//------------------------------// // Apple, red or rotten? // Story: Draconic Troubles // by Davesknd //------------------------------// My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro. WARNING! Due to the nature of this chapter, the writer has to point out that the second most awesome male character of the show will be severely abused in the following pages. The writer does not support the open abuse of Big Macintosh! He does, however, find it hilarious! Big Macintosh was an earth pony. But both parts of the definition didn't do him justice. Years of working on a farm, ploughing, bucking apples and pulling carts made him much more solid looking that the average planet. Secondly, he was definitely a stallion in every sense of the word. Grown up, calm and mindful. He avoided talking too much, enjoyed the simple parts of life and had the practical kind wisdom. Over the last year, he had seen a vengeful goddess returning from banishment, his sister leaving to fight a dragon, his home getting eaten by a swarm of... he still wasn't sure and Caramel loosing the seeds for Winter Wrap Up. None of this made him raise his voice. Now, he was screaming... "APPLEJACK!" "What's the matter Big Mac?" asked Applejack, galloping towards her brother with Twilight and Pinkie behind her. The three had just met up and told Applejack roughly why they needed the best, her orchards could deliver, when they heard an unfamiliar scream. Applebloom, Scootaoo and Sweetie Belle looked at them. "I don't know!" Bloom said, looking at her brother. He was motionless, clearly not breathing; his eyes close to popping out. "All we did was asking him how to lure out virgins!" Sweetie Belle explained. "Bloom said he knew a lot about them!" Scootaloo added. "Since he goes out at night and watches them! Sometimes for hours... usually when he is all alone and nobody can see him." Applebloom explained "And sometimes he comes home smiling from ear to ear! I saw it all! Once he even whistled a little tune as he came home!" A dozen eyes were pointed at the red stallion now. Earlier that day, in the headquarters of Equestria's finest crusaders: „Everyone understood the plan? " „Yah! " „Of course! " „Good! First we sum up all the information we got, then make our way to the library, get ourselves some equipment and…" „We know that already! If fact, we just talked about it, drew a picture and I even came up with a few lyrics for the song. " Sweetie Belle interrupted Scootaloo. "Yes, but we always do that." Scootaloo answered "Prepare the plan, draw a picture, you come up with the lyrics and then we loudly explain what we will do." "But why? It doesn't make a lot of sense once you think about it. We could just go..." "GIRLS!" Applebloom stressed "We have more important things to do that question how we go about our crusading!" "Yes! Now, what do we know about dragons? Before we set our plan in motion, which won't be talked about again." The filly Pegasus asked. "Well... they can breathe fire!" "They eat... everything that they like, I guess." Applebloom offered. "They work at libraries!" "I don't think that that is a common dragon thing, Sweetie." Scootaloo stated "Oh, I heard that they eat virgins. At least once a year!" Belle offered after a moment of thought. "What's a virgin?" Applebloom asked. "That thing in the sky! Next to that lion and the filly with the scales!" Sweetie added, still remembering her time as Cutie Mark Crusader Astrologer. "OHHH! So they eat stars too?" Scootaloo asked. "Well, I saw Spike eat some gemstones... and Twilight said something about stars being like the sun, but far away." Applebloom explained. "AH, so Spike eats parts of a planet and when he grows up, he'll eat other planets!" Scootaloo concluded. "No wonder they get so big! So... how are we supposed to get a star down here?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Well, Princess Celestia is supposed to raise the sun with her horn! So we just need YOU to do it!" Scootaloo decided, pointing at Sweetie Belle. "I don't think I can do it..." Sweetie admitted. "Wait! I got another idea!" Apple Bloom said "Remember when that boasting unicorn was in town?" "Yes?" the others asked in unison. "Well, Snips and Snails lured that Ursa-thingie into town, right?" Applebloom went further "And I remember seeing a picture of them in the book... like, they used to be a formation too!" "AH, I see!" so we get that Ursa-thingie to give to the dragon, so we can study him while he eats it?" Scootaloo asked. "No, that story was pretty clear about virgins!" Sweetie stated. "So, we just have to lure that virgin-thing out of the sky!" Applebloom said. "But how do we get that virgin down?" Scootaloo asked. "Maybe Big Macintosh knows something! He doesn't talk much, but he is really smart and likes watching the stars and stuff!" Applebloom suggested. "Good idea!" Back in the present: "I do not!" Big Macintosh insisted "I never would! That ain't true!" "Mac... I won't judge you." Applejack said with forced calmness "You are a stallion in your best years and it was always a bit weird that you didn't get straight with some filly yet. But doing stuff like that ain't polite!" "But I didn't!" Macintosh insisted "I never would!" "WOW!" Pinkie Pie suddenly yelled "That doubles the amount of different words I've ever heard him say!" She was ignored. "Look, Mac... I got a ton of good friends; we can sure as sugar, match you up with at nice mare, so you don't have to... do that..." "AJ, I am kind of seeing someone!" The stallion interrupted. "What? Who? And does she know about your... tendencies?" "I have no tendencies!" "Seriously, Macintosh, I mean, what would granny say if she knew about it?" "I think granny went with him one night!" Applebloom added. "WHAT?" Applejack yelled. "I tell you, that ain't true!" Big Mac stressed "And I never would do that to the mayor!" "HATTRICK!" Pinkie yelled. "OH! You met her, doing it, didn't you?" Applebloom interrupted "That's so romantic!" "WHAT?" a choir of voices asked. "Bloom? You out of your little mind?" Applejack asked in shock "My brother is watching the fillies in their sleep, finds one silly enough to like that and now my sister think it romantic?" "Sounds like a page out of that Twili..." "THIS BOOK MUST NOT BE NAMED!" Pinkie started, just to be interrupted by a very angry Twilight "IT RUINED MY LIFE! I AM NAMED TWILIGHT SPARKLE! THIS BOOK ROBBED MY NAME OF ALL DIGNITY!" the unicorn started to cry slightly. "Fillies?" Applebloom asked "I was asking him if he knew about virgins... you know... that star-thingie in the sky!" Suddenly an aura of awkward understanding surrounded Sweet Apple Acres for a minute that felt like an hour. "I'm sorry, Big Mac." Applejack spoke first "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions." "Is all right, AJ." Macintosh answered, still slightly shaken "I'll go and work off some steam on the cider press. And then do some damage to the result." "Erm... Mac... the mayor?" Applejack asked, blushing lightly. The stallion stopped and looked back. "Eeyup!" he stated with a wink and left. "WOW!" Pinkie cheered "Almost had it fivi... quinti... oh, you know what I mean! By two words!" "But girls, why do you want to lure down the Virgo constellation?" Twilight asked after reciting a short mantra that included something about "vamponies" and "not sparkling". "We want to feed it to the dragon!" Applebloom answered. "First: Dragons don't eat star formations!" Twilight stated calmly "Second: I thought you didn't want a dragon-feeding cutie mark. Spike is still at the library, if you changed your mind." "We don't want to feed him, primarily!" Sweetie Belle explained "We want him to stay still, while we study him!" "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER DRAGON EXPLORERS!" The three yelled in unison. The small headache, Twilight had expected suddenly erupted into an outright migraine. But there was one thing that still remained dominant right now. "Are you going to sing?" she asked coldly. "No." "GOOD!" she said and added "If you want to know more about dragons, why don't you look for information in the library. They talk, so it's not as if nopony ever asked them." "Nah, we'll go all Crocodile Wrestle on him!" Scootaloo announced, hitting her hoofs together. "You really want to approach a dragon in the way of that Horsetralian documenter?" Applejack asked uncertain. "Well, maybe not wrestle him, but we want some conclusive data about... stuff!" Applebloom stressed "We cannot let this opportunity pass!" "Crusaders, AWAY!" Scootaloo announced and the three fillies disappeared in a cloud of dust. Twilight looked after them. "I think the guy who came up with the four horses of the apocalypse missed the count by one." Applejack said. "Oh, don't worry!" Pinkie reassured her "When I throw our Welcome Dragon Party, they will be too busy having fun." She grinned "They have an even shorter attention span than... TWICHY TAIL!" After a short look at the appendix in question, all three ponies instantly hid under a tree close to them. They heard an impact close by and Pinkie gave a sigh of relief. All three looked in the direction of the impact. Twilight managed to speak first: "Princess?"