//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: How to Bore a Commissioner // by Shieldheart204 //------------------------------// Chapter 7 At three o'clock Shield had finished clearing out the cockatrice nest, cleaned out the corpses for dissection and prepared a batch of Maiden's Kiss. After that he found himself bored and therefore wanting a drink. And so he started his quest around town hoping to find a tavern or a dive or any type of business where a man could buy a drink. Most females he asked gave him a funny look and didn't answer while the others didnt answer; so when he found a tall, blond burly man in a red plaid shirt walked into town carrying what Shield could deduce as a metric ton of apples he felt relieved. "Excuse me good man, do you know where a human could get a drink in this town?" "Eeyup." answered this man. "Is there any hope that you could point me in the right direction?" asked Shield with a deadpan tone. The farmer raised his hand and pointed at a thatched building with the most hilarious sign: a chubby dragon with a napkin tied to the bottom of its neck, with fork and knife ready to feast on a large mound of turkey legs. The inside looked like a bar but felt like a tavern. Most of the furniture was modern, giving off the sense of a bar, but the ceiling and floor was wooden just like the old taverns. "Well hello there newcomer to the Chugging Dragon! The best place to relax like an adult should." said a baritone voice from under the counter. As the person rose, cleaning a pewter tankard, he scanned the commissioner. "I've heard a lot about you and was hoping you would stop by." "Really now! And how is that possible?" asked Shield as he approached his guns. "Most of the medical students come here often and they told about the Death Lord. They talked about how their theories were destroyed when you turned up in a coma with more problems than a repairman after a hurricane. The only lead was that you were a Commissioner." answered the barman. "And you can keep those under control, Chekov makes sure that any troublemakers stay under control." he turned his gaze to a double barrel shotgun above him. "Sorry, I was just worried that this would be an ambush." Shield lowered his hands and sat on the stool. "I'm actually a suspended commissioner, got grounded after my last mission." "Oh really? And I suppose all details are classified?" Grinned the barkeeper as he dashed a wooden tankard of beer. "Local draft, on the house." "Nah, these special missions are rarely classified. That and I'm suspended, which means that the government apcan and probably will deny my mission. But there's really not much to tell. I went to the Horseshoe mines to take a medallion from the goblins, got into a fight with them and then I had to fight a bunch of changelings and at the end I had to fight a pack of trolls." Shield drank some of the beer, which was dark and very tasty. "Aren't you the exciting one? Most folk consider themselves adventurous if they see a hunter, but you just fought three nightmares and said it so casually." said the keeper with a smile as he cleaned a glass. "Well, when you've been head of security and acting commander in Vanhoover you tend to raise your standards. At one point I was forced to fight off a pack of shadow husks during a blitz near Hollow Shades with only a claymore. Poor things never got the chance to scratch me." Shield said with a smug grin. "Shadow Husks? I thought that was just the stuff of nightmares! I remember my granny would tell me stories of Brave Heart and his fight against the thousand husks. I never though it was real." "That story has been embellished so many times that if it were sugar you would get a diabetic shock just from hearing it." He chuckled. "So what's your name kid?" "Shield Heart, Brigadier in the Vanhoover Steel Legion and Enforcer in the Commission." "I still remember the last one of your kind to come here. He was named Marshal Law if my memory serves me right. I was just a teenager back then, but I'll never forget his look. That deep blue trench coat and his bandolier belts holding those six-shooters. I swear I've never seen anyone enter a bar with such elegance and authority." "You met Marshal Law? No way!" exclaimed the blond as he slammed his empty tankard. "He's the one that got me into this biz in the first place! He taught me how to shoot a gun and fight with a sword!" "Is that so? I never really knew him, but I remember very well his mission. He told us there was some outlaw gang near town and he was instructed to make him disappear. He took sixteen slugs to the gut, but he still managed to kill eighteen dregs in the blink of an eye. And when he came back he didn't go to the hospital, he came to this bar and ordered a bottle of whiskey. That's how he healed himself." As they continued talking about macho-healing a small kid burst through the doors, panting as his wings fell down. "Featherweight? What're you doing here? You know better than to come, if your mom catches you she'll close me!" The bartender roared as he began shooing the poor child. "I need him." responded the youth as he pointed his finger at Shield. Shield immediately turned around and finished his beer. "What is it kid? Cat got stuck in a tree?" he asked as he jumped off his chair. "No, it's Fluttershy. Some bikers got angry with her in the market and pulled out clubs. I ran towards the mayor, who asked me to get you. Then I had to ask Big Macintosh where I could find you. She said you can help." "Kid, there's no time to lose." said Shield as he grabbed the child and placed him on his shoulders. The sprint lasted two minutes, under which Featherweight recovered and started flying next to the Commissioner. The crime scene had evolved, it was clear that they were beating someone. All seventeen aggressors looked like greasers, all wearing matching leather jackets, hardened hairdos and spiked boots. "Gentlemen!" he shouted, but his words were in vain. He unholstered Manny from under his crimson coat and fired a burst of bullets. The gangers turned around to see the new threat. "Gentlemen, what on earth is going on in here?" he looked around the marketplace and saw that the few people that were left were now running away. One of them, the leader he supposed, stepped forward while combing his hardened hairdo. "This ain't none of your business gramps, get lost!" He shouted as he pointed a steel club towards him. "Okay, first of all, I'm probably five years older than you so the gramps insult falls flat. Unless we're talking about mental age, under which case this child right here can also be called gramps." He pointed at Featherweight. "Second, it is my business. You are beating a helpless woman for no apparent reason. And third, and my personal favorite, I have guns." he said as he opened his coat to reveal the harness. "So you might want to give me a good reason as to why I shouldn't blow your heads off." "You think you can beat the Kobras? Do you know what we do with goody-two-shoes like you?" the leader spoke with bravado. His group now stopped kicking he poor woman and turned to face him. "I'm sure it doesn't involve a well-earned massage. Now, would you be so kind as to stop hitting her?" he replied as he slung Manny on his back and slammed his fist on his chest to activate the barrier. "Fuck you! You think we'll let you insult us and walk away?" he shouted as he pulled out a Buckrreta 9mm pistol. "We'll send you to hell right now!" and he discharged five rounds. The bullets hit Shield's face, but the barrier drained them of force. "Pretty much, now I'll give you ten seconds to start running before I deliver the biggest smack down of your life." smirked Shield as he got into his fighting stance and extended his steel gloves. "Do me a favor kid and grab the poor woman once I've cleared the area." and he blinked forward, dodging another salvo of bullets. When he was face-to-face with the leader he delivered a jab aimed at the stomach, and rocketed his opponent towards a stall. One of his lackeys hit with his club, which became bent after impact. "Is that all you got? I swear I once fought a wererabbit with more punch!" roared Shield as he dodged another club. A ganger pulled out another pistol and discharged all fifteen bullets, but it only served to disrupt the barrier. "That's it! Balls to the wall!" and he used his fists to propel himself forward, landing his crotch on the poor man's face. The momentum forced the head to slam against a wooden table, producing a sickening crack on impact. But he then grabbed an incoming steel club, tore it from the aggressor and intended to lodge it on another's head. The weapon was too blunt to penetrate, but still dented the skull. Two more swung their clubs, but only one managed to bang the back of his head. With the impact he became disoriented, which allowed two bullets to bounce off his breastplate. Using his fists he blasted himself away from trouble, and armed himself with Ash and Snow. In an instant he unleashed a hail of crimson bolts at the mob, downing only five as the rest threw themselves to the ground. "Get the shotguns you idiots!" Bellowed the leader as he managed to stand up, limping on his left leg. "Kill that freak with buckshots!" And eight of the goons parted from the main group, probably heading to the various black motorcycles parked over some flower beds. The remaining six stared at him with their steel clubs, and one of them had a nailed bat. Two attacked and missed, while another duo pulled out pistols and aimed. The guy with the nail bat just stood there, examining the commissioner's movements. Thrusting his fists to the ground Shield fired himself unto the crowd, rocketing past the melee fighters. As he was landing he punched a gunner in the face, forcing him to back off with the increased impact of the glove. Shield then face the other guy with a gun and delivered a backwards roundhouse kick, but to his surprise the goon caught it while dropping his gun. With a smirk Shield jumped and hit the enemy with his other leg, The club-goons were now approaching the fight with angry faces and the other two started to back down. The brigadier turned around and faced his sparring opponents, focusing on the guy to the left. He delivered a cross punch to the left flank, followed by two short jabs and ending with an uppercut to the chin. The last shot was augmented by the cannon, which propelled the goon above the fight. The other took the advantage by swinging his club with full strength, aiming for the distracted foe's head. But the barriers absorbed the damage. With a creepy smile Shield retaliated. He delivered a kick to the enemy's left side, probably bruising his rib cage in the process. He followed with another backwards roundhouse, striking the greaser's face. As he landed he disarmed the hand that almost hit him and returned the hit, forcing the target to fall down. Shield ended his involvement with a bullet to the head. The last grunt armed with a club charged forward, but Shield grabbed his extending arm and slammed him to the ground. He then finished him with a stomp to the head. Shield picked up the club and used it like a sword, preparing to engage the big brute with the nail bat. He charged, but was pushed to the side when ten rusty nails hit his ribs. The barrier held, but he knew that it would break on the next hit. He swung once more, but was blocked by the board. The greaser backed up and delivered an executioner strike, hoping to destroy Shield's blond head. The strike knocked the steel baton out of his hands and pushed the commissioner to the floor as a loud crack of the barrier baking was heard. Shield fled from the big guy by using his pistols, and then fired a barrage. But surprisingly enough, the brute was unscathed and walking menacingly towards Shield. "Oh come on!" exclaimed Shield. "That's just not fair!" he then charged with fists in front, erecting translucent shields from his rubies to deflect the incoming blow. He delivered a storm of quick punches across the stomach, but to his surprise the brute was unaffected. With a quick hand the greatest grabbed Shield by his throat and began choking him. That's the moment the blond realized why his punches were making less damage than a baby's spit. This dude was tall, about one point ninety meters, probably clocking in at the two meter mark. But also he was a Mage, that's why his grip was as tight as a basilisk's choke. He was augmenting himself with mana, and Shield knew just what to do with rogue mages. Reaching for Ash he noticed in he corner of his right eye that there were nine pump shotguns aimed at him, probably waiting for he brute to become separate from the group. With the gun in hand he aimed at the head using the last molecules of oxygen in his brain. "You know that's not going to work right?" taunted the greaser. "Say cheese!" said Shield pulled the trigger and released a blinding flash, damaging the brute's pupils. The Mage dropped him, covering his eyes from the light. Shield fell down on one knee, his lungs desperate to recover the oxygen lost. After ten seconds he was back on his feet, ready to finish the batter. "No more mister nice guy motherfucker!" he exclaimed as he catapulted himself towards the brute, delivering a bone-crushing hook punch against the man's nose. At that moment he noticed an amber barrier dissolve as he fell down. "You can hit me all you want, you cannot hope to defeat me." said the tall greaser with a smirk. "Oh yeah? I beg to differ." Shield retorted as he prepared for one final strike. The man stood up and charged, delivering a punch with the momentum he acquired in his run. Shield relaxed and allowed the magic to course through his veins, augmenting every single part of himself. With the extra reflexes Shield was now capable of reacting faster than before, and with this power he grabbed the arm placing his right arm on the outside and his left on the inside. With one magically-enhanced jerk he cracked his opponent's arm. The man cried out in pain, but still continued his attack, delivering a side kick aimed to the ribs. But Shield was quick to deflect it with his left leg. He retaliated with three side kicks with his right leg followed by a reverse roundhouse augmented by a magic jet erupting from the sole of his boot. The big brute fell to his knees, his jaw unhinged from the left side. "I do not fear death." he said telepathically. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you fear things far worst than death." said Shield as he pulled out Ash and opened fire. The crimson bolt erupted from a puff of black smoke and embedded itself in the brute's forehead. "Boulder, NO!" shouted the leader as his grunt fell unconsciously to the floor. "Attack Kobras!" bellowed the commander as nine guns roared and unleashed a thousand lead pellets towards the commissioner. But with his heightened senses Shield extended his hand and cast a magnetic sphere to attract most of the projectiles, compressing them into a neat ball of energy. "Shit, fire at will!" shouted the well-groomed ganger as he pumped out a shell from his gun. The men fired another barrage, pumping and shooting at different paces. Shield managed to keep his magnet up, but there were still a few strays that attacked his person. Although the barrier on his armor ensured they became harmless, he was getting worried. These thugs might be way below his usual standard, but they were getting the jump on him… again. He waited for them to finish their chambers before placing his compressed ball on Ash and firing it at the crowd. The blast erupted into a million shards, forcing most to drop their guns and nourish their faces. The leader and two mooks began reloading, their hands full of millimetric scratches. "Stop right there sir!" came the voice of the town mayor from the distance. "I commando you to stop…" but her voice faded away, Shield was only interested in the remaining goons. The leader fired a round, destroying the barrier of an enraged man. "I'd stop if I were you, there's really no point in fighting me." he said as he kicked the gun from the leader, the weapon fired twenty pellets in all directions. "You lost gangers, you always lose." he continued as he pulled Snow out of its holster and shot the other two greasers before they could prepare a shell. "And now you have a lot to answer for." Shield lifted the leader, preparing to deliver the killing blow. "WOULD YOU KINDLY LET THE MAN LIVE?!" came a chilling roar from behind Shield that forced him to obey. He turned around and saw Free Will standing about five meters away from him with Twilight Sparkle next to him, his arms holding his weight with an umbrella.