix, Discord. Bobbing his head to the music, he was preparing to make blue waffles, with a side of scrambled eggs and some milk (yea, milk) and some sausage links. (Yea, you heard me)… While cooking all this stuff, spike was singing the lyrics ‘’discord! Somtin!somtin!somtin! And sleeping in the middle of an afternoon, Discord! Somtin,somtin,somtin To make pain go awaaaaaay! (I don’t know the lyrics, don’t judge me) discorouououououooooooo!'' it was done, the monster of a breakfast was done.....the waffles: a mixture of cinnamon,blueberry jam, and batter. SWEET GEEZUS it looked good. The eggs: like jesus' halo did a shit and placed it on the plate, amazingly bright yellow, a bit of pepper, and some mozzerella cheese drizzled at the top. The sausages: oh god the sausages, like discord took a shit that was separated into awesome, brown, meaty, salty pieces of MEAT. spike almost......well...you know. at the awesomeness that was in front of him. ---------------------------- Updated