//------------------------------//
// Guess who's back? 
// Story: Shoot For The Stars 
// by Burritoburger 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 27: Guess who's back?

I was walking Lightning's house, when I saw a crowd of ponies gathered in one area, a mobile stage in front of them.
Oh god no...
(This can't be.)
I walked over to the stage and looked up front.
"Surely none of you can best the power of the great and powerful TRIXIE!" An annoying voice cheered.
(GOD NO! WHY THE FUCK IS SHE HERE?!)
{Oh boy, Anger's pissed.}
Twilight walked up.
"Trixie, I don't think you understand that I bested you last time. Don't make me do it again." She said to Trixie.
"Hmph. Only you would think you could actually beat Trixie in a magic battle." She said to her.
"Actually, everypony saw it." Twilight argued.
"Oh yeah? Face me, then!" Trixie said. Twilight proceeded and walked up on stage. Trixie smirked.
"What are you going to do?" She asked.
"Absolutely nothing. I know that your magic is so terrible, I don't even have to lift a hoof." She said, and quite a few ponies from the crowed laughed. Trixie growled.
"I'll show you terrible!" Her horn glowed, and she shot a bright blue beam at Twilight, sending her flying.
"Whoa!" I yelled, and shot up, catching her. How? I don't really know. Reflexes, I guess.
"And there's plenty more where that came from!" Trixie said. I could see most of the ponies in the crowd scowled. I looked around and smirked. I picked up a nearby pinecone and threw it at her. It bounced off of her head, and she caught it.
"Now watch in awe as the great and powerful Trixie will eat pinecones for your amusement!"  I called, stepping on stage, mimicking Trixie's voice. More ponies started laughing from this.
"You!" She said, and levitated me off the ground, and made me face her. "I hear you saved Equestria." She said.
"Twice." I corrected.
"Well! You can't beat the unstoppable magic of the great and powerful Trixie!" She said, and shot me with an even more powerful beam. I was launched into a tree, and broke it's trunk.
"You see? Nobody can stop me!" She boasted.
"Um, excuse me." I said, slowly floating above her head. She turned around.
"What in-" She started.
"It seems you threw Peace into a tree." I said.
"Who's Peace?" She asked.
"One of my clones." I said, and my three other clones appeared from behind the stage.
"How did you-" She started, but was at a loss of words.
"Listen, if you want to waste your life showing off your stupid magic tricks, maybe eating that pinecone will become your 'special talent'." Honestly, she was a bit more freaked out than I thought.
"B-But that's impossible!" She said. I chuckled.
"You haven't even met my friends." I replied.
"How did you do that?!" She asked.
"I'm stopping the conversation there. Listen, you want real magic? Then don't use it on pathetic shows like this." I said.
"My magic isn't pathetic!" She argued.
(Wow, we freaked her out so bad, she said 'my' instead of 'Trixie'.)
"I didn't call your magic pathetic, I called your show pathetic. Big difference. Listen, you are probably amazing at magic, but you need to use it right. Twilight could help you out." I gestured to the purple unicorn, who was still a bit dazed from Trixie's attack. My clones came back in, they basically showed off enough.
"Y-you think my magic is amazing?" She asked. "Nopony has ever said that about me..." She trailed off.
(This is getting really awkward, really fast.)
"Again, Twilight could help you with that. Now I need to see a friend." I flew off. I soon landed at Lightning's house, and knocked on the door. No answer.
Hm...
{I believe they are in the Everfree forest.}
How do you know that?
{I tapped in your memories. They mentioned it once on the way back home.}
Huh. Thanks.
I flew over towards the Everfree forest. Heh, Everfree. The dude we killed recently. I landed at the front of it, and entered. I looked around for any kind of sign of them. I then saw an orange tail, along with a red and black tail. I snuck over and ruffled the bushes.
"Hey!" I said. Lightning and D turned around, and I saw blood on their faces.
"Shh!" They commanded. I was a bit startled by the blood, but got used to it. They looked back over.
"What is it?" I whispered. I saw a deer on the other side of the bush. They tackled it at the same time, and started chewing the crap out of it, getting blood all over them.
I think I'm gonna puke...
(Don't do it!)
Lightning was chewing on the leg of the poor creature, and had some noticeable canine teeth.
"Oh yeah. I'm a omnivore like D, too." He grabbed another leg and handed it to me. "Want some?" He asked.
"Ugh. No thanks." I said. He shrugged, and I looked over at D, who recently chomped on the brain.
"Oh god!" I turned around into a bush and threw up so much. Just the look of them eating something that is similar to our kind.
"Ugh...okay. Let me show you how it's done." I said, and hid in a bush nearby another deer. Where the hell do they all come from? When the time was just right, I jumped out, and tried slashing it with my knife. But I missed and fell on my face as it galloped off. D and Lightning started laughing hysterically.
"You suck just about as much as Giro in bowling!" He said. While he wasn't there, Bumble explained the date to him.
"Is that a challenge?" I asked, getting up. "Because I can beat your ass so fast, Rainbow Dash would be impressed." I smirked. He laughed and held up his hooves.
"Watch out guys, we're dealing with a badass over here." He said. D walked over, with another part of the deer that I couldn't even tell what it was, due to it being covered in blood.
"You sure you don't want some? This is really good shit right here." She said.
"I just barfed my stomach up, and you want me to eat that?" I asked.
"Good point." She stuck her face in it, making disgusting noises with her mouth.
"So, despite what I just saw, how have you two been doing?" I asked.
"Uh...we got hooked?" Lightning said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah. Watch." He proceeded to kiss D, even though her face was covered in blood. Anger appeared in front of me just to puke in another bush.
"Jesus! You two need to act normal around here! Pones are gonna freak out if they see you with blood covered faces!" I said. They released the kiss.
"What? She's just like me, only she was ruled by someone before." Lightning said.
"That doesn't excuse you for eating our own kind." I said.
"Hey, that was a deer, not a pony. Besides, you're about to get married with the only pony with mental disabilities in Ponyville." He argued. I swept behind him and put my knife across his neck.
"You got a problem with that?" I asked.
"Whoa, chill dude." He said. I sighed, and put my knives away.
"Sorry, I'm still tired from the walk home. I couldn't sleep at all." I said.
"No problem." He said, and continued to eat the deer. I looked around, and saw a bunny hopping on by.
"Watch this." I said. Knowledge took over, and I threw the knife with perfect precision, impaling the bunny's head, and it was stabbed into the ground. I walked over and grabbed my knife again. Anger was already back in my head.
"Enjoy." I said. They rushed over to the bunny, hording it.
"Whoa, you two are insane." I said.
"We never got a bunny before, and they taste awesome." Lightning said, chewing on his half of the bunny. I shook my head.
"I shouldn't get into the sport of this, Fluttershy will kill me when she finds out that I killed that bunny." I said. "See ya." I walked away, and left the two to feast on their meal. I flew by Sugracube Corner, and decided to get some muffins for Derpy. I looked at the sign, and it said,
Sorry! Closed due to scheduled maintinence!
I frowned.
That's weird.
{Yes, there has never been maintenance, and they never warned ahead of time. Maybe you should-}
They spelled 'maintenance' wrong.
{Yeah. Sure. Ignore whatever I just said, because it never matters.}
I shrugged and walked away, when I heard a scream from inside. I tackled the door and broke in, running into the room where the scream came from. I stopped and stared at Pinkie Pie, who was forecfully thrusting her marehood into Muffin's stallionhood. Speaking of him, he's strapped to a bed. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Ruby all stopped and looked at me.
"Uh, did I miss something?" I asked.
"Hey Stargazer! You nearly missed all the *hic* fun." Ruby slurred, grabbing me.
"Wait, are you still drunk?" I asked.
"Yes, but I'm not! I'm still in heat!" She said. I looked up and frowned at the author.
...What? I made a pinkie promise.
"You know you can make it so the promise was never there, right?" I asked.
...Oh yeah. The pinkie promise was never made, and Pinkie Pie is out of heat.
Pinkie Pie looked down and yelped.
"Ahh! What was that?" She asked.
Rarity and Ruby aren't drunk.
"What happened?" They both asked.
"Nothing. Go home." I said, untying Muffin. They walked out, except for Ruby. She stayed there, waiting for Muffin.
"I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds to make out on that there bed. Alright? I'm going home." I said, and walked out of the room.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
TONS OF RPT!





This has been you daily robot unicorn attackception by Burritoburger.
COME AT ME BROS!

Also some info on Shoot For The Regularity.
I will update it more than Shoot for the Stars: Down to Earth, but I won't update it as much as Shoot For the Stars. Speaking of Down to Earth, I might update it a little more. Depends on if ultrasponge is up to writing another chapter with me.
Also, OC's are still ripe for picking! While it looks like I have a ton, I will probaqbly accept any and all OC's that people will want to submit. Until next time,
Burritoburger.