//------------------------------// // The Worst Story In The World, Part One // Story: The Worst Story In The World // by The-darkevil101 //------------------------------// The day was nice and sunny here at canterlot gardens, and one certain statue was not a happy statue. That statue, my enemies, was the statue of Discord, bitches. He sat there, grumbling inside the statue, thinking of his revenge against those six little whores, I mean, ponies. He sat there, and sat there, and sat there, and jacked-off there, and sat there until finally he got an idea. He was phone. He decided to just simply burst out of the stone prison by himself. After all, Celestia's magic was the weakest in all of Equestria. So with little, no wait, no effort whatsoever, he burst out of the stone prison, and stretched. "I'm free, bitches!" he began. "Now prepare yourself ponyville, for my cock pimp-hand will rain down on all of your women!" He then took a step forward and shouted above where all could hear him, "I AM THE ULTIMATE PIIIIIIIMMMMMP!" Now moving on to Ponyville, where Discord will get all teh bitches where there is currently a massive party going on at SugarCube Corner with the mane six and tons of other random town people. Who won't get any screentime. Currently the party people were having a dance-off tournament and Pinkie was blowing cock everyone away with her ecstatic dance moves. When she finished her routine, she called out to Spike and challenged him to dance next. The other five mares were cheering him on at the other side of the dance floor, which was fully decorated with glowing lights, party streamers, and a flashy disco-ball. Spike started first with doing the robot, which got a few chuckles, then got deeper by break-dancing and started doing the worm. Then he really got his groove on. He did a flip, then landed softly on his head, (It's a cartoon), and began spinning on it, which got everyone chanting: "Go, Go, Go, Go, Go, Ho, Go!" He then finished by lifting himself up with his hand and then put his legs up in the air and then held it. It looked something like this: "Beat that, Pinkie." spoke Spike, as he waved to the crowd, and then stood back up on his feet, ready to watch Pinkie's next move. But before she could do more wrong even begin to dance, Discord busted through the roof of the building and then landed between the two. He smiled as everyone gasped at his godly figure at him, and he then flipped up his middle fingers at the crowd, getting even more gasps and boos. He waited a few seconds before speaking. "What's up, hoes?" he splashed out at the stunned crowd; the mane six finally stepped towards him. Twilight spoke first. "Discord! What are you doing here?" "Oh me?" said a (un)surprised Discord. "I just thought I'd stop by to see my six favorite people in the whole world!" AppleJack came forward next. "Why yer' just here to cause more chaos, aren't ya?" spoke AppleJack. "Oh up yours, you retarded apple-eating mule!" snapped Discord. Pinkie Pie stepped forward quickly and retaliated. "Hey! Don't insult my friends! You big meanie!" Discord did the unthinkable. He slowly walked towards Pinkie, and then pimp-slapped her hard in the face. Pinkie fell back, hurt and surprised by the sudden attack. But her friends didn't have to think twice before jumping at Discord. He then thrusted his arms out at the five retarded mares; which sent them flying backwards into the wall. This time however, the other partygoers decided to help the mane six and began to angrily swarm towards Pimp Daddy Discord. "Oh no you bitches don't." He then started to spin in place, then started to spin faster, faster, and even faster as his body began to form a tornado around him and he released the tornado by thrusting his arms outward at the angry crowd. Then all began to get caught in it, and they started to have a delicious orgy in mid-air started to fly through the roof of the building, taking the roof and themselves into the air. Discord then stopped the tornado and then made the crowd fall down in a straight line and then he revved up his pimp-hand and then in very quick succession started to pimp slap every single person that fell down with his pimp hand, and as they did, they hit the wall across from Discord with such great force they blew a freaking hole in the wall and fell out into the street, confused as to what just happened. "Phew! Now that that's over with, time to take care of you six little ponies...Er, where did they go anyways?" Spoke Discord , which he then looked south of where he was and gave a look that said "Oh poopie" as he saw the mane six ride off in a train going straight to Canterlot. "Looks like I've got a lot of explaining to do to Princess Celestia..." spoke a distraught Discord as he stood there in silence in the mist of the rubble. Suddenly he heard a noise from behind him. "What the-, Honey! Some pimp fucking wrecked the store!" said a yellow-skinned fellow with a hat on his head. Next came his wife, a blue skinned mare with a shocked look as well as her husband, as they looked at the lone Pimp and the pile of Rubble in their store. "Uh...I gotta go." and with that, Discord ran off to canterlot, where he was sure he'd have to pimp-slap some more bitches. The main six sat quietly in their seats as they approached Canterlot. Twilight looked to her friends and then decided to try and cheer them up. "It's okay girls, we'll get Princess Celestia's help and send Discord back to his stone prison." Spoke a (slightly) grinning Twilight as she looked for any brightness in her friend's faces, but to no avail. Not even in Pinkie's face. But finally they did brighten up, and that definitely raised Twilight's morale. "Well darling, maybe you are right, but how can we stop Discord if he's not shooting fireworks at us, and is actually attacking us? I mean, our past villains didn't have the balls gall to attack us and really they just gave us an easy victory...Could it be that we aren't...tough?" said Rarity, resting her head on her hand. Now it was AppleJack's turn to talk. "Now you listen here Miss Priss; we are too tough, and we are going to stay tough until we get this con sartin' varmin down to where he belongs, got it?" snapped AppleJack. Rarity stood up and bitch-slapped AppleJack in the face. "Now you go to hell you filthy mule, and kiss my feet while you're at it because you're the least attractive of all of us!" Rarity and AppleJack started fist-fighting, until someone spoke up. That someone was Fluttershy. "Um, excuse me everyone...Um I said excuse me..." finally, she spoke up. (The moment you've all been waiting for.) "I SAID EXCU-" before Fluttershy could finish, one of AppleJack's feet hit Fluttershy in the mouth and she plopped to the floor, and then burst into tears from the pain. Twilight sighed as Rarity and AppleJack continued to fight on for awhile until they just called it a draw and sat back down as far away from each other as possible. "Let's just stay quiet for awhile until we get there." spoke a flustered Twilight as the train chugged on into the sunset.