//------------------------------// // episode 4 part 4 tastes like.. surprise? // Story: Conversion Bureau: St George // by kryxel //------------------------------// TCB:SG 4/4 “Don’t just believe in yourself, Kryxel! Believe in the me the believes in you!” – Ray10k It was a typical day in St. George, nothing special about it. Just the quiet rustling of leaves on the wind, the occasional *clip-clop* of a pony going for a morning stroll, and sometimes the eardrum-piercing noise of a pony sneezing. Loudly. "ACHOOO! " Berry Punch was not having a good day. Due to her gift in the making of spirits, she was used to waking up feeling hung over, but today was different. For starters, she could quite clearly recall not having had anything to drink since that minor fiasco with Victor. Second, hangovers generally didn’t cause her to sneeze up miniature tornados. “ACHOOO!!!” Today however, she found herself not only feeling somewhat depressed due to an inexplicable feeling of loss on top of feeling simply ill, she also found her body making a serious attempt to blow all the clouds from the sky, simply by sneezing “ha, haaa…. ACHOOO!!!” The clouds in the sky were safe at the moment, on account of Berry deciding to stay in bed a little longer. The door to her room was less fortunate however, Berry’s last monstrous sneeze having ripped the light metal sheet clean from its frame and sending it hurtling down the hallway. An impressive feat, especially considering the fact that it normally only opened inward. The door continued it’s path down the hall, tumbling past a rather surprised looking Derpy Hooves. Curious how a door could just decide to get up and leave, not to mention the noise that had seemingly launched it, she decided to investigate. Carefully slipping through the corridor, never getting too far away from potential cover in case of more large metal objects being launched down the hallway, Derpy eventually found the source of the problem, in the form of Berry’s room missing a door, and looking suspiciously much as if a Pegasus had tried to trap a cyclone in it. The only things that seemed to be mostly intact was the bed, currently against the far side of the room, Berry still on it. Derpy trotted into the room, and walked over to the bed, worried for her friend. "Berry hon, are you okay?" She asked as she took a closer look at Ponyville’s resident winemaker. "Oh, for Celestia’s sake... I feel horrible... I’m Really under the weather." Berry Punch said, blowing her nose into a tissue from a box on her bed. Derpy frowned a little at the state of her friend. "Well, hang tight. I’ll go and get Colgate. She’ll know what to do," Derpy said, before she turned around and flew down the hall. Right as she left, Berry let loose another massive sneeze, almost sending Ditzy tumbling as she got caught in the stormlike gust of wind. ------------ Derpy soon found Colgate, walking near the garage. Happy at having found somepony who could help, Derpy called her name. Colgate turned around, giving Derpy a kind smile. "Hey Ditzy. What’s up?" Derpy touched down next to the azure Unicorn. "Colgate, Berry may have the E-flu. She was sneezing up a hurricane a few moments ago," Derpy said. However, by the time she had mentioned the word “E-flu,” Colgate had already ran off towards the main building. ------------ “Give us your hungry, your lost, your ill. We shall feed them, guide them, heal them.” With these somewhat infamous words, Princess Celestia had opened the first conversion center of the Bureau, referring to how some humans had already described Equestria as a paradise. In most ways, that comparison wasn’t wrong. Equestria had plenty for all, not to mention the fact that anyone who wanted to could be part of it. The problem however, was getting there since humans couldn’t survive the influence of magic, hence the creation of the Bureau. What few had expected however, was the massive scope of influence the pony staff of the bureau’s had on the world. On the surface, it all seemed good and without downside. Smog layers being peeled away as Pegasi soared the skies, forests and meadows flowing outwards as Earth ponies walked the barren lands, feats of magic making life easier as Unicorns were eager to lend a hoof (or horn). The big downside became apparent much later, when it was found out that somehow, several strains of relatively normal viruses had managed to not only survive in the body of a pony, but also interfere with the flow of said body’s magic. Illness in Equestria was a rare thing, and generally a side effect of ignoring one’s limits. The new strains of viruses however operated under earth’s rules, meaning that every now and then ponies on earth would find themselves get terribly ill without (as far as they were concerned) any rhyme or reason. So far, aside from some random mutations thereof, there were two “big” diseases making ponies miserable during their stay on earth. The first was called “Pegapox”, and as its name implied only affected Pegasi, grounding them while generally making them feel terrible for days, a variation of the normal Pegapox in equestria The other disease was a little more insidious. Officially named Equestrius Influenza, it quickly gained notoriety as E-flu, a disease that could affect any being with magic. For a Pegasus, it meant that while they could still fly, they could no longer touch the clouds, instead passing straight through them. For a Unicorn, their spells would get seriously messed up, often resulting in simple levitation spells becoming unintentional weapons of mass destruction. For Earth ponies, the disease would leave them weakened and stunt the growth of anything they tended to. What all three races had in common though, was that the disease would leave them unable to use their special gift, while at the same time making them sneeze. Loud, and often. ------------ Colgate just got around the last corner of the hallway to Berry’s room, when she was blown of her hooves by a sudden gust of wind, only barely managing to pull up a barrier around herself before crashing into a wall. She quickly got back on her hooves and charged down the hallway, silently praying her shield would be enough to keep her from being blown back again. When she reached Berry’s room, the first thing she did was to make sure she had something to grab a hold on, before turning to Berry and starting a diagnostic spell. "So, doc... What’s the diagnosis?" Berry said with a weak chuckle. "Well, you do have E-flu. You need to stay in bed and drink lots of liquids. Also, you will get some antibiotics in the soup. As it is, however, you cannot work today. I’m sorry," Colgate said softly. "N-no work? But who else has the s-skills to take over the painkillers?" Berry said, struggling to hold her sneeze back. *thump* Colgate’s ears perked up. “Did you hear that?” Berry shrugged. “Hear what?” *thump* “There! There it was again!” “I heard it too. Maybe the ventilation is acting up?” Berry barely finished speaking, when suddenly a vent dropped to the floor, startling all the ponies in the room. Colgate silently gestured to Berry to stay put, and carefully approached the now open ventilation shaft, cautiously peeking inside. Suddenly, something white and yellow with purple eyes dropped out of the shaft. “Err, heee~ey?” ---------------- Sales paced patently outside the Doctor’s office. Earlier, the Doctor had asked him to drop by, for a quick talk before conversion. At the moment however, there was a note on the door. Salem gave a bored glance. “At the moment, I am out. I’m at the local hypermarket, needed to get a few things. I’ll be back soon.” Sales sighed. He had already been waiting for an hour and was getting a bit tired of it. Having nothing better to do, he started pacing up and down the hallway again. A few minutes later, the Doctor finally returned, carrying two big boxes. According to the labels, one box was full of apples, while the other was heavy with bananas. "Ah, Sales, good to see you! Could you open the door please?" He asked, craning his neck around the boxes to look at Sales. "Uh, sure," Sales said, opening the door and letting the madman with the boxes go in first. The Doctor sat down at his desk and put the boxes behind his chair, before turning to Sales. "So, you are becoming a pony today. How does it make you feel that you are finally completing the dream your parents started for you?" He said. Before Sales could answer, he briefly turned his attention to the boxes. "Do you want a banana? An apple maybe?" "An apple please. I don’t really like bananas," Sales said, a bit confused at the sudden switch. "Don’t like... bananas. Interesting..." the Doctor said, tossing him an apple. “I mean, I’ve met plenty of people, but hardly ever anyone who didn’t like bananas. Any reason you don’t like them?” "I just never really liked the taste. Anyway, I’m glad that I can finally take a step forward. My parents were, buried in Equestria. Soon, I can talk to them again." The Doctor reached into a drawer of his desk. "True, but let’s just chat for a moment before you head in to be changed. Fancy a game of chess?" -------------- It had taken a minute, but Colgate had finally managed to calm Berry down enough to control her sneezing again. Having her hooves free once more, she turned to the white Pegasus. “What was the big idea, dropping in like that!? For a second I thought you were some kind of hostile alien!” Surprise awkwardly rubbed her neck. “Rei made it sound easy, so I just wanted to try it. Guess you need feet to hang upside down.” Colgate gave her a flat look. Surprise got up, still a bit winded after being sneezed into the wall ten times in a single minute. “Anyhow, I overheard you saying something about the sedatives not being ready for today’s conversion, so maybe I can make it up to you guys. I am sort of the field doctor for the wonderbolts, so I know a thing or two about sedatives. Shall I mix them, as an apology for scaring you?” Colgate raised an eyebrow. The offer was a Royal gift, but Surprise had a tendency to... get creative, something that could spell disaster for a process as delicate as conversion. On the other hoof, at the moment Surprise was the best they had, and the central bureau tended to get difficult if the daily conversion quota weren’t met, so in the end Colgate realized she had little choice. “Alright then. Until Berry is feeling better, you are in charge of sedatives. Now, in the lab you’ll find all you need, along with a manual. Promise me you’ll follow that manual TO. THE. LETTER. Ok?” Surprise gave a crisp salute. “SIR YES SIR, MADAM!” -------------- "Knight to rook 2," the Doctor said as he moved his knight. He took out the rook that was not castling his king, opening the way to Kital’s side of the board. Sales looked at the board for a moment, before moving a pawn forward. "So, what about you? Why are you not... ponyfied?" Sales asked. "Well, the time isn’t right yet. One day, it will be. Not today however,” the Doctor replied as he moved a pawn of his own. ----------- Surprise was in the lab, mixing various chemicals into a potent sedative, strong enough (and, in fact intended) to knock out a teenaged child. As she stirred the mix, she gave it a quick sniff. The scent was strong enough to make her gag, as she quickly backed away. “Eeeww, that must taste horrible!” Surprise scratched her head. Ponification was supposed to be a happy thing, but a taste as bad as that would surely put a damper on the joy. “No way that will be any fun.” As she thought, she recalled Colgate telling her to stick to the instructions, and she had. However, as it was, there was much room for improving the sedative, or at least the taste thereof. So, without giving it much more thought, Surprise reached for a small basket of strawberries, and proceeded to crush them to paste. Humming a merry little tune, she put the paste in a pan and used a Bunsen burner to cook it into a powder, which she quickly added to the chemicals. Taking another whiff of the concoction, she grabbed some honey and some sugar, added them as well, and stirred one last time. Smelling the mixture one last time, Surprise nodded in satisfaction. “Smells great! Well, with that out of the way, time to get started!” -------------- The Doctor checkmated Sales, and grinned. "Sorry. Good game though. Now, it is about time to get you converted. Go down that hall there, and look for the door that says ‘authorized personnel only.’ The other Doctor should be waiting for you there." Sales nodded, and started walking down the hall towards the door. He was soon flanked by the pony Doctor, who gave him an encouraging smile. "Well, everything is set up and all ready. Just take off your clothes and lay down on the table once you are inside.” Sales nodded and entered the room. Inside, he greeted Colgate and Surprise, who were both doing the final preparation for his conversion. He quickly undressed, and tried to find a comfortable way to sit on the cold metal table. Colgate looked at him, a faint smile on her muzzle. “Ready?” “Yes,” Sales replied as Colgate levitated a cup into his hand. He swirled the contents for a moment, before slamming down all of the dark liquid in one single gulp. “Huh… strawberries. I thought it would be gr-” *thud* Colgate and the Doctor look at each in confusion, until suddenly looks of comprehension and terror cross their features. As one they turn to look at Surprise. “What? Have you guys ever smelled that stuff? Terrible, I tell you!” ///////////////// Ray10k here. First of all, Yes. Yes, I love Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. Second, I royally suck at chess. Kryxel here. Note: pegapox is a real epidemic in equestria. as seen in the story "dashes, dots, and pegasus spots." (google it!) the E-flu however is mine. what happens next has been passed by my friend Sales and he knows it is coming. he says it would be fine. also (shameless plug) read his story! found here