What a wonderful day. The sun shone, and no clouds hung in the sky. The perfect day! I span through the air, gliding over the pockets of air currents which sent me soaring even higher into the sky. The wind in my mane, there was only one other thing better than it, and he lay far below me. I dived down, towards the yellow car parked on a cliff edge. Lying on top of its bonnet there was a human, quietly dozing off in the warm sun. I spread my wings wide as I approached, using them as breaks to decrease my speed quickly. I came to halt in the air just above him. I flapped slower and slower, letting myself drop quietly. I landed with my legs on either side of him, and I softly lowered myself on top of his heaving chest and lay against his warm body.
His hand travelled up to my head, and stroked my multicoloured mane smoothly. Now this was the only thing better than flying! I rubbed my head against his chest to show him I liked his hands in my hair. His grip in my hair tightened so his fingers began to comb through it and not just float over it, the sudden change felt amazing. My entire body seemed to quiver for a moment, and then it relaxed completely. My weight fully dropped onto him, but it didn’t even faze him. He simply continued stroking my hair, I could hear his heartbeat beneath his thin shirt. It was the most soothing sound I’ve ever heard in my life. And with that sound soothing me, I dozed off as well.
I wake, its dark, it’s a lot colder. I look around and see that night has fallen fast. I look up to see Tom looking down at me asleep on his chest. “Hello sleeping beauty.” I blushed, hoping it wouldn’t be seen in this dark. “Come on, let’s get going. We’ve got a couple of hours before we get back to ponyville.” We both stood and entered the car. Escaping from the cold. Once in the seats, I leant over and kissed him on the cheek.
“Let’s get home quick ok? We’ve done enough sleeping for now I think.” At first I had never said things like that to him, worried I would scare him off. But after three months of being together, I realised that those comments were what I really meant and saying them was just me being myself.
His hand travelled over to my chin, he lifted it up to look at him and kissed me. We sat there for a few minutes, just letting our lips do the communicating. His told me that he loved me, and mine told him the very same, and both said that they eagerly wanted to get home... to bed. He reversed the car in an arc, taking us away from the cliff edge and towards the winding road down the side of the hill.
“Do you know why that spot is so special to me?” Tom asked, while keeping his eyes on the dark narrow road. I looked at his face, was he being serious or setting himself up for a joke as he so often did. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
“No, why is it?” I asked almost childlike as I looked up into his face. He turned his head towards me for a moment,
“It’s the place I realised I wanted to be with you no matter what.” I giggled, I hardly ever do, too girly for me. But yet whenever I did, it was Tom who was causing me to do it.
We were reaching the bottom of the mountain path and beginning our journey across the dirt track road all the way back to Ponyville. A large rock stands just at the base of the slope we’re travelling down. Something springs out from behind it. Black. Dark. Large. A screech of tires. The car tips on its side. Tom screams my name in fear. “RAINB”- I woke up, springing up to a sitting position. I was panting as if id flown for days.
The picture still lay beside me looking up with glee. Toms shirt clung to me drenched in my own sweat. I got out of bed and travelled to the bathroom, I flicked on the light and the bright bulb showed me no mercy as it blinded and burned my eyes. I went over to the sink and looked at my face in the mirror. I looked terrified, my eyes were gaunt with bags hanging beneath them. I ran the water cold for a moment, and splashed some into my face to cool me down after so much distress. Afterwards I leant against the basin and looked into the mirror, not really seeing my reflection but just thinking.
That was the first time id dreamt about the accident. I had played it through countless times in my head during my daylight wanderings, but this was the first time I had DREAMT about it. Something had changed in the memory however, I had always remembered it as Tom skidding on the ground and just losing control, but in the dream something had sprung into the way. Just like Tom had said. What was it? Just a black shape, I racked my brains to recall the night everything had changed. But like any other dream, the details began to slip away, even if they were based in fact.
“R-Rainbow... uhhhmmm are you awake?” although the voice was quiet, the sudden break of silence still made me jump. I peered around the open door of the bathroom, the bedroom door also stood agape. And standing in the centre of the doorway was Fluttershy, looking concerned and worried. “I’m so sorry for intruding... but the girls said we should have someone looking after you tonight seeing as... tomorrow is... I’m sorry... when I came in you were already asleep... and...I’m sorry...” The yellow pony turned away and headed back to the living room. She didn’t leave, she approached the sofa which she had obviously used as a bed, positioned perfectly to look into my room if needed.
I followed my friend into the large room. Tomorrow? Oh dear Celestia, out of the shock of the dream I had forgotten. Tomorrow was the funeral. I watched as Fluttershy slowly and delicately folded her legs beneath her and lay back down on the sofa’s many cushions. She looked up at me with the same look of worry on her face. I could tell she was worried if I was upset that she had come in without asking. I came over and sat against the sofa, just beneath Fluttershy’s head. She laid her chin on top of my mane, and the sound of her breath calmed my mind.
“I... dreamt about him, about that night...” I choked, tears no longer came when I thought of him. I had no more tears to give, no matter how much my soul wanted them to be released my body just couldn’t produce them.
Fluttershy sighed sadly, “I understand... I can’t begin to understand how much you must be hurting right now.” She stroked my mane again, her gentleness and kindness reminded me of the way Tom would comfort me when I was sad. She was my oldest friend, and she was just who I needed at this point of my life. She looked at the coffee table just beside us, there sat a picture of Tom and me.
We were at the gala, his white button shirt undone to the second top button, and his coat billowing out behind him. I stood next to him, holding him close to me as we both laugh at some joke I can’t remember. “You, know... he really was handsome. No matter the difference in species. He really was the perfect match for you Rainbow.” Was she trying to get me to open up? To let me give in to the grief that had been slowly gnawing at the corners of my mind for the past week?
“I-I-I......” I couldn’t say it. Fluttershy stroked my head again and cooed softly, calming my mind as I began to shake.
“Go on, it will help. It might not seem like it now, but it will help. You can do it. Say it Rainbow.” I gulped, trying to keep a hold of myself.
“I... I MISS HIM FLUTTERSHY!” the floodgates opened, and finally my tears returned. I buried my head into my forehooves on the floor. Suddenly out of reach, Fluttershy slid off of the sofa and held me as I bawled my eyes out.
“I know... I know...” her voice was beginning to crack, maybe out of her own grief, or maybe out of sorrow for me, I didn’t know. I kept weeping, trying to speak. Suddenly my voice had a mind of its own, and I was unable to stop it.
“I miss his voice, his face, the way he’d pick me up and hold me without warning just because he could! I miss his laugh, his warmth and his... and his... I JUST WANT HIM BACK WITH ME! WHY?! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO?!”
Fluttershy was now crying on my back. The two of us stayed there and wept for a long time, showing how Tom had truly belonged here, because his absence from this world was tearing so many ponies’ hearts apart. The funeral was fast approaching, and as we sat there in the dimly lit living room and cried, we slowly fell asleep on the floor.
When I woke up in the morning, I was in my bed. The sheets, warm around me, the picture of Tom looking back at me from the pillow to my side. “Fluttershy?” Had she even been here? Or had I dreamt it all? I crossed the room and came into the living room, no one was there. The sofa looked pristine, was I losing my mind? I took a step forward and felt my hoof clink against something. I looked down to see a tray carrying food and drink. A wheatgrass sandwich, a large glass of milk, and a piece of paper. I picked up the scrap of paper and saw Fluttershy’s writing.
“Rainbow, I needed to go out early to sort out the last few details for later today. I took you back to bed before I left and left you this food, you NEED to eat okay?! Please, I don’t want you in trouble after everything that’s happened. I’ll see you at the church at eleven o’clock.
I’m so sorry.
Fluttershy”