//------------------------------// // Chapter XIV - Titans Together (Part VIII) // Story: The Legend of the Titans // by Silent Bob //------------------------------// Ponyville 'Loving Heart' Hospital Two Minutes Earlier A perk of Starfire's ears was all it took for her to ask her search team to hold still. In the distance, the familiar sound of Cyborg's sonic cannon and Beast Boy's Jurassic roars and snarls could be heard - the sounds of a usual Titan battle. "Ahhhh crap," Dr. Cox growled. "This must have been the attack that Ms. Sunshine was talking about..." Starfire quickly nodded. "We need to move to assist them! The assassin can wait until later..." Applejack furrowed her brow. "Me n' Coxer here-" "Never call me that again," he said sternly. "- Can keep up the search in the hospital. Who knows what this invisi-changeling could be up to for real." Fluttershy eeped slightly. "Well - um... in that case - I think I'll stay in the hospital as well." She then gave Starfire a pleading look. "I-If that's alright with you." Starfire nodded. "Very well, but I will be back after-" Suddenly, she was cut off by a low, grumbling laugh. Down the hall, scattering doctors and nurses alike, stood a massive, hideous, bi-pedal figure. "I-Is that what I think it is?!" Applejack gulped. Fluttershy squeaked at that, backing away. "O-Ogre..." "Looks like some sort of hybrid," Dr. Cox grunted. "A troll and an ogre had a baby... and that's something I'm never going to imagine again. Looks like he got the worst of both worlds, too." Yet it said not a word, it was the one perched on his shoulders who seemed to do the talking. A diminutive goblin with a mouth three times his size, one wearing a strange, shaman-like outfit and a voodoo-style mask. "Hah! I wouldn't worry too much about Grimoire here if I were you," the goblin chirped. "He does what I tell him. Otherwise- he's pretty charming when he isn't trying to kill you." He then cracked his bony, green knuckles. "Though unfortunately - my job calls for him to be a little bit less pleasant." "For the sake of reducing your bodily harm," Starfire snapped. "I'd suggest you move your... your 'flank' out of this healing facility!" "What she said," Dr. Cox hissed. "What kind of whackjob decides he wants to brawl in a friggin' hospital? Well, I guess you sort of answered my question, didn't you? That means - if ya don't kindly scidaddidly-dee I'm going to have to do a few unpleasant tests on you - a doctor's duty after all. One: pain tolerance. Two: magic tolerance. Three: my hoof up your ass tolerance! Kapeesh?" ... The group turned to Dr. Cox, awestruck. "I do rants," he shrugged. "It's my thing." Gnarl rolled his eyes. "Blah blah blah. Do you think we give a shit about collateral? Either way - I wouldn't worry too much. A quick one-two smash and this hospital will lose a few patrons..." "Underestimating your opponents is a foolish endeaver," Starfire said, narrowing two-now glowing, green eyes. "Heh," Applejack said, glancing at them. "Now ain't that something?" "And it's pretty dumb to underestimate the importance of 'smack-talk', too," Gnarl grinned. "Shame you can barely speak, though, Starfire... I mean, come on - it took me like a year to learn how to speak Equestrian, but you? You sound like you learned the language from a preschool storybook! Still didn't do you much good, though." "I speak how I wish," Starfire said defensively. "I have picked up both English and Equestrian without too much trouble. It is just the details that... bother me." "Hehe, yeah, OK," Gnarl giggled, before giving whispering something to Grimoire. He gave a grunt, and began to pound across the floor towards her, almost leaving dents in it. "I demand you cease your... your foot-pounding!" Starfire called. The voodoo-mask wearing goblin merely chuckled. "So, just the details, is it? So you're some sort of weirdo alien princess, but you can't even pick up simple slang?! God, this is why monarchies suck so much! It's like a giant, retarded lottery!" Despite the troll-ogre hybrid stomping towards her, however, Starfire did not move. She didn't even make any attempt to fight... she just argued back. "I'll have you know I rule over nothing - I've served my friends' homeworld for many years! And I shall serve this one as well!" The troll stomped ever closer. Fluttershy continued to inch backwards, while both Dr. Cox and Applejack glanced at Starfire with concern. "Uh, darlin'," Applejack coughed. "Nothin' wrong with defending yourself, but shouldn't you um- use your superpowers or whatever you got?" Starfire ignored the duo. The troll continued to charge. "Oooooh, OK," Gnarl chuckled, smirking down at her from behind his mask. "I think you need a bit of common sense knocked into you... if I don't blow out your brains first." He whipped out a small, black ball - a grenade, yet Starfire still made no move to fight him. "I do not! Cease your charge and relinquish your weapon!" "Starfire, he ain't going to do that!" Applejack cried. Fluttershy peeped yet again. "T-There's something wrong. If what Robin said was true, she wouldn't be falling for this..." "Well, we gotta snap her outa of it - that big fellah ain't gonna go down easily!" Applejack called. She turned toward's Starfire, roaring: "STARFIRE! CONCENTRATE!" Yet her and the goblin continued to argue... "Alright, time's up!" Dr. Cox roared, his horn glowing a bright red. "A good doctor doesn't just heal people, he beats the crap out of people trying to hurt them!" TEEEOW! A bright beam of red soared out of his horn, causing the goblin to duck and momentarily ceasing his argument. "Oi! Watch it, you stupid bastard, you almost hit me!" Dr. Cox rolled his eyes. "Like I'm the kind of person to give warning shots." At that, Starfire suddenly shook her head, almost as if regaining her senses. "W-What? Why was I just - EEP!" Grimoire swung down with two, massive fists... CRACK! "Holy Celestia!.!.!.!.!" Applejack cried. They would have struck the ground, if Starfire wasn't in the way of it. Gritting her teeth, she actually managed to catch the two, but the force of it was enough to send her ripping through the floor - down two levels and all the way to the reception lobby. A number of ponies shrieked and gasped, scattering as she struck the ground.. Save for two, of course. "Oh my gosh! It's Starfire!" Dr. Adorable giggled, before turning to an awe-struck, maneless pony next to him. "Stich, look who it is! She's the one I was telling you about!" "Uh, JD," the surgical pony said, raising an eyebrow. "She just crashed through the roof. Aren't we going to uh... do doctor stuff right now?" "Pfffft, na," Dr. Adorable said dismissively. "She's Starfire. Give her a second..." Suddenly, Starfire growled, raising herself out of the crater she had formed in the tiled floor. "X'Hal tara shnough RAKA!" "Oh shoot, now she all mad!" JD grinned. Sitch slowly nodded, backing away from her. "Not at us, right? JD? Not us us?!" "Naaaaa..." Starfire suddenly blushed, gazing at them. "My apologies for my insidious language. There is a most foul creature above attempting to harm my new friends! I did not mean any offense towards you." "Heh, it's cool, girl," Sitch sighed in relief. "But uh - should we call the town watch or anything?" "I'm afraid there may not be time for that," Starfire said, cracking her neck...before unsuccessfully attempting to fly - her right wing barely managed a flutter. "Xorka! Tara shnel!" she hissed. "Yo! Don't move that anymore!" Stitch grunted. "Your wing's sprang! Let us fix it up for you!" "There is no time for that either!" Starfire said, her eyes now glowing a fierce green yet again. "Where are the upward locomotive assistants?" "You mean, stairs?" Dr. Adorable asked. "She must not use em' much," Stitch whispered. "Yes, quickly!" she called. The heterosexual couple gulped, before pointing behind them. Starfire nodded to them in thanks, before dashing towards the stairs. ... Stitch blinked in disbelief. "Damn that girl is fast." "Heck yeah she is! Say it with me, Stitch!" Dr. Adorable grinned. Stitch raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Say what?" "Duh! Teen Titans, GO!" ... Stitch gave him a blank look. "Never say that again. At least not around me." Dr. Adorable frowned. "Sorry..." BOOOOOOOOOM! The pair's eyes widened. "Oh hell - that was a bomb!" Stitch cried. "Time to get more serious. We gotta evacuate the building! This isn't a game!" Dr. Adorable nodded, before dashing towards a red lever... "I've got the fire alarm!" As a siren began to blare, Applejack dodged another, this time less-powerful fist from Grimoire. At the same time, Gnarl cackled, throwing a grenade her way. Applejack gasped. "Dr. Cox!" she cried. "On it!" he grunted, using a levitation spell to snatch it, redirect it, and throw it out the window. It detonated harmlessly in the air. Dr. Cox gave an egotistical grin. "Hah! Second on the team of Mana Ball at the University of Suck It!" The goblin grinned, whipping out another grenade. "And let me guess: a team that was last in the league?" Dr. Cox turned and glared at him. "No! We were the top of the game: literally and figuratively." "So, if I were to look up the records right now... they wouldn't show that you're just some egotistical loser?" Gnarl giggled, priming his grenade... and Dr. Cox looked as if he wasn't about to do a thing to stop it. While the two of them argued, all the while, Grimoire was preparing to send his two hammer-like fists down upon Applejack yet again. Suddenly, she gave a gasp of realization. "Arguin'!" "H-Huh?" Fluttershy eeped, cowering in a corner. Applejack shook her head in disbelief. "I dunno how- but I think this fella has some sort of way to make people argue with him - other than just bein' a, what's it called? A troll, of course!" Grimoire shot her an angry glare, before- CRAAAACK!.!.! - Slamming two fists down towards her. She was barely able to roll out of the way. "Woah! Easy, there. No offense, big fella!" Applejack gulped. Grimoire glanced at her awkwardly for a second, raised an eyebrow, and then gave a somewhat forgiving-sounding huff, before promptly- SLAAAAAAAAM!.!.! Attempting to pulverize her again. However, the warning came too late for Dr. Cox. Gnarl had already thrown the grenade... BOOOOOOM!.!.! "AAAAGH!" It struck with titanic force, not close to enough to kill Dr. Cox, but enough to send him flying back, his fur singed and smoldering. He fell to the floor, unable to rise. Fluttershy gasped, glancing away. Applejack merely gave a snarl. "Cheap trick you pulled on him. He may be a prick, but he didn't deserve that!" "I'm surprised you even figured it out," Gnarl grinned. "Not bad... from a common Earth Pony." "You talk a lot of smack," Applejack grunted. "Yet why do you let your buddy do all the dirty work?" Gnarl merely smirked. "It's quite, simple, country girl." "RAUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHH!.!.!" "AAACCCK!" SLAAAAAAAM! With one swift move, Grimoire had swung a horizontal mare-slap her way, sending her careening into a nearby wall. It actually cracked a bit as she slid down it, unconscious. "He's very efficient." "N-No!" Fluttershy squeaked. "I bring the mouth, you bring the muscle," Gnarl chuckled, patting his friend's shoulder. "Nice job, Grimoire. Now - let's finish the orange one." "Hmm?" Grimoire grunted. Gnarl smirked. "Killing Elements will get us a bonus, remember? Screw harmony! Yes, yes, I know you hate killing, but think of the payday! Hell, I'll even give you half of mine for that mother of yours... the Griffins have pretty good doctors, you know. I owe it to you anyway, buddy." Grimoire's eyes widened. He sighed. At that, a low, deep rumble echoed from Grimoire, as if his stomach were talking instead of his mouth. "Yellow one?" he pointed. "Pffft," Gnarl chuckled, not even bothering to look at her. "What about her? Let's get this over with already... Starfire might be a bit tough, and you don't need to off the snarky Doctor, but the orange one-" "Um... Gnarl," Grimoire grunted, pointing desperately now. "Not helpless." "Huh?" He turned his head, his eyes widening. A glaring Fluttershy was now her true self: an entity wrapped in green vines with two, piercing blue eyes. "Woah- when the hell did she turn into Captain Eco?" Gnarl gasped. "While you spoke," Grimoire stated bluntly. "T-That's right," Fluttershy grunted, meek but still determined. "And how dare you suggest- suggest murder of all things!" "Death is death," Gnarl grunted. "Once she's dead, it'll be as if she never even existed... she won't care." Grimoire raised an eyebrow. "How could you be so callous?!" Fluttershy shrieked. "The very thought of murder is-" "Normal business," Gnarl grunted. "I'm a mercenary, sweet-heart. Sometimes we're asked to kill. And unfortunately, that means it sucks to be you right now. Grimoire... if you'll do the pleasure of clearing an invasive species?" Grimoire gave a grunt of confirmation, preparing to charge. Two vines fluttered from Fluttershy, twisting in the air like two eels ready to defend their master. "Heh - well look at this," Gnarl said, rolling his eyes. "This shouldn't be too difficult. Once we're done with her, it'll just be Starfire and Robin... and a bigass paycheck. Hehehe!" "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Gnarl gave a grunt, mask-clawing himself. "Oh, son of a bitch." He turned his head, groaning. The two mercenaries were now surrounded from both sides. Starfire on one, Flutterfright on another. "You shall hurt no more today, and especially not Robin!" Starfire roared. "Only a true coward would fight an opponent not able to fight back!" "Yeah, whatever," Gnarl moaned. "A warrior's code doesn't make a paycheck. Ask Shadowmist, he'll tell ya that. So - which one do you want, Grimoire?" "Starfire." "Good choice," Gnarl grinned, before leaping off his shoulder and clattering onto the floor. The goblin shaman then cracked his knuckles, smirking. "Now then... ready to learn what goblins do to the woods, plant-girl?" Fluttershy merely gulped, her vines still twirling about. "Hehe, I'll take that as a yes," the goblin chortled, smirking wickedly. "You speak for the trees, I guess? Well I speak for the money!" In the meantime, Starfire rose on her hind legs, two Starbolts flickering to life on her hooves. Save for the sound of the fire alarm, not one pony made a sound for nearly a half a minute.... ... Then... "HEHEHEHEHAHAHAAAAA!" Gnarl cackled, rushing towards Fluttershy. "RAUUUUUUUUUGGGH!.!.!" Grimoire thundered towards Starfire. CHUCK! Gnarl lobbed another grenade towards Fluttershy, smoke spitting out of it. WHACK! Fluttershy smacked it out of the air before it could strike near her. It detonated on the floor, spilling a green gas every which way. "Not bad," Gnarl grumbled, pulling out another grenade. "Looks like there was more to you than meets the eye, after all. Shame that your little secret, I suppose it is, dies with us today, hmmm?" ... "HAAA!" Starfire shouted. FLING-FLING-FLING-FLING-FLING!.!.! A multitude of Starbolts flew from her, smacking into the monstrous hybrid. He was struck at multiple points, but like a tank, kept moving. TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWW!.!.! Starfire let loose with her eye-beams - "MPH!" - Only to find Grimoire ready for this. He drew a massive, spiked club from his back, using it to block the streams. "Interesting abilities," he said in his deep, low voice, as calm as if he were sun-bathing. "I have not seen a pegasus such as you before. Stronger than most, too. I will feel less bad about this, now... HAURRAAAAGH!.!.!" Starfire 'eeped', rolled, and dodged it, before- BAAAAAM!.!.! - Sending a thunderous hoof at the beast's groin. "AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!.!.!" "Sorry to say, but I am much stronger than I look!" Starfire snapped. ... Down the hall... "Um - stop moving, if it's fine with you!" Fluttershy grumbled, trying desperately to snatch Gnarl with one of her two vines. "Uh uh - I ain't one for jungle fever!" he growled, drawing a small blade, one with a red-liquid dripping off it. SHIIIING! He cut into one of the vines, causing Fluttershy to shriek. However, the force of the hit was not enough to sink it through... Fluttershy whipped the vine into the air like a bull-whip, sending the blade clattering a distance away. "Please... don't make me hurt you," she eeped. Gnarl blinked in disbelief. "Friggin' god - you're too adorable for even me to talk shit toOOOAAAAH-" Finally, a vine gripped him around the waste, hoisting him into the air. "Now, are you going to play nice?" Fluttershy mumbled. "Ugh, let me go, you primordial leftover!" Gnarl shouted, struggling against it. His arms were completely immobile, Fluttershy sighed. "Well...?" ... At that, Gnarl relaxed his muscles, making a look of mock-thought. "Hmmm... alright. Let's start over. My name is Gnarl and I like playing games. My favorite is..." He managed to grip and prime a grenade tied to his waste with just a loose hand... "Hot potato!" he giggled. He dropped the grenade. "Oopsie! Guess I lose..." "Huh?!" Fluttershy gasped. "EEEEEEEP!" A puff of green gas shot out of it, and a burning sensation saturated the ends of her two primary vines. "AAAAAAAGHHHHH!.!.!" They actually began to corrode before she managed to retract them. "W-What is that?!" Fluttershy squeaked, panting heavily. "A gas that corrodes plant matter," Gnarl smirked. "Good for finding enemies hiding in brush... or killing enemies made of brush in this case." He then pulled out another grenade, glaring at her. "And guess what? There's plenty more where that came from! SUCK IT! HOOOOHAHAHAHA!.!.!" And their battle continued. ... WHAAAAM! Starfire sent two hooves into Grimoire's massive legs. He gasped, and toppled over. SLAAAAAM!.!.! The floor shook as blubber-like belly struck it. "Buck..." Grimoire groaned, trying to lift massive form up. "Now you've done it. Can't get up..." Starfire glared at him, before standing on her hind hooves again, summoning two more starbolts. "I'm afraid I have no sympathy for killers..." Grimoire gave a huff at that. "Hmmm?" Starfire said, raising an eyebrow. ... Grimoire lay in silence for a second, before sighing - one with just a hint of remorse. "Mmmph... just finish it already," he grunted. Starfire glanced at him in surprise. "... Neither of us want any deaths today..." Starfire furrowed her brow. "Is this a trick?" He then gulped. "No," he grunted, shaking his head. "Just don't tell Gnarl I said that. Never forgive." Starfire nodded, smiling at him slightly and bringing her two hooves together to form her two small starbolts into one. "I understand." Grimoire nodded slowly, a small smile on his face. "Thanks." FLIIIIING!.!.! "AAAAAAAAACK!.!.!" ... At the sound of this, Gnarl paused in mid-throw of another grenade, turning about with two, widening eyes. "W-What?! Damnit! How the hell did you manage to take down Grimoire?!" "Somewhat easily," Starfire growled, and then cocked her head at him. "I have fought many heavy-oriented opponents before. They seem to think of me as frail - yet they are always disappointed. Are you willing to surrender, now that your 'muscle' has been incapacitated?" "Y-Yes, please," Fluttershy squeaked, holding her two, now-decaying vines at bay. "I d-don't really like fighting that much, you see..." Gnarl glared at Starfire, then at Fluttershy, before a slight smirk came to his face. He stowed his current grenade, before pulling out another... "Sorry, ladies, but I'm afraid this isn't over - it's just going to end a little bit differently." He then winked. "A good mercenary knows a thing or two about adaptation, you see." With that, he dropped it, releasing a plethora of smoke. By the time it cleared, the goblin was gone. "Curses!" Starfire growled. "Where has that foul-mouthed... um- mask-wearing miscreant gone too?" "Maybe he went home?" Fluttershy gulped. "T-That's good... I want to go home, too." Starfire raised an eyebrow. "I do not understand though... why did you not reveal this... this version of yourself to us before? I assume it is not common to most pegasi." Fluttershy blushed slightly. "It's... um... kind of a secret... I didn't want Applejack to see." "Ahhhh," Starfire said, nodding. "I suppose I understand." "Same here," a cruel, yet somewhat casual voice called, gaining the two's attention. A bit away stood a janitor, busily starting to clean the floors already. "And quite the secret you have, too... would be a shame is somepony found out, wouldn't it? Not that I'd ever tell anypony, though... unless they happened to make the biggest mess this hospital's ever seen, of course." The Janitor gave her the evil eye. And Fluttershy gulped harder than ever before.